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CHAPTER FOURTEEN

H ugh could not fall asleep. In the dark, alone hours, he had to face the truth.

He did not want someone to take Annie’s place.

She’d proven pleasant to live with. And to spend the evenings with, though he’d been careful not to avail himself of any more kisses.

He’d gone so far as to hint to God that if someone else didn’t show up by the end of the four-week trial period, he’d be quite happy about it.

He awakened the next morning with his conscience searing him. He was acting selfishly and thinking more of his own desires than what was best for Annie.

Still, he could not bring himself to say anything to her. Could not remind her that this arrangement could be temporary. Could not even bring himself to pray for a substitute.

Instead, he hurried to his office, intending to bury himself in study.

He managed to make a few notes when a knock came to the door connecting to the living room. “Yes?”

Annie opened the door. “There’s someone here to see you.” Her mouth puckered.

“They came to the back door?” Usually people who wanted an audience with him came to the outer office door.

“She did.” The words dripped with disapproval. “Shall I show her to your office?”

She? Then, it hit him like a blow to his midsection. “Someone in response to my advertisement?”

“Indeed.”

He would have done anything to remove the wounded look on her face, but was this God’s way of making His plan plain? “Is Grandfather here?”

“Of course.”

“Fine, then show her in and leave the door open.” He did not want any occasion for someone to suggest inappropriate behavior.

She spun about, marched back to the kitchen, and returned with a robust-looking woman with her hair in a tight black knot. He guessed her age to be at least thirty.

Wasn’t he looking for an older woman?

Annie left without saying a word. He heard the outside door slap shut and guessed she had stepped out.

He hurried to his feet. “I’m Hugh Arness.”

“I’m Harriet Higgins. Miss Higgins.” Did she mean to tip her nose as she talked to him? “I’m Mrs. Shearer’s sister. She told me you were looking for a mature woman to run your house with a view to matrimony.”

They eyed each other, taking stock. She seemed the practical sort. No nonsense about her.

“I’m prepared to take over your home, but I’d like to see the place and get an idea of what you need, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course. Well, this is my office.” He waved his arm about. The book Annie had given him lay in the center of his desk. His heart clawed at his ribcage, but he moved his gaze onward. “The church is next door.”

“Am I to understand you are at home much of your time?”

“I work here but I often leave to visit others.” Why did he feel as if he must explain himself? “Would you care to see the rest of the house?”

“Certainly.” She strode from the room, and he followed. They stood in the living room. He pointed out the two hallways. “My son and I share a room down there.”

“I would most certainly take a room down the other hallway. I understand any union between us would be strictly for the purposes of propriety. I want nothing else.”

The poor woman’s face looked about to ignite with her discomfort at even hinting at anything but a marriage in name only.

It had been his intent all along, but sounded cold and unfriendly coming from her mouth.

He couldn’t imagine wanting to stay up in the evening and kiss her before the fireplace.

He pulled his gaze from the unlit fire and turned to regard the rest of the room.

“As you can see, this is the living room.”

She gave it careful study. “It’s adequate, I suppose.”

“Come and see the kitchen and meet my son.” He led the way. “This is Mr. Marshall.”

Grandfather struggled to his feet and shook hands with Miss Higgins. Then sank back to his chair, giving the woman frank study.

Hugh would have liked to know what the older man thought of her. However, his opinion would hardly be unbiased.

“This is Evan.” The boy stood at the far end of the room, clinging to Happy’s fur. Hugh was about to tell Miss Higgins the dog’s name when she spoke.

“You have a dog indoors? They are dirty animals. He’ll have to go outside.” She made shooing motions with her hands.

Happy pressed to Evan’s side as the boy withdrew and sat on the mat he’d abandoned only a few days ago.

“The boy should not be sharing the dog’s bed. How disgusting.”

Evan whimpered and buried his face in Happy’s fur.

“What did you say the boy’s name was?”

“Evan.”

“Shouldn’t he be required to greet me?”

“Unfortunately, he does not talk. He’s had rather a rough time of things in the past.”

Miss Higgins drew herself up rod straight. “I will tolerate no excuses for rudeness. Evan, stand up and say hello like a good boy.”

Evan’s eyes widened, and he looked at Hugh. The boy might not have words, but he clearly communicated his fear and accusation to Hugh.

Hugh must defend and protect his son. There were a few other things he must right as well. Such as living in fear after telling the congregation they should not.

Annie practically ran all the way to the store. Uncle George looked up at her hurried entry. His eyes widened in alarm.

“Is something wrong with Grandfather?”

“No. He’s fit as a fiddle. Is Aunt Mary upstairs?”

“Yes, child. Go tell her all your troubles.” He patted her back as she rushed by him.

Aunt Mary looked up as Annie burst into the room. “What’s wrong?” She put aside her sewing and started to her feet.

“Grandfather is okay.”

“Then who?”

“Me. I am such an idiot.” She went to the window and looked out at the new buildings across the street—the schoolhouse, the doctor’s house and office, the new barber shop and lawyer’s office—all replacements for those destroyed by the fire.

“I believed Hugh when he said he’d give me four weeks to prove I was suitable.

” She gave a mirthless laugh. “I’d be perfect I said.

Now, with time left in our agreement, he has an older woman over there.

I’m sure he’ll think she’s ideal.” She spun from the window and walked the length and breadth of the room as she talked.

“She’s older. Plain. And I venture a guess that some time ago, she forgot how to smile. ”

“And you think that makes her ideal?”

Annie ignored the amusement in her aunt’s voice. “I don’t. But he will. You know how foolish and stubborn men can be.”

“I’ve always found Hugh to be both wise and amiable.”

“Maybe when you meet him in public. He’s sure not been that way with me.” Enjoyable. Patient. Kissable. Huh. Guess the kisses meant nothing.

“What is it you want?” Aunt Mary’s gentle voice eased the anger raging through Annie’s veins.

“I want him to honor our agreement. Four weeks.”

“And then what?”

“Marriage. Just like we discussed.”

“What sort of marriage are you talking about?”

Annie drew to a halt before the window. “A marriage in name only.” She could hardly get the words off her tongue and knew her warm cheeks revealed far more than she cared for her aunt to know.

“I see. Is that what Hugh wants?”

“It was his idea.”

“Perhaps it is easier to consider that sort of arrangement with an older, plain, unsmiling woman.”

Annie stared at her aunt. “You agree with Hugh? What sort of marriage is that?” The words her brothers had spoken echoed through her head.

There is only one reason to marry...if you love the person so much it hurts to imagine a day without him.

They were wrong. There were other reasons to marry.

Providing a home for a child was one of them.

“What about Evan? Is that what he deserves?”

“I have a different question. What about you? Is that kind of marriage what you deserve?”

Annie spun away. “It’s what I want.”

“Is it?” Her aunt’s quiet question blasted through her.

“Yes!” She almost shouted the word.

“Annie, dear child, you have been looking for something since your mama died. And now you are running from the very thing you want.”

“I wasn’t running when I was with Rudy.” She’d wanted so much for Rudy to give her the love and security she’d known as a child.

“Rudy was not the man for you. Too weak.”

“I’m not looking for a man to give me what I need.”

“Nor should you. It’s not fair to expect a man to give you what only God can give.”

“I know that.” Annie’s insides burned as she recalled the verse Hugh had quoted Sunday morning.

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.

“You’re right. I’ve been looking for security in all the wrong places.

I won’t find it with someone else.” Her heart rent in two as she mentally walked away from Hugh.

What would happen to Evan? “I don’t need marriage.

I don’t need anything.” She could go back to the ranch where she would always be welcome, but she didn’t belong there.

“There must be somewhere I belong, where I can take care of myself.”

“Annie, I believe God has prepared such a place for you. Just be careful you don’t walk away from what He has offered.

There’s a verse in Revelation chapter three that I’d like you to look up and read.

In part, it says, ‘Behold, I have set before thee an open door.’ Be sure you don’t walk away from His open door, or close it in fear. ”

“Fear? I’m not afraid.” Even as she said the words, she knew she was. Afraid of loss of security, loss of home, loss of anything. “Sometimes it’s hard to trust.”

“I can’t argue with that. Would you care for a cup of tea?”

“No, I need to get back. I’ll have to pack and arrange for Grandfather and me to return home.” She chuckled softly. “I think he quite liked living in town. Several people have stopped to visit him and he doesn’t have to go out in the cold longer than it takes to walk to the church on Sundays.”

“He’s capable of living wherever God places him. Just as you are.” Aunt Mary rose and kissed Annie on the cheek before Annie left the room.