Page 28 of Miss Hawthorne’s Unlikely Husband (The Troublemakers Trilogy #3)

That first touch of her hand had been the proof.

He wasn’t an amusement, a novelty or a conquest to Elodia.

She loved him. Enough to walk away and hold herself apart even when it was painful.

Enough to take his side even when it wasn’t what she wanted.

It made him want to tear apart anyone who made her cry.

It made him want to prove himself worthy of it not only to her but to the world.

More than any of that, it was eating away at the old forgotten walls around his heart until it was left raw, exposed and eager to return her love as boldly as she had declared herself.

But the moment he did that, he would have taken a position he couldn’t back down from.

A position he knew better than to take. He understood better than Elodia what the risks were of their union.

It seemed so simple to go to her. Too simple.

As if he was setting them both up for something that would cost too much.

No one had mentioned the previous night to him as yet, which was suspicious in the extreme, but he had a feeling that his luck there was about to run out.

Lady Starkley was watching him quietly with her cup of tea and had been ever since they retired to the sitting room at Starkley House. He should have known that the invitation to dinner was a trap.

“Is there something you need from me, my lady?” he asked.

“Not at all. I’ve been meaning to thank you for what you did for Ellie. It was lucky that you found her. She must have gotten far from the house.”

“Not exactly, but drunk people can be unpredictable.”

“I shall take your word for it,” she replied, her mouth curving in a ghost of a smug smile.

“Do you know what upset her?” Leo asked.

“No,” he replied evenly, before turning to Leo’s wife. “Lady Starkley?”

She was smiling fully now. “No.”

She was lying, he would bet anything on it, but he didn’t have a way to prove it. She just sat there staring at him with that secret smile that somehow seemed like a threat.

“What?”

“Did I say something?” she asked.

“You know, the longer you are married to him,” he gestured to Leo, “The more tiresome you are growing. If you have something to say, which you clearly do, then bloody well spit it out.”

She shook with silent laughter that she hid behind her hand and then nodded. “Very well. I was merely curious as to whether you knew you were in love or not.”

There was a cough from beside her, and Richard glanced at Leo who was covering his mouth with his fist. “Was that a question?”

“Which part?” she asked.

“All of it.”

She tilted her head and blinked as if she was looking at a foolish but amusing child. “Elodia has always been special to you.”

“Because she is Ada’s friend. She’s been with her through hell.”

That blasted smile grew wider. “I beg your pardon, Mr. Thornfield, but I am also Ada’s friend.

We have supported and loved each other as a triumvirate of sorts since girlhood.

But you have never treated me as you treated Ellie.

The fact that you insist on calling me by my title instead of my name is proof enough of that. ”

Why did it seem as though she was scolding him?

Had she really felt that he had deliberately kept her at arm’s length unlike the rest of their circle?

She was the wife of his good friend, in theory as familiar to him as Elodia was, but it was impossible to deny that he felt closer to Elodia than she.

He could barely remember to address Elodia as ‘Miss Hawthorne’.

However, while everyone else, including Basil, seemed able to call Leo’s wife by her Christian name, or ‘Gigi’, to his mind she was either ‘Leo’s wife’ or ‘Lady Starkley’.

“Not that I needed you to, because I never regarded you as Ellie did. I will not pretend you have been cruel or apathetic towards me—”

“I’ll thank you for that,” he grumbled.

“—but she has always been of special regard. Why is that?”

He’d never felt the need to bring her closer to himself, although he’d never disliked her at all.

He didn’t enjoy feeling like a cad, but he positively despised feeling like a fool.

He’d been puzzling over his feelings for Elodia and was no closer to an answer.

Perhaps, the good lady had a perspective he could use. “I don’t know.”

Leo let out a low whistle. “Well, that’s further than I’ve gotten. He’s not denying it anymore, at least.”

“I will not pretend that I felt this way when you all were girls. But why did I treat her differently? I suppose I liked that she was a fighter.”

“Gigi fights,” Leo began, but his wife shook her head.

“Ellie is a brawler. I duel. It’s different.”

Yes. That had been the beginning. Over and over again, he’d seen something he prized blatantly displayed in Elodia.

That unapologetic need to protect the ones they loved and to hell with the consequences, either with words or by drawing first blood.

That indefatigable determination to take up space and make demands.

Lady Starkley, by contrast, had always struck him as more careful, safer, always considering the cost over the principle.

And perhaps, as a result, he hadn’t trusted her as much as instinctively as he had Elodia.

He’d seen her as too aligned with the people her family had been so desperate for her to join.

“I suppose in that way I saw myself in Miss Hawthorne.”

“That makes sense, you always were a scrapper.”

“Is he?” She turned to Richard with surprise. “Are you?”

Richard met her eyes and tilted his head. “Shocked?”

Leo shook his head ruefully. “Richard was always fighting someone. Then he got smarter about it thanks to me, so he wasn’t in trouble all the bloody time.”

Her head swiveled back and forth between her husband and him, still unable to believe what she was hearing. “Goodness.”

“He nearly got kicked out of Eton and Cambridge,” Leo added with a grin, and Richard gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

“You see, my lady, I never receive the option of peace until they understand what a fight with me costs. That reality has been ubiquitous throughout my life, even among my supposed family. My own uncle thought nothing of having me kidnapped and murdered to take what he wanted from me.”

“Your uncle?” She seemed surprised. Apparently, Leo had kept that particular tidbit to himself. He always had been the pinnacle of discretion. “You mean Mr. Trent was—”

“Oh yes.” His smile lacked any humor.

“How is that paragon?” Leo asked.

“Quiet for now. I’ve put him on notice.”

“You’ve tolerated him far longer than I would have,” Leo mumbled.

“I don’t want to crush him. I want him to either accept me or leave me alone. But I’m prepared for either outcome.” He returned his attention to Regina. “Have I astonished you?”

She shook her head. “I don’t judge you for being a fighter. I just can’t really picture it.”

He gave her a thin smile. “Neither can they.”

She choked on her sip of tea before snickering behind her hand.

“They get a good enough view from the ground, though,” Leo said with a smirk, and her snicker grew into a full bellied laugh. Not for the first time, he was struck by how similar Leo and his wife were.

“Perhaps I’ve been unfair to you, Regina,” Richard said.

“I’m sure you’ve had your reasons. But I am glad to be on better terms with you.”

He raised his glass to her and took a sip of his scotch.

“At the risk of endangering our new camaraderie, are you going to fight for Ellie?”

“Or are you going to be ‘a special type of jackass’, if you don’t mind me borrowing your own words.”

The asshole must have waited over a year to use that against him. As annoying as it was, Richard couldn’t help but tip his hat by way of a smile.

It was a fair question. A year ago, comfortably on the other side of the fence, it was clear to see why Leo should have taken the title and declared himself to Regina. Especially when the two of them had clear interest and affection for each other.

Two nights ago it made sense for him to hold back, but now, in the cold light of day, he couldn’t remember why he kept insisting on pulling back.

It would be so easy to go to her and confess himself.

She was in love with him after all, and it was useless to pretend he didn’t feel the same way.

That night she’d fallen asleep in his arms, he had been left nearly sick with longing.

His father’s pocket watch, that precious object she had retrieved and protected for him when he couldn’t, had never felt heavier in his pocket.

Every time he saw it, he was reminded of her kindness and her consideration. Of her silent unwavering devotion.

She was everything he’d been afraid to want.

A woman of intelligence and refinement who saw him and loved him as he was.

Someone who respected him as a man and cherished him as a human being.

All he had to do was tell her that he returned her feelings and that beautiful sacred creature would throw away her place in society to stand beside him in defiance of every expectation of the ton or ambition of her father.

He would spend the rest of his life with her hand in his, keeping that precious light in her eyes.

Was it that simple?

His heart was pounding so hard it was uncomfortable, and his mouth was arid.

He took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over his chest. The idea of reaching for her, of potentially being that happy, was terrifying.

But he didn’t think he could spend the rest of his life watching her from across the room.

It was selfish to allow her to diminish herself for his sake.

No doubt others would see him as the definition of the opportunistic tradesman, taking what he had no right to.

They would be an example of what every noble parent feared for their daughters.

But he didn’t see why he had to starve himself to their benefit when he was only a step away from her.

When he would defy anyone, even God himself, to love her as much as he did and would.

He would fight, even if he was sick with terror at the prospect of losing her. He would fight for her as she had done and would continue to do for him. And if anyone got in the way, they would deal with them together.