Page 27 of Magpie

I ’m in a library, trailing my fingers over the books.

I had intended to pick up a volume, to read and distract myself from the visceral image of the girl hanging from the seatbelt, from the cries of the boy screaming at her to wake up.

But it is useless. No matter how many times I try to focus on the words, all I can see is the girl’s one unseeing eye.

Instead, I find myself pacing the perimeter of the library, desperately wishing Alister would come save me from this torment.

“Hello again, pretty bird.”

The voice startles me. I yelp, spinning around and finding Sean standing in the open doorway.

He’s dressed now, much like Alister, in a three-piece suit, though his is a muted gray, where Alister always prefers black.

His tie is the exact deep shade of red as his eyes.

He smiles as I continue to stare open-mouthed at him, memories of our night together rising in my mind when he calls me “pretty bird,” but I frown.

I don’t deserve to feel good, not after today.

After what I did.

“Come back to me, pretty bird. Where did you go?” he asks, and I realize he is standing in front of me, looking like he asked a question I haven’t answered.

I feel it then: his hand resting on my cheek—an anchoring gesture.

It fills me with warmth, a warmth that feels so much more comforting than any Alister has given me.

Still, I hold back, pulling away from his touch and turning back to the bookshelf.

I pick a book at random, looking down but not seeing the page.

“Magpie, what’s wrong?” Sean asks, tugging the book out of my hands and turning me to look at him.

I don’t know why I speak, why I feel like I can be honest with him in ways I never can with Alister, but I am unable to stop myself as the words bubble up.

“I think I’m tainted,” I say, voicing the unsettling worry that has soaked into me since the lesson in the park.

“I think I did something bad, but I don’t know how.

I think I…I think I took something that wasn’t mine to take.

” I’m having a difficult time wording my feelings, because now that I am facing them, and speaking them out loud…

I’m having a hard time remembering what exactly I did.

Sean smiles at me, a look of understanding on his face. I’m accustomed to the feverish hunger in Alister’s gaze, so the kindness warming Sean’s eyes leaves me reeling.

“It’s okay, Magpie. You’re experiencing what we all have.” He takes my face in his hands, making me meet his gaze. He has to stoop down low to be on eye level with me, and I’m caught by the staggering height of him. “Alister is taking from you what he needs to fuel the house, to fuel us.”

“I don’t understand,” I say, shaking my head.

With each passing moment I can remember less and less of what happened in the park, why I am afraid to return.

I thought when I finally left the hazy feeling of my old life behind, my memories would stop straining from my mind like water through a sieve.

Sean turns and pulls a book off the shelf, opening it and flipping through the pages.

“Imagine it like this. Alister is the flame, and we are all kindling.” He rips a page from the book, walking toward a glowing lantern.

Taking the glass dome off, he holds the page to the fire.

I watch, transfixed, as the flame greedily laps up the page.

“We feed into Alister, and in turn become like the fire. The more we pour into the flame, the higher it grows, the more powerful it becomes. But when the kindling is gone, it doesn’t exist anymore. ”

He moves to the fireplace, carrying the burning page with him. He tosses it onto the pile of charred logs. I watch as the page curls and burns, bits of papery ash drifting up on the small plumes of smoke.

“I still don’t understand,” I say, coming to stand beside him, feeling foolish for not grasping what he’s trying to say.

He turns to me, cupping his hand under my chin and twisting my face until I am looking at him.

I feel heat pooling inside of me, trying to break through the grief-stricken cage around my mind.

He does not pull me into him, does not press his body against mine like I expect him to.

Instead, he smiles gently, rubbing his thumb softly across my skin as he anchors me to this world, to this moment, refusing to leave me adrift in that sea of confusion.

“I am saying that Alister requires something from all of us to feed the fire of this house. Whatever he required of you, it is his now, burned into his essence. Like that page is no longer a part of the story, what he required from you is no longer yours. He took it and consumed it. I am saying you didn’t do anything. He did.”

I pull away from his hand, turning and studying the ashy remains of the page, the story that will never again be told.

“Thank you,” I whisper, not entirely sure what I’m thanking him for, before turning and walking out of the room, away from his burning presence. I don’t know why I leave him behind, but I think it has something to do with how badly I don’t want to.

I sit on one of the many plush couches that line the center of the room I have been told is named the Den, the vast, maze-like space beyond the maroon door.

The thumping bass beat from the red dance floor fills the whole Den, and I let it infect me.

Alister stayed in his study all day, until he found me curled up in bed and commanded me to follow him to the ritual.

I welcomed it, desperate for the promise of warmth and release.

Alister kissed me deeply and left me standing in the middle of a sitting room, disappearing into the throng of people.

He will be busy the whole evening, drinking in the power and energy that rolls off the very walls of this place.

He will gorge himself on it. My stomach sours at the thought, and I suddenly find myself entirely apathetic about the whole thing.

I no longer care to feel, or be warm. I just want to be left alone.

I just want to sleep.

But Alister would not want that. He wants me to take part in the ritual—needs me to. So I force myself to stay, sitting down, determined to say yes to the first person who asks to pull me alone into one of those stone rooms.

And yet, after hours inside the Den, I find myself sulking on the couch, having refused every breathy offer to show me endless pleasure. The crowd is beginning to dwindle, most partners having already been selected, and I know I need to stop hesitating and just pick someone already.

“Aren’t you a lonely little girl,” a velvety voice drips into my ears.

A man stretches out onto the couch across from me, but not so far away that his leg doesn’t touch mine.

His stark white hair falls into his pale face and milky white eyes.

He looks every bit like a spirit that would haunt these halls, except for the fact that he’s wearing tight leather pants and a mesh tank top.

I feel myself bristling at the cocky smile on his face, but I talk myself out of instantly getting up and moving away. He is as good a partner as any.

I paint a smile on my face, determined to get this over with. “Care to keep me company?”

I don’t need to ask twice.

The walk to the room of doors takes far less time than I would have liked.

As eager as I am to have this ritual well and truly behind me, I’m less thrilled at the idea of spending a night with Ghost, the name I give this creation.

He picks a door at random, pulling us into another stone room lit with flickering blue candlelight, and shuts the door behind us.

He’s luminous in the deep blue, truly glowing like a ghostly spirit.

Even his eyes are alight as they catch and hold mine.

The seductive call of the ritual tries to reach out to me, tries to pull me eagerly into his arms. But I’m in no mood to be swayed by it, so it slides off me, and I am left cold even as Ghost gathers me into his embrace.

His lips are chilly as they meet mine, and I feel nothing at all when he pushes his tongue into my mouth.

I decide then and there that I don’t care if Alister is angry. I want no part of this ritual.

I shove against Ghost. He takes a stumbling step back from me, shock and confusion clear in his expression. “What are you doing?” he asks, moving back toward me, but stopping when I retreat.

I hug myself, shaking my head. “I changed my mind.”

He pauses for a moment, blinking at me, like he cannot understand the simple words of my refusal. “Just give it a try, Magpie,” he says, his voice dripping with that same self-righteous confidence that coats his entire demeanor as he saunters toward me.

“You heard her. Get out.”

We both jump, startled at the sudden interruption. I turn to find Sean standing in the doorway, his arms crossed, his eyes glowing vibrant red.

“We’re busy in here,” Ghost says, taking another step forward.

“Not anymore you’re not,” Sean snaps.

Silence rings out at his words. Ghost is looking wildly between me and Sean, as though he’s waiting for me to deny it, to send Sean away and fall back into his arms that do nothing to warm me. I turn and hold Sean’s gaze, nodding in a silent gesture of gratitude.

“This is bullshit,” Ghost snarls, storming from the room, shoulder-checking Sean as he does. Sean doesn’t even seem to notice; his eyes have never left mine. He enters the room, kicking the door shut behind him.

I hold my head high. “I wasn’t lying, Sean. I don’t want any part of this ritual. I just want to sleep.”

“That’s fine by me, but you’ll be sleeping in my arms.”

I bristle instantly, my mouth falling open. “The hell I will,” I snap, but he just continues to take steady steps toward me.

“Everyone participates in the ritual, pretty bird, even you. The only exception he ever made was Irina.”

I frown, remembering the flash of a name scribbled on the back of a card, a little heart inked next to it. I don’t have long to focus on it.

“I’m not going to let you make Alister furious with you,” Sean continues. “And I’m certainly not going to let you bring someone like that asshole into one of these rooms just to placate him. If you want to sleep the night away, that’s fine, but it’s going to be with me beside you.”

“What if I don’t agree?” I taunt, fighting the smirk that’s tugging at my lips.

I don’t know why the idea of riling him up is thrilling to me, but I can’t help myself.

Since he kicked that door shut and caged me in with him, I have been unable to resist the alluring song of temptation that pours off him.

“Feel free to run, pretty bird. I’ve daydreamed about chasing you through these halls since I first tasted your sweet lips.”

I can’t help the gasp that escapes my mouth. I’m struck speechless by his bold proclamation.

“You don’t even know me,” I whisper.

“And yet, I can’t stop wanting to learn everything about you. If I didn’t know better, I would say you’re a witch who has me caught under her spell.”

Sean walks slowly forward, giving me plenty of time to move, to retreat. I stay exactly where I am. He stops in front of me, running the tips of his fingers up my arms to my shoulders. I expect him to lean in and kiss me, but instead he spins me around and points at the bed.

“Time to sleep, pretty bird.”

I smile, moving to the bed and crawling in.

The sheets are silk, flowing over me like water as I slide underneath them.

There is no thick comforter, no heavy blanket; this room is made for more carnal acts than passing the night fully clothed in each other’s arms. I watch as Sean kicks his boots off and crawls into bed next to me.

He rolls onto his side, facing me as he reaches out and tugs me to him.

I twist so that my back is against his chest, not trusting myself to face him.

The moment he touches me, that blessed warmth begins to pool in me, and I sigh at the feel of it. My eyes flutter closed as he begins tracing circles up and down my arm, further stoking that warmth.

“Earlier, in the library, why did you tell me about Alister?” I ask, my voice quiet in the space between us.

His fingers still on my skin. “Outside of the ritual, everyone avoids me. You could have left me in that library alone. Alister would have eventually found me…” I trail off when I realize I’m not entirely sure I believe my own words.

Would Alister have cared enough to come find me, to rescue me from the sea of uncertainty and anguish my lesson left me adrift in?

“Because I remember what it was like, finding myself grappling with the feelings of having done something I regret,” Sean says.

“Only I didn’t have anyone to try to bring me back to myself, to pull me from that void.

There was only myself, and Irina, and Alister then, and they were entirely too engrossed in each other to notice that I was drowning. ”

I twist in his arms, and he tilts his head down to hold my gaze. He continues tracing his fingers up and down my arms, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“I never wanted anyone else to feel that lost, that alone, again.”

“Is that why you followed me in here with Ghost?” I ask, and he smirks at the nickname.

“I followed you in here because watching you walk behind this door with someone who wasn’t me made me lose my mind.” His fingers trail up my arm, over my shoulder, my collarbone. They trace a line up my neck before coming to rest over my lips. “I couldn’t stand the idea of anyone else tasting you.”

“Oh,” I say, not drawing back from the feel of his fingers touching my lips, letting me taste his skin, if only barely. He smiles at me, the shifting ink of his tattoos becoming a grinning skull, as he leans forward and places a kiss on my head.

“Go to sleep, Magpie,” he breathes, tucking me under his chin.

I’m awake for several hours more, listening to Sean’s quiet breathing.

I am warm again, but not just warm; I am satisfied.

Something I haven’t felt since waking in this house.

The churning dance of the ritual continues around us, but we are content to rest against each other.

My eyes drift closed, and I fall asleep with a smile on my face.