Page 20 of Mayfair Madame (Mayfair Heights #1)

Chapter Eighteen

Naomi

“ G ood morning. I brought you coffee.”

Ellie sat on the bed in a vest top and shorts, looking a hundred times better than she had yesterday.

“Wow, someone’s looking good today.” I scrambled to sit up and tucked the sheet around me. Not that she’d not seen everything I had, but it seemed right somehow.

“I feel much better, although still not one hundred per cent. The soup worked wonders, and probably the antibiotics as well.”

I took the mug from her and sipped. Just how I liked it. Unspoken words hung between us. She was going to ask about the nightmares, and she had every right to ask.

“Look,” I said. “About last night.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.” She smiled, but how could she not be curious?

“I don’t. You’re right, but you should know what happened with Godfrey. It wasn’t the first time I’d been assaulted. In my line of work, there’s always the danger that it could happen.”

She took my hand, her eyes full of understanding.

“I’d been cocky and stupid, thinking I knew everything at just age twenty, but I’d known nothing.

Fortunately, I wasn’t hurt too much. A slap here and there, torn clothes.

I’d fought like a hellion, scratching and kicking until I’d been able to escape, but not before he’d pinned me down, his arm against my throat. ”

“Didn’t it put you off? You could have been killed.”

“Back then, I thought I was invincible. Yes, it scared the crap out of me, but not enough to stop and think about getting a different job.Admittedly, I wasn’t earning the money I am now, but it beat working in a shop or as a waitress.

I was greedy for money, and being an escort was an easy way to earn it. ”

I hated the look on her face, but if we were to make anything of this, she needed to know the good and the bad. And there was so much bad, worse than I was telling her now.

Could I ever tell her the rest? I didn’t know. I could barely recall it myself without throwing myself into a state of panic. Those memories caused nightmares, insomnia, sleepless nights. Those memories had put me in therapy.

“How did you even get into the escort business?”

I took another sip of coffee. This was always the hard part:getting people to understand why I did what I did. How I got into the business and stayed here.

But to explain how I started, I’d need to explain the other stuff. The dark, depressing shit that dragged me down into the darkness. Was I ready to reveal that yet?

The answer was no, but I needed to start somewhere.

“I was eighteen, no longer welcome in the foster system I’d been in since I’d been ten. One minute I had a home. Next, I was more or less homeless. Don’t get me wrong, I was more than happy to be out of the system. Let’s just say it had never been an enjoyable experience for me.”

“Oh my God, Naomi, I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head. “Don’t be. In hindsight, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. A friend from college offered me the spare room in their flat. Seemed like a good idea, but what I didn’t know was that they supplemented their income as an escort.”

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again as I held up my hand. If I didn’t get it all out now, I might never tell her, and she deserved to know. I’d kept her waiting long enough.

“He was a good-looking guy, and the place we lived in was so much better than anything I’d seen in my life. So much better than the fucking foster homes. I hated them, but until I was eighteen, I couldn’t leave. Let’s just say social services kept a close eye on me. Another story for another day.”

I shifted in the bed. We were straying into uncomfortable territory. I needed to keep the conversation on track.

“What happened next?” Her voice softened. She must have realised there was more to my story I wasn’t yet ready to divulge.

“One night he asked me if I was interested in joining him for a night out. The girl he often worked with couldn’t make it, and they had a dinner reservation for four.

Where was the harm? I was eighteen, easily impressed, and when I pocketed a couple of hundred quid for going out for a meal, I didn’t see the problem. ”

“And did you…”

“Have sex? No, not right away. Denny looked after me at first. He showed me the ropes, helped me choose clients who were happy with my company.The money rolled in, and being as na?ve as I was, I racked up debt. A lot. Credit cards, loans, you name it, I owed it. It became more difficult to pay it off, and after talking to one of the other girls, I realised I could earn more by selling not just my time.”

“Why didn’t you just leave? Find another job?”

No one understood why I stayed, why I didn’t leave the agency and find a ‘reputable’ job. But once you get used to the money, it sucks when you don’t have it.

“Because it was easier to stay with something I knew. I wasn’t cut out for an office, and anyway, I’d never been one to conform. School held no appeal. I barely even went to high school. I wasn’t stupid, but I didn’t have any qualifications. How could I find a job that earned me the same money?”

“I guess I never thought of it that way.” While Ellie still hadn’t let go of my hand, I saw in her face she didn’t quite understand.

She couldn’t even look at me. I’d told no one my reasons for staying other than Rupert.

Even Melinda didn’t know the complete story, but I wasn’t ashamed of what I’d done.Far from it. I was proud of the woman I’d become.

“Hey.” I reached up and touched her cheek.

“You asked for my story, Ellie. This is it. I know it’s not pretty, and I know many people don’t understand why I’m still here doing a job that most see as cheap and dirty.

But this is my life, and I’m damned if anyone is going to make me feel less than anyone else. ”

“I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. Being on the other side of the fence, so to speak, I’ve always wondered why women and men go straight back out there, even when they’ve been beaten or robbed. Please forgive me. Carry on.”

She gripped my hand tighter. Hopefully, she would still be here when I finished my story.

“One thing led to another, and I did what I thought was best forme. I started selling more than just my time. I wasn’t on the streets every night, but I knew many who were.

It wasn’t always sex. Some wanted me for my company, but most wanted me for my body.

I was exotic, enticing, and sensual.Those were the words used to describe me on the website.

It garnered interest. I became popular and in demand. ”

Ellie widened her eyes. Was this too much?

“We can carry this on another time, if you’d like. You only got out-of-hospital yesterday, and I’m sure you don’t need to hear all this right now.”

“Yes. No, of course. Whatever you want. I can make us some breakfast. I was thinking I might go home today.”

And there it was. This was why I didn’t tell anyone what had happened to me, although this was barely scratching the surface. People either didn’t understand or didn’t know me well enough for me to tell them. I thought Ellie was different.

“I need a shower.” I placed the empty coffee mug on the nightstand, gathered the sheet around me, and walked to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower and stepped inside the cubicle, ignoring the ice-cold water. Was my story so bad she couldn’t bear to be with me? My body shook with frustration; angry tears fell. I’d yell if I didn’t think she’d hear me.

I’d believed her when she said she was fine with what I did, but when the truth came out, she’d turned her back. I scrubbed at my skin until it was sore, and when I applied my cream, it stung. Maybe when I left the bathroom,she’d be gone, and I’d be alone again.

But the moment I stepped into the bedroom, I froze. She stood at the side of the bed, balancing a tray of buttered toast and a fresh pot of coffee.

I rushed to her aid and relieved her of the pot before she dropped it.

“What’s this? I thought you were going home?”

“I said I’d make breakfast. I’m not the best cook, but I can manage toast and coffee.”

“And then you’re going home.” I stared at her, willing her to say no.

“Only to get some more clothes. I’m knackered after making this.I’m still not sure I’d be able to look after myself. Is that okay? I could ask my mum to come down if it’s an imposition.”

Fuck, I was an idiot.

“Of course. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. I kind of thought I’d scared you off, and we hadn’t even touched the worst of it.”

“God, Naomi. I’m sorry. Your past makes you who you are. Who am Ito judge you for that? You had your reasons, and it really doesn’t matter to me where they came from or what you did. You’re here for me, and that’s all that matters. Now, come here and kiss me.”

I cradled her face and pressed a soft kiss to her waiting lips. Her eyes fluttered and closed. God, I was in over my head.

Never in my life had I experienced an emotion such as this, warmth that spread through me and filled the crevices and cracks that had formed over the years.

Was I in too deep or not deep enough? At this point, I didn’t care. She’d put her trust in me to tend to her at her lowest, but I couldn’t take advantage, not while she was still ill.

“I’m starving.” I released her reluctantly and led her to the bed. We snuggled under the blankets, our bodies touching. Skin on skin.

I was happier than I’d been in a long while, and a lightness filled my chest.

We ate and drank, content in each other’s company. She’d smile at me. I’d smile at her. If only we could have more mornings like this, but why shouldn’t we?

Nothing was stopping her from staying here when she wanted. I’d be more than happy for her to stay.

One thing was obvious. When I’d watched her sleep in the hospital, not knowing what would happen, I realised I needed someone.

Not to care for, but someone to share my life with.

I’d lived so long being the reliable one.

The one they turned to when times were rough.

For years, I’d kept my secrets, told no one but my therapist and Rupert how I’d suffered.

Until now. It was time to tell her the rest.

“There’s more, you know, to my story.” We’d eaten the food and were now left with the coffee.

“I know, but it can wait. We have plenty of time, Naomi. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Even after all I’ve told you?”

“Especially after all you’ve told me. Life hasn’t been easy for you. Well, for either of us, and I know you have more to say, but let’s finish our coffee.”

I was about to say more when her phone rang.

She picked it up and frowned. “It’s my sister. I should get this.”

I gestured for her to answer it and hopped out of bed.

“Lucy, is everything okay?”

I grabbed some clothes and stepped into the bathroom to dress. What on earth was that about?

Her muffled voice filtered through the wall, and I waited until she ended the call, then went back into the bedroom.

“Mum’s had a fall. She’s in the hospital. I have to go.”

“You can’t travel in your state.” She’d barely been able to stand yesterday. How would she manage such a long journey?

“I have to go, Naomi. She might need an operation.”

She ran her fingers through her hair and closed her eyes.

“Hey, it’ll be okay, but if you really need to go, then let me help.” I couldn’t drive her there, but I could make her journey more bearable. “Let me book you a train ticket. First class, so at least you’ll be comfortable. You can’t drive, Ellie, the doctors said no exertion for a while.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“Suck it up, sweetheart. I’m paying.”

If I were expecting an argument or some kind of protest, I got none. She looked dejected and tired. So very tired.

She stood on unsteady legs, and I pulled her close, wrapping my arms around her.

“I need clothes.”

“We can stop by your place and get you some stuff. I’ll ask Melinda to book the train for you.”

“I don’t mean to be a bother.”

Didn’t she realise I’d do anything to help her? And didn’t that tell me everything I needed to know about how I felt?

“You’ll never be a bother, Ellie.” I stroked and kissed her cheek.“But don’t overdo it while you’re gone.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“And call me as soon as you get there.”