Page 13 of Miss Hawthorne’s Unlikely Husband (The Troublemakers Trilogy #3)

Melbroke House, Mayfair, London

A fter her botched confession, Elodia spent the following days trying to think of a way to avoid setting foot outside the house for the rest of the season.

Every time she thought about Richard, her eyes filled with tears, so she’d decided to simply stay away from him and anyone who could notice such a thing.

Avoiding her father and Isolde had been difficult, but in the end she managed to make enough of an appearance to avoid too much commentary.

Sad literary choices had never been more useful.

It had worked until today, the day of the christening for Ada and Basil’s children.

She couldn’t bring Russian literature to the church.

When she’d agreed to be godmother to Eleanor, she hadn’t anticipated this nightmare of a situation with Richard.

As it was, she’d given her word and there was no way she would back out of it.

It would be a poor showing as a friend, so to say nothing of the inquisition she would be subjected to by both Ada and Regina.

So after nearly a week at home, lingering in her room as much as possible, Elodia rose early that Wednesday, took a bath and instructed Béa to put out her green and blue shot dupioni silk dress.

Béa had questions but she did as she was bid without an inquisition, which was new for her.

The tall, dark-skinned woman was around Isolde’s age, with deft fingers and a strong body.

Her needlework and skill with braids were incomparable but Elodia had no doubt she could also see a man off with a cutlass in short order.

She had been Elodia’s lady’s maid since she had lived in Trinidad, and mercifully had agreed to accompany her when she came to England with her father.

In many ways she was more like an older sister to Elodia than a servant, in turns chiding her and encouraging her as she grew into adulthood.

Béa wove Elodia’s long curls into braids and twisted them into a crown secured by pearled combs.

Then Elodia pulled on her kid gloves and followed her father and Isolde into the carriage.

If they noticed anything was wrong, they didn’t say anything to her and she was grateful for it.

It was all she could do to keep her head up and her eyes dry.

She saw him the moment she entered the church.

The very instant. He wore a deep blue velvet coat and buff trousers, a picture of elegance.

His pale blue waistcoat was embroidered with white cranes and flowers.

Even now their clothing matched as if they had planned it.

As if it was fated when it was anything but.

She glimpsed the chain under his jacket.

Was he wearing his father’s pocket watch?

Did she have the right to know? It had to be some kind of a curse, this feeling in her chest. The knowledge that someone who meant so much to her saw her as tangential, no better than an acquaintance, was more painful than anything else.

For this morning her marching orders were simple enough.

The focus was Eleanor. She would be the perfect gracious guest. She smiled and conversed with whoever was near her, doted on her goddaughter.

When the priest gave the blessing to the children, Regina held Thomas and Elodia held Eleanor, focusing all her attention on the cooing baby in her arms and not the man standing behind her, just close enough to tease her with the warmth of his body.

If any tears escaped her, she pretended it was happiness at the event.

She did not look at Richard Thornfield outside of what was considered polite.

She did not cry or encourage conversation between them.

Even at the reception at his house afterwards, she kept her distance, played the piano when asked and drank her tea.

No matter the cost, she would not make their acquaintance any more awkward than it needed to be.

It was, however, easier said than done. Every time he spoke, her ear picked up his voice by force of habit.

She was constantly aware of where he was, what he was doing.

There would be no way to avoid him, however, not here or in the future.

Her only choice was to battle her way through and minimize the scars left.

She needed to maintain her dignity, whatever that meant.

Right now it meant participating in the marriage mart even if her heart was shattered.

She would finish this season, and if her father married before she found a man of her own, she would ask him to help her set up a living elsewhere.

Maybe her husband would be willing to establish their living outside of England at least until Richard married.

Ada and Regina hardly needed her anymore.

She watched them from her seat across the room.

Ada hanging on Basil’s arm, now Eleanor had been taken upstairs by the governess to rest. Regina near her husband, the picture of happiness, fully within her role as a baroness.

They would have more children and their lives would become even more full.

There were other people of her acquaintance who valued her as she was.

Perhaps she would be a companion to Aunt Theo for the years she had left, and then to Isolde.

Maybe she and Isolde could take a tour of the continent together.

Eventually, when Richard married, Ada would be more assured of his happiness and she would be at her own residence more often.

Then Elodia would be able to see Ada more without enduring him.

Perhaps when Ada and Regina’s children were older they would have more time for their friendship.

Perhaps her own marriage and children would lessen the ache in her chest whenever she thought of him.

“Elodia, my dear,” Isolde said suddenly, “will you accompany me for a turn about the room?”

“A what?”

“I’ve been sitting here for some time and I’d like to stretch my legs.” Her tone was easy but her stare was too frank and direct. There was no doubt as to her intentions.

“Well, I’ll have to check with Ada; she may need me.”

“She’s already given her approval.” She smiled tightly and raised her eyebrows expectantly.

Elodia caught Ada’s eye and she gave her a single nod. She was free. “Yes, of course.” She took her arm and followed her along the walls of the expansive sitting room at Thornfield House.

“Do you wish to discuss it?” she asked in a low tone meant for Elodia’s ear alone.

“No,” Elodia replied, smiling at Aunt Theo as she passed.

“Has something gone on between you and Mr. Thornfield?” Isolde continued.

“No,” she glanced at her. “What makes you ask that?”

Isolde sighed heavily. “Elodia, you are a brave and resilient girl, but you aren’t the best liar.” Elodia looked over at her sharply and she smiled back. “Chin up, dear, and speak softly.”

“I can’t, not here,” Elodia begged.

Isolde slid her arm around her waist and guided her out of the room to the corridor leading to the terrace. “Tell me now.”

It was strange how much easier it was to breathe knowing he wasn’t in the same room. “He hasn’t done anything wrong. He has only ever been the kindest and gentlest man to me.”

She nodded. “Alright.”

“It’s my fault, really. I… I thought something, I believed something that wasn’t true.

” Her eyes flooded with tears and she turned away, staring out at the wonderfully manicured lawn.

How long had she spent secretly imagining raising her children here?

It seemed almost ridiculous now. Who planned a life with a man whose affections hadn’t even been expressed to them? No wonder he’d been repulsed by her.

“By that, you mean you confessed your feelings to him?” Isolde continued, her hand rubbing up and down her back.

Elodia nodded. “But he… he doesn’t like me. He said that he had only ever seen me as Ada’s friend, nothing more.”

“That is a reasonable position for him to take, my dear,” Isolde replied.

Elodia nodded forcefully, as if the action would convince her and make everything hurt less. “I know that. I do not blame him. I just thought he cared for me as well. I was waiting for him. I was waiting for him and now I feel so foolish I can barely look anyone in the eye.”

“Sweet girl.” Isolde brushed her hair back from her brow, and for a moment, Elodia missed her mother so much it felt like her chest was caving in. “If he has made you think he lo—”

“He hasn’t. He had no idea what I was on about.

He was shocked and embarrassed, and I just kept talking.

” She’d relived that nightmare so many times.

She could still see the way his expression went from annoyance to shock and discomfort to that hard, implacable mask which was so foreign to her.

She had shown her heart so fully that there was nowhere left to hide.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“He asked me to maintain my dignity and give up my feelings, and I am determined to do it. I will leave him alone and treat him as I should have from the beginning. With respect and distance.” It would be the hardest thing she’d ever done, but in the end, it was the best for both of them.

She would not force him or make him uncomfortable, and she would learn to be more discerning with her feelings.

Isolde hugged her, rubbing her arm briskly. “I am glad to hear that you have decided to move forward from this. It is very good of you.”