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Story: Lucky Break

“Vagina?” he asks.

“Full bush,” Samantha confirms.

“Hey, it was not full bush!” I say, though I am not sure how this information makes the situation any better. “I’d had a wax. Remember, the strips were hard to come by in the house so we used—”

“Oh yeah, baking paper, instead.”

“Not to be advised,” I nod “Still, I did a good job. I think. I didn’t expect the whole nation would see just how good though!”

I feel sick again. I try to think of other things: puppies, dolphins, chicks in mini hats dancing, anything but the sight of my vagina, splashed all across the front pages. My mam seeing it. My dad seeing it! Sami seeing it and hiding all the copies, in an attempt to protect my dignity.

“How do you know it’s him?”

When I’d been doing my amateur sleuthing, Leo’s name had come up, but then so had Samantha’s a couple of times too.

“Let me look at the story again,” she’s asking for my phone. “I can’t get into mine, it’s waterlogged. I dropped it in a flume at a waterpark yesterday.”

I guess that rules her out for this particular story.

But Leo? Really? I reach for my phone and hand it to her, though I’m worried about her looking at my messages, as if she did she wouldn’t be so nice to me.

Hang on, why is she being so nice to me?

It does seem suspicious. She hands my phone back and I open the messages.

Looking great in the papers my love, so happy that the whole world can see what a banging body my woman has.

And it’s even better now you’ve lost the rolls.

Have you seen, everyone online is calling me a right ledge for getting that lapdance off you?

Ben says it’s a great move for me. See ya on the carpet soon, ya stunna. Dx

There’s a string from Madison and Layla growing more and more frantic at the fact I haven’t read my messages.

I reply to let them know I have, and we’re trying to figure out who’s responsible, asking if they’ve had any stories leaked about them, or if they think it could be Leo.

Then I brave opening the message from Leo himself.

I can’t believe this has happened, Angelica, I’m so sorry.

You must feel so exposed and betrayed, that was a private moment that was never meant to be filmed.

I know it’s no comfort now but I’m speaking with all the guys to find out how on earth this footage was captured, let alone leaked.

I thought the cameras weren’t even working that day!

Sending you love and strength and I am here if you need to talk.

I read the message out loud. “Sounds like an admission of guilt, he literally says ‘I’m so sorry,’” Samantha says.

Jared nods, “I’m sorry sweetie, I know he’s your friend and it’s hard to imagine a man who looks that good being so evil, but I just don’t think it sounds like it could be anyone else.”

It takes around three hours to get my hair done and the entire time I’m just twisting the idea around and around in my head, flipping between absolutely and no way.

Leo has the means (access to information about me, and the camera footage) but I genuinely believed that he cared a lot for me.

I don’t think you can fake that stuff but, time and again, I’m proven that my instincts can’t be trusted.

I like to think that most people have a good heart but when you throw money, fame and power into it, the desire for all of those things makes people crazy.

When Verity arrives to do my make-up I’m in such a tizz I can barely get the words out to explain to her what’s happened.

Like many people have already told me today, she instructs me to breathe and slow down.

The shaking from earlier hasn’t stopped and now everything is blurry, I can’t see straight.

“It must be the stress,” I say and Verity looks me up and down and says, “Or maybe you need to eat something? Seriously Angelica, when was the last time you had a proper meal?”

I can’t answer her because I can’t remember and honestly all this commentary on how skinny I’ve become is pissing me off, I don’t mean to snap but I do, saying, “Oh fuck off Verity, I’m fine with the food, my make-up is for my face not my body, so just do your job, will you?”

As soon as I utter the words I regret them.

Who do I think I am speaking to her like that?

Verity’s been a loyal friend to me since we met on that shoot, and she’s been by my side ever since.

But my head is swimming with the pressure of the awards, and I still absolutely need to fit into this dress.

I can eat something afterwards. I down a glass of fizz that’s being handed out to the customers and tell Verity I’m sorry, and that I didn’t mean it.

“I just feel under so much pressure,” I say.

“Already I was feeling it, with the award ceremony, constantly hearing that my fame won’t last for long, that I need to make the most of it, and I’m so grateful, I really am, but it’s a lot .

I feel like there’s a clock ticking over my head screaming: fifteen minutes of fame, time’s nearly up and I want to make everyone proud and show that I’m more than what people think of me, but at every turn, something’s leaked about me and now, and now…

” My voice begins to get louder, and people in the salon are turning around and whispering.

“MY VAGINA IS ON SHOW FOR EVERYONE TO SEE.”

At that I hear someone ask, “ where? ” and spin round on their chair, only for me to see the registered disappointment on their face when they find I’m fully clothed.

Verity pulls a little bottle out of her bag, “Here, you need this,” and she shoves it under my nose.

“Is this poppers?” I ask, taking a deep sniff. At this stage I’ll try anything to calm down, and at least poppers don’t have calories in them.

“No, it’s an essential oil, it’s this magical blend that always helps me. I reserve it for crises only and…”

She winces.

“I have heard rumours that someone’s been selling stories about you. I could do some digging…”

“Journalists protect their sources though” I say, feeling despair.

“I think we can work it out without making someone reveal a source. I’ve read enough crime novels to know it’s all about following the evidence.

You said someone had been giving away little stories, they’re easy to come by - people talk, pass on gossip.

But this footage from the house that you didn’t even know existed - this lapdance - who had access to that?

” Verity asks. “It can’t be many people. ”

She’s right. She looks at me and my empty stomach sinks all the way to the floor.

“Only one person I know could have the personal stuff and the video clips,” I say. “Leo.”

* * *