Page 38 of Maybe, Probably (Love Me, Maybe #1)

Chapter Twenty Three

Harper

O h man, I’m in trouble.

That smirk is laced with promise…and desire. His eyes are fully dilated with thirst and desire. Without breaking eye contact, his fingers move down to the bench below. Before I know it, he’s moving his two fingers in front of my mouth. He pauses a second before murmuring, “Open.”

I don’t think twice as I open my mouth, and he places his two fingers into my mouth.

“Suck.” I twirl my tongue around his fingers, pulling them further into my mouth.

The mixture of my own tangy release with his salty is a combination that I find myself enjoying more than I thought I would.

His eyes don’t move from my mouth. Xavier pulls his fingers from my lips slowly before replacing them with his own.

My heart races again as I lean back to accommodate him.

Xavier moves with me, settling between my thighs, before running his hands up the side of my body.

One hand rests on my rib cage, while his other hand travels between my breast and up my collar bone.

When he reaches my neck, he slides it around the back before his hands tangle with the base of my hair.

Shivers dance through my body as he devours my mouth, keeping me exactly where he demands I be.

Breaking the kiss, Xavier angles my head to allow him access to my neck.

He begins working his way up the column of my neck, kissing and sucking in places that make my toes curl.

A slight whimper comes from my lips as he nips just under my jaw.

His nose traces up the side of my jaw, before pulling back slightly.

His blue eyes are shaded, a mix of feelings shifting within them like a stormy sea wave—chaotic and untamed.

“Now that I’ve tasted you, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stay away.” He whispers before smashing his lips with mine. I happily reciprocate, our tongues battling as they tangle together.

When we pull apart we’re both panting. I watch the storm continue to brew in his eyes. His nostrils flare and I see the tick in his jaw as if he’s still trying to hold himself back. Neither of us speak.

The moment dissipates, and Xavier straightens, tucking himself back into his pants. He scratches at his jaw before he wipes his mouth with his hand. I quickly bring my legs together.

“I’m– sorry.” The statement is so quiet, I almost miss it. I pull my bottoms back up and go to say something to him, but he’s already out the door. My head begins to spin, thinking about what just happened, and how we got here.

All I wanted was to hide, and if I’m honest, cry. No better time to cry than in the shower since the tears just blend with the water. Next thing I know, I’m being pulled into this sauna.

I was shocked stupid at the dominating presence he took when he told me to listen. My body shivers when I think back to what he said, and the emotion I felt coming through those words? It was like he was a man starved. I saw the moment the resistance snapped, and it was electrifying.

Whatever just happened, it didn’t end the way I was hoping it would. The way we came together was bewitching. I thought at that moment that maybe my feelings toward him were reciprocated. But, just as quickly as it happened, it stopped, and he’s back to pushing me away.

He says he’s got a past, and I don’t want to push him into telling me anything he’s not ready to. But it’s starting to feel like anytime we move a step forward, we’re moving three steps back. I sigh in frustration, collecting myself. I toss a bit of water over our mess and make my way upstairs .

As I enter the bedroom, I notice I’m alone. I’m not sure where Xavier went, but I honestly don’t think I’m up for seeing him after that. My mind is in a very confused state, and I need to sort out all my feelings before I talk to anyone.

Normally, this is where Evie comes in. I would call her and tell her everything that happened, from the Christmas market to the sauna.

I would get some reprieve from her commentary about everything.

At the end of it though, she’d help me sort through my feelings, and what’s going on in my head.

Sometimes she’s even just stayed silent as I talk, and talk, and talk .

I just don’t have the spoons to talk with anyone tonight.

I shower quickly, braiding my hair and washing my face.

I spend a bit of extra time moisturizing my face and brushing my teeth before I enter the bedroom.

There is still no sign of Xavier, so I grab my headphones and my phone.

I check my messages, seeing the pictures Evie sent me of Winnie.

I tell her I miss her, and I’ll call her tomorrow.

Slipping under the covers, I find my comfort show and begin to sink into the mattress.

I don’t know when I fell asleep, but a dip in the bed tells me that Xavier has returned.

Removing my headphones, I remain still, waiting to see if he’ll say something.

Silence wraps itself around us, and I roll to stare at the ceiling.

Our breaths are deafening, and I debate whether I should say something first. Sneaking a glance at Xavier, all I see is his muscular back, and I don’t know if he’s asleep.

I close my eyes, losing myself to sleep…

and the wish that I could get the man beside me to open up.