Page 40 of Love by Design (Club Rapture: Risk Aware #1)

MARSHALL

“ H ow is your boyfriend?” Smith asked, sliding into the spot beside me at our usual booth. His arrival before Finn’s was unusual, though, and I threw a sideways glance at him as he settled in and reached for the wine I’d preemptively ordered for him.

“He’s well. And how are you, Smith?”

My brother had spent most of the week avoiding me, which was on brand. His early arrival was not. Neither of us did well with emotions, but I’d had a whole lifetime of being prompt behind my belt, and he still struggled to manage his time.

“Great.”

“Are you lying?”

He rolled his eyes at me, leaning back against the creaking leather booth and stretching his legs into what would eventually be Hunter’s space. “Why would I be lying?”

I sighed, not wanting to press the issue when the twins were due any minute.

It was actually five minutes, and they showed up together, another unusual mark on the box for the night. If I was being honest, that didn’t bode well for the conversation the four of us were due to have, but there was no way around it at that point.

“I see you’re pre-lubed,” Finn said instead of hello, raising his glass in my direction as he slid in to make room for Hunter.

“Jesus,” Hunter muttered.

Finn laughed at him. “No, I imagine Silas Ayres is the pre-lubed one in that relationship, now that you mention it.”

“He didn’t mention anything,” I said.

Hunter shrugged helplessly, and Smith took a larger than socially acceptable swallow of his wine.

“I guess we should just get down to it,” I suggested.

I knew none of us would want to eat until we’d dealt with the Andrew Calavert-sized elephant in the room.

While we all sipped at our drinks, I looked around the booth, appreciating the way the four of us fit together.

The way we fit into each other’s lives. It was a blessing, I wagered, that Andrew didn’t want any part of that.

“I spoke with him earlier today.” Hunter fidgeted with a gold signet ring he wore on his pinky finger, rubbing the top of the insignia with his thumb. “He’s offered to come to LA since it’s just him traveling, versus all four of us going to San Diego.”

“I was looking forward to a road trip,” Finn teased.

“I would rather shoot myself than be stuck in a car with you for two hours,” Hunter said, now spinning the ring around his smallest finger. “I told him we get together every Friday, and he suggested next week.”

“Eager beaver,” Finn said.

“I’m sure he just wants to get it out of the way,” Smith said, staring down into his wine.

He was clearly still not in a good place about the new brother revelation, but I wasn’t sure how to help him.

He looked to me for reassurance, looked to me as a model, but was also so resistant to advice in the times it didn’t suit him.

I wasn’t one to ponder the sorts of sex or relationships my brothers had—we’d never been that close—but Smith would do well with someone to drag him out of his head on nights like this.

“Either way. If that’s the case, we’ll have to change our reservation,” I said.

“I’d rather we meet him somewhere else,” Smith whispered.

I patted his thigh. “Adding him to the reservation once isn’t going to make this restaurant any less ours, Smith.”

“I hate to admit you’re right,” Finn agreed.

Hunter was still at it with his ring. I’d never seen him so nervous. He didn’t respond to either of us.

And for the first time, part of me didn’t want to meet Andrew.

He had no interest in the Covington name, something my brothers and I were extremely proud to carry, issues with our father notwithstanding.

And all he’d done since his arrival in our lives was cause nervousness and upset.

It had always been my responsibility as the oldest to keep my three younger brothers safe, and Andrew’s existence made it very hard to do that.

“You know…” I paused, swishing some wine around in my mouth to make sure the idea still tasted like a good one. “We don’t have to meet him.”

“What?” Finn’s eyes went wide, alight with amusement.

Hunter’s hand went still.

“We don’t have to,” I said. “It was different when we were younger…when you were younger. But we’re all adults now, and we don’t have to welcome anyone else into our fold.”

Beside me, Smith went tense, his mouth tipping down into a very tight and miserable-looking frown. The twins were silent, and after a minute or two, Hunter began to tap away nervously at his ring again.

“I want to,” he said softly.

“So do I,” said Finn .

Smith shrugged one of his shoulders halfway toward his ear which felt like as much of a yes as I’d get in the moment.

“Okay,” I conceded. “I just wanted to remind you that we don’t have to if we don’t want to. All of you are not yourselves right now, and I’m not a fan of it.”

“And you are?” Hunter asked.

“Aren’t I?”

Finn snorted. “He’s just tangled up with that little boyfriend of his.”

“Am I?” I gestured to the table, to the restaurant. “Is he here right now? Or am I here with my three degenerate brothers instead?”

“Have you told him that you love him yet?” Finn asked.

He clearly meant it as a tease, the way he’d shifted to press his back against the wall, one leg bent at the knee and pulled up onto the bench of the booth, his bourbon held lazily in hand.

My face must have betrayed my answer because his eyes went wide in shock. More than he’d shown two weeks earlier when Hunter had told us all about our new brother.

“We haven’t even met him, Marshall,” Finn chided. “What if we don’t approve?”

“Smith has met him.”

Finn turned his attention toward Smith, that playful amusement continuing to dance across his face.

Smith was still uncomfortable, but I felt the way he was forcing himself to try and relax back into normalcy with us.

Teasing me was something the three of them had always done, though in most instances they’d ribbed me about being single.

My relationship with Silas gave them new material to work with, and I was happy to let myself be a distraction for them.

“What do you think about him?”

“He’s fine. A little clingy. ”

Hunter was the one to laugh at that, looking at me curiously over the rim of his drink. “Is he now?”

“There’s nothing wrong with enjoying physical affection,” I said. “Sorry the three of you are absolutely touch-starved.”

With the last few words, I turned my stare toward Finn.

I’d been unable to get the vision of him kissing that clearly married woman out of my head.

There’d been no opportunity between Wednesday and today to bring it up to him, and while he would have definitely called me out about it in front of everyone, I would never.

I’d planned to take advantage of our first few minutes together at dinner to ask him about it, but Smith had arrived first and thrown that idea right out the window.

Finn caught my stare and blinked at me slowly, his expression giving away nothing about whatever marital infidelity he was helping to facilitate.

“I do love him,” I told my brothers. “And I would like you to spend some time with him, but I also don’t think now is the best time.”

“I can do two things at once, Marshall.” Finn gestured vaguely with his hand, and I wondered just how true his statement would turn out to be in the end.

“I can be angry Dad didn’t keep it in his pants while Hunter and I were in first grade and eager to meet the man who’s stolen my stoic older brother’s heart. ”

“Exactly,” Hunter added.

“Well, next Friday is out if Andrew will be here.”

The three of them paused, then nodded in a slow kind of agreement.

“The week after that?”

“You know we can see each other on days that don’t start with F, right?”

“He’s starting a new job on Monday, and he needs time to settle in.”

“He’s not working with Stanley anymore?” Smith asked, the earlier frown having finally leveled out into something that almost resembled a straight line across his face.

“His dad—” I paused, unsure if it was my story to tell or not. After a beat, I settled on the CliffsNotes version. “He’s not working with his dad anymore.”

Hunter and Finn gave me matching amused expressions across the table, arched brows and all. They really could have been twins in every sense of the word besides the one that counted the most.

“Where’s his new job?” Finn asked.

“You can ask him in two weeks.”

“You’re no fun.”

“So you say,” I drawled, favoring a drink of wine over more conversation with Finn.

“I’ll tell him yes then,” Hunter blurted, and the tension was back.

“Yes,” I said for the rest of us. “I’ll make a reservation on Monday and send everyone the information. You can pass it along.”

“Okay.”

The waiter came by to check on our drinks and, as if on cue, my stomach growled loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“Are we ready to order?” the waiter asked, and beside me, Smith finally laughed.

We’d gone from dinner to a nightcap when Silas texted me about going to Rapture with Lincoln.

I read and re-read the message on my phone, Finn’s animated voice while he told Smith and Hunter a story about something that definitely didn’t have to do with whatever he’d been doing at dinner last Wednesday, then gave Silas my answer.

A lesser man might have said no .

Hell, my first instinct had been to say no, but not because I was jealous or worried about Silas cheating on me.

He was definitely attractive enough to do that if he wanted—which I doubted was the case—but I was more worried about his safety.

He hadn’t been to Rapture since the night we’d met there, since his assault, and I wasn’t sure how returning to the scene of that almost-crime would sit with him.

I took reassurance in knowing he had Lincoln with him, and even though Lincoln was femme and flighty, he loved Silas as much as I did—maybe more, while also differently.

If I wasn’t threatened by their friendship, there was no need for me to be threatened by the two of them having a night out together.

It was unreasonable to assume their Fridays would always consist of them being holed up in their apartment together watching movies and eating takeout. Especially while I was out myself.

Their apartment.

I rolled those words around in my head, not liking the sound of them.

I liked Silas in my home and my space, but I wagered until I thought of it as ours, I had no right to ask him to give up the former.

I was too buzzed on wine to have that conversation or those thoughts, so I shoved them into the back of my head.

During our text exchange, I’d given Silas instructions about what to wear and where to go at the end of his night, and I hadn’t asked for proof or confirmation of either.

There was already a trust between us that meant I didn’t have to, and I hoped he’d noticed that during our text exchange.

Even as I sat at the bar with my brothers, enjoying a fresh glass of wine, I had no idea if Silas was out at the club, at his apartment, or on his way back to my house.

The uncertainty didn’t bother me, and it was a new and unruly thing to have that sort of confidence in the devotion of another person whom I wasn’t related to .

The four of us finished our drinks and said goodnight just before midnight.

When I got home from dinner, Silas was in the shower. My dick immediately pulsed against my thigh, knowing what he was doing in there…what he was getting ready for. Even if I had no plans of fucking him, Silas followed orders. He knew what was expected, and he always delivered.

It was one of the many things I loved about him.

Unfortunately for us both, I’d had too much wine to be of any use to him. I’d left my car in the parking lot and let Smith drive me home. When he saw Silas’s car in my driveway, he made an amused sound but didn’t tease or chide me the way Finn often did.

Deciding to let Silas finish up in the shower in peace, I padded into the bedroom and stripped out of my work clothes.

After changing into a pair of plaid pajama pants, I sat down on the edge of the bed and prayed the room didn’t start to spin while I waited for Silas.

Thankfully, the floor and the walls remained at the correct angles, and then Silas was in front of me, dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist, held loosely in his hand.

“You’re home,” he said, a little breathless and a little surprised.

I hummed, beckoning him closer. He shuffled into the space between my spread legs, and I pulled the towel out of his hand, letting it fall to the floor. His cock was almost eye level, not hard but still impressively long and thick.

“God,” I murmured, dragging my nose down his length. “I love your cock.”

Silas made a desperate sound, swaying on his feet, and I pressed gentle kisses from root to tip, licking the taste of him straight from his slit.

“Sir. ”

“I think if I close my eyes long enough to make you come, the floor might come out from under me.”

I tried anyway, letting my eyes fall closed as I licked the underside of his glans. It was too late, and I was too deep. Reluctantly, I let go of his cock and bracketed my hands over the slender swell of his hips. I leaned in and kissed the barely there V that dipped down below his waist.

Humming, I pulled away.

“Are you drunk?” Silas asked, laughing under his breath.

“Not drunk, but also not not drunk. And it doesn’t help that I find you positively irresistible.” I kissed his navel, and an inch lower, then took his hands in mine and kissed his knuckles. “Do you want to go to bed or watch a movie?”

Slowly, Silas lifted his hands and slid his fingers into my hair. And maybe it was the wine buzzing through my blood, but it felt a lot like magic.

“A movie is good if you can manage it,” he murmured. “And a snuggle? Sir?”

I pressed my cheek against his stomach, wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed him in. My earlier thoughts about my house faded into oblivion as if he ever made the decision to leave me, I had no idea how I’d ever go back to existing without Silas in not just my space, but also my life.

“A snuggle sounds like a dream, sweetheart. A snuggle sounds like a dream.”