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“Likely because we made it here first,” she chuckles.

The beer is starting to work a little bit of its magic, fuzzing my brain a bit and working away some of the tension that was left in me.

“Where are we going with this, Rhue?” Madison voice breaks the silence we’d fallen into. I know she’s not talking about the hazing ritual. “Because it will never be the way it was. You know that, right?”

“I know that, yes. But at least for tonight I’d like us to be out of the red zone. Think I’ve got a shot in hell at that?”

“I don’t want to fight anymore,” Madison breathes, her gaze locked on mine. “But I don’t want to keep looking over my shoulder, either. I think we can just shake hands and part ways and call it quits right here. I will never bother you. And you will never bother me.”

I’m thinking it’s the beer, but somehow what she said doesn’t make me feel that much better.

So much of my life recently has been focused on Madison.

That focus might not have been positive, but it was still something to waste my time on.

Someone to be angry at. Someone to hate.

Someone to make hurt at least half as much as I was hurting.

It’s hard to imagine what life will be like if we never interact again.

“Can you imagine how different this would be if we were actually friends? If––I don’t know––we’d never met before the beginning of the term?” I ask.

“I can,” she says and there’s so much sadness in her voice when she says it.

A part of me would give anything to pick at her thoughts right now. The other part of me doesn’t quite think I’d be up for the challenge.

I take another sip of my beer and allow more silence to settle in. This time, it’s not Madison who breaks it.

A whimper reverberates from the porch. Madison and I freeze as we begin to realize what is happening outside. The air becomes cluttered and unbreathable, as hot as though we were abandoned on the lip of an active volcano.

I slowly pull the lace curtain back, just in time to see Lindsey’s jeans and boots dumped on the floor. The blankets are spread on the sofa, the jackets bundled up as pillows.

Cameron’s jeans are off, too, along with his boxer shorts. Lindsey gets on her back, and Cameron goes down on her. They’re either too drunk or too horny to care if anyone can see them. Maybe they think we’re fast asleep in here. It doesn’t really matter.

Lindsey gets vocal as Cameron tastes her with a growing appetite. She throws her head back and pulls her sweater up, revealing a black lace bralette which holds her small but perky breasts.

His hands move up while his mouth stays focused on the hot spot.

Madison is staring at Cameron and Lindsey outside.

He’s squeezing her breasts, making her arch her back as he suckles harder on the hot little nub between her legs.

It’s just her whimpers and the wind moaning through the woods, along with my uneven breathing.

I feel a fire burning in me as I watch them.

Except, I know that fire belongs to someone it shouldn’t dare to want to belong to.

I will rot in hell for this, but…fuck it.

I move closer to Madison, banishing the thoughts of how dumb this is as I allow the alcohol to make mad decisions for me.

By the time Madison realizes what’s happening, it’s too late for the both of us. She broke my family and my heart, she doesn’t deserve to taste this fucking good. My logical brain tells me to stop this madness. The steel-hard rod in my pants tells me that one time won’t fucking hurt.

My heart beats frantically as I put my arms around her waist and just hold her. “Tell me ‘no’ and I’ll stop,” I whisper in her ear.

She sucks in a breath.

Out on the porch, Lindsey is squirming against Cameron’s mouth, her orgasm long and loud and fucking enticing.

My cock jumps, pressed tightly against Madison’s firm ass.

For months during our tutoring sessions, I fantasized about grabbing a handful of it, only to see my father pound it. Shit. No, stop.

I close my eyes and shake my head for a second, desperate to get that memory out of this moment.

Cameron gets up and rests one knee on the sofa, while Lindsey keeps her legs wide open. Steam rolls off their bodies, but neither is willing to stop. She tells him something and pinches her nipples between two fingers, while Cameron strokes the whole length of his surprisingly big cock.

I’m not one to normally stare, but I am impressed and intrigued. Lindsey continues to tease her reddened nipples, and Cameron squeezes his erection tighter as his hand moves up and down, faster and harder.

Madison and I are glued to one another, our breaths ragged, but neither is doing or saying a word. She’s had plenty of time to push me away, yet she hasn’t.

I allow one hand to slip around and settle on her lower abdomen. I feel the jeans and the front buttons of her shirt, so my fingers decide to go exploring underneath the fabric.

Soon enough, Madison exhales sharply and rests her head against my shoulder while my hand finds her breast. She’s not wearing a bra tonight, and I am absolutely delighted to feel the warm fullness in my palm, soft yet firm, a delicate nipple hardening into a glass cutter as soon as my fingertips flutter over it.

Cameron has had enough. He spears Lindsey with his full length. She cries out, but loves every fucking second of it. This is weird, but I like it. It’s like watching live porn, and it seems to be doing something to Madison and me, too.

I welcome the sensations that burst through my body like sparks, a torrent of hot white catalysts torching everything in their path as Madison takes a deep breath. Her breast presses into my hand as if urging me to squeeze. And so, I squeeze, forcing the softest of moans out of her.

I catch a glimpse of her half-closed eyes. The blue in her irises is dark, almost black, and she’s watching Cameron and Lindsey outside. Whether it’s the beer or just the atmosphere of this place, I’m not sure, but it’s doing something incredible.

Cameron starts out slow, at first, going in and out with his full length while Lindsey adjusts to his size. She brings one hand down to rub her clit while keeping the other on her right breast.

As if mirroring her movements, I move my left hand closer to Madison’s crotch, keeping the right on her breast. Cameron starts to fuck Lindsey faster, now. My cock is so damn hard, I fear I might explode.

It’s been a while since I’ve had my share, unable to wipe that image of Madison and my father from my head. Fortunately, I’ve got her, now and drunk me is fucking determined to erase that image with a better one.

My left hand slips into Madison’s jeans and beneath her panties.

“Fuck,” I mumble, my fingers dipping into the hot wetness of her folds. She’s slick and just as aroused as I am, that much is obvious, but if I push this, it will blow up in my face.

I focus my index and middle finger on her clit.

It’s a hard little button of raw flesh that is desperate for attention.

I caress it slowly, at first, much like Cameron did with Lindsey.

They’ve progressed, though, Cameron pounding into Lindsey now, like a fucking animal.

I take my time with Madison, tightening my hold on her.

Her breast is warm and eager. Her pussy wants more. When she presses her ass harder against my cock it takes every ounce of strength to hold back and not rip her clothes off, right here and right now.

I let my fingers go deeper between her slick folds and find the core waiting to be filled. I position the base of my palm against her clit and push my fingers in. Madison unravels almost immediately, her hands gripping the sides of my legs as she no longer knows what to do with herself.

This sort of receptiveness gives me hope.

Treacherous, dangerous hope, but hope nonetheless.

We’re not indifferent to each other, that much is obvious and undeniable.

Outside, Cameron is standing, with Lindsey riding him hard, legs tied around his waist. He bounces her up and down, her blonde locks bouncing, too.

The deeper he goes, the more she likes it.

I can appreciate a cock-hungry girl like that.

I wonder if Madison will do the same if I take her.

I move my lips to Madison’s neck, kissing and licking, while my fingers rub dangerous circles around her clit.

Her pussy tightens and ripples like the surface of a lake disturbed by a thrown rock.

Each wave is pure pleasure as she groans softly and trembles against my body.

Fuck, my cock hurts, but I take great joy in having done this to her.

She becomes putty in my hands as she rides out the orgasm, and so I take my time with exploring the gooey wonders of her temporarily sated pussy.

Finally, I take my hand out and taste her on the tip of my tongue.

Sweet and salty, the best of both worlds.

She gives me a long sideways glance, unable to move away from me.

She opens her mouth, wanting to taste herself, wanting to see what I’m so riled up on, perhaps.

Slowly, I place the slick index onto her lower lip.

The afterglow shimmers in her eyes, desire burning blue.

Her tongue briefly flicks the tip of my finger, and she stills for a long second.

On the porch, Cameron’s got Lindsey on her knees, on the edge of the old rattan sofa, fucking her so hard that I fear he might break her.

A slow minute goes by, and I wonder if I should go out and get Lindsey to finish me tonight. She’s too hot and horny to say no to much at this point. Cameron might not like it, but I think I can get him to play along.

“Fuck you, Rhue,” Madison hisses and I wonder for a moment if I’ve said my thoughts out loud.

It’s not that I want to fuck Lindsey, it’s that a part of me is terrified of fucking Madison. If she gives me half the pleasure that I’ve given to her, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to go back to…To what? Hating her?

A horrified Madison has taken the place of the wondrous orgasmic creature I held until a minute ago. She pushes me back, the trance shattered just as Cameron unloads deep inside Lindsey, gasping and groaning like a furious hog, his figure stiff, jolted only by the currents of his climax.

“Madison—” I try to speak, but she slaps me hard and pulls her shirt down. Her lips are wet. I know other parts of her are wet, too.

Her cheeks are crimson red as she grabs her beer and walks across the living room.

“Fuck you, I said.” She is angry, but something about the way she’s moving tells me it’s not me she’s angry with.

No, she’s angry with herself. She didn’t see this coming.

Frankly, neither did I, and I don’t know what to do with it, either.

I only know that I loved every second of it.

Her pleasure was my pleasure. I can rub a healthy one out just by reminiscing about this moment.

But that was it. That is all I get from her tonight. It’s also all that I can give.

Madison is a walking open wound for which I am responsible. I’m not whole either and I doubt two broken people can make a whole.

Cameron and Lindsey have collapsed on the rattan sofa, steam rising and sweat dripping from their bodies as they cuddle and hide under the covers.

Chances are they’ll fuck plenty more times by morning, if only to keep themselves warm.

I, on the other hand, have once again attained a case of the blue balls, courtesy of Madison Willis.

I asked for this, though.

I fucking asked for it.

Much as I don’t like to admit it, I know that I will ask for it again.

What happened between her and me a year ago is not done.

It’s still here, a tiny ember flickering in the poisoned darkness.

But it’s still here. I’m not sure what can be done with it.

I don’t know what to do with the damage either – not the damage I’ve done to her or the damage she’s done to me.

Madison and I were almost something wonderful. We never made it there. Not even close. And for what seems like an eternity, I’ve only been seeing her the prism of that wretched affair with my dad.

Maybe once the buzz from the alcohol fades, that’s what will illuminate her once again.

Fuck, my head’s a mess.

My heart, too.