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As for what I’m wearing, I’ve decided to opt for classy in a glittery LBD.

It’s my tightest, sexiest one, the first thing I bought with my NuYu pay cheque, but when I put it on I find that it’s hanging off me.

It used to fit me like a second skin, now it drapes off of me, like ballsack skin.

This won’t do! I can’t be a sparkly ballsack when Damon sees me, finally, after all of this teasing of my new dignified era in the press.

I frantically begin to raid through my boxes of clothes, I’ve not unpacked my bedroom or upstairs yet as I reasoned all my energy should be channelled towards downstairs.

I threw my all into making it look incredible in the living room, kitchen, garden and swimming pool.

Upstairs on the other hand, well, it’s chaos.

And I feel quite wobbly looking at it, I can’t really remember when I last ate and I really don’t have the time now to focus on that.

I need something to wear! Except, much like the black dress, everything is hanging off of me.

Eventually I settle on an old sky-blue dress of mine, pulled in at the waist by a black studded belt.

I bump my hair high and line my eyes with Kohl in the hope it looks a bit rock chick and indie.

Of course, I’m the last person anyone thinks of when of the word ‘indie’ springs to mind but I can say I like the Killers or Maroon Five, they’re indie, right?

I hear the doorbell and go rushing down the stairs.

It’s Madison and Layla. Madison is in a micro latex dress that’s more like a tube top.

“Wow,” I say. “You’re even sluttier than usual, what has Marc done this time? It must be pretty bad.”

“He’s done a…Sebastian,” Layla says. She’s in cut-off denim shorts and a white vest. It would all look very casual if her make-up and tan hadn’t been layered on about ten times.

“How many? More than ten?”

“No, less orgy, more…” Layla mimes whipping.

“I had no idea he wanted that kind of thing!” Madison says, storming through to the kitchen and cracking open a vodka which she begins to mix with orange squash. Her signature drink. “I’d happily have kicked the bastard in the balls.”

“Wouldn’t we all,” Layla says. She’s trying to stack all of her vodka jellies into a tower but keeps getting the proportions all wrong. “Argh, can you help? I’m no mathematician.”

“Who is? Just lay them out normally, that thing will topple anyway.”

“So, who’s coming tonight?”

“Some of the COC cast, obviously no one from Born In Buckinghamshire ,” I say “All the North Stars lot, including, sorry, Marc.”

“I want him to be here, he needs to see me in this.”

She gestures up and down and I realise the outfit is a vague nod to dominatrix style, and obviously a ploy at either revenge or them snogging at the end of the night.

Except, as it’s Madison, and she likes to wear as few clothes as possible, the only difference between this outfit and her regular ones is the dress is made of a material so shiny you can practically see your reflection in it.

“You could have at least gone for real leather,” Layla says.

“I tried that but it just made the sound of farting whenever I walked and I didn’t want to have to stand beside Angelica all night and blame all the noises on her.”

“Does that also mean Damon is going to be here?”

I nod, sheepishly. “I could hardly invite all the others and not him.”

“Or someone’s looking to fill a Sebastian shaped hole in their life.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. Sebastian and I weren’t even real, I’ve been successfully single for months now!”

“Precisely, and needing that hole filled.”

I don’t have time to continue defending how much I don’t want to shag Damon, as the doorbell goes and then it’s pretty much like that consistently for the next two hours, as I greet people, eventually giving up on the tequila rose shot glasses and just pouring the stuff directly into mouths.

The party seems to be a success, not that I’ve had a chance to speak to anyone beyond a hello.

I’ve not even seen a magic trick! The photographer I invited is happy though, he’s already snapped two girls from COC kissing in my pool.

I’ll have to make sure he goes soon, as I want things to get even wilder later and I know, with him sniffing around, there’s certain people who really won’t let loose.

Leo arrived on time and I’d be lying if my heart didn’t jump when I saw him.

But there was no hug at the door, barely even a smile, then he just handed me a pot plant (a pot plant!), said happy housewarming then walked off.

Suddenly, all the things I’d been planning to say to him - to tell him that Damon and I were finally in the past, that I needed to know if that spark between us was something we could explore, all those questions died on my lips.

Instead, I watched him launch into the crowds, laughing and joking with all the other crew members I’d invited.

Marc and the lads arrived about an hour in, but there was no Damon with them, and Marc was predictably vague when I asked him where he was.

I know I protect my girls and would lie about anything for them (yes, even to cover up a botched boob job) but I do find it annoying how much the North Stars lads cover up for each other.

I would lie for my girls but I don’t have to very often, as they’re mostly behaving decently, or at least, behaving indecently in a way we’re all proud of.

Except, actually, right now. I can hear yelling from the swimming pool and I go outside to find that Madison has got in between the two COC girls, attempting to be part of a three-way kiss that’s gone wrong.

Marc is yelling “cat fight” from the side of the pool, showing it’s not really having the desired effect of making him jealous (it was either that, or a threesome was her intention, or perhaps inviting him into the threesome and then throwing him out again, I don’t know what she was really thinking).

Reed comes and stands beside me and together we observe the unfolding scene.

“I can break this up for you, if you like?” he suggests, which makes me laugh as Reed does not have ‘bouncer’ energy. In fact, the opposite. He has panda energy. He’s soft and smiley, although I’ve heard pandas are absolutely useless at sex.

“I’m sure you’d absolutely love that,” I say, as we watch Madison rip the top off one of the girls. Is this really fighting? Or foreplay? “It’s fine, I asked for drama, I got drama. The only thing I don’t want is sperm in my pool—”

“I think that’s a bit ambitious,” he says, as Marc has now piled in, under the guise of ‘breaking up’ the fight but now him and Madison are snogging furiously, all tongues and anger.

The doorbell goes and I move through the crowds to answer the door only to spot Leo in the hall checking his phone.

It’s the first time I’ve seen him alone all night and the first time I’ve seen even a bit of the old Leo in the smile he gives me.

I’ve had more tequila roses than I can count, and the punch is a lot more lethal than I intended, particularly as I’m beginning to think someone’s spiked it…

but I feel a wave of courage hit me. I need to say something.

“Leo,” I start and he looks at me, with a hard to read expression.

But then the shrill buzz of the doorbell goes again.

Someone is ringing and ringing. “Keep your hair on,” I yell and fling open the door, keen to get back to Leo before I lose my nerve.

But there, in a vest so tight it might be cutting off his circulation, is Damon.

“Err, hi,” I say lamely before Leo leaps in and tells him he’s three hours late.

“It’s a party, mate,” Damon says. “Chill out, I can arrive when I want.” I have to agree, I would have liked Damon here earlier, mostly because my make-up is melting off a bit now and it would have been nice if he’d seen me looking my very best. But everyone knows that a party start time isn’t the actual start time, it’s a loose promise.

I smile at Leo, “Shall we get Damon some special punch?” But the smiles he was giving me earlier are completely gone and he just stares at me and says, “If Damon wants punch he can get it himself.”

“Alright, alright, I know when I’m not wanted. Come find me later Angelica, I want the full tour,” Damon says, bouncing into the party. I just hope he doesn’t find the mini swimming pool orgy and join in. I may be over him but that doesn’t mean I want him shagging in my brand new pool.

“Why did you invite him?” Leo asks.

“Because he’s my friend.”

“He’s not your friend, you still think that arsehole gives a shit about you?”

“I know he does, and besides, why is it any of your business who I invite to my party or not? This isn’t your party, or your house, and I’m certainly not your girl, so you have no right to tell me who I can or can’t invite.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t invite him,” Leo fires back. “I said you were stupid to.”

“I know what I am doing.”

“Yeah, jumping back to his dick, clearly.”

“Jealous?”

He stumbles then and just looks at me, dead in the eye and it’s suddenly as if the rest of the party has had the volume muted and I will him to continue.

But just then I see Damon reappear over his shoulder, a drink now in his hand.

“Oi, oi!” he hollers and Leo spins round.

The pair of them look at me and it’s as though I’m in some kind of freeze-frame.

I don’t know what to say - to either of them - and so I take the only safe option.

I turn on my heel and go and search for Layla.

Finally, I find her by the huge bifold doors in the main room, looking transfixed by something going on on what I’ve decided will be the dancefloor. “You OK, Angelica?” she says, seeing the anxiety written on my face.

I nod, quietly, dumbly. What else is there to say? That I just ran off and left who I used to think was the love of my life standing with the man I thought might be my future, and now I’m not sure either of them want me? But Layla breaks my reverie.

“I reckon your mam is off her face on the punch.” She gestures to the crowd she was looking at before and sure enough, there in the middle of it all, is my mam, apparently doing the worm.

To be fair, she’s still got it. She’s giving the younger ones a run for their money, and half the guests are now copying her.

The music changes and soon she’s busting a move to ‘I’ve Got A Feeling’ and screaming about how she’d absolutely love to shag will.i.am.

“Layla laughs and asks, “I wondered if you wanted to rescue her? Send her home?”

“Is she having a nice time?”

“The best, by the looks of it.”

“And has she got, ugh, I don’t really want to say this aloud, involved in the swimming pool orgy?”

“No, she’s staying well clear, I’ve intercepted her each time she’s tried to go to the pool.”

“Thank you. You’re a good friend.” And as I say it I realise that’s why I didn’t say anything to Damon or Leo.

I really am just at the start of working out who I am by myself, no man, no cameras, no expectations.

And the people that I need round me right now are my friends.

Forget this fancy house – I’m richer than most when it comes to having solid gold mates.

“So, do we stop her?” Layla carries on. “Your dad said he’d come collect her whenever, before he left.”

“Nah, my mam never gets the chance to let loose. If she’s having a good time, let her.

” By now, Mam has really got the party started.

The dance floor is heaving, everyone’s having a good time and I have a moment to think I’ve done it - I’ve thrown a good party, on my own, and I’m going to have the best night.

We wander through to the kitchen where I find Damon, alone, despite the fact that there’s three girls, in sopping wet t-shirts, looking over his way and giggling.

“There you are!” he says, offering me a glass of punch. “I was worried you’d gone off with whatshisface.”

“His name is Leo,” I say, taking the drink. “But I think he’s gone,” I won’t give Damon the satisfaction of knowing how much that bothers me. “So, how are you? Still living the high life?”

“I guess…I dunno, Angelica, I’ve been to some pretty amazing places recently, met some pretty amazing people. But I keep finding myself, at five in the morning, in some soulless hotel, boozed up, girls waiting for me and—”

“Sounds torturous.”

“Let me finish. And…well, thinking of you. How we were in the house. We had fun, didn’t we?”

I can’t believe it. That’s two men basically opening up to me in the space of thirty minutes. What was put in this punch?

“We did, Damon. But do you ever think it was just fun because it was all new? Because it was exciting? The beginning of something.”

“It was the beginning of something,” he reaches for my hand. “Me and you. Seriously Angelica, it’s all so shallow, the party scene, but we could have fun anywhere. We have had fun in the weirdest, shittiest of places.”

“Quite literally,” I say, thinking of the night Damon and I decided we hated the club we were in so settled on the floor of the disabled loos and just chatted for hours.

Time stopped then, just like how it’s stopped now.

The house around me feels fuzzy, like everyone else is caught in a haze and only Damon and I are the solid, real people who exist.

“So,” he says, eyeing me up and down. “You gonna give me the full tour?”

“You can see most of it,” I say. “There’s a swimming pool through there, then that’s my telly area, there’s a pool table over there and…”

“I meant the full tour, the bedrooms and that…”

He’s just as gorgeous as he always was. Standing there in a tight white vest, and loose jeans, his hair falling over one eye.

I can see the outline of his abs underneath his top, and I know what treasure his jeans contain.

He’s also just been the nicest he’s ever, ever been to me, so, of course it’s tempting to think ‘fuck it’ and grab his hand and lead him upstairs.

The boxes aren’t unpacked but the bed certainly is.

But, I can’t let him win that easily. I have to be strong.

For one, the photographer I hired is still here and I know me leading Damon to the bedroom would be front-page news tomorrow and I’d let down all of those #doinganAngelica girls.

They might go running back to their exes if they see me do it!

I shake my head. “Sorry Damo. I gotta be here for my guests.”

“Maybe later?”

“Maybe later.”

* * *