Page 12 of Monster’s Redemption (Monsters in the Mountains #9)

Blythe

I was getting frustrated.

Every day was a repeat of the first, where we walked all day until I was ready to drop by the time we stopped for the night. I could barely stay awake long enough to eat, sometimes having to be awakened for even that, much less have the energy to get anywhere with my plans of persuasion. I wasn’t even waking at night the way I had before, falling asleep as soon as I was horizontal and not waking again until Fin’hir woke me to eat again before leaving. It was so bad he’d actually gotten good at cooking whatever he caught for me since I couldn’t focus enough to do it myself.

I was going to have to do something drastic. He’d said his clan wasn’t too far away, but we’d already been travelling for a handful of days. While I was beginning to feel like we’d never stop walking, I didn’t want to waste anymore time and risk getting there before I knew how he felt.

Because if I was wrong, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

I’d decided I wasn’t going back to my village, I’d rather let them think I was dead or kidnapped, and I wasn’t going to go to another village either because I wasn’t sure I’d ever not see Dicean in a human alpha. If Fin’hir rejected me my heart would be torn apart again, and I didn’t think I had the strength to lose another alpha I’d grown attached to.

“We can rest here for a while, then maybe if I carry you we could reach the clan tonight.”

My lung froze and my head snapped up, eyes focusing on his dark shape ahead of me. I hadn’t realized he’d stopped walking since I’d been picking my way across a stream too wide to jump, but I had figured he’d call a break soon since it was already past midday. Still, I wasn’t prepared for him to say I was already out of time.

“No.”

His gaze swung to me, one brow lifted.

“What?”

“I, uhm… I don’t want to get there exhausted after a long day walking. First impressions are important. Could we maybe stop early, so I can bathe and get some extra sleep, then we can finish the trek tomorrow? It’s rude to arrive at dinnertime unannounced anyway, and I’d like to see your home in the daylight when we arrive.”

I was scrambling to find something to convince him. I wasn’t sure it had worked until his head tipped and he looked at the position of the sun.

“There aren’t any caves between here and there. We’d have to sleep in the open.”

It wouldn’t be the first time on our trip that there hadn’t been a convenient cave nearby to sleep in, but with him, I wasn’t worried about anything getting us during the night. The weather was finally getting warm enough that even the nights were only a little chilly, so as long as it wasn’t going to rain, it would be worth it.

“That’s fine. The fresh air is nice.”

Pasting on a smile, I held my breath, but I shouldn’t have worried. Fin’hir had never denied me, and it didn’t look like he was going to start.

Which was a relief with the idea that suddenly popped into my head. I might die of embarrassment if I was wrong about his attraction to me.

“Okay. We can finish the trip tomorrow. If you want to bathe, there is a river a little farther ahead. We can camp once we cross it, so you have plenty of time to rest.”

My shoulders sank as I sighed, but my relief was short-lived. Buying myself time was only part of the problem, I still had to make sure he knew how I felt.

And hope he felt the same.

The walk to the river felt like it passed in a blink. I heard the water before I saw it, and when it came into view, it was breathtaking. My little village was positioned beside a small lake that was fed by multiple streams from the mountains that dried up during summer, and this river was almost wider than parts of that lake.

“How am I supposed to cross that?”

The water had enough ripples across the surface to make me think the current was faster than the gentle burble it made seemed, and I was willing to bet the middle was deep enough I’d be up to my chest in water. The day had been on the warmer side, but I still didn’t relish the thought of having wet clothing at nightfall.

Being chilled to the bone would distract me from what I wanted.

“I’ll carry you.”

He’d offered to carry me during our trip, and while I felt bad to be slowing him down, I’d insisted on walking. I didn’t want him to waste his energy lugging me around when I had two working feet. He was already carrying all our bedding and did all the hunting, the least I could do was walk, although it was to the point where my shoes sorely needed replaced.

But for this…

A shiver ran down my spine as I looked at the water. This wasn’t the sun-warmed lake I washed wool in and had swam in as a kid. This was runoff, still cold enough to make my teeth chatter if I was to dunk myself in it.

And being snuggled against his chest as he carried me might be a nice opening to the evening.

Nodding, I looked up and met his golden eyes. There was concern clouding them, as if he’d expected me to argue, and I couldn’t help smiling.

“Okay. If it won’t put you at risk of falling.”

One brow barely arched as the lines between his eyes smoothed away. His lip twitched like he wanted to smile back but wouldn’t let himself.

“Hardly.”

Alphas were going to be alphas, no matter the species.

He slipped off the pack, handing it to me. The bundle of furs was more bulky than heavy, but getting it situated distracted me enough that I didn’t see him lean down to swoop me into his arms.

The yell I let out started nearby birds into flight, their cries mocking me as I shoved the pack out of the way to glare at Fin’hir.

“A warning would have been nice.”

One shoulder lifted, rocking me as he moved towards the edge of the river.

“I thought you were ready.”

He may have been able to keep his amusement off his face, but he couldn’t keep it from his voice.

“Well, I think you wanted to make me scream.”

I hadn’t thought about the words before I said them, but the way he focused on me and the heat in his eyes sent another shiver through me for a completely different reason. I had to fight not to squeeze my thighs together, but the way his nostrils flared told me he could smell the way I responded.

Disappointment flooded through me when he turned his attention back to the river without saying anything, but I tried not to let it get me down. He was moving deeper into the water and needed to focus, and I wasn’t sure what he could have said anyway. He’d never openly admitted to any attraction even if his body showed it, and I doubted he would be like some of the males in my village who made inappropriate remarks whenever given the opportunity.

Trying not to think about it, I turned my head to gauge where we were in the river, then wished I hadn’t. Fin’hir was so massive it hadn’t crossed my mind that the river might be too deep for him, but the water was a lot closer than I’d expected it to be. I could have reached down and put my hand in it.

“Are we going to make it?”

My fear must have shown because Fin’hir immediately started to purr, the gentle vibration soaking straight into me from his chest.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. It’s higher than when I first crossed it, but we’re almost past the deepest point.”

I watched as the water crept closer, but his purr kept my anxiety from rising with it. I still worried my rump and feet were going to get wet since they hung lower than the rest of me, but as Fin’hir forged on, he lifted me higher. His chin was almost in my lap, his horns bumping the shoulder and knee closest to him.

My fingers tightened in his fur when he seemed to wobble. The water had to be up to his belly, and I’d heard of people getting swept away by currents in streams and creeks much smaller than this.

“Almost there, little human. We’re fine.”

I wanted to believe him, I trusted him, but my heart still beat a rapid rhythm behind my ribs until we reached the opposite bank. I didn’t even complain when he didn’t set me down at the edge, instead carrying me until we were amongst the trees with only the sound of the river reminding me it was still there.

“Why don’t you wait here, and I’ll check for a place to camp. Then I can hunt while you bathe.”

It was our routine for him to take me to the stream where we’d been and then leave to hunt so I had privacy, and the gentle reminder was enough to shake me out of the funk I’d fallen into so I could release his fur and let him put me down.

“Okay.”

While I was still leery of the river, I was caked in layers of sweat and dirt from walking for days, and I wanted to wash it off.

A small part of me also needed to go back and see the river again to be sure it was as big as it had seemed only moments before. I was going to feel foolish if it was really only a large stream.

While Fin’hir went to search the area around us, I began looking for any edible plants. The monster rarely ate anything I found even though I always offered, and I was still determined to find something he enjoyed. I had a feeling if I could cook some of them better than just warming them in the coals of the fire he would like them more, and I was looking forward to hopefully having access to a knife and pot.

It took him longer than usual, but the sun was high, and I stayed busy hunting mushrooms and strawberries. There were ramps along the river that we’d passed, and I planned to grab them when I went down to wash. I didn’t know what would be available near his home, but knowing other humans lived there meant there were likely edibles nearby.

I was just beginning to grow worried when I heard rustling moving towards me. Fin’hir was usually silent unless he purposely made noise for me, so for a moment I thought it might be a wild animal, but it didn’t take long for his massive form to appear with a deer leg slung over his shoulder.

No matter how many times I compared us, it was still hard to believe how much bigger he was. It was the back leg of the deer, enough to feed an entire family, yet it’s thickest part looked smaller than the arm holding it in place on his shoulder.

And despite the assurance that there were other monsters mated to humans like me, it still made me concerned about the size of other parts of him.

Well, parts of me weren’t concerned. My lower lips were wet with slick I hoped he couldn’t scent over the meat slung so close to his face.

“Looks like hunting went well.”

“The herds are doing good this year. This doe was past her prime and hadn’t bred, so she won’t be missed. I found us a campsite too. Come.”

The way he spoke of the animals he hunted always intrigued me. We’d had many conversations about proper husbandry, and it was surprising how much he cared for the forest as a whole. It was something I thought humans needed to learn.

My core clenched, reminding me of the direction my thoughts had gone. He didn’t mean the last command the way my body wanted him to.

He had left the pack with me when he went off to hunt and I’d hung it off the front of my shoulders, creating a little space for me to stuff my food as long as I was careful to hold the bottom against me, so it didn’t slip out. Between focusing on that and my footing, I couldn’t look around as I followed him, but the sounds of the river faded.

I worried he was moving us farther away and I’d have to trek back for my bath and the ramps, until I looked up and realized he’d actually brought us to the water’s edge, but in an area where the river was shallow enough that the gentle lapping against the shore was almost silent. Lush grass spread from the bank to the edges of a weeping willow, it’s branches hanging down to create a dense curtain to hide its trunk.

“This is beautiful.”

I looked up at Fin’hir, but he ducked his head and looked away.

“It’ll make a good place to camp, but we’ll have to make the fire out here.”

He was always careful of our fires, making sure they were in a place that didn’t risk the trees and that they were completely out before we moved on. It was another thing that showed how much he cared, even when he tried to appear tough.

I found myself smiling, and when he finally turned back to look at me, he raised a brow. Shrugging, a little laugh escaped before I turned my attention to finding a place to set my berries and mushrooms. My heart fluttered like a bird in my chest, and it was hard to ignore the thought that this was how I used to feel with Ricarie.

My love for my intended had grown as we did, developing from our friendship as children. It had been an old, comfortable thing that I had never questioned. We had explored each other in stages, slowly building towards the intimacy I’d looked forward to when my heat had grown close.

But with Fin’hir, it came on faster. There were things we didn’t know about each other, things still to be explored, and the excitement and uncertainty made everything seem more intense.

And maybe I didn’t love him yet, but the possibility was there. He had a gentle soul, even if his appearance was scary. The thought of being bound to him for life didn’t make me want to wither away like it had with Dicean.

He was my hope.

Hope for a future that wasn’t full of pain and nightmares.

I just had to see if he was willing to take me as I was and give us a chance.