Page 84 of Mask and the Magnolia

I don’t talk to anyone else to figure out how, either.

Des tries to talk to me.

I like him, I think there’s a chance we could be friends, but he’s Korvin’s. The only time I feel okay about talking to him is when Korvin is there, that way he knows I’m not trying to take him away.

I would never do that.

Icouldneverdo that. I just want Korvin to have what he wants, for him to be happy here. Maybe if he stays happy, he’ll keep me around.

That’s all I want.

To be near Korvin.

He’s the first person to ever give me the time of day, to treat me like a human being and not somelowlybeta bitchlike Nurse Jones says I am.He’s the first alpha I’ve spoken to without him speaking first. The first one who didn’t want to hurt me.

The only alpha I’ve met who didn’t want to use me.

I knew he was different, though.

I’m not sure how but I felt it in my gut that he wasn’t going to be like the rest.

Even when I heard about why he’s here, what he did to get locked up in the first place.

I heard what everyone did.

I wasn’t supposed to hear but I was pacing the halls and couldn’t help it.

The doctors were in their office, going over our files right before we started therapy. They said a lot of things about us, nice things before they even knew us, and they questioned why we were all here. Everything made sense to me; why the other alphas got locked up. Spree or serial killers, mass murderers in some cases like mine. Every crime they listed made sense, even Des’s spree where he was listening to the voices in his head telling him to find and kill members of the Chicago Rippers fortwo years before he was caught. There was only one thing that didn’t sound right to me.

I heard them say Korvin killed a pregnant lady and her kids at a barbecue.

I’d only seen him maybe a handful of times at that point, and I knew that wasn’t true.

We all earned our places here, I couldn’t argue that if I wanted to, but none of us kill kids. I’ve been around guys who hurt kids, more than anyone else in this building, I’d bet, and they’re different from us up here on Ward C.

Guys like us, even with urges and impulses that aren’t normal, or tempers that can’t be controlled, we have a weird unspoken code we follow. I think I heard a guard say it’s like honor amongst thieves or something.

But I know better, anyway.

Someone who hurts kids would hurt me, and even though none of the other residents don’t want to do that, they don’t look at me like a human being, and that’s what makes Korvin different.

And he’s done nothing but prove that multiple times over, and I just want to make him happy because of it.

I wring my hands as I watch him run, the way he moves like a well oiled machine. Dangerous and beautiful.

Maybe that’s it.

I’m not beautiful, not like him or Des. I don’t even come close to them and I know Dr. Reynolds or Dr. Lowe are on an entirely different level than everyone else.

They’re smart, too.

I’m not. I grew up here, I didn’t go to school. Even before, when I lived with my parents, they didn’t send me to school. That’s how people figured out there were problems at home. Not in time. They were too late to save them or anyone else.

They were way too late to save me.

Then I came here and instead of being relieved or grateful to be somewhere I could finally breathe, I was lost. Lost and alone, with a huge fucking target on my back.

So, I kept doing what I’d learned to do.