Page 33
And more. It made her want to share more special moments with Hugh and Evan. It made her long to feel a part of their future. Of course, once she and Hugh married, she would be a permanent part of this family. That wasn’t what she meant, and she wasn’t about to examine what more she wanted.
Even the thought of marriage to him no longer felt like a practical arrangement, and her cheeks burned as she thought of kissing him again and having the right to do so whenever she felt like it.
Her imagination was getting out of hand.
After supper, she retreated to her room when Hugh took Evan to bed. She did not want to sit before the fire with him.
Not with her wayward thoughts.
Hugh seemed distracted the next morning, which left Annie able to keep her mind from going in unwanted directions. He had little to say over breakfast and then went to his room to change.
“What do you think about taking Evan to church this morning?” he asked when he returned.
She shook her head. “I don’t know if he’s ready.”
“I expect you’re right.” He turned to Grandfather. “I’ll be back to get you after the church is warmed up.” He touched Evan on the head and, with a quick smile for Annie, departed.
She wandered about the rooms that she’d dusted thoroughly yesterday, pausing to adjust the position of a book on the living room shelf, repositioning the heavy green drapes at the front window.
As she’d worked yesterday, she wondered how much changing she would be allowed to do after she became Mrs. Arness.
She hugged herself and stared out the window.
Was there any reason to delay discussing making their arrangement permanent?
She tried not to think of what Mrs. Shearer had said about her maiden sister coming to visit.
Annie knew the woman would be totally unsuitable.
After all, Mrs. Shearer was known to have a harsh, critical tongue.
Her shoulders sank. It wasn’t fair to judge the poor woman by her sister’s behavior.
Hugh came in and hurried to Grandfather’s side. Only when he turned did he see Annie at the window. “You’ll be okay?”
It pleasured her that he cared to ask. “Yes, of course.”
“I’ll see you after the service then.”
She nodded and watched until they were out of sight.
Evan came from the kitchen and pressed to her side. “It’s just you and me.” A needless observation, but the place felt empty.
Evan nodded and stared at the window.
If only she could read his little mind. However, she couldn’t. Sighing softly, she faced the room. What was she to do? The sound of a wagon drew her attention back to the window, and she watched families arriving by wagon or buggy and cowboys riding up on their horses.
She felt very alone.
She ached to see her friends and family.
To take part in the singing. To hear Hugh.
She eyed Evan. If they slipped in late and left before the final benediction, would he be okay?
She knelt before him. “Evan, I would like to go to church. I’d like to hear your papa preach.
I know you’re afraid of all those strangers, but would you go if we didn’t stop to talk to any of them? ”
He studied her for several seconds, his dark, studious gaze so reminiscent of Hugh’s that she wanted to hug him. One of these days soon, she would risk it for his sake as well as hers.
He nodded.
“Wonderful. Let’s get ready.” She brushed his hair, smoothed her own, and got them both into their coats.
Hand in hand, his grasp tight, they followed in Hugh and Grandfather’s footsteps. The congregation was standing and singing when she slipped into the vestibule. A couple of people turned and smiled at her, but most didn’t notice their entrance. She edged into the back pew, Evan pressed to her side.
Hugh saw her. Their eyes connected over the distance, but it was too far for her to be able to tell what he thought. His smile flashed, and then he turned his gaze back to the others.
“Please be seated,” he said. He paused, and Annie held her breath. Did he have an important, earth-shattering announcement to make? She gripped the edge of the pew with her hands.
He continued. “I struggled to know what I should talk about today,” he said.
Annie realized they’d arrived at the end of the song service. Perhaps for the best. She could hear the sermon then slip away before Evan got restless. What was she thinking? The boy could sit immobile by the hour. It was not something she thought was an asset.
Hugh continued. “As you all no doubt know by now, I have found my son. Praise God for that. He is so precious to me. I will never let him go. It made me realize just a fraction of how much God gave in sending His Son to earth. And then I realized something. It was wrong to live in fear.” He looked at the congregation.
His gaze lit on Annie. It was as if there were only the two of them.
“It is wrong for me to fear losing him. I need to trust God to protect him. It is wrong of me to fear making a mistake. Fear is not trust.” His gaze had swept the audience and returned to her. “‘Perfect love casts out fear.’”
The silence in her head thundered. Perfect love. Fear cast out. She didn’t know if it was possible. Even if it was, was she prepared to trust like that?
“Let me read a passage from Jeremiah chapter seventeen. ‘Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.’”
She realized he’d announced the final hymn, and she practically dragged Evan from the church, stumbling in her haste to reach the manse. Or was it because her eyes were clouded with tears that she couldn’t see the ground and find safe footing?
Why did her heart reach for something his words promised when she couldn’t even say what it was?
As they stepped into the house, she swiped at her tears and helped Evan out of his coat.
She had herself firmly in control when Grandfather returned on Dawson’s arm.
“Annie,” Dawson said. “We’d like you to come out to the ranch for dinner. Grandfather has already said he’d come.” Dawson’s voice didn’t suggest an invitation so much as an order.
She bristled, though she would not let him see it. When would her brothers ever realize she didn’t need to be looked after?
Dawson waited, his expression stubborn.
A sigh rushed up her throat and she somehow managed to keep it inside. If he’d asked nicely, she would have gladly agreed except for one thing.
She glanced at Evan.
Dawson followed her gaze. “Hugh and the boy, too, of course.”
“I don’t know. He’s not been out much yet.”
She wanted to say yes. She wanted to go home and be surrounded by her large loving family.
Most of all, she wanted to talk to her mother.
A pain as sharp as a knife stab grabbed her stomach, and she barely stifled a moan.
She had no mother to turn to. Nor even a father.
Yes, she could talk to any of the others, but still she felt the absence of her parents.
“I’ll have to ask Hugh.”
Dawson nodded. “You can come with or without him.” He made it sound like an ultimatum, and she was about to object when someone knocked, and Annie opened the door to admit Isabelle and Mattie.
“Oh, I see Dawson is here,” Isabelle stated. She gave him a look Annie could only describe as a warning.
Before she could say anything, Kate and Conner and baby Ellie appeared behind them. Annie stepped aside to allow them to enter, then stuck her head out to look one way and then the other. “This is turning into a family reunion. Where’re Logan and Sadie and their crew?”
Conner barely made it into the house before he spoke. “We want you to come to the ranch for dinner. How long will it take you to get ready?”
Annie’s hackles rose at the way Conner issued the order.
Conner and Dawson looked at each other in complete agreement. No doubt they’d discussed this thoroughly before coming to town.
She jammed her fists on her hips. “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?
You decided if you all came, you could talk me into doing what you wanted.
Or should I say you thought you could order me to do your will.
” She glanced over her shoulder. “I’m guessing Logan refused to join you in bullying me. ”
Dawson chucked her under the chin just as he had when she was four years old.
She couldn’t decide whether to laugh or scream.
Hugh stepped into the house at that moment. He studied her and saw that she faced her two brothers, and his eyebrows rose. “I recall your Grandfather telling me that when she got a bee in her bonnet, he just stood back and waited for her to get past it.”
Her brothers had the gall to laugh.
She scowled at her brothers, spared a narrowed-eyed look at Hugh, then spun to face Grandfather. “Are you suggesting that people should simply humor me?”
He gave her a tender smile that melted every ounce of her annoyance.
“Annie Bell, you are so much like your grandmother. She had lots of spit and vinegar, too. It’s a good thing, and I would never suggest otherwise.
You would not have survived these big brutes of brothers without it.
” Grandfather glowered at his grandsons.
“Annie is doing quite well at running her life without any help from you. Now extend a nice invitation or leave.”
Hugh had stepped inside in time to hear Annie standing up to her brothers. The sight of her indignation amused him. It also put him in awe of her. Like her grandfather said, a woman with spit and vinegar. And she could be his.
For how long? The warning would not be silenced.
Dawson rolled his shoulders. “Annie, Hugh, and Evan, would you please come to the ranch for dinner? Both Isabelle and Kate have made a nice meal.”
Annie gave each of her brothers a look of stubborn consideration before she turned to Hugh. “I won’t go unless you do.”
Table of Contents
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- Page 33 (Reading here)
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