Page 29 of Love by Design (Club Rapture: Risk Aware #1)

“It was worse when Hunter and Finn showed up,” I admitted. “I was a lot younger, full of hormones and feelings I didn’t understand. I was older when you came around, but you were the one full of hormones and emotions then.”

Smith made a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat.

“You know there’s most certainly more than just the four of us, right?” I asked.

“Five.”

“More than just the five of us,” I said, letting him correct me. “Though, Andrew is hardly part of us, right? All we know is that we share half the same genetic make-up.”

“That’s all we used to share.”

“We were all kids.”

“You were almost thirty when you learned about me.”

I sighed, scrubbing a hand down my face. “What answer do you want, Smith? Do you want me to tell you that nothing is going to change and everything is going to stay the same? Or do you want me to tell you that everything is going to be different now that there’s another brother?”

“I don’t know,” he grumbled.

I knocked my shoulder into his, and the way he sagged against me confirmed my youngest brother needed a hug, not a tease. Slipping my arm around his shoulder, I pulled Smith into my arms and propped my chin on his shoulder.

“You’re still my baby brother. You’re still their favorite,” I said, referencing Hunter and Finn.

“Aren’t I your favorite?” he mumbled against my shoulder.

“Of course.”

“What if the next brother is younger than me?” he asked.

“It won’t change a single thing about who you are.”

“Am I being childish about this?”

Smith tried to worm out of the hug, so I ruffled his hair and set him free. “You’re not being childish. You’re being human.”

He exhaled loudly and shifted back to rest against his car again.

“Do you want to go back inside?” I asked. “Finish your wine, get some dinner?”

“Not really.”

“You don’t look like the kind of man who should be alone.”

“Probably not,” he agreed.

My earlier war over which of my priorities needed to take the top spot raged back to life. Silas was home waiting for me, but Silas had Lincoln. In this moment, Smith didn’t have anyone besides me.

“I’ll invite you over,” I said. “The guest room is always clean, but I need you to know that I have company.”

Smith raised his brows, and I knew I’d accidentally given him the distraction he’d been hoping for.

“Who?”

“I’m seeing Silas Ayres,” I admitted.

The corner of Smith’s eye twitched, and I stared him down, waiting for him to say something.

Anything.

What he finally gave me was, “Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Alright, I’ll come over,” he said, ignoring the confession that my boyfriend was closer to his age than mine.

“His best friend is also there, but he is going home after dinner. At least, I assume he is.”

“You have more than one spare bed if not,” Smith said.

“Yeah. Why don’t you run back in and let the twins know you’re coming home with me? We’ll all take some time to regroup and then decide what we want to do about Andrew.”

Smith grimaced, but nodded, then pushed off the car and trudged back into the restaurant.

As soon as he was far enough away to be out of earshot, I reached into my pocket for my phone.

I had to let Silas know I would be home earlier than I’d planned and that my brother would be with me.

It wasn’t quite how I’d imagined their first meeting going, but life was life, and this was the situation we’d all found ourselves in.

The real issue with the turn of events was that none of my brothers knew I was into BDSM, and I was minutes away from walking my distraught baby brother into a house with a man who was very likely going to call me Sir .

Quickly, before Smith returned, I called Silas, who answered on the first ring…like he’d been holding his phone and waiting for my call.

“Hello?”

“Silas.”

I could hear the smile in his voice when he asked, “How’s dinner? Is everything all right?”

“Dinner is…” I bit back the lie. Dinner was not okay, but I realized with the mistruth just how much about my life Silas didn’t know.

It wasn’t anything I’d kept from him. Things were simply so new we hadn’t had the time to have some of these discussions.

He knew I had brothers, but there was so much more to our story.

Just like there was so much more to mine that Hunter, Finn, and Smith weren’t privy to.

“Sir?”

Groaning, I kept my stare trained on the door to the restaurant. “My youngest brother is coming home with me. He’s your age. I actually think you know him from school.”

I wanted to dig myself a hole in the asphalt and never come back up for air.

“Who?”

“His name is Smith. Smith Covington.”

Silas laughed on the other end of the line. “I can’t believe I never put two and two together.”

“Did you know him well? ”

“No,” Silas answered.

I scratched the side of my nose, not ready to make the ask I needed. “My brother. He doesn’t know how I am. The way I am with you.”

“He doesn’t know you’re a Dom.”

“Among other things,” I said.

Silas paused. “Is this your way of asking me to not out you when he’s here?”

“Yes,” I said. The door to the restaurant opened and the recognizable silhouette of Smith’s narrow shoulders filled the frame. “I’m sorry to ask you to compromise this part of yourself right now?—”

He cut me off, an indiscretion I’d punish him for later.

“Not calling you Sir doesn’t compromise anything,” he said thoughtfully. In the background, Lincoln made wet, kissy noises. “My submission doesn’t change whether I call you Marshall or Sir.”

Lincoln made a dry heaving sound.

“I do love the way you sound when you say my name, sweetheart,” I said. Smith was close, back in earshot, running a nervous hand through his hair. “Smith is ready to go now. We’ll be home soon.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Silas said softly, before adding, “Marshall.”