Page 19 of Love by Design (Club Rapture: Risk Aware #1)

MARSHALL

T uesday was hell.

I couldn’t get a single thing done, my brain far too wrapped up in Silas and the way every nerve in my body came alive when he kissed me.

When he kissed me .

He was so submissive and yet so sure, nothing like the man he’d been the night I walked in on him in the private playroom at Rapture.

The fact that had only been days ago was just as astounding as the rest of him.

The speed at which my feelings had manifested and developed was for textbooks.

Put a picture of my face right beside the words infatuation, obsessed, consumed.

Watching Silas go home at the end of the night had wrecked me, but he’d smirked and reminded me we hadn’t negotiated a sleepover.

My own rules coming back to bite me in the ass when all I wanted was to take him into my bed and keep him there until I’d never be able to wash the smell of him out of my sheets.

Might as well add my picture next to possessed too.

I had struggled through the morning, wanting to text him but not wanting to add desperate to the word list as well, so when Hunter reached out about getting lunch, I jumped at the chance.

He was closest with Finn, and even then he was reserved, so it was a rare treat when he wanted to get together one on one.

As soon as it was close enough to lunch, I shut my laptop, slid my cell phone into my pocket, and locked up my office.

The weather was nice, so I decided to walk the half-mile instead of driving.

Hunter had picked some ramen restaurant in a strip mall, and he was already sitting at the counter when I arrived.

The seat beside him was open, a glass of water already waiting for me.

Sliding up into the seat, I bumped my shoulder into his.

“Hey, baby brother,” I greeted.

He made an unimpressed noise. “I’m four years younger than you and a decade older than Smith.”

“Practically an infant,” I teased.

“Then Smith is a fetus?”

I chuckled and took a swallow of water. “Isn’t he?”

“Sometimes it seems like it.” Hunter sighed heavily, and I was suddenly worried he’d called me up for lunch because something was wrong with our youngest brother.

“What’s up, Hunter?” I asked, only to be interrupted by the waiter coming to take our order. I shrugged, and Hunter ordered for us both, waiting a beat after the waiter had left to answer me.

“It’s about Dad,” he said.

Dread filled the pit of my stomach, worse than when I’d thought something was going on with Smith. “What about him?”

It had been years since Finn and I had spoken to our dad.

He’d done his part, we’d agreed, getting us through high school and college, keeping us alive, though not nurtured.

We didn’t see the point in trying to build any lasting familial relations with him, so we hadn’t tried.

Smith had tried and failed to lay the foundation for a father/son relationship.

After giving up, he’d turned his sights on me, and I was more than happy to fill those shoes for him.

Hunter, on the other hand, had kept track of things without staying close.

They spoke twice a year, Dad giving Hunter updates about his financials—for the inheritances—and Hunter letting him know the four of us were still alive.

“He’s not dead,” Hunter said. “But…”

The way he trailed off had me unsure of what was going to come next. Not dead, but dying? Did he have cancer? I was getting older than the rest of them; was it something I should get checked for? Was it hereditary? Oh, maybe he had a heart attack…a stroke.

“Spill it.”

He exhaled, cheeks puffing out and deflating slower than molasses. Hunter was quiet, but he was rarely at a loss for words.

“There’s another brother,” he finally said, chewing on his lower lip and avoiding my stare.

“What now?”

The waiter was back, sliding two bowls of steaming hot ramen and the most perfect-looking soft-boiled eggs in front of us.

It smelled delicious, but I found myself worried I was about to throw up all over the noodles.

I reached for the glass and took a drink of water, swallowing down the bile and my nerves.

I was the oldest of us, and it was my responsibility to stay levelheaded about things.

To be reasonable.

“He’s been made aware of another son,” Hunter said.

“Son,” I repeated. “At least he’s consistent.”

My brother huffed out a laugh and cracked apart his chopsticks.

He’d clearly been sitting on this news for a while if he was able to dive into his meal like he’d just told me he bought a new car or rented a new apartment.

I opened my chopsticks up because it felt like the thing to do, even though I wasn’t sure I had it in me to eat anymore.

Finn would be amused to all hell by the news.

Smith would be devastated.

“Ask me the rest.” Hunter slurped up a mouthful of noodles and pork, finally glancing up at me.

“How old is he?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Where does he live?” I poked the tip of my chopstick into the almost runny yolk of the egg. My stomach growled, and I gave in, picking up the whole thing and shoving it into my mouth.

“San Diego.”

Of course. Dear old dad never went far from home.

“Why now?” I asked.

“His mom passed. It was all in the will.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since yesterday.” My brother dove in for another hunk of ramen, and I twirled a few strands of noodles up around my chopsticks and managed a bite.

“Have you talked to him?” I asked. “What’s his name?”

“Drew. Andrew.”

“Not Covington?”

He shook his head. “Andrew Neil Calavert.”

“What a name,” I drolled. “What did Dad say about it?”

“He’s known awhile, but he respects the contact schedule so he was saving it for the next time we talked. He said Drew is an only child?—”

“Was,” I corrected.

Hunter rolled his eyes. “Was an only child. Would be open to meeting us.”

“What does he want from Dad? Or what does he get from Dad, rather?”

Hunter had managed to eat almost all of his ramen while I processed the news of another sibling, and he shoved the bowl away from him with a grunt. He folded his hands together on top of his otherwise flat stomach and heaved a breath.

“He doesn’t want anything as far as I can tell. He gets added to the inheritance, but other than that…” he trailed off.

I finished eating.

“He wants to meet us?” I asked.

“He would be open to it.”

“What do you think?”

Hunter shrugged, and suddenly he was a teenager again, so young and unruly, so angry about the hand we’d all been dealt with mothers and a father like ours.

“I think whatever we do, we do together. We need to talk to Finn and Smith, but I wanted to talk to you first. I think Smith…”

“He’s not going to take it well,” I said.

Hunter shook his head.

I pushed the half-eaten ramen away and scrubbed a hand down my face. This was not the lunch I’d been expecting to have when Hunter had reached out earlier in the day. But I also shouldn’t have been surprised. Dad’s lack of affection for prophylactics was the most predictable thing about him.

“You want me to talk to him before Friday.”

“I think it would help,” he said. “I don’t want him to be caught off-guard.”

“If I talk to Smith separately, Finn will be pouty that he’s the last to know.”

“Shit, you’re right.”

I needed something stronger than water to get through the rest of this meal, the rest of my day.

“We tell them both on Friday,” I suggested. “I’ll just be available for Smith after. And you can talk to Finn if he needs anything.”

“Less than ideal, but it works. ”

“There is no ideal here, Hunt.” I shifted my weight to get my wallet, and Hunter was protesting before I’d managed to even get fingers around my cash.

I wasn’t like our dad in a lot of ways, but only some of them.

“No arguing,” I told him, throwing two twenties down onto the counter between our bowls.

“Sorry to drop this on you.” He stood up, rolling his head around his neck until he got the crack he was after. “But thank you for lunch.”

“Thank you for being the point of contact.”

I slid my wallet back into my pocket and walked with my brother to the door. Back outside, the sun was bright, the sky was clear, and everything was as it had been before I’d walked inside and had my world turned upside down.

Another brother.

Fuck.

“Before you go, though,” Hunter said, mouth pulling into a smirk. “Do you want to tell me about your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have a—” The protest died in my mouth, and his smirk turned into a very knowing smile.

“Finn told me all about it.”

“It’s new,” I muttered.

“He’s young.”

I exhaled, threading my fingers together at the back of my head. I arched my back, inches away from staring up into the sun and blinding myself completely. Maybe things would be easier that way.

“Does Smith know?” Hunter asked.

“It’s too new for any of you to know, but Finn is Finn.”

Hunter pulled his car keys out of his pocket, pressing the fob and unlocking his black BMW. “You can’t tell him both things at the same time, you know.”

“I know.”

I didn’t like the idea of lying to Smith, but Hunter was right.

Smith could maybe handle the addition of a new brother, if it was a good day, or he could handle finding out that I was finally in a relationship with someone—closer to his age than mine.

There didn’t seem to be a way where both could be delivered at the same time without feelings getting hurt or wires getting crossed.

“Drew first.”

I nodded my agreement.

“See you Friday.” He gave me a two-finger salute, and I stayed on the sidewalk, watching the taillights on his car until he turned a corner and was out of sight.

With a reluctant groan, I started the short walk back to the office, cursing my father and cursing myself. I’d spent the whole morning practically begging for a distraction from Silas, and the universe had delivered in the most dramatic fashion possible.

Back at the office, I flipped open my laptop and stared at the calendar.

I didn’t have much time left to finalize and return the proposal for the Cahuenga Pass project.

There was no question I’d win it, especially if Silas wasn’t going to redo the work his father had insisted on butchering out of the gate.

There wasn’t anything else for me to do with the numbers or the design.

It could wait until tomorrow. I’d give it one final review and then send it off.

I’d celebrate with my brothers on Friday about it, a counter to the news Hunter was going to drop on the rest of them.

That would be a fair enough balance, I hoped.

And then if all went well, I would see Silas on Saturday.

I would get to kiss him again, get to tie him to something uncomfortable, and fuck him again.

But it was so much more than that now. For both of us.

I would be able to feed him again, serve him dessert again, wash the folds of his thighs with soapy fingers, and maybe make him come in the shower.

The list of things I wanted to explore with him was never-ending, and daydreaming about them was the only thing that would get me through the monotony of my workdays.

Dropping my cell phone onto my desk, I opened up my messages app and fired one off to Silas, not sure if he would have time to reply immediately or if it would have to wait. I didn’t imagine Stanley was a fun boss to have, and I was relatively sure he made Silas work through lunch most days.

You distracted me last night with that tight, wet throat of yours. We need to talk more about the non-sexual things. I can’t stop thinking about you. About all of it.

I hit send before I could think better of it.

Maybe add my picture next to pathetic or whipped .

He replied almost immediately, which I hadn’t expected.

Silas

I want all of it. I know we have to negotiate it a little, but I do want to do it with you.

Can you talk?

He answered by calling me.

“Silas.”

“Hi.” He sounded winded, quiet.

“Are you sure you can talk right now?”

“I’m in the conference room alone. I have time,” he said.

“I’ll never ask anything of you that will put you in harm’s way, Silas. I’ll never make a demand of you that will jeopardize any of your relationships, including ours.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I want that to be enough. I want to start, and I want… ”

“What do you want, sweetheart?” My fingers flexed into a fist, relaxed, flexed again.

“I want you,” he said, clearing his throat. “I want you .”

“Send me a text with your sexual limits before the end of the day. Is that clear?”

A soft moan. “Yes, Marshall.”

“Do you have plans after work?”

“If we don’t have plans, I have plans with Lincoln, but?—”

“Do you need to spend time with him tonight?” I asked. “Since you were with me last night?”

“I can do both,” Silas said. “I can have dinner with him and then come over afterward.”

“I want the list before you get to my house.”

“I understand.”

Heat burned between my legs for how much I wanted this man. For how out of my mind the mere thought of him made me.

“Good boy, Silas.”

He whimpered.

He fucking whimpered.

“I’ve got to go,” he said quickly, sounding more hushed than he had before. “I’ll see you later.”

The call disconnected loudly in my ear, and I dropped the phone onto my desk with a groan.

I was going to put Silas’s father out of work for good, which would in turn put Silas out of a job.

We both knew it, but neither of us had ever discussed it.

I had a new brother, and that news was going to be received about as well as a grenade.

I was in a relationship with someone almost half my age, and I didn’t feel bad about it in the slightest.

It was too much.

Too much.

And I was so fucking fucked.