Page 77 of Love and History

“No!” He sighed in exasperation. “I told Mallory to ask you herself. And I told you about that.”

“Was that before or after you gave her your jersey?”

I half expected Ezra to snark that I sounded like a lawyer, grilling him for a crime he hadn’t committed. And maybe he hadn’t done anything underhanded, but it felt wrong to me…like I was caught a web.

It took me a moment to realize this was a taste of reality. The boss who pulled strings, donated money to win a coveted seat on a board, and rewarded loyal employees.

This was Ezra’s real world. I didn’t belong here.

“Holden, I didn’t plan any of that. He asked, I said no. When Mallory followed me, I told her to talk to you. I haven’t been to the office in a month. I didn’t know about the donation or his seat on the board. I didn’t even know about the roses.” He licked his lips and threw his hands up in frustration. “Does it matter anyway? I mean…everyone got what they wanted. She’s transferring, her daddy got the board seat he wanted, and HRS got a windfall. Win, win, win.”

“And you’ve secured your position at the firm,” I commented dully. “Congratulations.”

He had the grace to look abashed. “That wasn’t my intention. You know that.”

I did. I knew it.

Ezra wouldn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t use me for personal gain. He wouldn’t put me in an uncomfortable situation or make me a pawn in a game I didn’t know the rules to. Not on purpose, anyway.

But there were no rules here. He’d done me a favor, but he didn’t owe me anything. He had a job, a new place to live, and a life waiting for him. Geez, he might even start dating the boss’s daughter. And that would be okay…because he wasn’t mine.

He never had been.

“I know,” I whispered.

Ezra moved into my space and lifted my chin. “Hey, none of that is important. You should be happy too. This weekend is a huge success.”

He was right. I should be happy. Everyone got what they wanted, including me.

But I wasn’t happy at all. I was angry and sad and hurt, and I wasn’t sure I had a right to any of those emotions. This felt dangerously like a warped version of ancient history repeating itself.

“Yes, well…thank you for everything. I appreciate what you’ve done.” I blinked back tears and pointed at the exit. “I should get out there and…do my thing.”

Ezra grabbed my arm and pulled me to his chest. “Hey, don’t do that. Nothing’s wrong. Everything is cool. We’re fine. We’re gonna be fine.”

I clandestinely swiped at my cheeks as I pushed away. “I think we both know that’s not true.”

I grabbed my backpack and speed-walked through the park with my head down, determined to make a quick escape. I had no intention of “going back out there.” I wanted to go home and lick my wounds in private. I was no actor. I couldn’t pretend I was okay when I was as far from okay as I’d been in almost a decade.

The bustling crowd provided the cover I needed to reach the parking lot. I pulled my keys out, stopping in my tracks at the tangle of vehicles blocking my Honda. My early-morning prime spot was the worst spot in the middle of the afternoon. I couldn’t get into my car, let alone move it.

I stared helplessly at my trapped vehicle and sucked in a shaky breath, then another. And another. My hands trembled and my pulse went into overdrive.

Oh, no. Not now. Not now.

Sweat dripped from my brow to my cheeks. Or maybe those were tears. I couldn’t tell. I covered my nose and mouth and tried to get my breathing under control, but I was losing the battle quickly.

Relax, it’s okay. Relax, it’s—

I started when a firm hand squeezed my shoulder.

“This way, Holden. I’ll give you a ride.” Tommy smiled kindly and pointed toward the street.

I followed him, unthinking. He didn’t ask why I was leaving or why I was freaking out. That was probably weird, but I was too relieved to care that he might suspect something was wrong. ’Cause everything was wrong, and I didn’t know how to explain it.

Tommy didn’t say a word. We drove across town in silence until he pulled into our driveway.

“Thank you,” I choked out.