Page 39

brUSH BACK PITCH

CAMDYN

A pitch thrown inside to a hitter because the hitter is crowding the plate.

W ith one shoulder pressed against the wall, Jaxon watches me like I’m a puzzle he can’t solve. My whole body is tense and rigid from the way he’s looking at me.

I nearly choke on my own spit when he takes a step my way.

Uhhh, what? Is he actually about to approach me in public? Walking together is one thing, but half his team is here.

Wait… he is! Oh my God.

Shit. Act normal.

I inhale fast and try to act casual. I probably look jittery as hell. At least Nathan bailed when he saw Jaxon coming.

“Hey,” Jaxon says, calm as hell, so unlike me right now. “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah. What’s up?” That’s chill, right? Maybe he won’t notice I’m freaking out since a guy was just asking for my number.

The only reason I gave Nathan my number was because Jaxon was with Inez, and I honestly thought they came together—or were leaving together.

And now he’s coming up to me in public, so I have no idea what to think.

He drags his stunning blue eyes over my body but doesn’t smile. He looks upset, though I can’t tell why. “Oh, uh.” He shrugs, but this time there’s a smirk. Then: “I just didn’t want you talking to him.”

Jealousy looks good on him, not gonna lie. “Jaxon.”

“Who is he?” His breathing shifts, and I swear there’s a flicker of sadness in his eyes.

“Who’s who?”

“ That guy .” He nods at Nathan.

I fight off a smile. “Jax, that’s Nathan. You literally went to grade school with him.” I gesture to where Nathan stands in the corner.

He glances over. “Oh. Huh. Guess it is.” Silence. He sighs. “So, are you talking to him?”

“I mean, just now, yeah.” I shift my weight, aiming for relaxed. “He asked when opening day was.”

“Why?” The way he’s staring at me makes my stomach flip. “He doesn’t even like softball.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he wanted to go?”

He tilts his head, chin up, watching me with that sharp intensity. Then he smirks. “ Or he wants to fuck you,” he says, totally matter-of-fact. The words just hang there, electric.

I stare at him. I kinda want to punch him. (I have, before. Story for another day.) “Jaxon, not all guys want that.”

“From you, they do.”

My cheeks go hot. Embarrassment, shock—both. “Wow.” I fold my arms. “You’re such a dick.”

He looks sad, like he knows he screwed up. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

I look away. “Then how did you mean it?”

His eyes meet mine. “Just that you’re hot.”

I hold his gaze, trying not to lose it. “Well, it sounds like you’re saying nobody would date me for my personality.”

“I’m sure guys would—but you don’t let them see your personality. Unless it’s me.”

“Whatever.”

“I wasn’t saying you’re not beautiful and cool as fuck, Cam.” He leans in, our shoulders pressed together. “I’m just saying you get their attention first with your looks.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Can you blame me for being annoyed? Am I overreacting? Probably. I’m worried that’s the only reason we keep falling back into this situationship. That he only wants me because I’m hot and he wants the sex. Deep down, I don’t think that’s it—but doubt is a bitch.

“Shit.” He sighs, hangs his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean it as a bad thing.”

“I know.” I force my shoulders to relax. I’m clearly reading into this too much.

“Ya wanna take a walk with me?”

“People will see us together,” I point out, raising an eyebrow.

He doesn’t even hesitate. “I don’t care.”

“You used to.” He cares what people think—he can’t help it.

“Well,” he shrugs, hands in his hoodie, “I don’t now.”

Part of me wants to ask why, but I already know. He wants Nathan to see us leave together. And Nathan absolutely does—he watches us the whole way to the door.

“Let the rumors begin, right?” Jaxon jokes.

That flutter in my chest is back. I nod at his teammates staring. “Oh, I’m sure they’ve already started.”

He drapes his arm over my shoulder and opens the door. He smiles but doesn’t say anything. I glance up as he drops his arm around me. His hat’s backward, hair poking out in messy bits. He throws his hood up when the wind kicks up.

Outside, the spring night wraps around us like a blanket. Streetlamps cast pools of golden light on the sidewalk, and music from random house parties drifts through open windows. Groups of students weave past us, their laughter echoing off brick buildings.

I hate that memories of us always bombard me when I’m with him. Us as kids, sitting in the bleachers long after games ended, stadium lights out. My head on his shoulder, his hand in mine. We dreamed of being here, at this school, together, but I never pictured it like this.

We walk in silence. I want to ask about Inez, about why she was with him at the party, but I keep my mouth shut.

“I might be lost,” he says, glancing around the corner. Jaxon walks close enough our shoulders brush with every step. The contact sends sparks through my jacket. Rows of parked cars line the street, metal reflecting city lights.

“What? Are we?”

He laughs. “Yeah, I wasn’t paying attention when we walked over.”

I motion the other way. “We go that way.”

“All right.”

We start walking up the street, streetlights bouncing off the cars. He stops, turns to face me. We’re standing between two lamps, shadows making it feel more intimate. I think he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t.

My phone lights up. “Oh.” I look down. “Sorry.”

Text:

Nathan

heyyyyy

He stares at me. I swallow, nervous. “What?”

Jaxon stops, turns, stares at my phone. “Who the fuck is that?”

“Nathan.”

Jaxon laughs, like he finds it funny. “Of course he texted you.” He grabs my phone and shoves it into his back pocket. “You’re busy.”

I fight a smile. “I am?”

He closes his eyes, nods with a smirk, starts walking again. “Yep.”

My heart aches. I don’t want to ask, but my brain wins. “Are you and Inez still a thing?”

He pauses. “Nah.” He looks at me, moonlight in his eyes. Drops his gaze, hands in his pockets. “It’s different, you know.”

Yeah, I do know. That’s why I haven’t dated since Jaxon. I don’t want different. I want this. “What happened? I saw her talking to you tonight.”

He sighs, and the pause feels too long. “Well.” His brow furrows; he seems relieved, probably because he has my phone. “Doesn’t feel right.”

“Talking to her?” Anxiety rushes in. I don’t know what to think.

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “I don’t think I want to anymore.”

“Oh.” Okay, don’t freak out. Stay chill.

He draws a breath. “What about you?” He runs a hand over his face, shifts his weight, and sighs like he doesn’t want to hear my answer. “Thinking about dating?”

Oh. Huh. Didn’t see that coming. I laugh to cover nerves. “You literally took my phone when another guy texted me.”

He tips his head, smirks. “Don’t regret it.”

He stops walking. Suddenly, we’re back at the school.

I let out a shaky chuckle. The awkwardness fades. We keep walking toward the baseball stadium and athletic center. “What would you do if I did date someone?”

Jaxon says nothing. Even his face is locked down. No idea what he’s thinking.

“I think you know this by now, but—” He stops us, hand on my stomach, backs me against the fence outside the baseball field. He swallows, breathes deep, leaning into me. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t resist you.”

Listen, I don’t know you, you don’t know me—other than what I’ve told you about my current situation. So, let me ask: Should I give in again, even though tomorrow he might not text and nothing will change?

Ah, fuck it. It’s just sex, right?

Right.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.” Jaxon dips his head and kisses me. At first, it’s just a kiss. Then his lips part, tongue finding mine. It’s not forceful—slow, sensual, everything I want and need from him.

With my back to the fence, chests pressed together, I can feel his heart, and it’s beating in time with mine.

“I missed you,” he pants against my lips, tongue sweeping mine again.

“Me too,” I breathe, pulling back to read his face.

The words “what are we doing?” are right there, but I bite them back.

He looks at me like he gets it. He knows we’re complicated and doesn’t have answers either. He kisses my forehead, his words ragged at my cheek. “I can’t stay away from you.”

I smile, because I feel the same. “Why’s that?”

“I don’t know.” His grip tightens. My body aches, desperate. “When I’m away, you’re all I can think about.”

I want to believe him, but there’s a part of me holding back.

Jaxon steps back, hands tight on my hips. “Wanna relive homecoming senior year?”

I know exactly what he means. We had sex on the baseball field in the rain. Best season he ever had. We always joked that was why.

Adrenaline hits, and I nod before I can stop myself.

Jaxon hops up with the grace of someone who’s done this a thousand times. Meanwhile, I’m standing there like, Are we really doing this? Is this a thing normal people do?

“Come on,” he calls, already perched on the top rail like a damn mountain goat.

I start to climb and this is where the doubts creep in. I don’t like trouble. I’ve never been grounded, never had run-ins with police or campus security. I’m not a rule breaker!

My foot slips, my hand misses the bar, and for a split second, I’m dangling there, clinging for dear life. “I hate you for this!” I hiss, because of course he’s laughing at me.

Jaxon shakes his head. “You want a boost, Spider-Man?”

“I swear to God, Jaxon, if you call me Spider-Man one more time—” My grip slips, and suddenly I’m falling, gravity doing its evil thing.

Next thing I know, I’m landing directly in his arms. He actually catches me. Like, bridal style. Like we’re in some cheesy rom-com except I’m out of breath and probably flashing some tit at this awkward angle.

He grins down at me, smug as hell. His eyes find my chest. I look, and yeah, one tit is out. “Told you I got you.”