Page 37 of London Holiday (Sweet Escapes Collection #2)

Chapter thirty-seven

E lizabeth tried fanning her face and looking in the other direction, but it was no good. He was Mr Bingley’s wealthy friend, and he had seen her! There was no escape. He was casually walking toward her now, Mr Bingley at his side, and pausing here and there as if he might have been only taking in the room from its various aspects… but that gait, that set to his jaw, were too familiar. He was bound for her and only wished to appear to others as if he had no aim.

A rebellious thought seized her, to take herself to the ladies’ retiring room and wait out the whole of the evening there, but she dismissed it quickly. That was cowardice, and though Elizabeth Bennet might take issue with boats and air balloons, she was no coward. At any rate, Mama would be certain to find her out. Her mother was in another corner now, speaking energetically to Lady Lucas, and thus had no notion as yet that the long-desired acquaintance of Mr Bingley was at the point of being made. Well, let the formidable introduction take place without her notice for the first few moments. It would be easier.

“Jane,” she whispered, grasping her sister’s hand, “stay close to me.”

“I have no choice at present,” Jane whispered back. “I think no one will ask us to stand up at all this evening, Lizzy. Oh, how mortifying this is! If it were not deceit, I should feign illness and ask to return home.”

Elizabeth said nothing, only watched him… them… approach. They had collected Sir William Lucas, and now their object was perf ectly clear. The elder gentleman smiled his pleasure at being useful, then, glancing at them, looked doubtful when Darcy made some request. Good Sir William tried, it appeared, to dissuade Netherfield’s new tenant and his wealthy friend from any embarrassment, but their resolve appeared to be fixed, and in a moment, the three gentlemen walked directly toward them. Jane stiffened beside her.

“Miss Jane Bennet, and Miss Eliza Bennet,” Sir William bowed, “may I have the pleasure of introducing Mr Charles Bingley, our new neighbour at Netherfield, and his very good friend, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy of Derbyshire.”

Jane lowered her lashes modestly as both gentlemen bowed first to her, as the eldest, and then to Elizabeth. Sir William turned back to the gentlemen with an air of confidence, as if he were imparting some secret in his full speaking voice. “The elder Miss Bennets of Longbourn are considered quite the beauties, and I think you must agree they are fine looking young ladies, eh, Mr Darcy? And such dancers they both are! Why, a more graceful young lady was never born than Miss Bennet, and Miss Eliza’s enthusiasm is always a delight.”

Elizabeth was looking steadily at Sir William, but Darcy was not. She felt the heat of his gaze on her and knew very well that every symptom of discomfort rose from her décolletage up to her cheeks.

“A delight, indeed,” she heard Darcy reply, and from the corner of her eye, she could see that dry teasing warmth tugging at his mouth. “Your recommendation has not fallen ill, Sir William, for I find I am curiously tempted to dance, and certainly hope the ladies do not object.” But he did not offer for her… not yet. That honour should go first to Jane, but he would not even look at her sister.

“Miss Bennet,” Mr Bingley bowed, his manner ebullient and his face awash with every expectation of pleasure, “Would you do me the very great honour of granting me the next set? ”

Jane accepted at once, and as the music from the previous dance was just ending, they were away before Darcy could make his obligatory request. Elizabeth had no alternative but to look at him now.

“Miss Elizabeth,” he bowed and offered his hand, just as he had done to help her into the carriage… and the balloon... and the waltz. “May I have the pleasure?”

There was no possible way to refuse, even if her treacherous heart had not desired it. She rose and gave him her hand, and he smiled down at her as he led her away.

Once Sir William could no longer have heard, she murmured, “I believe I must thank you for the condescension, sir, in introducing your friend to my sister. I fear there are… more ladies than gentlemen present this evening, and the sweetest girl in the room has been passed over. You may suppose, after what you must have heard, that you have done the most deserving person in the world a very great service. However, it is not necessary for you to follow form and dance with me. I assure you, sir, you must not exert yourself out of any perceived sense of obligation.”

He looked down in surprise. “You mistake me, Miss Elizabeth. While I was pleased to introduce a very good man, one whose happiness is of particular importance to me, to a woman whose character has been made known to me as exemplary, that was not my first object. I wished to speak with you.”

“But what remains to be said between us? You must not deny yourself the pleasure of a more cheerful partner for the half hour.”

“You may not have guessed as much, Miss Elizabeth, but I am not fond of dancing. The most pleasurable instance of the exercise in my memory was last week’s indulgence. That incident stands out as the exception, but I would hope it to become the rule. Thus, I prefer the company of the woman who partnered me for that memorable encounter.”

“I think we would be very likely to quarrel, and would you then engage yourself to suffer through an entire set with such a partner? A few moments at the punch bowl would surely suffice, for is not your new…” she bit her lip. “I am given to understand that newly engaged gentlemen are not expected to dance with every young lady who must be sitting down in want of a partner. Would it not displease your bride?”

A low laugh rumbled beside her. “I have the pleasure of disabusing you of one misapprehension. Allow me to assure you that I am not unhappily betrothed.”

“I thought…” she felt herself faltering as the floor beneath her feet seemed to tilt and the figures before her blurred. “That is… I had heard there remained some obligation….”

“Indeed, I have pledged myself to my aunt and cousin’s support, but not in such a way that I had once feared. Your assumption is natural, of course—when you left me that evening, I grant you that my circumstances looked rather bleak. However, certain developments followed which, I hope, I shall one day have the liberty to disclose in full.”

Elizabeth felt as if a great fist had been closed round her heart, and then suddenly withdrawn, but the heat remained in her face. “That must have pleased you, sir.”

“More than you can imagine.”

The couples were forming now, and they parted to stand opposite one another in the line. She could feel the weight of his gaze, the admiration he scarcely troubled himself to conceal, and she felt conspicuous. Oh, if anyone around her could see that flame kindled in his eye, could understand what he meant by it!

Who was she to attract his notice? One of five disgraced daughters of an impoverished private gentleman? Of what virtues could she boast which might make her worthy of an honourable offer? No, surely, he, stubborn man that he was, meant to renew that conversation from which she had once fled. The humiliation of what he had certainly come to ask of her would be hers for the rest of her days, even if she refused—which she must! Elizabeth glanced nervously down the line, and while one or two had taken note of the fine-looking gentleman, there were no gloved titters as they appraised him, nor knowing smirks as they identified his partner.

Elizabeth dared to raise her eyes to his face. He certainly was fine. If he had been imposing and powerful-looking in livery, he was now resplendent in his own dress attire. His look was grave and steady, his eyes never stirring from her face, but perhaps one who knew him less well, did not know his habitual aspect, would miss that slight twitching of his mouth, or the softening around his eyes. She swallowed, and the music began.

His hands were as warm and strong as she remembered. She tried to look away, her eyes on his shoulders as they passed one another, but this only recalled to her the memory of another dance, when her hands had rested there….

“Miss Elizabeth, is my company distressing to you?” she heard him murmur lowly as they passed one another again.

“Not at all, sir,” she stared directly at his chest, and thought somehow that she rather missed the brass buttons and gold braid of the livery.

“Yet your eyes tell another story. Do you fear that I have come to expose you, Miss Elizabeth? I assure you, nothing could be farther from my intentions. Why this obvious discomfort when I have been previously acquainted with your ways? Think you that I do not well remember your characteristic impertinence?”

She bit her inner lip and parried with a question of her own. “You did not say before that you were on intimate terms with our new neighbour at Netherfield and intended a visit to the area. Surely you might have, for I recall clearly that we spoke of it.”

He bent low as he turned her in the dance. “And you failed to mention that your father is a private gentleman with a respectable estate. You might have made note of that rather pertinent detail, though it matters little to me now. You were rather vague, as I recall. ”

Elizabeth was forced to wait until they had been brought back together by the dance before she could reply. “Sir, you know well enough my family’s circumstances. What is more damning in the eyes of society? That I have an uncle whom I adore who makes his living in trade, or that my own family of gentleman’s daughters are presently shunned for the disgrace of a sister? If you have not been told more, I shall spare you the asking—my youngest sister was unaccountably foolish. Her fondness for spending money and bonnets and favour among the gentlemen led her on to do something abominably stupid, something which has injured us all. She has now been sent away to a boarding school for fallen girls. My middle sister, who is righteous as the day is long, bears the taint of association in the affair, and her prospects are similarly ruined. I do not pretend that my own appeal is such that a man of your station could possibly—”

They parted again, and Elizabeth was prepared to speak once more when they came together, but he pre-empted her. “Miss Elizabeth, I believe I understand you. When last we spoke in the Gardens, and I so inelegantly made you an offer, it was not the sort of offer you must have supposed.”

She turned sharply, as the dance required, and looked him full in the face. “It was not?”

He lifted his hands to take hers and turn her about. “Indeed, I could never disgrace you so. Unfortunately, you had quite overcome my senses, and I was without rational thought and words. I am afraid I expressed myself rather poorly.”

He turned around, and she did as well, then a moment later the scripted steps brought them back together. “I have not the talent of expressing myself easily,” he confessed, taking the liberty granted by the dance and leaning low to her ear. “You may have noticed that I became practised in your company throughout the day, and I hope I became perfectly amiable to you. However, there was a moment there, when a new prospect opened before me, and I understood something I had not done before. I had not the words to express it then, but I have now.”

Elizabeth did not trust her voice and managed only a whisper. “And that is?” How he heard her in the crowded ballroom, she could not know, but he answered.

“You had informed me eloquently enough that your expectations had been somehow damaged. I wished to find some way to materially aid your family’s respectability. It must be something more than mere domestic felicity—a public recognition of sorts, so that you would not feel the sting of the world’s scorn. I would never wish for the woman I love to bear such pain.”

She blinked. “Love?” She heard her voice break, but he could not attend her this time, for he had turned to another partner. A different gentleman faced her and led her to another part of the line. It was two frustrating minutes before they came together once more, and for the whole of it, she was forced to look on as he drew the admiration of others, all while leaving her with the agitation of heart which such a confession must inspire.

When they were brought together again, he clasped her hands and seemed undesirous of letting them go. “Miss Elizabeth, you look a bit breathless. Shall we sit out the remainder of this set? Allow me to find you some refreshment.”

She followed as he withdrew her from the line and could not miss the rabid elation writ across her mother’s face when they passed. Mrs Bennet was winking and clapping her hands together at Elizabeth’s great conquest, for if nothing else, the notice of such a man as Mr Darcy for even a single set could not permit her to sit out another dance the whole evening. Elizabeth looked away.

Mr Darcy procured glasses for them both and invited her to stand with him in a corner which was little occupied. “Pray, Miss Elizabeth, permit me to speak first, for I fear the words shall fail me if I do not express them at once.”

She nodded her acquiescence, her eyes on her glass, and he continued .

“I have been a selfish being all my life. I was given good principles but left to follow them in conceit. The price for this ignorance and disdain for the feelings of others, you well know—I lost the loyalty of even those whose own prospects were dependent upon myself. So thoroughly had I rested in my assumptions that when all came to light, I discovered how dismally I had failed in my duties. I would not have you think me an indolent master, Miss Elizabeth, nor that the Darcy family are habitually negligent.

“Without attempting to flatter myself, I shall relate to you one episode two years ago when I received word that the spring flooding in Derbyshire was threatening many of my tenants’ houses. My sister and I both rode the distance from London on horseback and worked in the fields beside our tenants for many long days until the danger was over. She was but thirteen, but her care and devotion to the task were the same as I inherited from our parents. Such are the expectations for one who would bear the Darcy name.

“I tell you this, Miss Elizabeth, because while I have been rightly accused of pride, occasionally of too much reserve, and quite frequently of ignorance of another’s sentiments, I could not generally be called careless. Indeed, the loss of my household’s loyalty pained me far more than the inconvenience of broken trust and violated privacy. I ought to have done better, and I shall make reparations for my vanity all the rest of my days. If you should choose to hear what I have next to say, I would have you understand my flaws as well as my virtues.”

Elizabeth had stared at her glass all this long while, but she raised her eyes when he ceased. “Sir, before you speak another word, I would beg you to cast your eyes to the far side of the room.”

His brow puckered in curiosity, but he obliged her.

“You cannot fail to see the lady who is pointing at us and speaking loudly to all her acquaintance. I daresay she has already appraised your fortune and enquired after your family, given that you have spent more than two minutes in my company. ”

His eyes narrowed in faint distress. “I am to understand that lady is your mother?”

She winced. “She is not known for her discretion, sir. Nor would she find your consequence sufficiently imposing that her behaviour might be curtailed at the risk of displeasing so august an acquaintance. Now, would you and your friend Mr Bingley not be better suited by dancing with the Miss Lucases, or Miss King?”

He turned back to her. “I am not a man to be easily diverted, nor have I grounds to cast aspersions on the peculiarities of anyone’s relations. My own are vexing enough to keep me humble in that regard.”

“And what of Mr Bingley? Are you quite secure on his account?”

“My friend, Miss Elizabeth, tends to follow the most natural path, and that is to seek amiable young ladies with handsome faces. He is not a rake, nor is he inconstant, but on occasion, he has unwittingly caused himself disappointment. I knew from your account that Miss Bennet must be a rare creature, and I was pleased to introduce my friend to a beautiful young woman of good character. As for myself,” he drew half a step closer, and his voice lowered, “I am bewitched.”

She drew a shaken breath, her lashes fluttering. “It was unconsciously done, sir. You must not assume any debt owed to me—”

“Do you know, Miss Elizabeth, we spoke far more freely when I was attired as a servant. Perhaps it was fitting, for your servant I have become. A wiser man might perhaps reprimand me and think me a fool for rushing in where circumspection would be more prudent, but I cannot help it. My feelings will not be repressed, and I must tell you at once before the dance ends, and another comes to take you from me, how ardently I admire and love you. Perhaps for you, one day was insufficient proof of how perfectly suited we are for one another, or how devotedly I would serve only your happiness, but my own resolve is formed. From this moment, I would surrender my heart into your keeping and beg you, most urgently, to agree to become my wife. ”

Elizabeth coloured, breathless and silent. He took her glass, as her hand was shaking, and set it on the tray of a passing waiter, then seemed to catch his own breath in earnest attendance. His look, so tender and patient, so full of pleading and hope, gave her all the encouragement she could have wished for.

“I… I know not what to say, sir,” she stammered as he leaned a little lower. “I am… I am pleased, but… oh, one who felt less might find it possible to speak more!”

His expression upon hearing her was all that could be expected of a sensible man, violently in love and constrained to make that confession in a public venue. His voice, the tone and pitch of it, carried all the warmth that his body could not express. “Then I shall call you my Elizabeth and note with immense satisfaction that for perhaps the only time in our long lives together, I have the advantage of fluency. Say nothing more, Elizabeth, until I have been introduced to your father, but if you will have me, take my hand, and with it, my life.”

She blinked the flood of joyous tears from her eyes and laughed, a full and abundant exultation such as she had never known. His hand closed round her fingers, and she clasped it as her security, her strong comfort. “Come, William,” she coaxed, “there is still another set to dance.”