Page 50 of Love the Way You Lion (Rise of the Resistance #3)

I shrug. “I don’t know. I feel insecure. I’m used to discussing my feelings. I don’t want to harp or nag or seem neurotic.” I shake my head and then roll out of bed, looking for the robe Hex gave me because my clothes are toast .

“You’re not harping. I guess you could do that instead,” she whispers, her hair falling to spill over her face.

“Sorry; I move fast.”

I see her nod, the curtain of red moving, her face concealed. “I noticed.”

“See? That. I don’t know what you meant.” I hunt around for Precious, feeling the need to have something solid and familiar to comfort my frayed nerves.

She shrugs, still obscured by a mass of scarlet waves.

Her voice is soft, and I have to stop hunting around to get closer to hear her better.

“You’re gone. It hurt, I guess. I mean, I know I’m not—that I don’t seem.

.. It’s not like it’s unusual for people to do that.

” She stops talking and shrugs again. If it’s possible, she’s gotten even less wordy in the past minute and a half.

“Hurt?” I climb on the bed and crawl over to her, frowning in my confusion. What did I do? “What hurts?”

“You left. Poof, you left like it didn’t mean.

..” Scooting a bit, she tucks into a small ball sheltered in that mass of tangles, and I see what Taurus means when he says she can turtle with the best of them.

She’s about as small as someone of her height could be without disappearing.

“It’s okay. I understand. I know how it goes. ”

What in the hell is she talking about? How it goes? I tilt my head and look at her, trying to figure out what’s gotten her so closed off when it hits me. She said she understands, that I left.

Oh, hell.

“I wasn’t leaving. I was feeling exposed, so I was going to put my clothes on. I was feeling nervous, and I feel better when I flip my blade if I’m nervous. Rafe might have mentioned that? ”

I see the skin on her arms flush red, but not her face.

I must have hit the nail on the head. She thought I was getting up and trotting out, finished with her now that it scratched my itch.

Taurus said she had abandonment issues, and boy, he wasn’t kidding.

Apparently, they’re exacerbated in relation to females.

Fucking Sari and fucking Rhea.

Those bitches ruin everything and everyone they touch.

I look at the powerful woman that my mate loves more than breath tucked into a shell so tight that it’s amazing she can breathe, waiting like an abused animal for me to trample her emotionally.

She hasn’t moved more than a few muscles since I got up.

It’s like I hit a trigger and she gave up. What have they done to her? Just as importantly, what have they done to Rafe that I don’t know about?

“Sorry,” she mumbles. “I just—I’m sure he mentioned it. I didn’t mean to be a pain.”

Now she’s apologizing because I unintentionally hurt her?

I sigh and move over closer, pushing her hair back off her face.

She loosens a little, and I wedge my way into the ball she’s curled in, setting my head on her stomach once she lets me.

I blink for a second, remembering Maeve, and look panicked. “This doesn’t bother you, does it?”

“Nope. Someday I’ll be a whale, and that would be hard to do, but it doesn’t bother me.”

“You’ll still be beautiful,” I respond without even thinking. I blush, realizing I said that out loud. “I think he’ll love it, I mean.”

She seems to realize what she heard, and a tiny smile curved her lips. “You think so? Even if I am big and swollen? ”

I huff. “Well, yeah. I don’t bite just anyone, you know.” I roll over onto my stomach, looking up at her. “Is that okay?”

Pursing her lips, she looks at me. “Yes, it is.” I feel the purr kick in as I curl up with her, and it makes me smile. Her eyes dart around for a moment, and she whispers, “Can I tell you a secret? One I’ve kept tucked where no one can see?”

Uh-oh.

I’m hoping this is not whatever secret those two have been hiding because we’re having a good day, and I don’t think I’m ready for that right now.

The guys are sleeping off their debauchery on the floor in the corner, so I can say that Taurus is not ready for that, either.

“Sure. You know me; I’m mum’s the word girl. ”

“I know. Keeping it mum takes massive concentration and skill with the bonds like they are.”

That would—along with her pregnancy—explain the sharp increase in her appetite and need to hunt.

She’s holding some draining magic to keep whatever it is she’s keeping for them.

I’d be interested to know what in the hell she’s doing to keep anything mum, given that Rafe feels my pain and Taurus feels her heart beating.

It’s a little terrifying to wonder what she’s got going on inside.

“I might tell Taurus, but that’s more than ‘I know so he knows’ thing. ”

Her face flushes red, and she shakes her head.

“God, it’s not about Taurus, is it, because he’s fantastic at sifting through my mind and picking up things.”

“No, it’s about when I messed up.”

“Messed up?” I frown.

“When I had an accident?” She squirms, trying hard not to be vague but struggling with the topic .

“Which accident?”

“You know, when I disappeared, got strung out, and called Taurus pretty?”

“Oh!” I blink. “You mean the acid trip from hell. That was not one of the fun nights of my life. It was hard on Taurus. I remember I felt bad because it was my fault. I started it—or Rafe did.”

“Yeah,” she nods, the hair falling over her face again. “See, I, um, know how I got distracted.”

I didn’t think she could get any redder, but here it is. I run a finger over the blush and then tuck her hair behind her ear. “You mean how you let go of the drug ball? What is it, baby?”

“I kept trying to tell Taurus that it was my fault because I’d never screw up something that simple. I mean, its basic containment and all.” She talks faster as she picks up momentum. “But he wouldn’t hear of it, and it was so dumb that I was almost glad I said nothing.”

I feel her discomfort, so I lean in closer, arranging my head on her leg. I know touch helps her mate, and her, too.

“See, I asked if you’d rather me bleed or bite me, and everyone kind of stared at me like I was an idiot.

I got distracted thinking about it—you biting me, I mean—and kind of covered it up by blustering through.

At the end of the spell, I couldn’t focus because I was still all flustered because I said it and everyone looked at me funny.

When I went to finish, my head wasn’t in the right hemisphere, so I let it go without remembering the ball because I got worried that you thought I was icky or something. I forgot and poof.”

I blink, gaping like an idiot for what feels like the hundredth time today .

She flops backward, burying her face in the sheets with a groan. “I can’t believe I admitted that. I am so stupid. Sometimes, I wonder if the disconnect between my brain and my mouth is broken.”

“I wanted to,” I murmur, feeling silly myself.

“You wanted to do what?”

I shrug. “I wanted to bite you.” She stops thumping her head on the mattress and looks up through a tumble of waves. “I was going to, but you pulled back and sliced a vein before I could answer anything.”

“Everyone peered at me like I was suggesting we run naked through the Met. I was sure I’d said something wrong. I moved before the silence could get any more awkward.”

“That moment is so clear in my head because I thought you didn’t want me to.

It was the fangs—that’s why I hesitated.

I looked at Rafe, if you remember, because I didn’t know if you knew about the fangs.

Then I looked at Taurus, to make sure he didn’t have a—that he was alright with me.

..” I cut off, rubbing a hand over my face. What a bloody cock-up.

“I knew. I mean, Rafe had said. It’s not like...” she snorts, shaking her head. “Everyone kept staring at me, and I was sure I had fucked up royally by saying that. I got so distracted thinking about it, watching the blood drip.”

“Before I could say anything, you sliced. Then I was going to bite you a few nights later because I didn’t want you to assume I was saying something I wasn’t when it happened. But things happened, and we didn’t get to come to visit you two.”

“Hell, we screwed the pooch big, didn’t we?”

“I didn’t want you to think I didn’t want to share blood with you. ”

“It’s what I thought. I had some not so good feelings. That’s why I got so flustered about everything. That's why I didn’t tell anyone.”

“I mean, it would not be like tonight. I was going to take your hand and tell you that the awful night wasn’t about me judging you, and then I was running to ask you if you’d mind if I snaked your finger.”

Smacking her forehead, she sighs. “I am the queen of this situation. All hail Deli, the queen of Fuck Up. It’s always because of some mental hang-up.”

“I swear, it wasn’t your blood. I wasn’t judging you. I’m sorry it got a sod a dog-ish.”

She smiles down at me, looking rueful. “I didn’t think it was my blood, per se.

I mean, it is magickal, which is kind of cool to anyone.

I figured you guys don’t work that way and it was an acceptable way of telling me that without having to say, ‘look, you stupid bint, we don’t do that sharing thing and not with you’.

The nonsense I cook up in my head when I get paranoid.

I am aware—painfully so—that I have ties that make me less than desirable in some ways. ”

“It’s like the ring thing. I’m not prying, but if you tell him, you tell me. It’s that kind of deal.”

She pinches her nose. “Christ, yes, like the ring thing. Just like that.”

I ponder for a minute, finding the corner of the sheet interesting. “Was that the night you felt attracted to me?”

“I mean, I always kind of thought, but I don’t, um, entertain that anymore, but when you came for the flowers and the baby you were cu—no, maybe not that. Sweet? Maybe? Yeah, I felt attracted before then. I just don’t— not anymore.”

I frown. “I thought you didn’t like me. I thought for sure you weren’t fond of me at all. That’s why I didn’t come back until you two goofs drained—I mean, you two swept away people drained each other.”

She shakes her head emphatically. “Damn. I didn’t mean to give off that vibe.”

“When I came back, I had on my death gear, so I could feel more in control.”

“Damn. I figured you didn’t come back because—hell, I had no idea. When you and Boneless showed up when we drained, I was too busy watching you two flirt to say much of anything.” She leans back and bangs her head again in what’s becoming a pattern.

“Stop banging.”

“It doesn’t hurt. It’s a reflex. You’ll get used to it. There’s nowhere to burrow in the middle of the bed, so I can’t hide.” Her nose wrinkles. “I like to hide when I’m on unsure footing.”

That explains Taurus and his ranting about sleeping in closets. It also explains why she turned herself inside out a moment ago when she was having trouble answering me. “I suppose I could offer to hold you, and you could burrow into me or something.”

Looking as if she’s considering the offer, she smiles. When she’s comfortable and playful, she is adorable. “Hm. That could work.”

I grab her and pull her close, hugging her. “Witch.”

“Ordained, even.” The purr starts again, and I smile. “Snake in the grass.”

“Pussy cat.”

“Sneaky serpent. I have the urge to ask about apples.”

“See why I don’t tell people what I am? Jokes, jokes, jokes. ”

“Is it because they call you original sin?”

“Hey, I like that,” I grin, feeling pleased.

“You realize being a cat inspires a thousand and one jokes for all occasions, right?”

I kiss her forehead, feeling lighter. “Yeah, well, I’ve always seen you as more of a panther, all fierce on the outside, soft on the inside.”

“That’s right, Sin. That’s what she looks like.”

“You know I throw knives, right?”

“I apparate. You won’t hit something that isn’t there. I can stop them in mid-air—in theory. They wouldn’t let me try in front of people in training, so I’ve yet to try more than moving things. I assume I could stop them from flying at me.”

I hiss low, then smile, not able to hold it for long. I kiss her, my heart expanding for the infuriating and complex woman sitting with me. “You’re very important to me.”

She smiles in a way that I’ve heard Taurus describe but never seen—happy, almost child-like in her glee.

Now I know why it melts him; it makes you feel like a superhero.

Her hand slides down my face, and I feel the achy bruise go away.

She did not need as much time to fix me last night as she pretended. “You are too. Important, I mean.”

“What is it with you and your mate, always with a yen to fix me when I’m dented?”

“I’m a healer of broken toys, dear. I have always been. Also, I promised, didn’t I? I got distracted.”

“I’ll take credit for that one if you’re planning on staying here all day.”

She grins. “Perhaps I could be persuaded.”