Page 45 of Manhattan State of Mind

A pang of guilt hits me. Now I’ve worried my little sister.

She knows about my demons but never sees them.

I always shield her, keeping her away from my dark side. Ever since we lost our parents and I took on the role of Maggie’s guardian at nineteen, it’s been my responsibility to protect her from everything. And even though she’s now in her thirties, only four years younger than me, I still treat her like my little sister.

“I can only imagine what you’re going through,” Maggie offers. “But remember, Lucy needs space and time to heal. Just be patient.”

“Patience? That’s not one of my strengths if you haven’t noticed.”

She doesn’t back down. “Feeling sorry for yourself won’t help. You need to keep your focus on Lucy. She needs you, even if she’s blind to it right now.”

I let out a dry chuckle. The irony is overwhelming. This situation is more nerve-racking than death, if that’s even possible. Death, at least, makes sense.

But this? This is a torment designed specifically for me. Grief for the living and breathing, yet utterly unreachable. A woman who walks, talks, breathes but doesn’t remember.

“She’s completely blocked me out. She doesn’t want to remember us.”

“Now listen here, you grump, that’s ridiculous. I’ve seen the two of you together. Lucy cares for you deeply.”

That was before I fucked it all up.

As I steal a glance at Lucy, her furrowed brow and intense focus stirs something within me. She’s in the zone, her dark brown hair cascading over her shoulders, laser-focused on the task at hand. Her smile, a rare treat, is worth any gamble I’ve ever taken.

She’s gorgeous, not in that obvious pin-up girl way, but it’s the kind that sets my heart pounding.

There’s an unpretentiousness about her. Would she have bailed on me like my ex-wife did when my first company went belly up?

Instincts tell me otherwise.

Instincts tell me Lucy would stick by me even if my empire crumbled overnight. And in this volatile market, you can never be too cocky.

I’m lucky enough to know the woman behind that stunning face, even if she doesn’t remember what’s behind mine.

She once looked at me with a fire in those baby blues that made me willing to hand over my kingdom. Now all I see is wariness.

A long, uncomfortable silence hangs on Maggie’s end of the line. “So what do the docs advise?”

“Gradual reintroduction,” I reply, my eyes never leaving Lucy. “Let her rediscover her memories at her own pace. Problem is she looks at me like I’m some kind of monster.”

“Killian told me everyone at the office is terrified of you. The Big Bad Wolf,” she jokes.

I respond with a grunt, devoid of any humor.

From the corner of my eye, I see Lucy having a heated conversation with the data protection guy. He places a sign on her desk and she counters by trying to return it.

Maggie’s voice is all sympathy. “Just hang in there. Give her time, she’ll start to feel something. Let the treatment do its thing.”

Easier said than done. I’ve built a life, a fortune, an empire on my impatience, on my drive for results, and now the same tenacity grates against the reality of my situation. It’s like being at the casino table, with the house having all the odds.

“Her memories are still there, JP,” she continues, hating silence. “They’re locked away, yes, but they’re there. I know they’ll come back. I just know.”

“Maggie, don’t presume to fucking know,” I snap with a biting tone. She’s trying to help in her usual, optimistic Maggie way. She’s always been the one to see the silver lining, even when we were kids. When our parents passed, when my first business venture tanked, when my ex walked out on me, she always had faith.

“Sorry. I’m just… I’m so fucking unsure right now. I’m drowning here. I don’t know how to navigate this.” I let out a harsh sigh. “I’m going to have to step this up. Create a situation where she has to be around me.”

“Like work meetings and having lunch together?” she asks excitedly.

“No.”