Page 15 of Love and Forgiveness (Rough & Ready Country #6)

Chapter Nine

WOLFE

Isit in Flynn’s office, his last meeting of the day.

The angular planes of his ebony skin reflect the light from his desk lamp, making him look even more formidable.

His eyes are narrowed as he pours over the documents, checking signatures and making sure everything’s on the up and up.

Finally, he pushes his chair back and sits there for a long moment, looking down at the paperwork.

His jaw feathers beneath his perfectly trimmed and faded beard, and his black eyes dart to my face, the question in them reflected in his furrowed brow.

“Everything’s in order, bro. I guess I should give you my congratulations on being a free agent. But are you sure about this? I hate to ask. It’s just such a pity how things ended between you two.”

My hand wants to go to my chest and rub the place over my heart. But instead, I keep one atop each knee, fisted. “What’s done is done, bro. I can’t keep living in the past.”

“It’s a damn shame,” Flynn says scrunching his face. “If any couple was going to make it, I always thought it’d be you two.”

I shake my head before leveling my gaze at him. “I thought you were a better judge of character than that.”

“That’s the thing,” he replies matter-of-factly and without ego, “I’m an excellent judge of character. Sorry to beat a dead horse, but you two seemed perfect for each other.”

I shrug. “There’s a big difference between ‘seems’ and ‘are.’ Besides, I see it for what it is now. She was always way smarter than me and way more educated. She needs a guy that’ll float her academic boat. That will never be me.”

“You underrate yourself, bro.”

Flynn’s one of the kindest and most generous men I know.

I don’t understand how he does the lawyering in the family, to be honest. He’s way too nice for all that courtroom bullshit.

So, I know he’s about to say something to make me feel good about myself.

But I don’t need it. I’m tired of living in a fantasy world.

I need to accept life for what it is. “I have a high school diploma, and she’s got a Master’s Degree in Art Conservation and is still taking classes.

Hell, she’s a PhD candidate in Anthropology at Sac State now. We were never a good fit.”

“Says one of the elite of the elites, a former member of the 75th Ranger Regiment, no less.”

“Army grunt,” I counter with a scowl. I stand, reaching over the desk to shake my brother’s hand.

But he won’t have any of it. Instead, he walks around the desk to hug me.

I go through the motions, saying, “It’s all good, bro.

I need to let it go. I should’ve done this for her sooner.

She’s made it clear what she wants, and it was selfish of me to put it off for so long. ”

He shakes his head, looking down. Flynn understands more about the estrangement than anyone else in the family, and not just because he helped with the divorce papers.

I often bunked at his house during my last leave before the UAE because things were already falling apart.

Honestly, this divorce has been at least a year in the making.

During that leave, I also confided in Travis on a fishing trip, although I kept specifics spare.

Besides, Trav spent most of his time talking about Faith.

I’m not looking forward to breaking the news to my family, although I know suspicions are up with how long it’s been since Izzie came around the ranch.

Flynn counters, “Is that what you really believe? That this is what she wants? Is there another man?”

The question makes my blood boil. Not only am I a possessive motherfucker, but I can’t answer him with certainty.

“I don’t know. Honestly, though, I can’t blame all of this on her.

Things happened between us that I don’t know if I can forgive, even if Izzie wanted to come back to me.

Having my wife question my loyalty, serve me divorce papers…

Those were tough pills to swallow. Maybe impossible. ”

“Is there ever anything that’s truly unforgivable when it comes to love?

” Flynn’s ebony eyes search my face as if he needs the answer as much as I do.

It makes me wonder what’s going on in his private life, although he’ll never tell me.

I’d have to waterboard it out of him. Even then, I doubt my brother would talk.

Of course, his discretion is exactly why I turned to him when my marriage started falling apart.

I roll Flynn’s question around in my head.

Is there ever anything that’s truly unforgivable when it comes to love?

I don’t know. While I may never forgive Izzie, I’ll also never stop loving her.

And I know firsthand from my wife and kids that nothing’s more powerful in this entire world than love.

Of course, understanding this makes the divorce excruciating.

I shake my head, giving up. “Let me know when you figure out that answer, bro.”

Flynn looks disappointed. “I’m sorry, man, this has me so damn depressed. I mean, you took a fucking bullet for her. ”

I shrug. “It was all a part of the job. Me and my shitty love life aside, you do seem depressed. Anything else bothering you?” I doubt he’ll answer in any great depth, but it’s still worth a try.

“Just trying to put together this appeal for Holden.” He presses his fingers into his temple.

“Delilah has big hopes for it. But I don’t know if anything’ll change, considering he pled guilty to the original manslaughter charges.

I’m not as sure-footed in criminal law, so I start second-guessing myself.

I don’t want to do wrong by our brother. ”

“Seriously? Delilah’s still sticking by him? I guess I misjudged her. She seems so hippie dippy when we’re at The Human Being, you know.”

Flynn rubs the back of his neck, stretching.

It’s obvious he’s been sitting for too long.

“Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on between those two.

Not sure what can be, under the circumstances.

And to top it off, I’m having paralegal drama.

Hey, if you hear of any good ones looking for work, send them my way. I may be hiring.”

“Is Jasmine leaving or something?”

He looks away. I’ve long thought there was something going on between the two of them. But Flynn is probably the most private of all of us foster brothers. That’s saying a lot with guys like me, Zane, and Maksim running around.

His shoulders drop. “It’s a long story that I really don’t feel like getting into right now. Anyway, take care of yourself, bro. I’ll file the paperwork first thing Monday morning. Hopefully, these documents will provide the closure you need to finally find happiness.” He pats my shoulder.

No fucking way. “Thanks, Flynn. I love you, bro.”

“Love you, too, you fucking tank. By the way, we need to go fishing again real soon. Might as well take advantage of this unusually warm December weather before the snow finally kicks in. I’m thinking we’ll take the horses up to Fugitive Lake, make a day of it. You in?”

“Yep, I’ll text you the weekends I don’t have the kids, and we’ll make a plan.”

“Sounds good.”

Outside, I put my brown cowboy hat on and head for my truck. Turning the key in the ignition, I’m greeted by the blaring angst of “Hemorrhage” by Fuel. I can’t think of a more fitting song as I grip the steering wheel, staring into the forest and knowing with my entire being that it’s over.

There’s nothing I can do to save it, to save us. There hasn’t been for a long time. I just refused to admit it.

As I drive away from Flynn’s office, countless memories wash over me. I have to let them go. Forget about everything I thought my life was for the past nine years and what I thought it could be moving forward. What did I expect anyway?

I had an angel dropped into my lap. I don’t know why. I should’ve known I couldn’t keep her. She was too good for me, too smart and refined. I should’ve known better.

But I was stubborn and stupid—the worst combination. And everything I did to hold onto her more tightly, from the arguments to my lucrative overseas work to pursuing her now, has only pushed us further apart.

Izzie’s many months ahead of me in this realization. That means months of me living in a fantasy world ruled by the hope of something that was never on the table. What a fool I’ve been.