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Chapter Twenty-Nine

Within seconds, he’s standing beside me.

I take a breath to try to stay calm. “What exactly is it that you have to tell me?”

“I’m so glad you’re OK. I’ve been waiting in the hospital, I told your mum I’d wait here until you were awake and ready to see me.

I can’t play it cool anymore, Angelica. When I thought you could be gone it tore my heart out.

I told myself I’d just come here to see that you were going to be alright and maybe convince you that it wasn’t me who sold those stories on you.

I would never, ever do that to you. But I couldn’t leave it at just that.

I knew I needed to see your beautiful face again.

And I know you probably still hate me - and you’d be within your rights when you hear the full story, but please let me try to explain myself. ”

It’s like the world has turned to glass - these next words from him could either shatter everything or make it shine.

“My love, Angelica, as you are just that, my love. You don’t know how hard I’ve tried to move on from you, to forget you but the times we’ve spent as friends, and yes, as more than friends, have been the best days of my life.

I can’t move on from that. I can’t forget that.

I once told you I’d wait for the day when I hoped you’d realise you feel the same way as I feel about you.

I’ve been waiting all this time and I need you to know that nothing’s changed the way I feel.

I think I fell in love with you in the house, watching you each day, being your true, funny, messy, absolutely beautiful self.

Then the world fell in love with what I saw and suddenly I knew I’d be at the back of a long queue.

But I’m here, Angelica. And I will always be here for you. ”

It’s such a beautiful speech, I can’t help but begin to cry.

Even though it hurts. I remember what the ladies in the home told me, what Verity told me, about love and finding the right person.

Someone who will love you no matter what, in all stages of your life, however you look, through the ups and the downs.

And, when I think about it, that’s always been Leo.

He has worshipped me since the very beginning and all I’ve done is try and change myself, to fit in with what Damon wanted me to be, what I thought the public wanted me to be.

I’ve been chasing a false dream too, and it’s time to stop.

I don’t need to dream any more - Leo is here in front of me.

Then something catches at my throat. What did he say about me having the right to hate him?

If he’s here to prove he didn’t sell the stories, what else has he done that could make me hate him?

“The thing is, I’m not just Leo Right, the cameraman. I am a cameraman and I love it, but I’m also the son of Theodore Wright…”

“Teddy Wright? As in the owner of the production company?”

“That’s the one. The ‘most powerful man in television.’” He does quote marks with his hands as he says it.

“And quite a shit dad, if I’m honest. He didn’t raise me, my grandparents did, like I said.

He was never around, just parading a string of different women in front of the press, after Mum died. ”

“So, if you’re the son of one of the richest men in the UK, then why did you need the cash for stories about me?”

“Like I said, I didn’t sell the stories.”

“Leo, you’ve just proved that you’ve not been straight with me, and no one else would know both the personal stuff and have access to the show’s cameras.”

“I know I should have told you who I was from the start, but I wanted a chance to just be a normal part of the crew. I wanted to understand this business from the ground up, not just because of who my dad is. I wanted to earn respect. But over the summer, I’ve been trying to build bridges with my dad, I’ve been visiting more, staying at his place and well, it hasn’t always just been me there. ”

I know the painkillers are slowing my thoughts down but I’m still not following.

“It’s Samantha. She’s known from day one who I really am and was trying to get with me for months.

I knew she didn’t really like me – she just thought I was useful.

But I’ve rejected her so many times and it’s made her mad…

and then she stopped, so I thought that maybe it was all in the past. Until I realised she’d set her sights on someone else: my dad.

She’s been staying over at his, I even caught her looking at my phone once, though she pretended she’d it picked it up by mistake.

I’ve been such an idiot. And it gets worse, Angelica, I’m so sorry. ”

What could be worse than Samantha screwing Leo’s dad? Ugh. Could she become my mother in law?

“It was me that told my dad I’d discovered loads of footage on a hard drive – from the power cut day.

Some of the cameras had reserve batteries and kept capturing freeze frames that we didn’t know existed.

I knew we had to delete what was on them – I told him I was going to.

He must have told Sam. She’d have been able to send them to the press. I feel so guilty.”

I’m the one who feels guilty for ever believing Leo would sell me out. It’s like a tornado of emotion has hit me - I’m furious at Sam, but overjoyed that Leo isn’t yet another in my long line of disastrous men. “It makes total sense it was Samantha, I’m sorry Leo, I should have trusted you.”

“You don’t need to say sorry,” he says, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders.

“Just tell me when you’re better, and not high on painkillers, that you’ll think about what I said just now.

I meant it – every word. And I know I’m not famous.

Or tanned. And I’ve never even considered waxing where the sun doesn’t shine but…

I love you, and sometimes, I think that you love me.

Or could, if you let yourself. Do you feel it too? ”

I want to pause, to tease him a little but find I absolutely can’t.

It all comes out in a rush. “I do, Leo, I really do, you make me feel so safe and loved. And yes,” I lower my voice for the next part.

“I think about that day under the angel so often. You make me so hot. Or as horny as I can feel with one leg in traction and covered in bruises that make me look like the undead.”

We laugh but stop as the same thought is clearly stuck in both our minds. But I want to be the one to say it first. “And this time, there’s no more waiting. Damon is definitely out of the picture for good. It’s you, Leo, it should always have been you.”

He leans over me, and runs his hand gently across my cheek. “Does this hurt?”

I move my head and murmur, “No,” and he moves closer.

As his lips meet mine, I feel like a firework is exploding in my chest…

and everywhere else. I push up, meeting his mouth hungrily and wishing I could hold him.

I’m already imagining what I’m going to do to him as soon as I get out of here.

Then, as he takes me in his arms and I feel the warmth of his skin against mine, something whirs and the bed rises and I not-that-gently headbutt him.

Laughing, he untangles the remote control from beneath me and just watches me.

I figure if he can make me feel this sexy when I’m in hospital-issue pyjamas, we’ve got it made.

True, I’d have preferred my Hollywood Happy Ending moment to be located somewhere a bit more glamorous than the fracture ward, but I am surrounded by roses and kissing a secret millionaire so it’s still more romantic than by the bins round the back of a dodgy nightclub (where I’ve definitely been known to kiss a few frogs before).

My heart is racing and for once, my head isn’t trying to convince me not to listen.

Mam and Dad come in at that moment, and stand there grinning, and I’m too happy to even find it embarrassing. “Did he tell you the news?”

“That it was Samantha all along? Yes he did, that scheming cow, honestly, how sad of her to spend so much time trying to bring someone else down.”

“Not that, we mean the show! It’s back!”

“What?” I can’t believe it.

Leo, it turns out, has also been using his repaired relationship with his dad to rebuild the burned down North Stars house and commission a spin-off series, with me as the central star.

“The channel have agreed the slot and the budget. I’m just wrangling with my dad on the exact format, but I think it’s going to be incredible.

We’ll have to keep our relationship hidden a bit longer as it’s all about you as a single guru, giving advice to a whole new cast of housemates on how to be happy on your own and get over toxic exes, basically,” he explains.

“But it’s only eight weeks of filming and I’ll be one of the crew, so we’ll still see each other every day. ”

“My next gig!” I say, and the panic that’s been filling my body for weeks begins to simmer down.

I feel like I can breathe properly again.

“I thought I might have screwed everything up falling over at the awards, with no show to return to, I thought everything I’d worked for from the day of my North Stars audition, scoring my lucky break, that I’d lost it all. It would all be over.”

“That was never going to happen, people love you too much,” Leo says. “But once this is filming, it does guarantee more telly time, which means people will get to know you even more. And all the audience favourites from the first series are going to come back as advisors and mentors.”

“It’s amazing, thank you, Leo.”

He smiles tenderly. “Thank yourself, it’s all your doing. The whole #doitforAngelica thing really made it an easy win and sign off. Now, what I’ve also got signed off is permission to take you for a celebration dinner, a porter is on his way with a wheelchair now. So, what would you like?”

I know exactly what I need, and what I crave. A desire I’ve been squashing, that I can’t deny any longer. A girl wants what her heart wants, and I’ll let go of any of the worries about what it could do to me. It’s healthy to indulge in your desires, after all… “A large kebab. Extra garlic sauce.”

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