Page 36 of Love by Design (Club Rapture: Risk Aware #1)

MARSHALL

M y jaw ached from trying to get Silas’s cock in my mouth, but the look of unfiltered pleasure as he came on my tongue was worth it ten times over.

I chased the pain with a drink of wine and an eyeful of the man I’d just admitted I was in love with, and he hadn’t said it back, but the way he looked at me from the other side of the dinner table was answer enough.

“What’s good here?” he asked, looking at the menu without really reading it. His stare zoned in on the center of the page and never moved.

“I’ll order for you,” I assured him, reaching out and plucking the menu from his fingers. His cheeks darkened, and he folded his hands neatly into his lap.

“Thank you, Sir,” he said quietly. “May I ask a question?”

“I always want you to speak freely.”

He reached onto the table, pressing two fingers against the base of his wine glass and sliding it halfway toward him without picking it up.

“You said you had plans for me later, so why are we drinking?”

I chuckled, not sure if I was more amused with the question itself or the barely restrained disappointment that laced around Silas’s words as he asked it.

“We’ve spent more time together than before, and I have a better understanding of how alcohol affects you,” I explained. “No drinking, to a few sips, to a full glass. Some people disagree, but I find you still have your wits about you after six ounces of Merlot.”

My answer acted as some kind of permission for him, and he raised the glass to take a drink, chasing a stray drop from his lips with the tip of his tongue. My eyes went straight to the movement, and he must have seen it because he smiled at me.

“I was worried it was some kind of test,” he said. “Like if I drank it, you’d deny me later.”

I raised a brow. “I might deny you still, but not on account of enjoying a celebratory glass of wine that I ordered for you.”

Silas nodded and returned his glass to the table.

There was still something almost off about him that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I worried it had to do with me sucking his cock, with me getting on my knees to put on his shoes and kiss his feet.

Just like there were people who thought the only way to play was to play sober, there were also dominants who would have considered it out of character or unreasonable for me to do either of those things.

Obviously, I wasn’t one of those men, but I now wondered if Silas would see it that way.

If by indulging my own wants, I’d changed his perception of me.

“Now I have a question for you,” I said.

He smiled shyly at me, scratching the side of his cheek before leaning back in his chair like he was finally getting comfortable. “Well, you most certainly don’t need permission to ask me.”

“Neither do you,” I said, waiting for him to acknowledge the truth of it before I went on. “How did you feel about everything we did at home? ”

Silas’s eyes flashed wide, and he was no longer relaxed, leaning over the table with a hushed voice.

“Everything?” he repeated. “Should we talk about this here?”

I glanced around the restaurant, finding it busy but not overly so. There were tables in proximity, but no one was on top of us. If they wanted to eavesdrop, they would have to make an entire thing of it, which I sincerely doubted anyone would bother with.

“Yes.”

“Well.” His cheeks were darker than before, almost crimson. “I liked it a lot.”

“Was it uncomfortable for you? To have me on my knees like that? For me to be between your legs that way?”

Silas’s eyes darted around the restaurant. “It wasn’t uncomfortable.”

“You don’t think me less capable of being dominant for it?”

He chewed the inside of his cheek, letting out a breath that sounded almost like a laugh. I hadn’t realized how nervous the conversation made me until I tried to smile back and swallow, but my saliva caught in my throat. I cleared it, hoping to look somewhat dignified.

“I think it takes a real dominant to get on his knees, Marshall,” he said softly, dipping his chin toward his chest and looking up at me before adding, “Sir.”

“Good.”

I looked away from Silas in search of a server to take our order, but what caught my eye on the other end of the restaurant was something else entirely.

My brother Finn at a table, an empty chair beside him and a very well-dressed couple across from him.

They looked very friendly, talking with animated expressions and raised glasses.

I was about to excuse myself from Silas to go say hello when the man stood up from the table, leaving Finn and the woman alone .

My brother watched him walk away, then leaned in close and slanted his mouth against the woman’s in a kiss that was almost too indecent for the public.

She reached up to touch his face, a very obvious wedding set sparkling on her finger.

Finn pulled away from her and sank back into his seat seconds before the man returned, and they went back to a group conversation like nothing had happened.

“Are you okay?” Silas asked, looking over his shoulder, trying to see what had caught my attention. He’d never met Finn before, only Smith, and there wasn’t enough resemblance between us for anyone who didn’t know we were related to pick us out of a crowd as siblings.

“Yes,” I said, giving one last look to Finn before refocusing my attention on Silas.

I didn’t want to tell him I’d seen my brother because then I’d have to explain why I didn’t want to interrupt his meal to introduce them.

That thought process brought up an entirely different chain of ideas, ending with the fact that, sooner or later, I was going to have to introduce Silas to the rest of them.

Friday night dinner felt like the best option, but those dates also felt off-limits until we sorted out the situation with Andrew.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Was just thinking about how I’d like you to meet the rest of my brothers soon.”

It wasn’t a lie. I’d explain the rest later.

“Oh. Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Silas shrugged. “I just want them to like me.”

“They’ll love you,” I promised, not caring if they did or not. It wouldn’t have any bearing on me. “As soon as we sort out the mess with the new one, I’ll invite you along one Friday.”

Silas scrunched his nose and shook his head. “Friday is your time with them. I don’t want to interrupt that. ”

“It’s not an interruption?—”

He grimaced. “It’s also my time with Lincoln.”

I opened my mouth and closed it again, nodding my understanding. “You’re right,” I said. “That was very selfish of me.”

“Not at all,” he whispered, and then the waiter was there to take our orders. Silas smiled—content—as I ordered for us both, and I watched him nurse his wine through the entire meal and the whole of dessert.

After we’d eaten and long after Finn and his mystery couple had left, Silas let out a long breath and folded his hands together on his stomach.

“That was quite a celebration, but I hope you don’t have anything penetrative planned for me later.”

I laughed, unable to keep the noise contained in my mouth. “I’m an adaptable man, if you haven’t figured that out yet.”

“Should I be worried?”

I dropped my napkin onto the table and stood, brushing some stray crumbs off my lap before walking around the table and extending my hand. Silas smiled up at me and let me help him to his feet. With our fingers twined together, I pulled our bodies close, like we were on the verge of a dance.

“Have I ever given you cause for concern?”

“No,” he rasped.

“I’m not going to start now.”

“I know, Sir.”

“Good.” I kissed him quickly on the mouth, then held his hand on the way out to the parking lot.

Public affection was a new thing for me, and I doubted it was new for Silas at all. He and Lincoln were so tactile with each other, I didn’t even want to wager a guess at how many people had mistaken them for lovers or partners at some point and not just friends.

When we reached the car, I opened the passenger door again and waited while Silas arranged himself in the seat and buckled in. As I was closing the door, he asked, “Would you tell me again?”

“Tell you what?”

“That you love me.”

My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and I closed the car door. I walked around the front of the car, climbed into the driver’s side, and leaned over the console, taking his face into my hands and holding him right where I wanted him.

“I love you,” I said for what must have been at least the fourth time that night. It didn’t feel any less scary in my mouth, but Silas’s reaction softened every time which meant I would shout it from the rooftops until we were both comfortable with the truth of my feelings.

I closed the small space between us and slanted our mouths together, kissing him hard and insistent. Silas moaned against me, going pliant as putty in the passenger seat. The sounds he made were enough to have me second-guessing my plan about nothing penetrative.

With great reluctance, I ended the kiss, but only so I could drive us home.

As soon as we were back in the house, I was on him.

My hands, my mouth, the press of my chest and my thighs against his.

I backed Silas into the wall and buried my face into the crook of his neck like a famished man, licking sustenance from the curve of his throat.

He moaned, whispered a flurry of endearments that had my hands making quick work of our belts and flies. I pulled both of our cocks free and then shoved my fingers into his mouth, depressing his tongue.

“Suck them the way you like your cock sucked,” I demanded, and he did, welling saliva up into his mouth and gagging around my fingertips.

When his spit ran down my wrist, I pulled my hand free and reached down low.

Taking his cock in hand, and then mine, I used the leverage of his back against the wall to make a tight channel for our shafts.