Page 14 of London Holiday (Sweet Escapes Collection #2)
Chapter fourteen
“ M y Lady.” Mr Collins scraped humbly before his patroness. “I am most honoured to be of service in whatever way your ladyship should desire. How deeply moved I was to receive your note yesterday while I was visiting in Hertfordshire! My gladdest wish is answered, for the very joy of my heart is to carry out your every request. How may I be of service, my most esteemed and revered Lady?”
Lady Catherine glanced to the door, which was guarded by none other than the butler himself. “I will speak to the parson in privacy,” she informed the man. He looked about, bowed his respects, and closed the door between them.
Collins was still standing and bowing every few seconds as if he had forgotten that he had already done so, with his dumpy hat still in his hands from his travels and that wheedling smile overtaking his pasty features. Lady Catherine could barely restrain a sniff. He was useful, if a cloying, laughable excuse for a parson, and he did not trouble her with spiritual trifles or expensive ethics.
“I want you here,” she glided about the room, her hand lifted expressively, “because I have glad tidings. As you know, my nephew, and consequently Anne’s cousin, is Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, a gentleman of remarkable fortune and good repute. It is his house in which you are presently a guest. My daughter has been betrothed to him since her infancy, and I am pleased to report that the marriage will be solemnised imminently.”
A look of childish pleasure beamed upon the parson’s sweating face. “Oh, My Lady, that is the very gladdest of news! Only to think that I had expected to delight your ladyship with news of my own engagement, but the fair Miss de Bourgh’s happiness is more dear even to my heart than my own. This is indeed a blessed day! Does your ladyship request that I humbly offer my services to the betrothed couple, to lend spiritual counsel in preparation for marriage? Shall I guide their steps as they ready themselves for this all-important station?”
Lady Catherine flicked her hand, demanding that he cease speaking long enough for her to make her desires known. “I intend for you to perform the service. A special license has been obtained and has been delivered into our hands only an hour ago.”
Collins’ eyes grew wider, his ungroomed brows forming one bushy line in the midst of his pale forehead. “Such eminent foresight! Your ladyship has taken every precaution to see that Miss de Bourgh is not troubled by a long ceremony in a draughty church! One can never know if another church has been properly aired or thoroughly warmed. I bow to your wisdom, My Lady.”
“Is anything less due to the daughter and heiress of the de Bourgh family heritage? This marriage shall see the uniting of two of the finest families in the kingdom, unifying the two great estates and securing what has long been promised as her birthright. I would not risk her health in any public setting, no matter how fine the architecture or prestigious the bishop. The ceremony will be performed in this very room.”
“Your ladyship is a fount of wisdom! If only my parishioners could witness your sterling example of humility. What are a gilded ceiling and stained glass when the sacrament of a bride’s duty might be imperilled?”
“Indeed. You shall appreciate that proper forms have already been procured, thanks in great part to Mr Darcy’s thoughtful provisions for his future bride. I had them set out for your examination.”
“Indeed, My Lady, I am certain that everything has been done properly. There shall be no need for my humble eyes to examine them if your ladyship has already deemed them satisfactory. When is the ceremony to take place? I have not my proper clerical robes….”
“This evening, as soon as my nephew has returned from his business.”
“This… this evening? Why, of course! It is outside the canonical hours, but a special license has been procured, and perhaps your ladyship is wise to impress that distinction. The heiress of the de Bourgh legacy need not submit to form!”
“And the Earl of Matlock shall witness. The marriage will be solemnised and consummated at once, so that no objection may be made by jealous Society.”
“But My Lady, would not Miss de Bourgh prefer a proper courtship period? Perhaps a ball hosted in her honour, to announce her impending happiness?”
“No such trivialities shall be necessary. Anne, of course, would be the most celebrated dancer in Town, had she learned, but she has not the appetite for revelry. Neither does she have need for a larger trousseau, and Darcy shall see that she is properly honoured wherever she goes.”
“A thousand apologies, for I have again underestimated your beneficence, My Lady! Miss de Bourgh is the most fortunate young lady, and we who wish her well shall be the most blessed of all witnesses.”
“Naturally. Now, Collins, I presume you have found some lodgings in Town?”
“Indeed, I have, My Lady! You see before you the happiest of all men, for I have been most graciously received into the home of my future relations, and Miss Elizabeth Bennet, who shall be my bride, is also a guest in the same house. I am most eager during my stay to bestow upon her those little attentions which ladies find so agreeable, that our own humble felicity may be assured when the happy day comes. ”
“You may return to your future relations until you are sent for. I have no present need for you, and it would be hardly suitable for you to linger about this house before the bride and groom are prepared to meet. However, when you return to conduct the ceremony, I insist that you bring your betrothed to pay her respects to the bride.”
“Your ladyship is as gracious as you are wise,” he bowed.
“I confess, it did not occur to me that I would not be welcomed in my present attire.” Darcy stood uncomfortably on the pavement, glancing up the street.
“I had wondered at your intentions when you walked into the hotel and ordered a table but thought it better not to ask,” Miss Bennet replied with a poorly disguised grin.
“Nothing is stopping you from taking some refreshment. I will wait here for you, for I would rather not loiter in the back with the… ah… with men I do not know.”
“It was you who first mentioned your hunger, not I. I can well imagine why, if you have not eaten since that bit of biscuit and coffee this morning. I can manage until I return to my aunt’s home. However, we must think of something for you, for it will be almost an hour before we will have returned to Gracechurch in the mid-day traffic. I would not like for you to faint off the back of the coach. Heaven knows the trouble I should have in dragging you off the streets a second time!”
Darcy felt his stomach tighten. Blast the woman, but she simply would tease him, and he could no longer pretend that it annoyed him. Far from it, in fact. He looked down into her composed expression and detected that spark of mirth in her eyes, the laughter threatening to bubble from her lips. It was quite simply too tempting to banter with her, and he had had enough of fighting for the day .
“I doubt a public coachman will be so obliging as your uncle’s must have been. You would be forced to leave me to be trampled underfoot.”
“And heaven knows, we cannot have that! Only think how disappointed your family would be.”
The inflexion she placed on the word family was hardly to be missed. “Upon consideration,” he mused with affected gravity, “perhaps your suggestion has some merit. I might even consider it a lucky escape.”
“Yes, but if you fell, the traffic on the street would necessarily draw to a stop, blocking the carriages for hours, perhaps. I am certain that such a fastidious fellow as yourself would take issue with creating such a fuss.”
“You have judged me rightly, Miss Bennet. It seems that fainting off the back of the coach is not an option worth considering. I shall simply have to walk, and pray that starvation does not overtake me before I can re-join my cousin.”
“Where does he live, if I may be so bold?”
“Mayfair, but I dare not show myself again at his residence. He was to meet me at the park on Elm by two o’clock. That is just over an hour, which leaves not enough time to return to Gracechurch before meeting him. I hope he has been able to learn something from Wilson.”
“He is certainly an obliging fellow if he exerts himself so on your behalf.”
“He is, but I do not persuade myself that it is for my sake alone that he does so much.”
She pursed her lips, obviously curious, but unwilling to ask what he meant. “And if he has nothing to report?”
“Then I must find some means of biding my time until your uncle returns home and I am able to produce something to my own defence. Unfortunately,” he glanced around, “I cannot think of any home in which I could seek quiet refuge without being found out and harangued by someone connected to… well, it is no thing I ought to trouble you with.” He finished speaking and looked over her head, toward the street, scarcely suppressing a hiss of frustration. Of all the misbegotten, cursed woes, to be so helpless when the stakes were his very future!
She tilted her head. “Has it occurred to you sir, that not all prospects are so dismal?”
He arched an eyebrow in interest. “How so?”
“Sir, you give the impression of one who has always borne the weight of serious matters. Have you ever been forced to spend your time at idle pursuits?”
“I positively loathe such an imposition.”
“Oh, that will not do! Do you not know how to relax?”
“No.”
Her eyes widened at his blunt response, and she began to chuckle. “Well then, you must learn. No, do not scoff, I tell you this in all seriousness. My uncle Gardiner, industrious man that he is, suffered a health crisis two years ago. He works too much, you see, and I fear he is beginning to do so again. My aunt wisely insisted that he take a holiday to the Lake District, and he returned a different man. They now try to go somewhere every summer. I believe it did wonders for his health, for the simple fact that he was not able to set himself about his appointed tasks as he had been used to and was forced to look about for other amusements. He is now a proficient angler and finds it such an enjoyable means of passing the day that he has even shared his passion with me.”
“With you? You enjoy fishing?”
She flinched. “Oh, dear, I was not to speak that aloud. I hope you do not think me any more a hoyden than you did a moment ago.”
“A good deal less, in fact.”
She lifted a brow. “You intrigue me, sir, but let us not lose the point. Perhaps this crisis which you can do nothing about at present is Providence’s way of setting you down for a moment of perspective. ”
“You have the most curious notions, Miss Bennet. You think that I ought to take leave of my troubles for the day? That is the surest way to see them multiply! I tell you, nothing would set my mind at ease so well as seeing this matter resolved.”
“But as you have already told me, there is little you can do, for you must wait on others. Why should you fret yourself into illness? Can you, by one moment’s worry, change what is beyond your control?”
“I can do all that can be done and rest in the knowledge that if I failed, it was not for want of effort,” he insisted.
“That you have already done. We have tried and failed to secure the witness from my uncle. There is nothing to do now but to wait patiently. Unless you are comfortable trusting to your luck without my uncle’s word, my advice to you, sir, is to take the opportunity to enjoy the day, perhaps in some activity you might not have otherwise done.”
“Such as what? You puzzle me exceedingly, Miss Bennet.”
“When was the last time you simply sat under a tree to read a good book? Or admired the rose hedges in the public gardens?”
His brow furrowed. “I was probably twelve.”
“There, do you see? You, sir, are too responsible.”
“This is a bad quality?”
She laughed, a joyful, artless sound he could have listened to for hours without tiring of it. “I am giving you sound advice if you will heed it.”
“You call it sound advice, to tell me that I must neglect my responsibilities?”
“Precisely. For one hour, do something you have never done before. Stop and talk to a hackney driver, sit on a park bench with no object but to watch the birds, buy a flower on the street corner for your sister. And when you have finished torturing yourself in that way, you may resume your search. By then, I might even be able to introduce you to my uncle. ”
“I have had enough of hackneys for the day, thank you. I would go mad sitting on a park bench watching birds, and my sister is safely out of Town just now. What, then, do you recommend, if you are so insistent on me taking my leisure?”
“Well, sir, you did mention your hunger. What if you were to walk into a bakery for a bit of bread, just as any manservant on an errand for his mistress? You could then take a pleasant stroll to that park to await your cousin and find some little spot where you could eat in privacy. After that, I give you leave to act responsibly again.”
“That would satisfy your notion of doing something I have never done before? Taking a loaf of bread to the park? I am no stranger to a picnic, madam. I have taken my sister often enough.”
“But I warrant you have never done so without extensive planning, never dressed as a footman, and I doubt you have ever had to purchase the bread yourself. You shall have to speak to the baker, you know, and imagine the horror if, while seated at a public park, some passer-by happens to glance at you while you have breadcrumbs upon your fingers? Perhaps it is not the most shocking activity you could engage in, but yes, sir, I do believe it would do wonders for you.”
“You have a most peculiar way of considering what is good and helpful for a man.”
“Indeed, I have. Come, there is a bakery just there. I challenge you to put the scheme into action before I leave you to your own devices and return to my aunt’s house.”
“Oh, no, Miss Bennet, you cannot leave me with such an assignment and then merrily go about your way! You must see that I do not expire from the strain of doing nothing.”
“Sir, I have already spent far too long alone with you.”
“So, you would travel unescorted the two miles through the busy hours of London traffic?” He shook his head gravely. “You would do far better to wait for your faithful footman to attend you, which he is most willing to do as soon as he completes the task you have set before him.”
“Sir,” she hesitated, looking down for an instant, “surely you can see that I cannot simply sit with you in a park. You have given me no cause to be ill at ease, but in the partial seclusion of the trees… perhaps it is as well that I tell you frankly that I am not a lady of easy virtue.”
“I am relieved to hear it. Be easy, Miss Bennet, for you are as safe with me as with your uncle. Indeed, I have as much reason as you have to be cautious of my associations; therefore, we will take care that appearances are as they should be, and you will be well protected.”
“Ah, the wolf declares he has no fangs. I am comforted now.”
He smiled. How many ladies would have gone nearly rabid in the attempt to lure him into the secret parts of a park? “Miss Bennet,” he placed his hand over his heart, “on my honour as a footman, I vow to return you safely to your relations, as virtuous and impertinent as you are now. I will even hold your parasol over you as we wait. How could you refuse such an offer?”
She glanced uncomfortably over her shoulder, her lips pressed in thought. “Very well, sir.”