Page 35 of Maybe, Probably (Love Me, Maybe #1)

Chapter Twenty One

Harper

I wake up oddly refreshed, and I decide to take things slow this morning. There isn’t anything planned until eleven, giving me plenty of time to dip downstairs and make a smoothie. The thought of it makes me giddy.

I spend the next forty-five minutes getting ready.

Armed with my smoothie, I soak in the moment, embracing the ease that is washing over me.

Since I have extra time, I make the decision to curl my hair.

I don’t normally style it this way; it takes so much effort and there is very little payoff.

The curls never last, no matter how I set them.

As I drain the remainder of my smoothie, I fluff out my curls and smile.

They turned out better than I had anticipated.

After putting on some light makeup, I check the time and see I still have about thirty minutes.

Perfect. I decide to call Evie and check on things. It rings twice before she picks up.

“Hey bitch. How’re you surviving over there?”

“Oh you know. Just had Dalton corner me in the kitchen last night stating he just wanted to explain himself. ”

A gasp comes from the other end of the line. “P lease . He really thinks after the shit he’s pulled, he deserves a moment of your time? Be so fucking for real.”

I snort, swiping a layer of gloss on my lips. “I know, right. He wasn’t getting the hint either. He kept pushing and pushing. He didn’t back off until Xavier appeared in the kitchen, telling him to get lost.”

“Fuck yes!” Evie squeals. “Please tell me you’ve sucked him off in thanks.”

A gasping choke leaves my lips. “ Evie! ”

“What?!” She cackles loudly. “Oh, come on Harps. That man is built like a god. And then you tell me he basically defended your honour, and you didn’t show your appreciation?”

“No I didn’t– I mean, I did say thank you. But I didn’t like, service him or anything.”

Evie’s chuckling stops, and a pause stretches between us. I check my phone to double check the call is still connected.

“Evie?”

“What did you do with him?” She asks, and I can hear her smirk come through the line

I freeze. “Uh– what? What are you talking about? I just told you that I thanked him.”

“No, no, no. I heard that, but your tone says there is something you’re not telling me.”

God damnit. I hate that, even through a phone, this woman can tell when I’m not telling her something.

I don’t know whether I should tell her about the other night in the hot tub, or if I should tell her about last night with what I saw him doing in the shower.

I’m so in my head with deciding what to tell Evie, I don’t even hear her continue her line of questioning.

It’s not until she speaks louder that she breaks through my concentration.

“Hello? Earth to Harper.”

Sighing, I start putting all my makeup away. “Sorry. Yes, there is something I need to tell you, just –” I pause, looking out the bathroom door to ensure I’m alone.“There may have been some – moments that happened the other night that I haven’t told you about yet.”

Evie squeals so loudly, I have to remove my phone from my ear, waiting until she stops. “Oh my God, please tell me every juicy detail. How big was he? What did you do? What did he do?”

“Okay firstly, ouch to my ear drums.” Looking around the bathroom, goosebumps break out along my skin as I think about what happened here, not even twelve hours earlier. I take a deep breath before I continue, “Secondly, there may have been a moment of…friction between us .”

“What the hell does that even mean? Have you guys done anything or not?”

A laugh escapes from my mouth before I can stop it. “So impatient. We were in the hot tub, relaxing and talking. Then, he told me I could sit closer so we didn’t have to talk so loud.”

“Sure. Makes sense,” Evie says, keeping things light as she encourages me. “Go on.”

I spend the next couple minutes explaining what happened.

How he told me to watch the noises that come out of my mouth or he wouldn’t be able to control himself.

The way he called me Harps but I reminded him that wasn’t my name.

That I wanted ‘babydoll’ to fall from his lips, I tell her the moment he pulled me onto his lap, guiding me as I ground myself on his shaft, and my orgasm hit me so hard, I saw stars.

“ Shiiiiit. ”

“I know, right. It’s been crazy, and the tension is crazy.” I pause for a moment, taking a breath before I continue. “I know this is supposed to be fake dating, but the moments we’re alone? When there's no one around? It feels so real . It’s hard to tell the difference between the lines, you know?”

“You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”

“ What ? Noo. No. I’m not. We’re just getting along so well. It just gets confusing.”

“Mhmm.” Evie doesn’t believe a word coming out of my mouth.

It’s true, though. Xavier and I get along so well, and the need for us to present as a fake relationship only takes up eight percent of our time together.

“Evie. Stop. I can’t have you in my head right now, making me question everything. This is for show. It’s to get his mom off his back, and a little rub in the face to Dalton.” I don’t bother keeping the bite out of my voice. “That’s it. There’s no way he feels anything more.”

“Okay well. When you’re ready to admit your real feelings for him. I’ll be here. I can’t wait to tell you I told you so. ”

I huff. “I gotta go, Eve. I’m heading to a Christmas market with Xavier’s mom, and I gotta find gifts. I promise I’ll message you later. Give Winnie all the kisses for me. I love you!”

“Yes, I love you too. We’ll catch up later.”

Once I’m off the phone, I take a moment to collect myself. This is for show and nothing more. There’s no way he feels anything more. Everything that’s happened has just been because we get caught in the heat of the moment. It’s just us sticking to the facade we agreed on.

It can’t be anything other than that.

This Christmas market is something else.

There are so many local crafters, I don’t even know where to start.

Not to mention, I don’t even know how to begin finding the perfect gift for everyone.

Originally, I had planned to wander the booths, making notes on what could be a good gift.

I quickly realized that I’m not sure what anyone, and in particular, Xavier, likes.

I managed to sneak off and buy something for Penelope when she wasn’t looking.

She had shown interest in these cute little handmade blown wine glasses, so I bought her a set of those.

I’ll ask Xavier what kind of wine she drinks and get her a bottle.

I still have a couple days before Christmas, so there’s time.

To my utter disappointment, when I catch up with Penelope again, she isn’t alone.

Chloe is standing beside her. As I get closer, I hear how she went for a morning nap but woke up in time to leave with us.

She drones on, telling us how the baby makes her so tired.

I mean, that could be true, but part of me wonders if she’s tired because she went out last night. Again.

Chloe looks at me with disdain on her face, and she barely acknowledges my existence. I’m boxed out as we walk down the aisles because she makes it her mission to prevent me from walking alongside her and Penelope. I try not to let it get to me .

We’re about to leave for lunch, and I’ve all but given up on hope of finding something for Xavier as a Christmas gift.

I notice a little table off the exit that has a display full of crocheted little plushies.

There’s an adorable little donkey grabbing my attention.

It has an uncanny resemblance to Clyde, and I can’t stop myself from buying it.

I smile to myself as the vendor hands me the bag to take him home in.

This is perfect .

I hear a snort come from just ahead, looking up to find Chloe looking at me in pure disgust and disbelief.

“Who the hell are you even going to give that ugly thing to? Wait. Please don’t tell me you’re giving that to us for the baby.

I’ll save you the time. We don’t want it.

” She says to me, whispering so that Penelope doesn’t hear.

She’s a couple steps ahead of us, and when she turns back she smiles at us.

She probably thinks we’re trying to get along, when in reality, her daughter is just being a bitch.

“I know it’s hard for you to believe this, but trust me when I say that I wouldn’t waste my money getting you—or Dalton—a present.” The snapback feels so good. God. I still can’t believe this is who Dalton left me for.

Chloe’s steps falter slightly before she bristles and spins on me, stopping me in my tracks.

“Oh please. I know how desperate you are. It’s so sad.

Dalton upgraded from a desperate fat leech, and now she’s trying to worm her way into his life again.

What is your game? Pretend you’re over him by dating my brother and lure him back?

” She takes a step closer as she leans in to whisper in my ear.

“My brother has to be delusional. There’s no way he genuinely is attracted to someone like you.

Not with your…looks.” She leans back, crinkling her nose as she peruses me from head to toe.

“If I were you,” she continues, as she grabs a compact mirror from her bag to check her makeup.

“I would just give it up and admit defeat. Pack your bags and take your miserable excuse of a person back to your pathetic little life.” Chloe closes her compact with an aggressive snap.

“Stop trying to butt your way into my family. ”

She gives me a serene smile and then walks off in the other direction, telling her mom she can’t stomach food right now and needs to go home instead.

Penelope and I still go to lunch, but the time blurs.

I order a small salad but can’t bring myself to finish it.

My stomach is in knots, and everything Chloe plays on a loop in my head.

The instant we get back to the house, I run upstairs.

I do my grounding exercise to try and center myself, but it only does so much, and I still feel off-centered about it all.

Maybe doing some laps in the pool will close off my mind.

I’m not a professional swimmer, but the weightlessness of swimming in the pool has always calmed me.

I dig through the dresser and find the two-piece I’d brought.

The high waisted black bottoms pairs nicely with the deep red formed bikini top.

I braid my hair so it’s out of my face before grabbing a towel, and heading toward the pool.

The area is unoccupied when I arrive, and my shoulders instantly relax at the idea of having the area to myself.

I need to feel the hurt and build up my walls again. Chloe wasn’t wrong. I don’t have what most would consider the ideal body. Newsflash: I’m well aware of it. I’ve put in the work to be confident in my skin, but sometimes, the cracks allow the pain to seep through.

The moment that hit hardest today was when she attacked me, saying there wasn’t any way that Xavier actually found me appealing. It’s something I’ve been questioning myself over the last week as things have progressed between us.

I place my towel down onto one of the chairs before heading to the pool. I sit on the side, dipping my feet into the water. The water is cool, and I inch forward slowly, before fully lowering my body into the water. The air hisses out of my body as the chill coasts up my body.

When I have acclimated to the water, I push off toward the deeper end of the pool.

My arms cut through the water in a breast stroke, propelling me forward.

When I’m in the middle of the deep end, I turn over, floating on my back.

The surrounding noises become muffled as my breathing becomes louder with my ears being underwater .

I let my mind focus on the different sounds from underwater. The gentle humming coming from my immediate surroundings starts to help slow my heart rate and relax. I spot movement in my peripherals, so I bring myself into an upright position before wading in the water to see what the movement is.

I see Chloe and Dalton putting their towels down.

The calmness that I had acquired while floating by myself diminished the moment I realized it was them.

Chloe is wrapping herself around him, pulling him down for a kiss.

My lips curl in annoyance. It’s fine. I don’t need to talk to them while they’re here.

The pool is big enough for us all to have a relaxing time.

“Dalty babyyy,” Chloe simpers. “Come swim with me.” I can hear the sickly sweet tone in her voice. I don’t hear him reply, but a couple moments later, I hear the uneven rhythmic sounds of the water moving, telling me I’m no longer alone in the pool.

Over the next couple minutes, surprisingly, nothing really happens. Chloe and Dalton don’t stay in the water for long, as Chloe begins complaining of wrinkles. I swear my eyes almost roll all the way to the back of my head.

Soft music plays as they both just sit there, looking at their phones. Deciding I’ve had enough of this whole socialization, I make my way to the edge of the pool, climbing out. As soon as I’m standing up straight, I hear it.

“Mooooo.”

My back straightens as Chloe begins to cackle.

All I can hear is the beating of my heart in my ears, the distinct sting coming to the back of my eyes.

“Fuck” I mumble to myself, turning my body from them as I start to head back to my room. I can’t deal with this right now. Staring at my feet, I move quickly, not paying attention to the world around me.

I run face first into Xavier.

I avoid eye contact as I try to move around him, but he grabs my chin with his finger and thumb and brings my eyes up, meeting his. A storm of blue threatens to break loose as he maintains eye contact with me. His nostrils flare and his mouth forms a thin line.

“What happened?” He demands in a tone that would normally send a shiver down my spine. Right now? I just want to disappear.

I try my best to put on a convincing smile. “It’s nothing. I’m just not feeling the greatest, so I was going to lay down.”

“Babydoll, “ He begins, a level of concern softening his face.

My bottom lip begins to tremble. “Please don’t. Just let me go.” The words are no louder than a whisper. “ Please. ” His jaw tightens, running his gaze over me once more before he nods, and lets me go.

I slip past him, high-tailing it as fast as I can.