Page 20 of Married to the Alien Mountain Man (Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides #5)

20

JAYA

I encountered two main problems while trying to give Oaken husband lessons.

For one thing, the dude was busy . Running a ranch this size was no joke, and some days he didn’t finish his chores until it was time to set up his tent beside the Lavariya – something I continued trying, and failing, to convince him not to do.

The second problem was that, despite how hard he tried to follow my instructions, it somehow never quite worked out.

Take flirting, for instance. I’d told him flirting was a fun way to let someone know that you’re attracted to them. I’d told him to practise on me. And then he’d levelled me with a burning look and said, “I think you are beautiful. And I would very much like to perform cunni-linguine on you.”

After recovering from what I was terrifyingly certain had been a mini-stroke brought on by his words, I’d stammered, “Why don’t we try something a little bit more subtle?”

Then, batting my eyelashes, I’d made my voice high and breathy. “Hey, big guy.”

But in return, he’d just blinked several times in rapid succession – so violently that I began to worry he’d gotten some dust in his eyes – then said, “Hello, small female.”

My Oaken was quite the literal chap. And while I was finding him more and more charming by the day, I could tell that I wasn’t making much headway turning my favourite green guy into an alien Casanova. His specific brand of awkward, eager sincerity might have been becoming my own personal catnip, but what if the human lady he set his heart on didn’t have the same weird-yet-excellent taste that I did?

What if she didn’t see how special he was? What if she couldn’t get past his horrifically humiliating requests to give her cunni-linguine?

What if she didn’t get ticklish flutters in her belly every time he smiled? What if she didn’t dream about the way he’d carried her home their first night together? What if she didn’t wake up looking forward to seeing his tent outside her door?

What if she didn’t care about him like I-

“You are making a very serious face.”

“Holy – Oaken! When the hell did you get there?”

“I always set my tent up around this time.”

I swallowed and nodded. I’d been staring sightlessly into my cup of chai, agonizing over the last three days and my many, many failures as Oaken’s relationship coach. I hadn’t realized the time. I was sitting on the grass, leaning back against the Lavariya’s side. Lala was currently inside, snoozing on a charging dock below deck.

It was just Oaken and me.

And, fuck me, he looked so good. And not just in a shirtless hottie way, which he definitely did. But also in a holy-shit-it-hurts-to-look-at-him-sometimes sort of way. The setting sun cast his hide in hushed shades of green and gold and bronze. My fingers ached with the desire to touch him.

“You should sleep in your bed,” I told him, the same way I’d told him every night.

I expected him to mumble one of his usual replies to that. But instead, he looked at me with white, laser-like eyes and growled, “ You should sleep in my bed.”

I nearly fucking dropped my tea.

“E-Excuse me?” I asked. My face went hot.

So did my clit.

“Was that not good?” Oaken asked. “I was attempting a seduction.”

“I don’t think we’ve covered any seduction techniques in the lessons yet!” I squawked.

Oaken flicked his tail.

“I was improvising.”

Holy. Maybe he didn’t need any lessons after all. If he could just cut through all the adorable awkwardness and order his wife to get into his bed with those bright white eyes and that sultry-smoke voice…

Yeah. Wow. That might fucking do it.

“But in all seriousness,” Oaken went on, plunging his tent posts into the ground and beginning to stretch leather across the tent’s frame, “you are welcome to sleep in my bed anytime.”

Anytime , he said.

As if I had all the time in the world with him.

As if I wouldn’t be leaving in just a few short days.

Not that I was going to think about that right now.

I’d tried not to think about it for a while.

“Oaken?”

He’d just been entering into his tent for the night. But at the sound of my voice, he halted, then hurled himself back towards me.

“Yes?”

“Do you…” Ugh. I’m an idiot. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“A… movie? Like a film? I read about those in the book.”

“Yeah. Like a film. Movie dates are fairly common among humans. It might be something good for you to, you know, practise.”

Never mind the fact that I wasn’t thinking about him practising anything right now.

Never mind the fact that I just wanted him to stay with me for a while.

He hesitated. I braced for rejection.

But then, quietly, with very white eyes, he asked, “Would I get to watch it with you?”

Oh, my God. This big, green, loveable dork.

“Yes, with me,” I said, laughing with relief. “Who else are you going to practise your dating techniques on? Lala’s asleep on her charging dock.” I gave him a grim sort of smile and then stood, saluting him with my cup. “I’m all you’ve got.”

He smiled at me like that was the best damn thing he’d heard all day.

And I didn’t know what the hell to do with that.

So I just led him inside the ship. And then I closed the door.

“Make yourself comfy,” I told him, putting down my tea so that I could unfold my bed from the wall. Once it was down, I heaped my blankets and pillows on top of it.

“Where?” Oaken asked. He glanced towards the chair he’d sat in the last time he was in here.

I didn’t want him to sit in the chair.

“Um.” I licked my lips. “The bed. That’s the official way to do it. Humans have to lie together on the bed for a movie date.”

Liar.

Karma was definitely going to kick my ass one day. If I ever got reincarnated, it was not going to be as something fun. I’d probably come back as some kind of dung-eating beetle. Or a bot, like Lala, bound by her programming to serve a pilot as annoying as me.

Oaken moved towards the bed, then paused.

“My trousers are rather dusty from the day. I don’t want to get your bed dirty.”

“It’s OK. Just take them off if you want.” I didn’t mind if he was just wearing Zabrian-style boxers or something. “I’m going to put my pyjamas on. Be right back.”

I passed my small rack of clothing. My hand almost landed on my cozy, frumpy jammies.

But at the last minute, I grabbed my cute set of silky red shorts and matching tank top instead.

For absolutely no reason at all.

In the Lavariya’s tiny bathroom, I sped through my night time routine. I’d showered and washed my hair in here this morning, using the Lavariya’s internal water supply and sustainable filtration systems. But I decided to give my body another quick rinse now as well, just to get the dust of the day off of me. That only took about thirty seconds, then I dried off, put on some lotion, brushed my teeth, slipped into my pretty PJs, and went back out to find Oaken.

Oaken’s boots, trousers, and hat had been neatly placed by the bed.

The bed Oaken was now sitting upon.

He was a little tense.

He was a lot naked.

“Oaken! You!” Full sentences had apparently left the vicinity. Along with most of my brain and my shredded sense of willpower. I devoted what little strength I had left to keeping my eyes off his exposed crotch. “Why are you naked?!”

“You told me to remove my trousers!”

“Well, yeah! But I didn’t think that meant… You guys don’t wear anything underneath?!”

“Why would I wear something underneath?” he asked, seeming genuinely confused. “The trousers cover everything I need them to.”

Oh, they covered things alright. Things that were very much not covered at this moment.

Apparently, Oaken was noticing my own more subtle lack of coverage. His eyes glowed white, tracing a heated line across my mostly-bare shoulders. They coasted down to my navel, then moved to my bare legs.

The not-covered thing between Oaken’s legs that I was definitely not looking at visibly twitched at the bottom of my eyeline.

I was being tested. Cruelly, cruelly tested.

“Apologies,” Oaken said, a little hoarsely. “I feel that I have done something wrong.” He stood up, and all at once I was confronted with seven-feet-something of pure, hot, naked Zabrian male.

My last little bit of crispy, brittle willpower snapped. Greedily, I took in the sight of him.

I’d seen him shirtless every single day, but it hit different when that sculpted torso was now perched atop bare, trunk-like thighs.

And there, jutting out on an alluring angle from between those mouthwatering thighs…

Was his cock.

It was the colour of luxurious Old-Earth green velvet, fist-thick at the base, and tapered to tip that looked like it would ease deliciously into me before the rest of that girth caught up and made me scream. Below the velvety shaft was a darker swell of flesh. Above was a… tentacle?

Tentacle emojis.

Cock tail!

All at once, Darcy’s diagram made perfect sense to me.

She’d sent me a hand-drawn Zabrian dick pic.

I’d kind of thought she was trolling me before. But now, I was oddly touched and more than a little grateful she’d bothered.

Oaken’s larger tail, the one I was much more familiar with, snaked across the floor until it grasped his pants. He lifted them up, holding them in front of himself so that I could no longer see his big, weird, glorious package.

“Does this mean,” he asked miserably, “that I am no longer invited to the movie date?”

Holy fucking hell. Somebody just… Just shoot me.

How could he be so sexy and so adorable at the same time? My heart was going to explode. Literally explode. Into glitter or confetti or sprinkles or something.

That was how this dingdong made me feel.

How my husband made me feel.

“Of course you’re still invited to the movie date,” I whispered, my throat suddenly tight. “You can just… Um… Get under the blanket, I guess.”

Relief washed over his features. He put his pants back down on the floor and slid beneath the blanket.

Now, I just had to join him.

And I would join him. Because this was completely fine. Absolutely normal. Practically commonplace, in fact, to have a gorgeous Zabrian male who I happened to be married to naked in my bed.

Only, I didn’t account for how big he was and how apparently not-big my bed was. When I slipped under the blanket, there was nowhere to go but directly against his side.

Which I probably should have anticipated, considering the size of the man.

But…

I’d never had a man in my bed before.

I’d never even let a man step foot on the Lavariya before, unless it was just for work. My dates usually involved lots of booze and lots of banging, anywhere but here.

Maybe I’m not actually the best person to be giving Oaken dating advice after all…

“Now what do I do?”

I barely suppressed a startled moan. Oaken was literally breathing down my neck. I’d put my hair up while I was in the shower, and his words kissed along my exposed skin.

“Now you just… You just relax,” I breathed, grabbing my comms tablet from its spot beside my bed. “I’ll find something for us. Oh! What about an Old-Earth cowboy flick?” I scrolled through the entertainment database on my comms tablet, momentarily distracted from Oaken’s hot, naked nearness. “That might be kind of interesting for you. See what things are similar and what things are different.”

Before meeting Oaken, I hadn’t been much of a cowboy culture connoisseur, alien or otherwise. So I didn’t have a favourite movie to pick from the western-themed options. I selected one at random, then clipped the tablet into the stand above my bed so that we could snuggle down and watch it. Once the tablet was in place, I lay down, then patted the pillow beside me. When we were both all settled in, I would push play.

Oaken lay down with me. And the happiness I felt in response to that simple thing…

It was practically surreal.

I turned on my side and wiggled a little closer. Wanting to catch and hold onto that feeling. Lightning in a bottle.

This was just so cozy. And comforting. And enthralling and alarming and wonderful. A magical mix of contradictions.

Just like Oaken.

I felt safe and scared at the same time. Like I was teetering, about to fall from a very great height…

But I knew that someone would be waiting there to catch me.

“You can put your arm around me. If you want,” I whispered, my pulse throbbing in my head.

And between my legs.

Oaken’s chest hitched. His arm tensed, then slowly slid beneath my body. Without his arm between us, I was rolled into the slice of space against his side. My head fit so naturally in the place between his shoulder and chest. I sighed, resting my hand on his abdomen. My pussy squeezed when I felt the muscles there contract beneath my touch.

My pussy just about combusted when the blanket twitched, then shifted…

Because something had shifted beneath it.

“Sorry,” Oaken said, suddenly breathing very hard. “You seem to be… activating my loins.”

“What?!”

“My loins,” he repeated thickly. “They are activated.”

“I heard you the first time!”

He turned his head my way and gave me a bewildered look. “But you said-”

“I know what I said! I just… I’ve never heard it phrased quite that way before.”

“Oh. How should I have phrased it instead, then?” His throat bobbed on a hard swallow, and his voice went hoarse as he said, “You’re making my cock hard.”

Oh. Oh no.

We needed to go back to the goofy idea that his dick was powering up like a ship’s engine, and we needed to do it right fucking now . Because hearing Oaken say shit like, “You’re making my cock hard,” was so astoundingly hot it should have been illegal.

Somebody needed to call the warden on his ass.

No, somebody needed to call the warden on my ass. Because not only was I not putting more space between us to let his loins deactivate…

I was sliding my hand lower.

But… What the hell was I supposed to do?! The man’s loins were activated! I couldn’t leave him hanging with activated loins! That would just be cruel!

“Tell me to stop if any of this makes you uncomfortable,” I said huskily as my fingertips skimmed lower, lower, lower. All the way under the blanket.

“I am not uncomfortable,” he choked out instantly. “No discomfort here. None at all! I am extremely comfortable and can assure you that-”

His words were cut off by a strangled gasp when my fingers found his cock.

He was incredibly hot here, smooth and heavy, the flesh leaping in response to my touch. One stroke, and he stiffened to what I had to imagine was his full size. Frantic flesh bumped along the backs of my knuckles. His cock tail was going wild down there.

I needed to get a better look.

Sitting up, I wrenched the blanket back. Oaken’s shaft jutted upwards, throbbing in my hand. His cock tail writhed, as if it had a mind of its own. Experimentally, I uncurled my pinky finger from Oaken’s shaft.

The cock tail seized on my finger instantly. It tightened, and at the same moment, moisture appeared at Oaken’s dark green tip. Oaken groaned, hips lurching upwards. He was so brutally tense, nearly shaking already, just from having my hand on him.

I wanted to do more than that.

Frankly, right now, I wanted to suck his fucking soul out through his dick.

I wanted to blow his mind so completely that he was never able to forget me.

So that even when he was happily married to some other hot human in the future, he still sometimes came back to this moment.

Which was a shitty, selfish thing to think.

But I thought it anyway.

I crawled over his thigh, kneeling between his legs.

“Oaken,” I breathed against his slick tip.

“ Blast ,” he hissed.

“I’m going to give you a blow job. If that’s alright with you.”

He wrenched his head forward to look at me. Wild, white eyes met mine.

“What’s a blow job?”

I snorted softly, then gave his cock a swift stroke. He threw his head back on the pillow with a shudder.

“You know about cunnilingus,” I asked, sliding my fist up and down, “but you don’t know about blow jobs? It’s like the male version of that. When your wife licks and sucks you.”

I guess he liked the sound of that. His hips spasmed, and generous precum dribbled from the dark slit at his tip.

“There was not… I did not see that… In the book.”

Sneaky Tasha. Making sure the cowboys were more educated on eating pussy than they were on getting their dicks sucked. What a most excellent human-Zabrian liaison. Truly, an ally to all womankind.

And it made this all the more exciting. Because Oaken hadn’t been expecting it.

“Can I show you?” I murmured, letting my lips graze the fat head of his cock. Just a little. Just enough to taste the alien salt of him. To feel the desperate throb of him, bucking against my teeth.

His answer was a broken groan. “ Please. ”

Ever polite, this husband of mine.

I took the head of his cock into my mouth and sucked.

“Empire help me…That’s…Ah!” Oaken’s words melted into moans as I worked him. My tongue explored the exquisitely smooth tip, lapping gently at the slit. His cock tail spasmed on my pinky, and a jet of molten fluid hit my tongue. Oaken went entirely rigid, and a gentle-yet-insistent hand came to my head.

“Jaya, you have to move now,” Oaken said on a guttural growl.

“Or what?” I said, my words garbled around his flesh.

“Or I’m going to spill more in your mouth.”

Heat went through me like a stunner’s beam. From my head, right down my spine, to my clit. I moaned, and gave him a big, long suck.

I wanted to show him that it was OK to come in my mouth. It was OK to let go for once.

It was OK to want this. Even if he didn’t really want me.

But even if, unlike my stupid self, he hadn’t let a crush on his spouse-of-convenience turn into an incurable and possibly fatal case of feelings, he was at least somewhat attracted to me. I’d managed to activate his loins, at least. And he clearly liked having my mouth on his dick. He’d given up on trying to nudge my head away, and instead was possessively gripping my scalp. When I risked a glance upwards, I found his eyes already on me, watching as he panted, his hips rocking.

I’d never wanted to make somebody come this badly. I’d never been this desperate to please someone.

I used every trick I knew and even a few I made up on the spot. I licked, sucked, squeezed. Played with the sac below his shaft, nibbled on his cock tail, lovingly traced the throbbingly swollen veins on his shaft with my tongue.

The man came in under a minute. And I was probably just a little too proud of myself for that fact, considering the poor guy had never had a girl even look at his dick before, let alone suck it like a fucking straw. But still, I let myself revel in a moment of heady, horny pride as Oaken shook violently and then fully released in my mouth.

It was hard to tell, because his sounded broken. Absolutely shattered.

But I was pretty sure the moment he let go, he said my name.

I couldn’t be certain, though. Very quickly, I required all my concentration to control the seemingly-endless flow of Oaken’s come into my mouth. I swallowed some, but was soon overwhelmed. Gasping, I pulled my mouth off of him with a wet sound. I massaged him, guiding the rest of his come to splatter onto abdominal muscles contracting so hard it almost looked painful.

His flesh was still quite firm in my hand, but when he seemed to be done spewing, I reached over to grab a tissue from near the bed. I gave my lips a quick swipe, then started mopping up the come from Oaken’s belly.

“Don’t,” he panted. “You don’t… have to do that…”

“I don’t mind,” I said. It was sincere, too. Even though he’d already come, I still wanted to please him. I still wanted to take care of him. “You just lie back and let me be your good little wife for a minute.”

I should not have taken such pleasure in the idea of being Oaken’s “good little wife” when I was barely even his wife.

When I was supposed to be preparing him for his next wife.

His real one.

But for now, I was married to him. And for now, I would enjoy it.

“There,” I whispered when I was finished.

Lying down like he had been, it was easy to forget how fucking big he was. I was taller than average for a human woman, but he made me feel tiny so tiny when he sat up.

“Is it allowed… for me to touch you too? Is that part of the movie date?” he asked.

“Do you want to?”

“Empire, yes. ”

So straightforward. So earnest. So able to knock down every defence with nothing but his sweetness.

“It’s allowed,” I breathed.

“Thank the blazes,” he groaned roughly. “I want to use my mouth on you.”

He wanted to…

Use his mouth …

“If you say cunni-linguine,” I squeaked, my brain melting into soup, “I am going to lose my mind.”

“Oh. Sorry.” His face crumpled with concentration. “Cunni…”

“Oaken-”

“Cunni-lingonberries.”

“Oh, God, please stop,” I moaned. “Just say, ‘go down on you.’”

“Alright,” he panted. “Jaya… Can I…” A heated hunger entered his gaze. Desperate. Demanding. “Let me go down on you.”

My mouth went bone dry.

Between my legs?

Complete opposite.

I licked my lips. “OK,” I whispered. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my pyjama shorts and shimmied them down my legs. Succumbing to a sudden and uncharacteristic bout of shyness, I pressed my legs together.

Oaken’s hands rose so slowly, the motion smooth and careful. Like I was an animal he didn’t want to frighten. I gasped, nipples puckering, when the warm, rough surface of his calloused palms and fingers came to my knees, sliding up my thighs, exerting soft-yet-demanding pressure.

“Open up for me,” he rasped.

Who the hell was I to deny him?

Fighting a moan, I let my legs fall open.

Oaken’s eyes zeroed in on my pussy. His breath punched out of him. His fingers tightened on my thighs, a reaction that seemed involuntary. Just like the vigorous jerking of his cock.

Scrambling to stitch the last bits of my sense back together, I tried to make this a teachable moment.

“So, um, this is-”

“I know,” Oaken groaned, his thumb going to my clit and rubbing mind-numbingly slowly. “The clitorolla.”

I was too far-gone to bother correcting him. My legs were already trembling. His touch was so eager, so unschooled, raw and experimental and hungry. His calloused skin dragged across my swollen flesh, and ecstasy speared through me.

“Oh!” I gasped, leaning back on my elbows. Then, I gave up entirely, falling flat on my back as Oaken bent over my body. My whooshed out when his hot, open mouth met my inner thigh.

And then moved up, up, up…

Until lips replaced his thumb and he was kissing my clit. Whimpering, I buried my fingers in his thick, long hair, my hips arching upwards of their own accord.

I felt the ragged release of Oaken’s groan against my body. The kiss became a desperate, open-mouthed sucking motion, that legitimately made me think I might pass out.

He paused for a moment, squeezing my quivering hips. “Is this right?” His tongue poked out of his mouth, stroking and swirling over my clit.

“Yes, that’s, holy fucking shit , that’s right!”

“Is it alright if I… I want to put my tongue lower,” he panted. “I want to taste you from the inside.”

I almost fucking came.

I nodded, then realized he might not see it.

“Yes, please, go ahead!” I mewled, writhing under his strong hands, his breath torturing my most sensitive places. “Please Oaken!”

At this point, I was so past the realm of sanity that I probably would have let that man put his tongue anywhere. I would have let him try to lick my fucking eyeball if he’d wanted.

But luckily, he didn’t want to lick my eyeball.

He wanted to lick my pussy.

Liquid bliss coursed through my veins as Oaken brought his hungry mouth to my core. His moan of pleasure vibrated all the way inside me.

And then, something else was inside me. Sliding, stroking, thrusting. Oaken’s tongue desperately fucked me. Hard fingers dug into me. I locked my legs around his head, grinding helplessly, my orgasm chasing me down like a galloping shuldu. My insides contracted, trying to draw him even deeper as pleasure cracked me right down the middle. I came, so fucking hard against his face, clamping down on his tongue like I would never let it go.

Lost to sensation, I didn’t at first notice that Oaken had moved his right hand from my hip and was blindly feeling around on the bed for something. Blinking through an orgasmic haze, I tried to focus my eyes on him. Oaken made a strangled noise, then his tail shot over the side of the bed. When it came back, it was dragging his hat with it. In a clumsy, feverish movement, Oaken shoved the hat against his crotch and violently shuddered.

“Oaken,” I croaked, my pussy still trying its darndest to milk the man’s tongue. “Did you just come… in your hat ?”

Slowly, maybe even regretfully, he pulled his tongue away and sat up, still holding his hat in front of himself.

“I didn’t want to stop,” he admitted hoarsely. “And I didn’t want to make your bed all wet.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that,” I laughed weakly, feeling the sopping wetness between my own thighs. “Why don’t you go in the bathroom over there and try to clean your hat? I’ll change the sheets.”

Once I regain use of my legs, that is…

Oaken got out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. Before he went inside, he stopped and asked, “Is the movie date over now?”

“Have we watched the movie yet?”

“No.”

I smiled.

“Then no, Oaken. It isn’t over yet.”