Page 24

Madison

“Hazing weekend? You mean to tell me that it’s actually a thing?

” I ask, pummeled by heat and frost concurrently and mercilessly as I am once again reminded that if I am to lead a fruitful social life in college, I must abide by the college rules—specifically, the unwritten ones about sororities, fraternities, and hazing rituals.

It’s my least favorite part, but Cornell University has an almost ancient tradition in that respect, and judging by Lindsey and Rita’s befuddled looks, I’d be an absolute moron not to partake.

I wonder if that’s even a choice. Surely, I could file a complaint— listen to yourself!

Snap out of it and get involved so you won’t die an old lady with too many cats!

“It is absolutely a thing,” Rita replies. She and Lindsey are standing outside my dorm room, dressed up in short khaki’s like kinky camp attendants, each with a bursting duffel bag on one shoulder. “And if you don’t go, you will forfeit your social life here. For good.”

“And you’re just now springing this on me?

” I blurt out, trying to catch up with the implications of what a hazing weekend might entail here.

I’ve heard stories, sure. Some good, some crazy, a few terrifying as hell, but people make stuff up all the time, especially when they want to impress new friends over drinks.

Over a lot of drinks, specifically. Chances are that half of the things I’ve heard aren’t even true.

“We thought you knew,” Lindsey murmurs, looking slightly insulted. “Everybody knows there’s hazing in the first year of college. Jesus, what rock have you been living under?”

I can’t help but frown at her. “You two have a lot of nerve to even show up here, to begin with. Did Rhue send you? Whatever he said, whatever he wants, I don’t want anything to do with it, or with him. You know what, maybe it’s better if you both just stayed away from me.”

“Whoa, whoa, relax,” Rita replies. “We’re here because we’re freshmen like you, Madison. If we stick together, we’ve got better odds at coming out of hazing weekend with our chins up and our egos intact.”

“Why aren’t you sticking together with Rhue, then?”

Lindsey sighs. “We made a mistake. We actually believed his good intentions about you, but then one of the guys heard what he told you the other day, you know, after the match with Harvard. We’re sorry, Madison.

Really. We thought we were helping you two get over whatever it is that happened with your relationship. ”

“We were never together,” I reply, trying to keep control of my tone.

The girls exchange glances, then look at me with hopeful glimmers in their eyes.

“Come on, Madison. I know how important it is for you to socialize, to step away from being an introvert,” Lindsey says.

“You can’t skip the hazing. I mean, yeah, you could, obviously, but you’ll be missing out and, to be honest, it’ll be pretty hard to fit back in if you do. ”

I’m taken aback. It feels like coercion, and it brings some nasty feelings into the pit of my stomach.

Someone did something similar to me before.

Conditioned me. Made it clear that if I didn’t let him consume me, there would be a terrible price to pay.

Why do I feel cornered? It’s just Rita and Lindsey.

I’m letting the past get the better of me, again.

They’re right, though. People my age, they don’t easily forget nor forgive.

College, much like previous forms of education, functions on a set of rules—a key one stating that participation proliferates acceptance.

If I’m to be accepted into this world, if I’m to step away from the old Madison, I cannot refuse hazing weekend.

I have to buckle up and brave whatever storms the seniors at Cornell send my way.

At least there’s that—the seniors and only the seniors get to haze the freshmen.

Plus, hazing incidents have brought some strict regulations over the years, and from what I’ve learned, my school is one of the mildest.

“Okay, fine. But I need a few minutes to pack a bag,” I say. “What am I going to need out there, anyway?”

“We leave now, and we’ll be back Sunday night. That’s three days and two nights out in the woods,” Rita replies.

“Wait. What woods?” I feel my breath cut short. “Will Rhue be there, too?”

Lindsey shrugs. “Well, he’s a freshman too. They’re rounding up everybody across the faculties, Madison. I don’t think they care about your personal animosities.”

“I’m told it’s Ithaca’s Natural Lands down south,” Rita says. “I think previous college generations built some cabins in those woods. Not sure if for hazing purposes or to get drunk without the risk of getting caught. I mean, it is deep in the forest.”

“Oh, great. That sounds like the beginning of every slasher movie ever,” I grumble.

Half-an-hour later, I’m in the back of Rita’s Prius while Lindsey rides shotgun.

We were given GPS coordinates, and my heart is the size of a flea as we leave Ithaca and the university behind.

I’d planned on spending this weekend reading and preparing for next week’s seminars, but I suppose mingling with the “locals” is a better way to get through.

The girls have made several compelling points as to why I’m better off joining them in this hazing endeavor.

Doesn’t make it any less weird or scary, but nothing the seniors might throw at me could possibly be worse than the things I’ve had to live with for the past year.

Old indie rock plays on the radio while I gaze out the window.

I can feel Rita’s eyes on me. Whenever I steal a glance at the rearview mirror, I see her looking my way.

But she hasn’t pushed for conversation, either.

It’s like she knows, deep down, that this conflict between Rhue and me is much filthier, much darker than he let on.

I think she’s now aware that he underplayed the gravity of that conflict solely so he could mess with my head and get within striking distance of me.

“I think we’re gonna see Cameron out there, too,” Lindsey says after a short break.

She’s been running her mouth since we got into the car, but I don’t mind.

I guess she’s a little nervous. Like Rita, she understands how Rhue fooled them both.

This is her way of making it up to me. Yapping nervously about everything and everyone. “He’s a freshman, right?”

“Mhm,” I reply.

“Well, I’m glad he apologized to you, Madison. Cameron seems like a great guy. Unlike Lindsey and me, he never bought into Rhue’s bullshit.”

“Whew, potty mouth!” Rita giggles.

I nod slowly, my eyes still focused on the things whizzing past us outside. “Cameron’s nice,” I hear myself saying. “I mean, he’s a good guy. He means well. It’s nobody’s fault, certainly not his, that this conflict between Rhue and me is spilling out and hurting the people around us.”

“Yeah, so like, what is up with that?” Rita asks, her gaze fixed on the road ahead.

There are dizzying turns, left and right, serpentine curves cutting through the thickening forest. One glimpse at the GPS device on her dashboard, and I can see there’s a country road we’ll have to follow soon.

“It really isn’t something worth talking about,” I tell her. “Trust me.”

“Well, secrecy doesn’t exactly invite trust, though, does it?” Rita replies.

I let out a heavy sigh. They can’t really be trusted, in the end.

I’d like to, but being social and friendly with people is one thing.

Trusting people who are still technically strangers to me is a whole other business.

I can do the former, but both Lindsey and Rita need to do more if they want me to do the latter.

“I’m sorry, but we’re not friends,” I tell them. “I’d like us to be friends. To reach that point where we can share our most intimate thoughts and our most guarded secrets, but look at us. We’re still awkward around each other, and that’s okay. This dynamic of ours is only just getting started.”

Lindsey turns her head to look at me, and I can tell she’s amused. “That’s a bit hurtful.”

“Tell me something you don’t want anyone else to know, then.

Trust me with something you value deeply, and I will reciprocate,” I reply, my brow furrowed.

I may be eager to make friends, but I’m certainly not foolish or na?ve.

They need to understand that, and their silence tells me everything I need to know.

“Yeah, figured that much. So, let’s leave Rhue and my history with him out of these conversations, going forward.

Believe me, you’re both better off without any of that knowledge, to begin with.

If we do get to the point of being really good friends, I’ll gladly tell you all about how Rhue Echeveria and I became—”

“Mortal enemies?” Rita chuckles.

I allow myself to smile. “Guess you could say that. Though the last thing I want is to wish him any kind of ill. Truth be told, I’m the one gunning for peace, and he’s the one demanding that I suffer indefinitely for my sins.”

“Men, huh?” Rita snorts a laugh.

I laugh with her. But even that does nothing to loosen the stiffness of the moment.

By the time we reach the meeting point, I am slightly more comfortable around them.

The girls’ intentions are definitely good, but when Rhue is so influential and well-spoken and disarmingly handsome, it’s kind of hard not to be tempted in taking his word over whatever I might say.

As we get out of the car, I understand why it’s better for us to stick together.

It’s one thing to hear the stories about hazing ritual, and a whole other thing to become an active participant.

There are only twenty of us, to begin with. That’s the first red flag. “Something’s off,” I mutter, inching closer to Rita as we stay close to the car.

I recognize Cameron and a few others from our faculty.

All of them seem as confused and as wary as the three of us.

We’re on the edge of a narrow country road.

About fifty yards ahead, I can see the pavement ending, but the road continues with just dirt and rocks.

The forest rises around us with giant old pines and the occasional sprinkle of aspens and oaks.

Aside from the car headlights, there is nothing but darkness. Darkness, and the rustling of leaves.

“Is it just us?” Cameron asks as he and the others approach us. He seems shy. Worried, even. Ah, fresh meat for the seniors, indeed.

“Anthropology majors, you mean?” I ask, recognizing the rest of our year. Rhue leans against his car at the far end, closer to the dirt road. He doesn’t even look at us. Not that I would like any of his attention right now.

Rita checks the GPS coordinates with the others.

“Well, we’re definitely in the right spot,” she says.

“And yeah, I think it’s just us anthropology majors,” she adds, giving a few nods to greet the others.

It doesn’t take long for her to get antsy.

“Oh, man, I don’t like this. What the hell are we doin’ here in the middle of nowhere? ”

It’s a good question, especially since the sun has already set and the night has taken over this side of the woods.

Soon enough, we’ll see a moon rising, a big white pearl that will keep us company until morning.

It seems so peaceful and quiet, completely uncharacteristic of what I imagine a hazing ritual party might look like.

But then I hear the footsteps, leaves crunching and twigs crackling beneath their boots.

“Welcome, freshmen!” a female says, her voice heavy and cutting through the evening as she emerges from the tenebrous forest. “I see you’ve all made it in one piece.

Congratulations. It means you’re all a teeny bit smarter than those who proudly label themselves sophomores this year.

” Her remark stirs laughter from somewhere behind her.

There are five others present. Seniors, I presume, like the leading lady. They’re all wearing long white capes with Cornell’s crest embroidered on their chests in red and gold. The hoods are pulled, and I can barely make out their faces, but I definitely know the woman.

“I’m Mackenzie Jefferies, and I am the Master of Ceremonies this year,” she says, proudly raising her arms. “The five gentlemen behind me serve to enforce the ritual’s rules and regulations. We can’t have a hazing without some order, I’m afraid, for everybody’s safety.”

“Why is it just us?” Cameron asks, but Mackenzie shushes him.

“Trap shut, please! I did not give you permission to speak!” She nods at us. “Freshmen, line up. It’s about to get wild.”

I’m not sure whether to consider her an actual figure of authority or just play along to make her feel good about herself.

As if reading my mind, Lindsey gives me a discreet nudge. “Let’s be nice and cooperate, Madison. We came all the way here.”

That’s not going to be easy. Not with Rhue’s eyes on me.

I can hear him walking towards us, ready to get in line as per Mackenzie’s request. I can’t read his expression.

He keeps his cards close to his chest, but I can feel the atmosphere loading up with the heady, toxic energy of many things left unspoken.

This will be a difficult weekend. And it’s too late for me to turn back now.