Page 34 of Magpie

I watch him as I sit in our bed, my knees curled up to my chest, my chin resting on top of them.

He’s fuming, anger radiating off him from our most recent fight, and I can feel it only too well as the minutes tick by and his ire grows.

I remain still. He’s a storm, moving about the room in a whirlwind of misplaced aggression and power, sending books flying off the shelves in his wake.

I don’t even flinch when a crystal ball soars across the room, shattering into the wall next to my head.

I’m far too used to his tantrums by now, and I frown at the realization.

I don’t need to glance out the window to see the sky is fully dark.

The night is another thing I am far too familiar with.

I miss the sun, the warmth it provides. I hug myself tighter, following Alister with my eyes as he yanks on his jacket, nearly ripping a sleeve off with the force of his effort.

It’s almost showtime, on Samhain no less.

Everyone will be expected to perform. Alister bars me from the other rituals, the ones that would have others tasting me.

I am for him and him alone, as he constantly reminds me.

Yet even I am expected to partake in this ritual.

The last time I looked out the window, a line was already forming outside the door to the Victorian farmhouse we’re occupying.

After years of jumping between big cities, I find the small town strange.

Alister prefers the bustle of a city, with an endless buffet of souls to lure into our web.

When I moved the House to this town, he questioned me, demanding to know why I placed us so far away from a large population.

I didn’t answer him, because I wasn’t sure if I could go through with my plan. If I could doom another.

I’m certain now.

“You should be getting ready. You’ll be late,” he says, his voice cold and dismissive as he pulls on a pair of white gloves, not even sparing me a glance.

I used to be the only thing he looked at, the only person he needed to survive.

But that was a lifetime ago, and now there is a chasm of creations and resentment between us, and I know there is no bridge that will ever let me cross back to him.

“I can’t do this anymore, Alister,” I whisper, hoping, foolishly, that my words will be enough.

He stops adjusting his gloves, pausing for a brief moment before hurriedly continuing, tugging at the sleeves of his jacket, straightening his collar. “Now is not the time for another one of your episodes,” he snaps, an utter dismissal.

“I mean it, Alister,” I say, my voice louder this time, holding myself tighter to keep from shaking. “I’m done. I can’t keep making you keys. I can’t keep trapping people here. I can’t keep feeding you, because you’ll never be full.”

He lets out a loud, angry laugh, turning to me, pinning me with his hateful gaze. Time and age haven’t touched his face, perfectly preserving the features of the boy who owns my heart entirely. I wonder how I was able to ignore it withering in his care.

He storms toward me, grabbing me by my arms. I cry out as he drags me off the bed and tosses me to the ground.

“That’s enough, Irina,” he bellows. “I’m tired of having these same desperate conversations with you.

We made our choice to start this new life—there is no turning back from it.

Not anymore. I’m done listening to your self-pity.

It is beneath you. Now get ready. The ritual will begin soon. ”

I stand, stumbling a little, my ankle turned in the fall.

He notices me wince, and I see a momentary flash of shame in his eyes, but then it is gone.

My heart breaks a little more, knowing those glimmers of goodness, those flashes of the boy I love, are all I will ever get from him again.

My eyes grow wet, and I feel the first tear spilling over, no matter how I try to hold it back.

He lets out an exasperated sigh, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. He sets his head on my shoulder, nuzzling my neck. Heat sparks at his touch. I close my eyes, just for a moment, to soak in this last embrace.

A sob breaks out in my throat as I say, “This is killing me, Alister.”

All at once the pain consumes me. The pain of never being enough, the pain of pulling lifeforce from an unsuspecting victim, the pain of watching my best friend and the love of my life turn into a stranger. A monster. The pain of knowing I caused it all, and that I am not strong enough to end it.

“I cannot do this without you, my dove,” he whispers in my ear, his voice once again the sweet, soft voice of that boy from my past. I know better. That boy no longer exists, and hasn’t for a long, long time.

Steeling my spine, I open my eyes and whisper, “What if I give you another bird?”

There. I said them—the words that will damn me eternally, but the words that will let me get out .

He stiffens, pulling his arms from me as I turn to meet his gaze. “The death key,” he says, his eyes wide with hunger.

I swallow against the lump forming in my throat.

The death key is the only thing I have ever refused Alister.

I could not, would not, give him control over that power.

At least, that’s what I told myself. But the years inside his cold embrace have worn me down, whittling me to nothing.

I am empty, a hollow doll with nothing left to give, nothing left to try to make him believe I am enough.

Because I never have been, not for him.

“Someone is here, calling out to it. She’s been crying out for it for some time now, pulling me to her,” I say, answering at last his question about why I chose this town, this house.

At first, I made the keys that Alister described to me.

Melding and blending them to his exact specifications.

As the years wore on, and as my connection to the keys and the power to create them grew, I began to form a greater understanding of them.

I began to feel the souls calling to me from across the void, could sense the truly powerful ones that would fall only too easily into Alister’s palm.

I never told Alister that she was near, that her spirit was begging to be numb, but still, I moved the House closer.

She was perfect, a soul begging to leave this life behind.

The call of her was like a scream in the darkness.

I was surprised Alister couldn’t feel it.

After sensing her for so long, I knew Alister would easily be able to take her, convince her to give herself up for this life.

I found myself creating the key one night in the darkness of our empty room.

I told myself I wouldn’t use it; I was just creating it to get her voice out of my mind.

I told myself all those things, but deep down I knew…

I knew I would do anything to be free. I wouldn’t let myself think about the cost of that freedom, and how she would be the one to ultimately pay it.

“You would give her to me?” Alister asks, his grip on me growing tight, his gaze heated. What I wouldn’t give for the barest hint of that heat to touch me.

“Only if you let me go,” I say, before I can back down. I worry my bottom lip, my eyes darting between his. He holds my gaze, sadness creeping into his eyes, flashing me the face of the boy he once was. The boy who cared. It passes all too quickly, replaced with a greedy curiosity.

Pulling out of his arms for what I know will be the last time, I turn and walk away.

I open a small chest on my bedside table, pausing, my hand hovering over the contents.

The small voice of my former self whispers that there is still time to turn back.

That I don’t have to cross this line in the sand.

I don’t hesitate for a moment longer. I pick up the iron key with the black-and-white bird adorning the top.

Turning, I find him standing directly behind me, having silently followed.

His eyes are ravenous, and he moves to snatch the key from my hand, but I hold it back from him, earning a sneer of annoyance.

It is the exact sight I need to fuel my resolve.

“I am not giving you this key freely, and there is only one thing that can pay the price. One key for another, Alister. Me or her. Make your decision.” I stand firm, refusing to give an inch as he holds my defiant gaze.

“Irina…” he says at last, his voice breaking, and my withered heart breaks right alongside it.

I see the internal fight crossing over his face, flicking his eyes from mine to the key in my hand.

Time stops around us, the room drifting away.

The only things in this world that exist are us, and the choice he has yet to make.

With achingly slow movements, Alister begins to unbutton his shirt, one ivory button at a time.

He is moving slowly, but deliberately, and I wonder if it’s because he is delaying the inevitable.

Delaying me leaving him for the final time.

He pulls off one of his gloves before tugging his shirt to the side, revealing his chest and pressing the tips of his fingers above his heart.

I let out a sob, and a pain I didn’t realize he could feel anymore flashes across his face.

Yet he does not stop. He plunges his fingers into his chest and pulls out my key.

I remember the day I gave it to him, the elation I felt at finally being able to pay him back for the life he gave me.

I never thought I would ache for the severing of our connection.

He holds my key out to me, and in turn I hold the death key toward him. We stand like that for one beat. Two. Neither of us quite ready to part. I look at him after centuries together, and I find I’m staring at a stranger.

With shallow breaths, and an empty pit where my heart should be, I reach forward and take my key. I curl my fingers around the cool iron as he opens his mouth and whispers, “My dove—”

“She is already inside,” I say, cutting him off before he can break my desiccated heart any further.

Without another word, he plucks the key from my outstretched hand and turns from me, grabbing his top hat and storming from our room.

His room, now.

I am running down the stairs and flying through the front door before my thoughts can catch up to me.

Sean calls out to me as I sprint down the old country road, but I don’t stop.

I have no idea where I’m going, or even how I will begin to live this life without Alister, but I hold close to the only certainty I have:

I got out.

I come out of the memory, looking at the crystal ball in front of me. Opening my tightly curled fingers, I see the iron key in my hand. A single tear drips down my face. I don’t scrub it away, but I also do not let any more fall. I am done crying for Alister. I have been for a long time.

I sit up straight the moment I feel his presence. It strikes me how easily I recognize it, though I’ve long since stopped counting the years since we last saw each other.

Sighing, I push away from the table and stand.

I take my time walking to him. I meander through my store, trailing my fingers over the various shelves and crystals, whispering to them for the last time.

I let the memories of the goodness and light of this store fill me, hoping it is enough to cleanse the taint on my soul.

Hoping I added something good to this world, for all the evil I let loose on it.

I shut the lights off in each room as I leave it behind, plunging the store deeper and deeper into darkness, until at last the only one remaining is the porch light at the back of my house.

I stand before the screen door, staring at it as I gather my courage. There is no bustling city street or back alley behind my store, but rather a lush, verdant garden, surrounded by a thick wall of hedges. Taking one last steadying breath, I push the door open, and step out into the night.

Crickets sing a quiet chorus around my secluded garden, lulling me with their song. Coming to a stop in the middle of the space, I look up at the moon. It has been quite some time since I’ve allowed myself out at night. I forgot how serene it is. How peaceful.

“Hello, Irina,” he calls from behind me.

It doesn’t startle me. I felt him approaching, so I do not take my eyes off the moon as I say, “Hello, Ronan.”

He walks around me, coming to a stop in front of me, and I finally pull my gaze away from the night sky and focus on him.

He hasn’t aged a day in the centuries since we last spoke, but then again, neither have I.

I can’t help but think of that last time, when he warned me against ever creating those keys. When he warned me about Alister.

“You’ll be happy to know you were right,” I say. “He didn’t change.”

“Nothing about this makes me happy,” Ronan says, his lips tilted in a grimace, his eyes hard. “But I made you a promise, and I keep my word.”

“I know. I remember.” My gaze traces the lines of his face and the complicated emotions passing through his eyes. It was always like that with us. Complicated. Giving him a sad smile, I whisper, “Just give me a moment.”

“Take all the time you need, Irina. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

I close my eyes, inhaling deeply the scent of the midnight jasmine and the other night-blooming flowers.

I’m not sure why I packed this garden with blooms that are best admired under the light of the full moon.

Maybe it’s because, even in the serene quiet of this new life, I couldn’t let go of the night and the life I lived within it.

“Do you think she’ll be able to do it? Do you think she’ll be able to put an end to Alister?” I ask, keeping my eyes shut. I’m too worried to find the answer in his expression. I’m not entirely sure I know which answer I’m hoping for.

“I think if anyone has a chance of doing it, it’s her.”

He doesn’t say more. He never was a man of many words. I suppose that is as much of an answer as I deserve.

Taking one last deep inhale, I open my eyes and smile at him. “Okay. I’m ready.”

His face is cold and barren as he holds a hand out between us. I might be walking peacefully down this road, but I assume the journey is not so easy for him. The burden of power never is. Reaching out, I place my key in his hand, never once taking my eyes off his.

“I’ll see you on the other side, Ronan,” I say, watching as he pulls the key up to his face, gripping both ends tightly. Turning my eyes to the moon, I smile.

The last thing I hear is the snapping of my key as Ronan breaks it in half.