Page 134 of Manhattan State of Mind

I gently knock on her stall door. “I mean it. I’m not here to make fun or anything,” I insist. “I’m trying to help.”

There’s a silence that seems to last forever. Then, the door swings open. She’s standing there, not looking like she’s been crying. But she has.

“What do you want?” she demands.

I shift, uncomfortable. “Listen, I know we’ve had our differences. I’m dealing with this memory loss issue, and I really don’t need extra stress,” I confess. “I thought, you know, maybe we could try to get along.”

Her eyes narrow.

“I’m not trying to trick you,” I add hastily, raising my hands in surrender.

“Suddenly, after six years of constant taunts, you’re turning a new leaf?”

Her words hit me like a gut punch. Me? I’d always seen her as the one throwing jabs, not the other way around.

“Taylor, you’ve always been the one with the sharp tongue. Constantly prodding me about my work, my lack of promotion, my outfits… pretty much anything.”

She dismisses me with a scoff, checking her face in the mirror. “Any time I try to be friendly, I’m met with sarcasm. This team feels like a high school clique. It’s all about banter and fitting in. And God forbid if you want to better yourself. All you and Matty do is laugh at me.”

I fall silent, taken aback.

“I guess it escalated between us,” I say quietly. “It’s not me and Matty against you. Or the team against you. Or at least, it shouldn’t be.”

“It’s not just about you two against me,” she continues, “it’s the whole suits vs. us narrative. We all have to work together in this company. But you and Matty act like you’re somehow above the sales team.”

“The IT department gets made fun of all the time,” I retort, rolling my eyes. “How often does a sales guy tell me to ‘Just make it pretty pronto’? They’re dismissive.”

“Maybe rise above it then? Not everyone’s like that,” she retorts, a faint smile playing on her lips. “Steve from marketing called you ‘Wonder Woman,’ remember?”

I give a small smile. “I’ve been tempted to make that my email signature.”

She turns to me seriously. “You’re a hard worker, Lucy, and your output is excellent, but you worry too much about blending in with the team. You don’t even notice that Matty is holding you back. This is why you haven’t been promoted.”

I bristle, about to snap back, when her words hit home. A lump lodges itself in my throat.

Is she right?

I’ve been afraid to rock the boat, too busy trying to fit in, to make everyone like me. I’ve let Matty’s antics slide too many times.

I nod. “Okay, maybe I have been a bit of a doormat when it comes to Matty.”

Perhaps Angry Andy’s right. This place is like the Wild fucking West.

“Anyway, what do you really want? A promotion? A leadership role? You know it comes with more responsibilities, right? Matty will never take that leap. But do you want to?”

Her question strikes a chord. The truth is I don’t know what I want.

But I know one thing.

“I’d like us to start afresh,” I say after a pause. “Call a truce. Maybe we’ll never be friends, but this relationship right now isn’t a healthy dynamic. I’ll support you as project Lead.”

She smiles. “I’d like that a lot too. And hopefully, we can work out how to get you promoted if you do want to be Lead. And I’d like to be able to support you more with your memory loss. I think I've been on guard because I’ve always felt like when I try to be nice, it’ll just get thrown back in my face.”

“I probably would have,” I admit.

We smile at each other awkwardly. Not quite friends, but not quite enemies.

Enough of this soppy shit with Taylor. I clear my throat awkwardly as we head out together.