Page 4

Chapter 4

Blake

“ S o, you and Chase?” Henley asks, then takes a sip of his beer. We took a seat in one of the booths after getting a round, while the other guys went to play a round of pool.

“Me and Chase what?” Just saying his name is like a stab in the heart. I can feel my soul bleeding out onto the floor.

“Together. A couple. I think it’s awesome, man. I kind of had my suspicions about him. I saw how he used to watch you. I just didn’t say anything.” Henley takes another swallow of his beer as he winks at a group of puck bunnies standing at the end of the bar.

“I’d be sure to bring my own condom if you tap her. Last I heard, she’s looking for a meal ticket and likes to use damaged condoms.” Hope rises in me that by changing the subject, he’ll get off the topic of Chase.

“But he came out and confessed his love. I’m not sure what happened between the two of you, but it seems like the both of you care about each other.” He looks back over towards the group of girls. “And don’t worry, I have someone else on my mind. She’s the settle down kind of girl. The one you have forever.”

I jerk my head back to him, because I think my ears are deceiving me. Did I just hear what I think I did? Henley Cox. The biggest playboy on the team is thinking about giving up his whoring ways?

“Seriously, you’re ready to give up all the random women making their way in and out of your bed?”

“It gets old, Blake. I’m ready for more. And I think you and Chase need to talk. If not to work out your issues, then for the team. We can't win games if our team is broken.” He stands up, not even giving me a chance to respond. I see the hopeful smile fill the girl's face, thinking she’s gained Henley’s attention only for it to fall in despair when he bypasses her and joins our teammates at the pool table.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and a small piece of me hopes that it’s Chase. Not that I’ll answer, but something about him reaching out to me comforts me in some oddly weird way.

Baby: I miss you so much, Blake. This is so hard for me. I spilled my guts today to you, in front of the whole team and it meant nothing to you. Coming out as bisexual wasn’t easy for me. It’s something that has been a stressor for years. I didn’t plan to hide you or our relationship. All I wanted was time to do it in my own way, at my own pace, and you couldn’t understand that. Instead of staying with me that night so we could talk and work through this together, you left me alone. Then you came home and I saw the evidence of your betrayal. One fight and you find someone else. I must not have meant as much to you as I thought. Is that why it was so easy to just blow me off again today?

Baby: The ball is in your court now. I’ve spilled my heart to you, to the team. If I’m not what you want then fine, but we have to find a way to coexist for the team. For Carter. He’s your best friend and I won’t be the cause for the two of you not talking. Make it right with him.

That night is still one of the biggest regrets of my life. In my moment of anger and anguish, I did the stupidest shit I’ve ever done, and that’s saying a lot. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t accept Chase’s grand gesture with his confession of love. He’d never forgive me for what I did. I don’t forgive myself.

Carter: Where are you?

Me: Viking’s Nest, you know that.

Carter: OMW

Me: Thinking about heading out. I’ll let the guys know you’re coming in case I do.

I love Carter, but I don’t feel like dealing with him tonight. All he’s going to do is talk to me about Chase and how I need to give him a chance, especially after he came out for me. The thing is, I know he’ll talk me into it. No matter how mad I am at him wanting to keep our relationship a secret, I still love him.

Sweat begins to bead on my forehead, anxious about Carter’s pending arrival.

Carter: Heading to your dorm? I’ll meet you there.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

There’s no way in hell I can have this conversation with him sober. A server heads my way and I raise my hand, waving her over.

“What can I get you?” She juts her hip out as she places a hand on the table, leaning into me, her tits spilling over the top of her shirt. Any other time, I’d be in to it. But right now I have two people occupying my mind. One man and one woman.

“Yeah, can I get four shots of tequila and two beers? Whatever’s on draft.”

She tilts her head slightly, letting a lock of her auburn hair fall across her cheek. Her lips curl into a slow, deliberate smile. Her eyes sparkle, meeting mine for a lingering moment before darting away, only to return with an inviting gaze that tells me she wants me.

“Sure thing, baby. I’ll be right back.” She turns to walk away but pauses, looking back over her shoulder. “My name’s Frannie, just in case you were wondering.” She winks before shaking her hair and heading toward the bar, her hips swaying more than they need to.

I look back at my phone and switch back to the message thread with Chase. My finger lingers over the screen, trying to decide if I should reply or not. I can’t deny I love him. I was angry that night and flew off the handle, but then I got shit faced and fucked everything up.

I’m so caught up in my own turmoil, I don’t even notice that the server’s standing right beside me. Frannie, I think that was her name, sets the shots and beers down in front of me. The tips of her fingers trail along my arm as she smiles brightly down at me. “Can I get you anything else?”

“Nah, I’m good right now.” I flash a smile back at her before picking up one of the shots and downing it, then repeating with the next. She lingers at my side for a moment, maybe waiting for me to talk to her more, or maybe flirt back, I’m not sure, but when she’s waved over by another table, I let out a sigh of relief.

The ball’s in my court. It’s what he said. I can’t do this. To see the way he’ll look at me when he finds out. I pick up the phone, reading his message again. I can just tell him, and we can work through it together, then meet with Carter to address the whole Ginny fiasco. She’s fucking here. I never thought I’d see her again, or that the feelings for her would still be there when I did.

I pick up another shot and drink it before finishing off the final one. My head’s already beginning to get fuzzy and the room is spinning slightly. Either I’m drinking them too fast or she gave me some good shit.

Looking at my phone again, I make the hard decision.

Me: Stop messaging me. You wanted to keep me in the closet, a secret. Just because you had a change of heart, it’s too late. What happened can’t be fixed. If we aren’t together then there’s no betrayal. The problem between you and me doesn’t affect Carter.

I pick up the beer and chug it, slamming the empty glass down on the table, causing some liquid to slosh out of the one I got for Carter, just in case he shows up. He’s not here, so I guess it's mine now.

My hands grip the glass, pulling it closer to me while I look at my abandoned phone on the table, still open to my message with Chase. My heart races as my eyes fixate on the screen, anxiously watching as three small dots bounce on the screen by his picture. It’s maddening, like a drum roll that refuses to end. Each rise and fall of the bubbles holds the promise of words—answers, confessions, something significant. A knife deeper into my heart.

A thousand thoughts race through my mind: What is he about to say? Why is it taking so long? I pick up the phone, gripping it tighter, feeling the minutes stretch into an eternity. The bubbles stop suddenly, and my breath catches. But then they reappear, teasing me again, until finally a message appears.

Baby: I knew telling you how I felt was a mistake, but Carter encouraged me, made me think you felt the same. But you don't. If you loved me like you claimed, you’d be fighting for us instead of tossing all our years in the trash. Don’t worry, I won’t message you anymore. I’ll be civil on the ice, but we’re done.

His words hit me harder than I had anticipated. It’s over. He’s not going to fight for us. But I can’t expect him to, not when I wasn’t doing the same.

Slamming the phone back down on the table, I wave the needy server, Frannie, back over. “Yeah baby, what can I get you?”

“Four more shots and two more beers.” She places her hand on my shoulder and leans over, giving me the perfect view of her breasts. “I get off at midnight. We can go back to your place and have some fun.” She nibbles on my ear.

“He’s drunk and not going home with you.” A venomous tone cuts through the air from the side of the table. Glancing up, I see Carter standing there, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed to slits. His nostrils flare as he watches Frannie pull back, the fury radiating off him as she rolls her eyes and scurries away.

“So, this is what you’re doing now? Fucking around with anyone who throws themselves at you? I thought you loved my brother? You swore to me you wouldn’t hurt him. Now I see this after finding out the night the two of you had a fight, you came home with visible signs of having sex with someone else. What the fuck, Blake?” He drops down in the booth across from me, taking the half empty beer that was sitting in front of me and guzzling it.

“Mine and Chase’s fight has nothing to do with you.” I clear my throat as I brace myself for his response.

“The fuck it doesn’t. He’s my brother and you’re fucking treating him like trash. This isn’t you, Blake. My best friend wouldn’t be doing this. How could you cheat on him, especially after saying you loved him?” “It’s complicated.” Frannie steps back up to the table, setting the drinks down in front of me, flashing me a smile before glaring at Carter.

“Fuck off, he’s not going to fuck you. He’s into dick. One that’s attached to a body that’s identical to mine, so go find someone else to latch your talons into.”

She opens her mouth to say something but must remember where she’s at. “Find a new server to help you or go to the bar.” She rushes away, mumbling under her breath.

“Now, spill. Why did you cheat on my brother instead of staying and working the shit out?”

That’s the ten million dollar question: why I did what I did that night.

We both sit there, staring the other down. He’s not going to let this go. I should’ve left and went home when he messaged instead of drinking.

“What does it matter? We’re not together and we’re not going to be. I made a mistake, but it doesn’t change the fact he wanted to hide our relationship from everyone.” I pick up one of the shots and down it.

“He didn’t want to hide it, Blake. All he wanted was a little time to come out on his own. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Hell, if you had talked to him, he might not have even wanted that. Now, stop avoiding the question. Why did you fucking cheat on my brother? I warned you not to hurt him, so before I kick your ass, I want to know what you did.”

I bite my lip before pushing one of the shots over to him. “You might want to drink this.”