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Her voice breaks, eyes shiny with sudden tears. I can’t help but reach across the table and cover her hand with mine.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to revisit those moments if you don’t want to,” I say. “I just thought…I don’t know. I thought you were all for this regressive therapy thing.”

Laura closes her eyes and breathes deep. When she opens them again, she meets my irises directly.

“Mostly, I did it for you, Rhue. I mean, sure, I would like to remember my own deeds, but seeing where I ended up, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that I wasn’t happy.

Besides, I did it in front of Dad. I think maybe that means something.

My therapist thinks that maybe it was more of a cry for attention than it was an attempt to die.

I know you and dad don’t see eye to eye.

Hell, he and I aren’t always on the same team, but every time I remember that, what he must’ve been through… fuck.”

“Hey. Language. Remember?” I grunt softly.

“Why do we keep revisiting that day when all it does is hurt me and Dad, not to mention you? Can’t we just put it behind us, instead, and focus on healing?

” She pauses to grin. “That’s what the Doc suggested, by the way.

Apparently, I’ve blocked the memory out so ferociously that every attempt at opening that can of worms only makes me more anxious, more aggravated. ”

I let a heavy breath out and release her hand.

She needs love and sympathy right now. She needs forgiveness and affection.

She’s right. I can’t have her picking at that old scab to solely satisfy my morbid curiosities.

Well, not really morbid curiosities. More like a need to understand what happened the day I came home and found the ambulance and three police cars outside my house just three months after we’d buried Mom.

There is only so much I can take. Something happened that hurt my sister.

Something pushed her to the point of wanting to die, and I can’t get rid of the need to know exactly what it was.

Nevertheless, she wants to let it go. I cannot push her.

“Dad has been through enough, too. I’m already punishing him aplenty by messing with Steve and overspending on my cards,” Laura adds with a giggle. It doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Maybe we should just take a break as a family.”

“I actually agree. We’ve had enough trouble for the year, already.”

“How’ve you been?” she asks, eager to change the subject.

“How’ve I been? I just started college,” I reply with a chuckle. “A little nervous, maybe, but definitely excited.”

“What about Madison? I heard from her dad that she was going to Cornell, too,” she says.

And just like that, my entire evening goes to shit. The food loses its taste. The kick in the spices is gone. Even the floral bouquet from my wine has vanished. I’m left with a bitter staleness on the tip of my tongue and rising blood pressure.

“Have you two seen each other yet?” Laura asks. It’s like a knife twisting in my wound, slashing and tearing and filling everything with fresh blood, sending ripples of red-hot pain through my body. “I think Mr. Willis said she’s majoring in anthropology, like you.”

“I really don’t wanna talk about that whore,” I reply, my tone tight and clipped.

She raises an eyebrow at me. “Dude. Are you still hating on her for the affair?”

“Should I canonize her, instead?”

“It’s just… You know what Dad’s like. He’s pushy.

Influential. He gets what he wants,” Laura says, suddenly serious.

Hell, she’s almost grim. This is odd, coming from her.

She’s always worshipped the man, though he has been treating her like shit, lately.

Especially since the accident. He acts like she’s a nuisance, an annoying appendix he has to make sure is well fed and cared for.

Yet despite all that, Laura usually defends him.

“You mean to tell me Madison wasn’t asking for it?”

Laura shrugs. “I don’t know. I wasn’t there. But let’s both admit it. Julian Echeveria is a grade A dick when it comes to women. Even Mom knew that. Hell, it’s probably what—”

“Don’t,” I cut her off, already shaking. “Don’t go there, please.” Or else I’ll projectile vomit everything I’ve managed to eat until now.

“Listen, I talk to Madison once in a while. She did try to apologize a couple of times, but I stopped her,” Laura says. “She used to teach me math and physics, remember? For two whole years, before she even graduated. Thanks to her I got my GPA up.”

“That’s because she was paid to do her fucking job.”

“Point is, maybe listen to her side of the story. It takes two to tango.”

Oh, Madison and my father absolutely tangoed that day. “I don’t even want to hear about her. Why do you insist on bringing her up?” I reply, inching closer to the dark edge.

“You really liked her, Rhue. More than you’ve liked any other girl.”

“Things change. Times change. People change,” I hiss.

She passes the Kung Pao box over to me, and I hand over what’s left of the spring rolls, cringing as I notice just how tight my grip is.

“Rhue, you’ve had nothing but pain and misery and suffering. Don’t you think it’s time to move on? It’s been a shitty year for all of us.”

“And you want me to move on with the very woman who broke up our family?”

Laura throws her head back with a cold cackle. “Oh, Big Brother, if you think Madison’s the one who destroyed our family, you’re an idiot. Dad broke his wedding vows. He cheated. If you can get over what he did, you kinda have to get over what Madison did, too.”

And so I am left staring at my sister. The girl who had once worshipped Julian Echeveria like some kind of god.

Even when I would have liked nothing more than to break his fucking jaw, Laura held me back.

Looking at our relationships now, I see it.

The dysfunction. Our individual inability to pull away from the toxic elements within our family.

I thought Laura hated Madison too. But then again, I never knew her ambivalence towards our father was so acute.

Perhaps this is the manifestation of some kind of emotional outcome.

The years of crookedness and wrongfulness in our family, mainly caused by Dad’s shitty behavior…

maybe now the chickens have finally come home to roost. If Laura is trying to defend Madison, then maybe that means she’s starting to see dad for who he truly is.

In that sense, she’s catching up with me.

Despite what Laura says, I doubt I will ever pardon Madison for what she did.

There’s a part of me that hopes Laura will understand that.

Another part knows she probably never will.

After all, my sister wasn’t the one on the verge of falling in love with Madison. No, that was me.