Page 21 of Love and Forgiveness (Rough & Ready Country #6)

Chapter Fourteen

WOLFE

After lining out the guys and making sure everything is going to plan, the waiting game begins. Fortunately, my part of that waiting game involves keeping Izzie safe at her home. I don’t want her anywhere near that museum when shit hits the fan.

We walk into her house, and I turn on the light in the entryway. I notice the neat little rows of Buddha and bodhisattva replicas on a decorative table. Some I recognize from the originals her and the crew worked on in Afghanistan.

The entryway leads into an open-air floor plan with an immaculate kitchen and airy living room, richly decorated in shades of blue, burgundy, and emerald green, evocative of a South Asian bazaar.

Izzie wraps her arms around me from behind, and it’s the best fucking feeling ever.

But I can’t give into what I’ve wanted for so long until I’m sure she’s as committed as I am.

I pull her by her arms around to the front of me, savoring the ability to freely kiss my wife after all of this time.

Ironically, it’s come on the edge of finalizing our divorce.

But I’m hoping after tonight, we’ll have many of the problems from our past resolved.

“Go take a shower,” I order. “Then, we’ll reconvene here. ”

“Do you want to join me?” she asks seductively.

The thought of her slippery, soapy body is almost too much to bear. But I need to do this right. So, I say, “Absolutely, one hundred percent. But not this time, baby. I need to take care of a few things. Go get relaxed, just don’t keep me waiting too long. ”

She looks equal parts puzzled and turned-on as she pads off to the master bathroom. As soon as she’s out of sight, I go to work checking her home security, making sure every window and door is locked and all of the shades are drawn.

She needs security cameras and motion lights. I’ve tried to tell her this before. But she can be so stubborn when she digs in her heels. She also needs a guard dog, although I’m ready to be that and much more for her this weekend.

This is going to be a long weekend without much sleep, and that’s not just me being hopeful.

I don’t want to take any chances with her safety.

Especially with what’s going down. Dick’s a snake, and he knows some very dangerous people.

He also likely knows where Izzie lives, and I wouldn’t put anything past him.

I take a quick shower in the kids’ bathroom, working hard not to trip over bath toys and the residue from God-only-knows how many bubblegum-scented bubble baths. I put my boxers and khakis back on, walking barefoot around the house, gathering everything else I need.

By the time Izzie reappears, wearing a long, silky black robe and her golden locks wrapped in a towel, I’ve got the coffee table set up with freshly poured wine glasses, an open bottle of Merlot I snagged from her collection, and candles.

I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor as if I’m about to start feasting at a dastarkhaan.

Izzie’s face beams as she grabs a couple overstuffed pillows from the couch and folded blankets, throwing me a pillow and blanket.

Then, she sits with her legs to one side reclining against the blanket and pillow she grabbed for herself.

She lifts her glass of wine, asking, “What’s the name of the game, Private Ormsby? ”

I laugh, feeling nostalgic. When Izzie and I met, we sometimes had lots of free time to kill together.

Inevitably, it led to games and some pretty risqué behavior.

“I never could understand why a little slip of a thing like you would play drinking games with a six foot six inch, two hundred thirty pound soldier like me. But I guess some things never change. Truth or Dare.”

“First, I’m not a little slip of anything. Second, I did it so you’d finally start talking to me. You were painfully shy when we met. Even if you don’t remember.”

“What I remember was how impressively smart you were and my grave fear of putting my foot in my mouth. Besides, my mission was to protect you at all costs, not converse with you.”

She nods, her eyes straying to the scar on my chest. “Thankfully, I remember how quickly Truth or Dare got you past some of that shyness,” she finishes, her cheeks warming.

The whole hickey thing started with her, when she dared me to give her a kiss she wouldn’t forget. By far, one of her most innocent dares. As for the others, I simmer just thinking about them. “Some of your dares… Fuck, Izzie. I’ll never forget what you made me do to you.”

“I won’t, either,” she replies, winking and sipping her wine. “Are you blushing, Private Ormsby?”

I laugh sheepishly, swallowing hard as memories wash over me. This is not the first time she’s asked me that. “I wouldn’t call it blushing, but heating up, yes.”

“Heating up is good. Those dares were the only way to get you to admit, and act out, what we both felt. So, who goes first?”

I put my right fist over my palm, and she does the same. My rock beats her scissors, so I go first. “Did you mean it when you said you didn’t want things to change between us—that you still wanted to be married to me?”

“Wow, you’re diving right in.” She looks at me for a long moment, and instead of seeing anger or frustration swirling in her eyes, I find love.

It’s been a long time. It makes my breath catch in my throat.

Her eyes pool as she says, “Yes, I still want to be married to you, Wolfe. I never wanted to get divorced in the first place. But I felt so lonely for so long, and remember, you were the one who brought up divorce first. Why did you start talking about it to begin with?”

“Because I could feel you pulling away from me every time I talked to you. You weren’t picking up your phone or returning my calls, and letters had all but ceased.

When we did talk on the phone or over Zoom, you ended calls quickly.

I could feel you slipping through my fingers, and I didn’t know what to do.

There was so much arguing when I got a hold of you, and you seemed so unhappy.

I thought mentioning divorce would be a wakeup call for both of us—not the end.

But you jumped at the suggestion, and I went along with it because I’ve never wanted you to be unhappy.

I convinced myself you were better off without me. ”

She swallows hard. “For the record, I could never be better off without you, and I didn’t jump at the suggestion.

But I did try to save face. Preserve my pride.

I can see that now, and I admit it was stupid of me.

I should’ve tried harder to salvage things between us, but I didn’t know what to do, either.

” Her eyes are filled with tears, and I move closer to her, ready to end the game.

Instead, she steels her face, saying, “It’s your turn. ”

“It was just pride and saving face that kept you from telling me this? If you’d said even half those words to me, you realize it would’ve changed everything, right?”

“I was too hurt to see it then. You broke my heart. I was holding on by a thread without you around. Trying to raise our two children by myself. Fighting over the phone all the time did nothing for our relationship. Honestly, it was easier not taking your calls after a while. Even though I refused to admit what a risky game I was playing. I figured if we could just get through your contract and get you back home, things would be better. Once we could talk face to face.”

She looks down, taking a deep breath. I fight the urge to pull her into my arms and comfort her.

I need to hear what she has to say, no matter what it entails for our future.

“Then, you blindsided me with that word—divorce—and I couldn’t stand it.

I warned you never to say that word to me, but you did anyway.

And I couldn’t take it, Wolfe. I wasn’t about to beg or try to fix something you thought was irreparable. Instead, I panicked.”

The room is silent for a long moment as she stares at her hands.

Finally, she says, “On top of it, I saw those pictures of Rutger and you with the Polish blondes, and I was so done. It made me feel like all of the sacrifices I’d made for our family, including my career, meant nothing to you.

It also made me feel like you weren’t willing to make those same sacrifices for me. ”

White hot rage hits me in a wave. The fucking Polish twins again?

How could she ever think I would do something like that to her?

It’s like she doesn’t even know me—a hard pill to swallow since she’s my wife.

I’ve got to keep my cool because I’m seeing red.

Through gritted teeth, I say, “I never cheated on you. Not once. I wasn’t even tempted. I didn’t even kiss another woman.”

“Why didn’t you say that to me at the time? I mean, Rutger did a better job of defending you in my office today than you’ve ever done for yourself. When I asked about it, you shut down, absolutely furious. You wouldn’t even talk. What was I to think?”

Izzie’s right. Another searing flash of anger hits me, and I look down, ready to shut down all over again.

I admit it’s one of my most self-destructive habits.

One that goes way back to my shitty childhood.

But I can’t keep falling back into old patterns as Izzie has pointed out multiple times this past week.

Taking a deep breath, I put it all on the line.

“You broke my fucking heart, Izzie. I mean, you of all people are supposed to know me better than anybody. You stood at the altar with me and vowed to spend the rest of your life with me … only me. And I did the same with you … before God. How the hell could you ever think I would cheat on you? I thought you knew me better than that.”