Page 22 of Love and Forgiveness (Rough & Ready Country #6)

She looks shocked, and her eyes fill with tears.

“I’m sorry, Wolfe. And you’re right. Under any other circumstances, I would’ve never doubted you.

But I was lonely, sleep deprived, dealing with two small children—for all intents and purposes, a single mom.

I’d given up my career, and my life felt miserable with you overseas all the time.

I needed you so badly, and you were gone more than you were home.

Sometimes, I wondered if you wanted to be home with me at all.

And there were already so many secrets between us because of your job.

You lived a double life, doing things and going places I’ll never know about.

Honestly, I still don’t know what you’re fully capable of when it comes to your job—”

That’s something she never needs to know. But it sure as hell would never involve another woman.

“Seeing those pictures… It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

You know how jealous I get. I lose my mind and can’t think straight, and that’s exactly what I did.

I didn’t want to see you. I didn’t want to talk to you.

I didn’t want shit to do with you because to me, you shutting down was as good as a confession.

I know the distance didn’t help things. Because if I could’ve just looked you in the face, had the conversation in person, things would’ve been different.

The question is, can you forgive me for doubting you? ”

I look down at my hands for a long moment.

I have to admit, this is still the toughest part for me to think about.

I’m a man of my word. Period. I need my woman to know that and trust me implicitly.

I need to be able to give her that same trust. Looking up, I point at the bullet scar, “Like I’ve told you before.

This means I’ve got your six. Forever, Hops.

Ride or die. I would never let OPP fuck that up. ”

Tears spill down her cheeks now, and I long to comfort her.

But that’s a tough subject for me. Really tough, and I need a moment to pull myself back together.

After a long silence, she observes, “I didn’t ask my question.

” She was always much better at keeping track of this game than me.

Searching my face, she asks, “Would you have made the same sacrifices for me? Given up your career and settled down if I had asked?”

I don’t even hesitate. “Yes, and I have made them for you now and will continue to do so. That’s what I found so frustrating after I got back home.

I changed my life completely, and it’s like you didn’t even notice.

And as for talking face to face, you wouldn’t give me the time of day.

For the past three months, you’ve refused to speak to me without a lawyer, mediator, judge, therapist, or the kids present.

It’s like you wouldn’t even let me try to fix things. ”

Her eyes narrow, and I know what’s on her mind.

I continue, “I know you’re not thrilled about my mention of side jobs. But if that’s really all that’s standing between us being happy together, I’ll stop. I’m serious. Yes, it’ll be hard to pass up good money, but you and our kids mean more to me than anything else in this world.”

“Wolfe, I don’t want to change who you are. But I’m tired of sharing you with the entire world. I need you here with me, helping me raise our children. If you can promise to never be gone for more than a week or two at a time, I can accept that.”

“That’s an easy promise to make. I’m tired of missing out on you and the kids because now I realize I can never get that time back. I already have a hard rule. A side job can never keep me out more than three to five days. So, done. What else?”

Tears fill her eyes. In a voice so quiet I have to lean in to hear her, she questions, “Can you ever forgive me serving you divorce papers overseas?”

“I already have,” I say quietly, and now her cheeks are shiny with emotion. I finally allow myself to close the distance between us, palming her cheeks and wiping away the tears. She takes one of my hands, kissing my fingertips softly and reminds, “It’s your turn.”

“Will you promise me you’ll never give up on us again? I’m being serious when I say those divorce papers nearly killed me. Rutger can tell you. I was a fucking shell of myself thinking you wanted to end the only forever I’ve ever believed in.”

The words hit Izzie hard. She crawls into my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, and saying, “You’ve never said that before.”

“What?”

“That our marriage is the only forever you believe in.”

I smile, kissing her forehead and staring deeply into her beautiful periwinkle eyes.

“It is, and I should have told you that every single day. But I won’t make that mistake twice.

Fuck, I’m going to get it tattooed right here,” I say, pointing to the spot over my heart and just below the bullet mark.

Her hand covers where I pointed, and she traces the scar with her forefinger.

I feel warm waves of love radiating through me as I lean down, capturing her lips.

After a few minutes of breathy making out, I say, “I have plenty to apologize for, too. I’m sorry for using the word divorce.

I never should have said it, and I swear I never will again.

No matter what. I never realized how hard it was to be a single parent until the last three months.

And I can’t tell you how much regret I feel over the time I lost with you and our babies.

I don’t know how you honestly did it all without me around.

Although I know your career suffered greatly for it.

I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me for that? ”

She wraps her arms tightly around me, burying her head in my shoulder and sobbing.

I comfort her with soft words, gently stroking her hair.

I don’t know how long we sit like this, but we need this more than we’ve ever needed anything.

As if we’re mending back together. “I forgive you for everything,” she whispers, stroking my stubbled cheek with her hand and pressing feather-light kisses on my face and lips.

Her eyes are so filled with love for me, I feel reborn under her gaze. Now, I have the answer to my question. “I forgive you, too, baby girl. For everything.”