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“You aren’t being honest with yourselves.” He thumped back to his chair.
Sadie studied her with knowing eyes. “What aren’t you being honest about?”
Annie shook her head. “I have no idea what he means.”
Grandfather harrumphed. “She’s probably telling the truth. More’s the pity. I never thought I’d see the day a Marshall couldn’t see what was as plain as the nose on their face.”
Sadie chuckled. “So that’s the way it is.”
Annie’s cheeks burned, and she turned away, preparing tea and cookies. She was pleased when Evan sat at the table with them. And grateful that the topic of her marrying Hugh had been dropped though Sadie wore a funny little grin when she looked at Grandfather.
Hugh sat with his head in the palms of his hands. He had a sermon to prepare but his thoughts wandered willfully. Annie wanted to go out. He could hardly forbid it. Was she already feeling trapped by the confines of his house, his life...him?
He heard the outside door open and close and assumed she’d left until he heard talking. He strained to hear who it was and recognized Sadie’s voice. Perhaps a visit from Annie’s sister-in-law would make her feel less like running.
Running? Is that what he expected of her? He sat back and stared at the far wall. Annie wasn’t the running type. She was the sticking type. He didn’t want her to be stuck. Wasn’t that what happened to his mother? And it sucked the life right out of her.
No. He did not want that for Annie. He would not like to see her spirit quenched, which left him right back where they’d started. He needed someone older, someone with less zest for life who would be satisfied with what he had to offer...a marriage in name only.
He jerked forward. He had not made that clear to Annie. Was she expecting a real marriage, even if a loveless one?
How was he to clear up that notion?
And he must. At his earliest opportunity.
Just as he must prepare a sermon to deliver in two days and he bent his head over the scriptures seeking guidance as to what he should say.
Lord, show me Your truth from Your word.
His gaze fell to the passage before him.
Ephesians chapter five. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
The words flashed like a beacon. Did he love himself?
That seemed selfish, even evil. And yet it was in God’s word.
He closed his Bible. He could not preach a sermon based on this verse because he didn’t believe it.
His heart twisted and turned and he called out to God for forgiveness as he acknowledged his lack of faith.
God loved him. He didn’t doubt that. But his mother hadn’t.
Nor had his wife. In his mind, had he let that make him think himself unlovable?
Except for God. Could he love another human besides his son?
That was a good place to start, and he smiled.
Thank you, God, for the gift of my son and the love I have for him.
And for Annie.
Those were not his thoughts. Yes, he was grateful for Annie, but he didn’t love her. He would not let himself.
He compelled his mind back to sermon preparation. He knew he had a reputation for delivering the truth in a forceful way, but what truth could he deliver when he couldn’t find it for himself?
Christmas. God sent His Son. He could speak truth from those thoughts having almost lost his son.
By the time Annie knocked to announce supper, he felt he had a sermon he could deliver.
And a truth he must make plain to Annie.
He waited until Evan was in bed and Grandfather had gone to his room then joined Annie in the living room before the fire.
She began to speak before he could. “Poor Sadie. Logan wasn’t able to get home before the storm broke, and she sat through it not knowing if he was safe or not. I almost feel guilty because we had such a pleasant time.”
He knew he should interrupt her and tell her what marriage to him would involve, but she faced him, her eyes alive with joy.
“Mama used to say that counting one’s blessings was the surest way to happiness, and I’ve been thinking of all mine.
” She held up her fingers and ticked them off one by one.
“My family was kept safe throughout the storm. For my family, of course and especially sisters-in-law. Now I’m not the only female adult in the family.
And all my nieces and nephews. There’s something very special about being an aunt.
I can play with the kids and tell them stories and enjoy them without the same worry. ”
He wanted to know if she worried about Evan, but he would ask her later after she’d done counting off her blessings.
“For Grandfather’s health. He seems much better today.
I suppose it was the stormy weather that had him feeling poorly.
Then there’s Evan. He’s such a sweet boy, and to see him becoming more normal every day is such a joy.
And Happy. He’s done a lot to help Evan.
” She bounced about so she faced him more fully. “I have saved the best for last.”
He hardly dared to breathe. Was she about to mention him as the best? His chest hurt with anticipation.
“Hugh, you’ll never guess what happened.”
He managed to shake his head.
“When Jeannie was here, she picked up the book I read from for Evan’s bedtime stories. And Evan marched to her side, took the book, and said, Mine.”
Annie beamed.
It took Hugh several seconds to take in the meaning of her words. “He spoke?”
She nodded. “He can talk.” She sniffed and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.” The words were strangled. Tears dribbled down her cheeks.
He tried to think what to do. His heart, not his head, guided his actions, and he pulled her to his chest. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” His throat tightened until he could hardly get his words out. “I’m thrilled to know he can talk.”
“Me too.” She leaned back to look up at him. “These are happy tears.”
“Oh. Good.” He pulled a clean handkerchief out of his pocket and gently dried her cheeks and wiped the silvery drops from her lashes.
She watched him, her eyes dark and full of promise.
His fingers trailed down her cheek and lingered on her chin.
“You have made such a difference in Evan’s life.
” He lost himself in the depths of her look.
He couldn’t say who made the first move, but, again guided by his heart, he lowered his head and claimed her lips, tasting the sweetness of dessert and the anticipation of better things to come.
He pulled back. “Thank you.” Let her decide if he meant for helping Evan or for the kiss. If she asked, he wouldn’t have been able to answer.
They sat side by side, his arm about her shoulders and stared into the fire. The dancing flames mesmerized him, so he couldn’t think.
The logs burned down. She sighed. “It’s time for bed.” She got to her feet. “Good night. Sleep well.”
It wasn’t until she had gone into her bedroom that he realized he’d neglected to say the words he’d planned.
What had he meant to tell her? He vaguely recalled, but why did it seem unimportant now?
Table of Contents
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- Page 31 (Reading here)
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