Page 32 of Mine to Keep (Bloody Desires #10)

twenty

the past

My gun is up and the safety off before I say a word, the pressure on the trigger almost enough to fire a round. Javier looks back at me, tears brimming his eyes as Talon shivers in his arms. I won’t let whoever this is take them away from me. One person tried already and it won’t happen again.

Then my eyes come into focus and I see who’s holding the gun. I blink. Then blink again. This can’t be. No way. Am I seeing a ghost?

“Olivia?” I ask, my arm dropping to my side before I give it the command.

She grins at me, the same grin she used to give me all those years ago when she was up to no good. “Hey there, good lookin’. Didn’t think I’d see you again.”

My breath whooshes out of my chest and I slump against the door, trying to make sense of it all.

Olivia is dead. The Void killed her. She was…she was retired.

“They yours?” she asks, inclining her head to Javier and Talon.

“Yeah. Put your gun down.” My voice comes out thin and raspy, my head spinning. “Does Peggy know you’re here?”

She clicks her safety back on and puts her gun in a holster at her back. “She’s the one that called me.”

“She…she knew?”

Olivia sighs, walking over to me. “We got a lot to talk about, you and me. Before we do that, take care of them. They look like they’re ready to bolt.”

I drag her into my arms, hugging her tightly to make sure she’s real. She is, warm and solid, like she’s always been. “I missed you.”

“I know,” she says with a chuckle. “I missed you too. Go on. We’ll talk soon.”

With a sigh, I pull away from her and usher my boys into one of the open bedrooms.

Javier moves as far away from me as he can, keeping a firm hold on Talon. “Who is she?”

“An old friend,” I tell him as I shut the door. Talon whimpers when he hears the click of the door, tearing my heart in two. “I won’t hurt you,” I say earnestly, hoping he believes me. Hoping they believe me.

Javier’s eyes harden as he kicks his chin up. “Who the fuck are you and what do you want from us?”

Exhaling a harsh breath, I slide down the door until my butt hits the floor. “I’m not holding you hostage,” I say when a flash of fear cross Javier’s face. “I just want to give you both some space. If ever you want to leave, I won’t stop you. But…please let me try to explain first.”

They look at each other, a silent conversation passing between them.

Even with all the bullshit going on, I can’t deny how beautiful they are together.

Beautiful and mine. Even if they want to leave me, I’ll never leave them unprotected.

I’ll always watch out for them, even if they don’t want me to.

After a handful of minutes, Javier sits on the bed and pulls Talon onto his lap.

Talon looks down at me, sniffling and burrowing closer to Javier. “Tell us. Who are you? Why were there people shooting at us?”

“They were shooting at me .” I drag in a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before I let it out.

“Because of your security job?”

I shake my head slowly. “I don’t work security. I work for an organization called The Void.” My heart thumps hard against my rib cage as I brace for my next words. “It’s a collection of hitmen, assassins.”

They both blink at me, as if they can’t comprehend the words. I don’t say anything else—I simply let them process the information at their own pace.

“You…” Javier starts then shakes his head, biting his bottom lip. “You mean…you…”

“Yeah. I kill people for a living.”

“Why?” Talon asks. “What did they do to you?”

I’m more shocked that they’re not screaming and yelling at me, though they probably want to. They’re probably keeping their cool so I don’t kill them.

“ Nothing,” I say honestly. “I’m a hitman for hire.”

“How…how did you…how did that happen?”

I swallow past the sudden lump in my throat. “It’s a long story.”

Javier scoffs, some of that fire he had before blazing in his eyes. “It’s not like we have anywhere else to be. Or that you’ll let us leave.”

“I’ll let you leave, Javi.”

He winces when I say his nickname. “Alive?”

“Of course. I’ll never hurt either of you.”

“Does she know that?” he asks, inclining his head to the door.

I nod, though I’m not sure. Olivia has been out of my life for years. I don’t know her anymore. “I told her you were mine. She won’t hurt you.”

“We should trust a murderer?”

I can’t help it; I wince, dropping my head.

When I started on this path, I had nothing and no one.

I didn’t think about what I was doing because I had no reason to feel ashamed.

No one to judge me. Now that I do, I wish I hadn’t chosen this path.

There was a better way—a healthier way—to get what I needed.

Now I’m forever tainted because my grief was too all encompassing for me to think clearly.

Clearing my throat, I say, “Besides not telling you my real job, I’ve never lied to you. Never mistreated you. Never took advantage of you. Doesn’t that count for something?”

Javier shakes his head, while Talon nods. I sigh, suddenly weary.

Talon is the one that answers. “It does, but we’re…we’re afraid. What’s to say you weren’t here to kill us? We don’t have enemies, but you never know.”

It’s a valid question, especially after the truth bomb I just dropped on them.

“When I’m on a job,” I say, “I don’t waste time hanging around or getting to know my marks.

I would have killed you both in the airport and no one would have known it was me.

I’m good at my job. Maybe that’s nothing to brag about, but it’s true. ”

Talon twists in Javier’s lap, putting his back to Javi’s front, his braids tumbling over his shoulder. “How did you start working to…kill people? Can you tell us?”

I look at Javier, who pauses for a few beats, then gives a clipped nod.

Sighing, I say, “It’s not pretty. But my life really isn’t.

” They don’t say anything, just stare at me with wide but guarded eyes.

“I told you two I grew up in foster care and I had a sister.” They both nod.

“Patience was her name, I told you that too.” I smile, thinking back on my big sister.

“It suited her. She was the most patient person I’d ever known.

Sweet. Caring. Loving. And so smart. She was trusting too. Too trusting.

“She was the first person to talk to me when I arrived at the group home.” I pause, then say, “My parents were junkies. My dad overdosed when I was five, and when I was nine, my mom disappeared one day and never came back. I was left home alone for a week. My principal called the cops when I came to school in the same clothes three days in a row,” I give them a sad smile.

“We didn’t have a washing machine, and I ran out of clean clothes.

The cops found me and took me to foster care.

I had been cooking for myself and keeping myself as clean as I could, so I was in better shape than most kids found after being left alone for days on end. ”

“Did you ever see your mother again?” Talon whispers.

“No. She might be dead. Might be alive somewhere still shooting up. I don’t know and I don’t care,” I say with a shrug.

When they don’t seem like they’ll ask more questions, I continue my story.

“Patience was at the group home for about a year when I arrived, and pretty much greeted everyone who came through the door. We became fast friends. No one adopted her either, so we stuck together while we were there. She was a year older than me and was able to land on her feet fairly well when she aged out. She rented a room from someone for a few months to save up money, and worked two jobs to get a steady paycheck. By the time I aged out, I had somewhere to go. Like I said, the group home we grew up in wasn’t bad, but they didn’t have a ton of resources, so when we left, we only got a hundred bucks and the clothes on our backs.

I was lucky that I had someone waiting for me. ”

My heart hammers as sadness engulfs me. Talking about Patience is always hard, but I guess it’s even harder because I’m telling the worst parts of her story.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I say, “For four years, we worked, and lived together, hanging out and being family. It was the first time we had that, you know?” Of course they don’t. They have big families they’re close to. All Patience and I had were each other.

“Then one day,” I say, dragging in a steadying breath, “she didn’t come home.

That wasn’t like Patience. If she was going to be late, she would have called or texted me.

I called the cops and they took a report, but they said since she was an adult, she could come and go as she pleased.

Which they were right about, but at the same time, it wasn’t something she did. ”

I can remember how I felt the next morning when I woke up to find her bed cold and empty and no calls or texts on my phone. It’s like I can see, smell, and feel everything from that day.

The frantic feeling pulses through me now as vividly as when I was searching her job and the streets for her. Our town wasn’t large, so it didn’t take me long to scour it from end to end.

I asked Patience’s boss if he’d seen her, and he told me she got into a car with a man that came in earlier in her shift who’d said he lived around the corner from us and would give her a ride home.

For the rest of the day and much of the next, I asked everyone I saw on the streets if they’d seen her. No one besides her boss saw her the night she disappeared.

“What happened to her?” Javier asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.