Page 12 of Mail-Order Brides Wishes (Montana Mail-Order Brides #7)

“It’s peaceful and almost welcoming here.

So unlike the gloomy place where my mother and stepmother are buried.

My grandparents took me to visit my mother’s grave on the first Sunday of the month.

I remember the headstones being so cold.

Many of them covered in green moss, clinging like tentacles of death.

” The pretend laugh she gave did little to hide her shudder.

He shifted closer, his elbow brushing hers.

She guessed it was intentional and leaned toward him.

“Now my grandparents are buried there. And my sister.” Her throat closed off and she swallowed hard before she could continue. “Someday my father will be too, I suspect. And Susie’s father.”

“Does it bother ya to think ya might not be able to visit the place again?”

“Not at all. Not in the least.” Shifting so she looked into his face as she spoke, words came in a burst as if, unknowingly, she’d been storing them up, waiting for a chance to say them to someone who might care, even if he couldn’t understand.

“I did not like going to that cemetery. Like I said, it was cold and dank. But worse was how it reminded me of who I was. What I was.”

His eyes, which once had appeared faded blue darkened, capturing the color of the sky, as if offering her a bit of the summer day. “I see nothin’, know nothin’ about ya that should make ya sad.”

Warmth from sky-blue eyes wafted through her. “You forget that I was a girl born into a family that only valued sons.” Her words were ordinary; just a combination of some of the twenty- six letters in the alphabet yet they carried sharp edges and pointed tips with hurtful and harmful power.

“That’s an unfair judgment.” His blunt pronouncement echoed in her heart, driving away a portion of the words that had been said about her… against her… most of her life.

“Thank you. I agree. Susie is as valuable to me as a boy would be.” She glanced back to see Susie had collected a pile of tiny stones and happily played with them.

A chuckle rumbled in the air. “Fer certain, she’s a lovely child.”

A feeling as unfamiliar as the scent of horse and leather that carried in the air between them filled her. “Thank you.”

“Fer what? I did nothin’.”

“You assure me that Susie will be treated better than either of us was back east.” She would never again think of it as home.

“I promise ya that I’ll do my best.”

“As will I.” Her words whispered into the air. But he heard.

“Can’t ask for more’n that.”

The door of Addie’s house opened and closed, and Addie stepped out. She saw them and waved before she went to her garden and began pulling weeds though— “I didn’t see a weed anywhere.”

Flint chuckled. “She’ll make sure there ain’t any.”

It seemed this conversation had been all about her.

And he’d offered her a wondrous gift. Could she do the same for him?

“Where are your parents buried?” Was he able to visit their graves?

Was it something that mattered to him? She didn’t know him well, but it seemed it would be something he cared about.

“I never knew where Ma died or where she was buried. Can’t even remember what happened to her if’n I ever knew. A time or two I asked Pa about it, but he’d shake his head and turn away. I figgered it weren’t somethin’ he meant to talk about. So I stopped asking.”

She tipped her head back and gave him a long hard study until he shook his head.

“What do ya see?”

Now was the time she could give back a portion of what he’d given her. And mean every word.

“Flint, she must have been a wonderful woman. I know she would be proud of you.”

His eyes widened. His Adam’s apple worked up and down. Then he shook his head. “You got no way of knowin’ that.”

Whether he meant about his mother or about him, there was no way of telling nor did it matter.

“It’s true I don’t know you that well, but sometimes a person can see things rather quickly.” She continued to look at him though he looked away.

His throat continued to work and then he gave a quick nod.

“We was out in Wyoming moving a herd when Pa got sick and died. Trail boss said he was sorry, but they had ta bury Pa where we was. They dug a grave and put him in. Covered it with dirt and a pile of rocks.” He glanced at the mounds of rocks behind them.

“Bigger’n that. I knew it was to keep the wild animals from—” He sucked in air.

“They put up a piece of wood. I never went back. Couldn’t a found the place if I tried. ”

She leaned against him a mite more. Warmth from his body enveloped her.

And a sense of acceptance such as she had never before known.

“Thank you for telling me. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to think about your loss.

When I come here.” She tipped her head to indicate the area in which they sat, imagining herself sitting in this spot to think and plan and yes, to pray.

“I will think of your parents and thank God you knew their love as a child.”

“Thanks.” He seemed about to say more and then closed his mouth.

They sat in pleasant silence for a few minutes. The sun slanted toward the west reminding Bryn how long she’d been away from the house. “I should get back and start supper.”

“I’ll walk ya home.”

His words sounded like those a beau would say when courting and she tucked them into her thoughts to cherish.

Susie gathered up her rocks and followed them. “Ahh.” Pebbles slipped through her fingers.

“How be I help ya?” Flint gathered up the fallen ones and opened his palms for Susie to give him more.

Her fingers curled around the ones she still held, and she smiled as she trotted down the hill.

Bryn tucked her own pleasure in a special corner of her heart alongside the one about courting at the way Flint had acted. Not that she needed courting. After all, they were married.

Would he find her acceptable and come to bed with her tonight? Or soon?

Or was she expecting too much? Expecting that he should show her the approval she’d ached for all her life and never received back east?

Flint walked Bryn and Susie as far as the house then strode to the barn, not slowing his steps until he was in the far interior corner where no one would see him.

His thoughts tangled like an old, neglected rope.

He’d never expected to feel so strongly the need to erase the things Bryn, and Susie had lived with.

They’d been unwanted simply because they were females.

He’d done what he could to assure her things were not like that here and she seemed to ‘preciate it. Feeling good about that must be the reason he had told her about his parents. Even though he’d only told her the facts, she’d guessed that it hurt to remember losing them.

Even though he didn’t recall losing Ma a’tall. It was just a missing with no name.

He kicked the bottom board of the nearest pen.

The thud echoed in the barn and shuddered up his leg.

The promise of sharing more with her— secrets, dreams, hopes, disappointments— yawned before him like a cave— full of risks and possibilities.

He kicked the board again. Hope was a scary thing.

If it brought the belonging that he wanted, it would be amazing. Or he might end up disappointed.

A laugh escaped. He didn’t often recall things his pa said, but at this minute he did. Only a coward gives up without trying.

I’m no coward, Pa.

Bryn had said it wouldn’t take long to make supper. Time to prove to himself he was ready to prove his courage. No matter what that meant.

Realizing he grinned widely, he checked around to see if anyone was watching. No one was so he continued to smile as he crossed the yard.

Susie threw open the door and raced toward him. She must have been watching out the window. Or was Bryn? Pleased to think it was his new wife, his smile widened.

He held out his arms and the child flew into them. He positioned her on his shoulders and trotted toward the house, her giggles bubbling through him. Fearing she’d bang her head on the doorjamb, he set her down before he entered.

Bryn stood by the table, all smiles and welcome. “Perfect timing.” She turned to the stove and removed a serving bowl from the overhead warming oven.

Perfect timing, was it? Then he realized she meant the meal.

Well, what else would she mean? He washed, took his place, waited for the others to sit then bowed his head to pray.

His tongue refused to work. Tied up in knots of uncertainty.

He must pray. Couldn’t sit like a bump on a log.

He cleared his throat and managed to choke out the words.

“Amen.” He grabbed the cup before him and downed the icy water.

“It was kind of Adele to give us jars of meat. She said she just had corned beef for the first few meals.”

He realized Bryn was talking about the meal. “I’ll bring in a deer so you can bottle up some meat.”

“Sounds good. Adele already offered to help me.”

Susie edged forward watching him waiting to speak.

“What is it, little one?”

“I’s big.”

He knew what was coming next.

“Big ‘nough to have a pet. Like Daisy.”

“Guessin’ you might be at that.”

Her eyes widened and she stared at him. “You gots one for me?”

“No, but I’ll watch for somethin’.” In fact—He turned to Bryn. “How’d you like to go for a picnic tomorrow? The three of us. Thought ya might like to see more of the country.”

“I’d like that very much.” She served him a generous piece of gingerbread with lemon sauce.

He took one bite and his mouth begged for more. “This is delicious.”

“I’m glad you like it. Maybe you could tell me what you like and what you don’t like.”

He pretended to give the question a great deal of thought, tapping his chin and looking past her to the view outside the window though he didn’t see anything. He watched her from the corner of his eyes. Finally, he gave a long sigh. “Guess I never met a food I didn’t like.”

Her eyes widened in surprise and then crinkled as she laughed. “That makes my job easier.”

Satisfied that he had accomplished what he wanted, he returned to the gingerbread. Finished, he pushed from the table.

“I’ve got things to do at the barn. I’ll be back later.” He rushed out. Not because chores needed to be done, but because it would soon be time for bed.

And he didn’t know what he meant to do. Or did he mean, what she expected? Wanted. And he didn’t mean to ask Jayce for suggestions.