Page 22 of Mischief and Manors (Change of Heart #1)

CHAPTER 22

I changed into my old stays and a comfortable white dress before making my way to the library. A maid had been keeping watch over my brothers during the garden party.

As soon as I stepped into the library, Peter ran toward me with a grin that stretched impossibly wide. “Annette! Look what Dr. Kellaway gave us!”

Charles dashed up beside him and held out his hand for me to see. They each held a small berry pie cradled in their bent fingers.

“He stole them from the garden party.” Peter’s eyes fell adoringly on the pie again, and he tipped his head back to look at me with a proud smile.

“He didn’t steal them,” I clarified. “They were available for everyone.”

It was then that I noticed Owen lounging in one of the cushioned chairs by the fireplace. My heart quaked upon seeing him again, with his playful grin and dark framed eyes. He had no idea that I was aware of his attachment.

“I heard from your brothers a little tale about a man with a large belly who doesn’t like to share his pies.” He stood and walked toward me, a curious smile on his lips. “Is this true?” His eyes were on the brink of laughter. “And they also told me that their sister ‘made him very angry.’”

I scowled at him, suddenly feeling defensive.

He looked taken aback, and his smile fell into a scolding frown. “What have I done now?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head fast. I was acting too suspiciously. If he knew what had been racing through my mind since speaking with Lady Pembury, and all the hopes I had been trying to trample, I would end up even more embarrassed. “I—I simply don’t like to think of Mr. Coburn.”

“Ah, so he has a name.” Owen walked closer. “Are you going to tell me what you did to make him angry?”

I shook my head fast. “It was a well-deserved insult. That is all you need to know.”

Owen grinned with amusement. “I hope it didn’t have anything to do with his belly,” he whispered.

I wanted to be amused, but my heart felt heavy. I couldn’t muster a smile. “He is a disagreeable man who we often see at the village in Silton. He does nothing but insult us and so I insulted him right back for a change. He is a big, smelly, revolting tyrant.”

Owen’s lips twitched. “‘Big, smelly, revolting tyrant’?”

“Yes,” I asserted with an exasperated sigh.

He dropped his chin and laughed under his breath, looking down at his boots. “Will you promise me something?” He looked up again and I greeted his gaze with a suspicious look.

“What?”

“Promise me that, if you see him again, you will call him that very thing.”

I contemplated the idea for a moment. “Very well. I will.”

Owen laughed, but my heart still stung. After today, it would be Miss Lyons that Owen would laugh with, and talk with, and sit in this very room with. Not me. He had only been spending time with me because of his responsibility to help my brothers. I was a fool to have thought it was anything else.

“I now understand why you despise Silton so much,” Owen said. “You have revolting tyrants as neighbors.”

“Indeed.” My heart was in my throat. Soon enough he would acknowledge my somber mood, and I would have no way of explaining it. I looked down at the floor, trying to compose my expression.

His eyes tugged my gaze back to his face. “Did you enjoy the garden party?”

I had mixed feelings on the subject, but I simply nodded.

“I noticed your pink dress,” he said in a quiet voice. “I was glad to see that you had decided to wear the color again.”

I swallowed. Owen was the only person in the world who knew how large of a step that decision had been for me. He was the only person who wouldn’t call it silly. I had failed to dig his anchor out of my heart, so I felt another firm tug on the rope. We were still connected, and he was still in control of so many of my emotions.

“I wore it once.” I twisted my fingers together. “I might not make a habit of it.”

He leaned closer. “You should. You looked beautiful.”

Of course Owen would try to charm me when I seemed upset. He was good at charming everyone.

“I was thinking about it,” I said, avoiding his gaze, “and I realized that Willowbourne is your pink dress.”

His brow lifted in amusement. “Pardon me?”

“I mean…you told me that Willowbourne was like home to you, but that you haven’t returned since Theodore died. Until today, I hadn’t worn pink since my mother died. I think it is only fair that you promise me you will go back to Willowbourne someday soon. You might learn to love it again.”

He stared at me, a determined look entering his gaze. “Very well. I promise.”

I jolted with surprise. “Really?” I felt a wave of pride, as if I had done something very clever. I accidentally smiled up at him.

He smiled back, tipping his head down to look in my eyes. “It is only fair.”

My heart beat a shallow rhythm. If it was true that he had fallen in love with Miss Lyons in London, then he had only done so because he couldn’t help it. He was thoughtful and kind, enough so to bring pies back from the party for my brothers. It was devastating, really, how thoughtful he was.

Perhaps I didn’t need to begin mourning him yet. We could still be friends, especially today. Upon coming to Kellaway Manor, I had been determined to seize every last moment of my freedom, even knowing it would be gone soon. I could do the same now with my time with Owen. I could enjoy him for one more day before he saw Charlotte again and remembered how inferior I was.

I gave a satisfied nod and crossed the room to choose a book from the shelf. Owen followed me to the table, claiming the chair beside mine. I kept my book open and tried to read, but it was difficult. I felt Owen’s gaze on the side of my face, and I was aware of every single one of his movements as he settled into his chair.

After a long minute, I couldn’t endure it any longer. “Are you going to…read something?”

“I am reading something.” His eyes never left my face.

I closed my book, throwing him a questioning glance. “You are reading…me?”

He smiled, but it was half-hearted. “I’m trying to, but without success.”

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “Can we not enjoy a peaceful time reading books ? You’ve had opportunities to ask me questions when you taught lessons to my brothers.”

He looked down at the table. There still seemed to be something on his mind. “You’re right. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

I stared at the furrow in his brow, slowly picking up my book again. I found the page I had been pretending to read, and kept my gaze focused on the letters. My mind couldn’t form them into words—I was too focused on the signs of discontent in Owen. Seconds passed, but the silence still felt heavy and awkward.

Suddenly, he spoke again. “I didn’t know you were so open to the idea of courtship.”

I looked up, my heart jumping. His eyes met mine, and they were more serious than I had expected them to be.

“Are you referring to the men at the garden party?”

“What else could I be referring to?” His voice was low and irritable.

I shrugged, my ears prickling with heat as I looked down at my book again. “I would have been rude to disagree with your mother. She wanted me to meet them.”

“So you are open to it? Or were you just appeasing her?”

I shrugged. “What young lady in my situation wouldn’t be open to coursthip?” I turned the page, even though I was still staring at the top of it. My heart beat fast in my ears. “I know how bleak my future is if I don’t marry, so yes, I have to be open to it.”

He was silent for a long moment.

My curiosity bested me; I looked up at him. “Is that surprising?”

“Yes. It is.” He wore a faint scowl.

I smiled, hoping to turn this into a lighter conversation. “How so?”

He looked exasperated. “Since the day you arrived, you have given me the impression that you would rather avoid attention and flirting from gentlemen.”

I laughed. “Well, I suppose it depends on the gentleman.” The remark spilled out before I realized how it would sound. Regret flooded through my chest, but I couldn’t erase what I had just implied.

Owen looked down at the table. “Of course.” His jaw tightened, and several agonizing seconds passed. “When you meet the right man, his attention won’t be so difficult to bear.”

My heart pounded. I felt the frantic need to apologize, but I didn’t trust myself to phrase it without making matters worse. My defenses had been raised earlier that day, and I hadn’t yet taken them down. And now, it seemed that I had offended him. Owen , offended? It seemed impossible, until I looked at his face again. His jaw was still tight.

Confusion made my head spin. Had I been too quick to believe Lady Pembury? If his attachment to her daughter was true, then why did Owen seem so curious about my courtship plans? And why did he seem so upset?

I could simply ask him about Charlotte. I could obtain the truth from him right then. A gathered every ounce of courage inside me and turned to face him.

Just as I did, he stood from the table. “I have a few visits to make this afternoon.” His voice was abrupt. “Please excuse me.”

I sat back in stunned silence as he left the room, the door closing forcefully behind him.

Peter and Charles glanced up at his departure, a smear of berry jam on Charles’s lips.

I held perfectly still, a pinch of ache in my heart.

I wasn’t entirely certain what had just happened, but it felt like I had made a horrible mistake, one that would be difficult to reverse. A lump formed in my throat. It wouldn’t be wise to wear pink ever again. Every time I did, I lost something very dear to me. But this time, it felt like my own fault.