Page 19 of Mayfair Madame (Mayfair Heights #1)

Chapter Seventeen

Ellie

“ Y ou should go out for your birthday. I’ll be fine here on my own.” Naomi fluffed the pillow and placed it behind my head. Her floral scent filled my nose, her smooth, dark skin tantalisingly close to my lips. Did I want to lick it?

Fuck, yeah. Did I have the energy? Fuck, no.

Exhaustion still hampered my every move. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I getting any better?

According to the doctors, I was, but it sure didn’t feel that way. Lethargy filled my body; the effort of peeing and bathing was far too energetic.

It still didn’t prevent me from lusting after the woman fussing over me like a mother hen. I lifted a finger and slowly trailed it down her arm, her nipples reacting as I hoped they would. She wore a black cropped T-shirt and, as usual, no bra.

“There’ll be none of that, Ellie Sharpe. Not until you’re back to full strength, and I’m not leaving you. I have a birthday every year, and we celebrated only the other day. Looking after you is my priority.”

I’d napped on the sofa earlier. Naomi had pottered about doing this and that. In a state of drowsiness, I’d heard her talking on the phone, her voice floating in and out of my dreams.

Dreams full of nothing and everything. Dreams of drowning, dreams of living, dreams of a brown-eyed woman reaching out to me, her hand drifting farther and farther away until I’d sat up in a panic, my heart racing and sweat dripping down my face.

“It’s too early for me to go to bed.” I pouted, but sleep threatened to pull me under despite the light streaming through the bedroom window, muted sounds of the bustling city from below.

“It’s never too early to rest and get well. I’m going to bring you something for dinner, your medication and then you’re going to sleep.”

A gentle hand stroked down my face, and kind eyes filled me with hope of a better future. Was I asking too much? And again, there was that annoying voice telling me I didn’t deserve her. Why would she be interested in me?

I batted away the thoughts and concentrated on her and her alone. Her hand cradled my face, and I couldn’t help the sigh that left me.

When did I become so weak and needy? Maybe if I’d been like this, Kate would have stayed, but I knew the way I felt was down to the infection and nothing else. Not that I didn’t have feelings for Naomi. God, I wanted her so badly I could cry.

But I was feeling sorry for myself, and why shouldn’t I let someone take care of me for a change?

“Rest. I’ll be back soon, and then you can sleep.” She closed the door, and my eyes drooped. Her bed was warm and comfortable, and I snuggled into the pillows that smelled of her.

This time, I fell into a dreamless sleep, waking only when she returned.

“Here, sit up. I brought you some soup.”

I sat, my back against the headboard and inhaled deeply.

“Smells good. Did you make it yourself?”

She bit her lip, then smiled.

“Um, not quite. I might have got it delivered. I’m not great in the kitchen.”

“I have experience that says otherwise,” I said, and flashes of my face between her legs played in my mind, and I laughed at the look on her face.

Clearly, she’d remembered it too. The tray wobbled in her hands, but she saved it and placed it on the nightstand.

“I’m blaming you entirely.” Her eyes sparkled with amusement. “Now open up like a good girl.”

“That’s what she said.” I couldn’t help myself.

“You are incorrigible, Ellie.” But she smiled anyway.

She dipped the spoon in the soup and blew on it gently, then brought it to my lips.

Her eyes never left mine, and I opened my mouth. Warm liquid coated my tongue. She tilted the spoon, filling my mouth with the most delicious soup I’d ever tasted. I closed my eyes and groaned as the hot broth dripped down my throat.

“Good?” She placed the spoon back into the bowl.

“Very good.”

She put the spoon to her lips and licked. “Mmm, it is good. More?”

I nodded, fascinated by the exchange. Other than my mother, no one had ever fed me, and to say I was turned on was an understatement, as ill as I felt.

She continued feeding me, watching my every move—the flick of my tongue, the lick of my lips—and when a stray drop dripped down my chin, she was quick to wipe it with her thumb. She sucked it into her mouth, licking every drip.

If stoking my arousal was her plan, she was doing a damn fine job.But with the heat of the room, the soup that now warmed me from the inside, and the stupidly comfortable bed, I could barely keep my eyes open.

Why? Just when things were getting interesting, my body betrayed me.

Sensing my exhaustion, Naomi took a napkin from the tray and wiped my mouth. “I’ll tell Lorenzo you enjoyed his soup.”

I slumped back and sank into the soft, feather-filled pillows.

“It was fantastic,” I mumbled. My head dropped to the side, and I remembered nothing more.

I woke in darkness, barely able to make out any shapes in the room. What time was it, and how long had I been out?

The sheets rustled next to me, and I turned. Naomi was sleeping peacefully.

The soup must have been magic. My headache had gone, and the lethargy I’d been feeling had left me. I was still tired, but it wasn’t the bone-deep exhaustion I’d been feeling since Monday. Desperate for a pee, I tiptoed to the bathroom.

I gazed at the huge bath we’d shared, memories of her naked body next to mine. How had it been only a couple of weeks since we’d met?

I felt like I’d known her a lifetime, but knew there were still parts of her I had to discover. I caught my reflection in the mirror and gasped.

Shit, I looked awful, my face pale and drawn. How much weight had I lost?

I’d barely eaten anything since collapsing on Monday, and while part of me knew I needed to eat to regain my strength, the other part rubbed its hands in glee at how much weight I might have lost.

More than a few pounds, maybe even half a stone. Weight I could more than afford to lose.

After doing my business, I crept into the bedroom and pulled back the covers. Naomi’s nude body stretched out, stark against the white covers. Long legs, exquisitely dainty feet, and painted toenails. Slender arms, one across her stomach, the other over her head. She was beautiful.

Her eyes flickered, and a frown formed on her forehead. Small whimpers left her. Her body convulsed, the serenity having left her.

She squirmed, the whimpers becoming grunts, and her face twisted as if in pain, fists thumping the bed.

I’d experienced her nightmares before, but this seemed worse. What should I do?

Should I wake her? I sat on the edge of the bed. Every muscle in her body seemed to tighten as her head thrashed from side to side.

I couldn’t let this continue. I grabbed her hand. “Naomi, it's Ellie. Come on, baby, wake up.”

She wrenched her hand from mine, her cries becoming louder.

“Naomi.” I placed my hand on her chest, panic setting in. “Naomi, baby.”

She gasped, and her eyes flew open, wild and wide.

“It’s okay. You’re safe. I promise.” I gathered her into my arms, her body limp, and stroked her hair.

Loud sobs filled the silence, her tears wet against my skin.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” I whispered over and over. I rocked her gently, waiting until finally her cries softened.

Her heaving breaths calmed, and still she let me hold her.

Minutes passed until finally she pulled away, her face wet, eyes bloodshot.

“I seem to be making a habit of this.” She swiped at the fallen tears and sniffed.

“It’s okay. I told you that before. If you want to talk about it…” Hopefully, she’d at least tell me what was on her mind.

She shook her head and lay back down. “Hold me, please.”

I could do that. I brought the covers with me and wrapped them around us, her head lying on my chest.

I’d never seen her look so vulnerable, so lost. This wasn’t the strong woman I’d met. Even in the face of sexual assault, she’d had an air of defiance about her, but now, as she lay trembling in my arms, I knew whatever caused these nightmares had left scars that ran deep.

Neither of us slept, content to lie in tranquillity. All the anguish and anxiety had drained from us both, leaving just calm.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “It’s twice you’ve seen that. I’m not usually so restless, but since that night, you know, with Godfrey.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” I kissed the side of her head, damp with perspiration.

“Not now, but I will. I told you I would, but not tonight. I’m so tired. Episodes like this take it out of me. But how are you? God, Ellie. Youcertainly didn’t need this tonight.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m feeling better than I’ve felt in days. I don’t know what was in the soup, but it definitely did the trick.”

“You’re just saying that so I don’t feel bad, but I do. I’m fucking stupid for allowing that entitled bastard to get to me.”

“He sexually assaulted you, and I’m still not sure why you dropped the case against him. I get it was a mutual thing, but something must have happened for you to do that. Wankers like him don’t back down that easily.”

“No, they don’t.” We both yawned. Perhaps tonight wasn’t the right time to get into this.

“We should get some sleep, and you can tell me tomorrow.”

“Hmmm, yeah, tomorrow,” she said, her words slurred. Within minutes, her breathing evened out, and she slept.

If only I could say the same. I’d spent so much time asleep over the last few days, I was wide awake. And at this time of the morning, it was never good.

My insecurities always took hold, especially after splitting with Kate. I’d messaged her a few times, then deleted them, not wanting to come across as needy.

The early hours were not my friend.

This time, my thoughts mainly centred around how I came to be here, in the bed of the most wonderful woman I’d ever met.

If someone had told ten-year-old Ellie, she would have laughed in anyone’s face. Yet here I was. Plain old Ellie.

It would end. Naomi would see I wasn’t really worth the effort after all, that someone else, Melinda maybe, could offer her what she wanted.

I was no catch. I wasn’t feminine. I didn’t like frills, loathed pink, and was more comfortable in jeans, a T-shirt, and trainers. Kate had been the one to wear the dresses and skirts, but I never wanted to be labelled as the ‘man’ of the relationship.

I kept my hair long and wore makeup. Naomi’s night out being a case in point, but no doubt that was how people would view us. Naomi had the sexy curves, the striking looks. What did I bring to the table?

Why did I beat myself up like this? Why couldn’t I accept the truth for what it was? The little I knew of Naomi, she was a woman of integrity. An honest person, and I knew deep down she’d not be here if she didn’t want to be.

Enough was enough.

Time to take back my life. Time to stop wallowing. Time to step up and make something of myself.