Page 70 of Locke

She laughed and kissed my cheek.

“Our happiness was short-lived, though.” Her voice grew soft. “Because Mordecai found us. Our happiness blinded us to the danger surrounding us, and it tore us apart. Your fathergave me a choice. Accept his mark and bite him in return, or my pack, and my family would be murdered.”

My mother stared at the blank wall, as if she was living every moment.

“I cried for him.” Her lip wobbled. “I wanted him. I chose him. But my mate—trying to be the hero— took Mordecai’s dagger from his side and stabbed himself in the chest.”

My sister and I both stared at my mother in complete devastation.

“He did it so I could save my pack and family.”

My sister and I sat silently clinging to our mother.

“Do not be a hero,” Mother whispered to the both of us. “Do not be a hero, because look at me now. Our pack has turned evil, pups are discarded, there is no love, and mates be damned. The only good that has come out of it is the two of you. Without you both, I am nothing but a husk of my former self.”

“Then, what are we supposed to be if we can’t be a hero?” My sister asked.

I swallowed and leaned against my mother and sister. “A villain. That’s all that’s left.”

We sat in silence while my mother silently cried.

“I didn’t even know his name,” she muttered.

My sister and I sat at our favorite spot. It was on the far side of the lake, away from where the pack would gather their water and fish.

“I heard Mother and Father arguing last night,” I sat and whittled the block of wood I held in my hand. It was my favorite pastime. I enjoyed making small animals, people and even furniture. My sister and I had a full trunk of the creations I’d made, and would play with them during the rainy seasons.

“When do they not?” My sister swung on a vine from a tree and landed on both her feet with steady precision. “I don’t even want to call him Father or my alpha anymore, after hearing what Mother told us about him.”

I twisted my lips and concentrated on my carving. “Nothing we can do now. Not until we are stronger, or you take over the pack,” I said.

I was glad that Amaryllis was the firstborn. It meant I had more time to do things I wanted. I didn’t have the expectations of upholding a pack, to protect it and help it grow. Amaryllis had all those qualities a proper alpha should have; better qualities than Mordecai ever possessed.

“I’ll turn this place around.” Amaryllis put her hands on her hips. “Back how Mother said it was. Where the water was so clean so you didn’t have to boil it, the animals so scared that we have to hunt miles away.”

I smirked. My sister knew how to go off on her tangents. I think that is what I liked most about her. Her confidence and her desire for a change.

“I’ll support you anyway I can. Your training starts tomorrow for alpha, right?”

Mordecai expected training from pups as young as eight years old. It was no different for his children. However, it felt earlier for us. At night, he taught us things a pup shouldn’t know. About war, blood, and who to trust.

There were nights where he would send Amaryllis to bed and make me stay awake. He would drone for hours about alpha duties. Strength, bravery, determination, and to do what one can to win a fight.

I didn’t understand why he would tell me these things. I was not meant to be alpha.

“Yes, on the morrow. Will you stand and watch my first training?” She stood over me, blocking the sun from my sight.

“Yes, now move, you are in the way.” I pushed her leg and she laughed, falling over to my side. As she sat, she nudged me and gazed down at the wood that still had yet to take shape.

“And once I change things in years to come, what will you do? Will you be a warrior, be my beta?”

I shook my head and held up the block. “No, I will be none of those things.”

“Then what?” My sister acted appalled.

It was rather odd to think of anything other than sparring, fighting, or becoming a warrior or hunter within the pack. It was all we did in the Blood Rose. However, before our time, Mother said that every wolf had a job, and it didn’t have to involve fighting and blood. There were clothes makers, homebuilders and bakers. Things we didn’t have to outsource or trade.

“I would want to be a toy maker.” I smiled. “I’d want to make toys for all the pups. Toys we never got to go play with much because we were too busy trying to—” I stared at the other side of the lake. Children were gathering water, or fighting over food and scraps. They were encouraged to fight with one another. “—I want pups to know what it means to play. Like Mother explained.”