Page 34

TWENTY-SIX

GAGE

Ale’s pregnant.

I got her pregnant.

I thought that if it were to happen this soon, my conscience would finally knock some sense into me and tell me I’m a fucking idiot.

But nope.

Fucking nope.

Inside, I’m fucking mentally high-fiving myself. Giving praise to my swimmers for a job well done.

My alarm goes off at four and I quietly slide out from behind her, figuring I can let her rest this morning and actually get to PT on time. She doesn’t even stir while I get changed, snoring softly. I really must have worn her out last night.

Finding out you’re having a baby sex is pretty awesome.

Ten out of ten would do it again in the future.

I grab my phone and watch off the charger and round the bed to her side, leaning over to push the hair from her face and gently press a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll be home in a little to shower. Sleep, Hermosa .”

All I get in response is a “Mmm,” so I kiss her forehead and leave the bedroom.

“Morales!” I run after him as he walks to his SUV after PT. Victor turns around and gives me a nod.

“Gage, what’s up, Carnal ?” He pats me on the shoulder and hits the unlock on his key fob.

“She’s pregnant.”

Victor turns around and breaks into laughter. “Bro, you don’t waste any time, do you? You went from never even thinking about a relationship to being married with soon-to-be two babies.”

“I don’t half-ass anything.”

“No shit. You guys happy?” He narrows his eyes.

I roll my eyes. “Stupid fucking question.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, maybe Rebecca and I can throw you guys a baby shower. Actually, now that I think of it, let’s go out to celebrate.” Victor pulls out his phone and sends off a text. “I’ll talk to her when I get home and you talk to your old lady.”

“Alright, sounds good. See you in like an hour.”

Once in my truck, I check my phone.

Ale

I felt very empty this morning. How very unlike you husband.

Ale

I love you.

I shoot off a text and then start the truck up.

Gage

You deserved a little R&R because you took my cock so well last night. I’m on my way home.

Dropping my keys on the table and kicking off my shoes, I run up the stairs and find our door already open. Ale isn’t in bed, and I see the bathroom light on under the door and hear Zoe on the other side of the door.

“Ale?” I move closer to the door and reach out to turn the knob. Then I hear the retching.

Fuck. She’s already sick.

“ I’m… fine.” Her voice shakes, then she retches again.

“Is the door unlocked, baby?” I turn the knob and it is. “Let me take Zoe.”

Pushing the door open, she’s on her knees in front of the toilet, and Zoe sits on her hip. I crouch down and reach for our daughter.

“No!”

“Baby, let me help.” I move closer. Zoe wiggles excitedly, waiting for me to take her.

“I—I need to do this on my own, Gage.” Sweat glistens on her brow, and I reach for a washcloth and wet it under the faucet. “For when you’re gone. I need to know I can handle it.”

I press the cloth to her head. “Remember when I told you that if I’m here, I’m going to help you? Well, this is part of it, Hermosa . When you’re throwing up because you’re growing a baby, I hold the other baby.”

“We’re going to have a rule on spacing the kids out.” She laughs weakly. “They have to sit up on their own. I can’t hold one and throw up at the same time.”

“You’re the boss, baby.” I grab Zoe and give her a kiss and lift her up and pretend to eat her stomach. Which makes her do the cutest little almost laugh.

“You’ve got to shower. Let me take her and get her fed.

Let me just brush first.” Ale stands, flushes the toilet, and reaches for her toothbrush.

A few minutes later, I’m in the shower and hauling ass to wash up.

After I’m dressed in my uniform, I head downstairs, where Ale hands me a lunch bag. “Breakfast and leftovers for lunch.”

Works for me.

“Hey, before I go,” I spin her around and pull her arms around my neck, making her smile. “Victor and his wife, Rebecca, want to throw us a baby shower.”

“You already told someone? We haven’t even seen the doctor yet.” I lean in and kiss her, leaving her breathless.

“When is the appointment again? Maybe I can go with you.” My hands run down the length of her ribs, over her hips, and grip under her ass.

“Wednesday. The notes say it’s a fifteen-minute appointment, so I don’t think you need to come with me.” She pulls back and I tilt my head, watching her hips sway in her dress as she grabs her glass of water from the island.

Your wife just puked her guts up and you want to fuck her already?

I am but a simple man.

“Baby, it says fifteen minutes, but you better plan to be there for at least two hours.” I chuckle. “Victor said with their last kid they waited for their ultrasound for three hours. Trust me.”

“Zoe will be five months old on Wednesday.” She looks over at Zoe in her little activity center that I put together last night. “She looks so much like you, Gage.” Turning to face me, she steps closer to me and takes my hand in hers. “Do you think this baby will look more like you or me?”

I move our hands to her stomach and smile. “I hope they look like you, because I love everything about you. And call me crazy, because it will sound crazy. All I see when I look at Zoe is you. I don’t even see myself in her.”

It’s the truth. Not that I try to see Kiera in Zoe, but all I see is the love that Ale has poured into raising Zoe as her own.

It must have blinded me to seeing anything else.

And I just know that this baby is going to have their mother’s beauty and her kind heart.

I want them to have every single quality she exudes.

Ale stares at me and I must be looking some type of way because she leans in and kisses me. “Our children are lucky to have a father like you, Carino . I’m lucky that I get to have babies with you. You are perfect the way you are.”

This woman is over here trying to fix the broken parts of me. Parts that she didn’t break.

What the fuck did I do right in life to have her?

“Better get going, amor . Can’t have you late again.”

Right.

“See you tonight, Hermosa . I love you and Princesa .”

“We know this unit has been deployed more than any other in the regiment, but that just means that y’all are the best of the best.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Not yet.

“Two weeks, Marines. Get your shit taken care of. Three months, and then you’ll be back home.”

Two weeks. That puts us leaving the first week of July.

I get up and, like on autopilot, go through the motions of end-of-day tasks.

I don’t even remember getting in the truck, but I sit behind the wheel in the parking lot.

I’m not afraid of going back over there.

I’ve survived too many deployments to count.

I’m afraid of not coming back to my family. My wife and kids need me.

Fuck, why the fuck did I do this to myself?

Why did I have to drag Ale into this life?

I’m so fucking selfish.

I was so caught up in feeling something for the first time in forever that I put the blinders up and didn’t think about all the aspects of this life. What it would mean missing out on. What Ale would deal with on her own.

I always felt bad for the spouses that got left behind, dealing with the trenches of life here without their Marines. Now I’ve gone and done that to Ale, and with her being newly pregnant. Jesus fucking Christ, how the fuck am I going to break this to her?

The neighborhood is oddly quiet tonight. It’s a warm late June night and there should be kids outside riding their bikes, just living life. But there’s nobody. I kill the engine and pull the keys out of the ignition and take a deep breath. She knew what she was getting into when she married me.

We will get through this.

I promised her we would.

I stop at the front door, my key hovering over the deadbolt. I close my eyes and tell myself that everything is going to be okay. Three months. We can survive a three-month deployment. Zoe will be eight months old. I’ll miss the adoption. Fuck.

Lock it up, Gage. Ale is going to be upset. Don’t make it worse by being upset.

Walking into our home and hearing a belly laugh from Zoe and the sound of Ale blowing on what I assume is her stomach.

I silently put my keys down and take my blouse off and toss it on the table, too.

I unlace my boots and line them against the wall.

Their laughter makes my heart feel so full and yet, it’s breaking because I’ll miss some of this.

“Gage?” Ale’s voice gets closer, and I’m sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, just staring at the front door. “What’s wrong, Carino ? Bad day?”

She hands me Zoe and my daughter smiles at me, her little chubby hand reaching for my face. I cuddle her closer to me, kissing her face, and as much as I want to hide my emotions, I don’t.

“I’m leaving in two weeks, Hermosa . We’re going to be gone for three months.” I pull her down to me and kiss her, hard.

“Okay, amor . We knew this would happen. We’ll be okay.” Ale sounds so sure. She’s the one who has the level head in this situation and it just makes me appreciate her even more.

“God, what did I do to deserve you?” I kiss her again and again. “You just came in here, stole my heart, took to raising Zoe like it was nothing, and fell in love with me. I still don’t understand it.”

I shift Zoe, and Ale straddles my thigh, framing my face with her hands.

“I don’t know who made you question your worth, Gage.

But let me tell you this once and for all.

You deserve a good life, baby. You deserve to be happy.

I love you, and sure, the way we came together was unorthodox, but it’s working for us.

Gage Donovan, you are an amazing father and husband. I’m blessed to have you.”

I’m not just a guy you fuck until the better guy comes along.

She loves me and thinks I’m deserving of a good life.

Why can’t I see that for myself?

As much as I don’t want to admit it, Kiera’s words and the past made their impression on me.

It’s almost like I’m just waiting for the shit to hit the fan and for Ale to change her mind.

To leave me and to tell me I’m nothing worth keeping.

My own father couldn’t stick around because he said I wasn’t shit. But Ale sees something in me.

I just pray I’m enough for her.

I need to heal whatever this shit inside my head is. For her and our children. I refuse to be a shit husband and father, like Victor says when I’m in. It’s all or nothing.

And right now, I’m giving this all I’ve got inside of me.

“We’ve got this, pretty girl.” I hug her closer to me and breathe her scent in.

I’ve got two weeks to soak all of this in.