Page 6

Chapter 6

Callan

C allan Solgard sat on one of the steps descending from the quarterdeck, watching Sorin and Eliza spar with Drake and Cassius. Rayner and Cyrus were monitoring, coaching the non-Fae on adjustments to make. They’d been on this ship for over two weeks. It had been ?ve days since Scarlett and Cassius had appeared on the back of a dragon. Not the shadow dragon she liked to conjure, but an honest-to-the-gods dragon.

Tava had taken his younger sister, Eva, to another ship to spend time with some of the children. Eva had been banging on the door of his cabin before the sun had risen. Tava had been with her, apologizing profusely for waking them. It was good for Eva. After everything she had been through, everything she had witnessed. She’d hardly spoken for an entire week after they had watched Alaric slit the throats of their parents. They’d ?ed to the Black Halls with the Fae before Briar had moved them to the House of Water, and Callan hadn’t left his sister’s side that entire week. Tava had brought them food, water, whatever they’d needed.

He didn’t know what the Lady was thinking or feeling about anything. They’d agreed to explore a real courting rather than the ruse they’d been portraying for the last couple months, and then they’d been pulled into this nightmare. He kept thinking he would wake up at any moment. It was too surreal. The things he’d seen. What he’d endured. A year ago, his biggest problem was a wraith who’d walked away from him without explanation. The Fae were a vague threat to their kingdom, but one kept under control. He’d never truly worried about them. They’d been as mythical to him as the lost Avonleyan Kingdom they were sailing towards.

He didn’t know where to go from here with anything in his life— his throne, his people, his sister, Tava. He certainly wasn’t in any right state of mind to be contemplating a relationship, and it hadn’t exactly been at the forefront of his thoughts lately. He didn’t know what his future would hold anymore. Was he a king? Would a king run from what was threatening his people? His kingdom? That future he was contemplating wasn’t as clear cut and laid out for him as it had been nearly his entire life.

“Good morning, your Majesty,” chirped a voice of darkness. A moment later, Scarlett was plopping down beside him on his step, passing over a steaming cup of tea.

“You detest such titles,” he said, taking the cup from her.

“I detest the cold,” she groused. “But a title should be used when the occasion calls for it.”

“And this occasion calls for it because?”

Scarlett was quiet for a long moment before she said, “You are a king, Callan. You deserve that title and the respect that comes with it. I am sorry I did not always give that to you.”

It was his turn to fall silent for a moment. He took a sip of the tea, and a harsh cough escaped him when it burned on the way down. Not because it was hot, but because it wasn’t just tea. “What is in this?” he asked hoarsely, peering into the cup.

A sly grin tilted her lips. “Tea... and some liquor,” she said, taking a big sip from her own cup.

Callan huffed a laugh, following suit and taking another drink. He nodded toward the deck below. “You are not training this morning?”

She sighed dramatically. “I have been instructed to ‘take it easy today.’”

“By Sorin?”

“Yes.” She rolled her eyes. “Even with bright silver eyes, he still insists on being an overprotective pain in my ass.”

Said pain in her ass glanced over at them as if he’d heard her, and she wiggled her ?ngers at him.

“It is good you ?nally let someone in,” Callan said. “It is good you let someone take care of you every once in a while.”

“It is,” she agreed. Scarlett went quiet, ?ddling with her teacup, then she cleared her throat. “Anyway, I am also rather cranky today about this abysmal weather, and no one wanted to spar with me because I get extra violent when I’m crabby.”

Callan barked a laugh, and it felt strange. He was fairly certain he hadn’t so much as smiled in the weeks since he’d watched death claim so many he cared for.

“So you are drinking instead?”

“If I am being forced to endure being stuck on a damp, cold ship under grey skies, I am going to drink, your Majesty,” she said, clinking her teacup against his before throwing back the last of hers.

“Fair enough,” he said, doing the same.

She leaned back on her elbows, tipping her face to the cloudy sky, her eyes falling closed. “What do you need to talk about, Callan? And do not say ‘nothing.’ We both know that is bullshit.” Her shadows ?owed from her, wrapping around their empty teacups and taking them to... wherever they went. Then she reached into her cloak pocket and pulled out a small bottle of liquor. She unscrewed the cap, taking a pull directly from the bottle before passing it to him and waiting.

He took a drink, feeling the alcohol warm everything on its way down. “Tava is really good with Eva,” he ?nally said.

“Mmm,” she hummed. “Losing a parent is hard. Seeing your mother and father killed in front of your eyes... That will leave a mark. It will never go away, but she has you. That will help.”

Callan nodded, taking another pull from the small liquor bottle before passing it back to her. She would know. She’d seen the woman she’d called Mother be taken apart piece by piece. “I do not know how to help her... deal with all of this. I do not know how to deal with all of this.”

Scarlett’s eyes had moved to the horizon, watching the waves. “When I lost Eliné...” She sighed. “My people were two young girls who were being trained to take life just as I was, a best friend instructing said training, and a master who made sure that I associated survival, love, and family with him. She has you, Callan. You. Pure light and all things good. Will she struggle? Absolutely. But as long as she has you, she will be okay. She will not turn to violence and rage like I was encouraged to do. You will make sure of that.”

“How do you know?”

“Because when I met you, for the ?rst time in years, my world wasn’t quite so dark.”

“My light was simply not enough for you,” he said, not out of bitterness but more of an observation.

“No, Callan. My darkness was not enough for you ,” she replied, passing the liquor back to him. “You deserve so much more than my world of shadows, and I think you are ?nding the light far more beautiful.” A comfortable silence fell between them for a time before she said, “But how about you ? You also lost your parents. You also saw them taken before your very eyes. And Finn and Sloan...” She swallowed thickly. “I am sorry, Callan. Just as I know what it does to a little girl to see that, I know what it does to a person to see their friends fall.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

What else was there to say? Nothing really. He saw Finn and Sloan falling when he closed his eyes, collapsing as the life was snuffed from them with the squeeze of a ?st. He heard Eva’s horri?ed screams in his dreams. He felt his chest constricting with Alaric’s power when it got too quiet, when he was too still.

“Everything you are feeling, Callan? And everything you are not feeling? It is all okay. It is... Those feelings are valid. I want you to know that. There is no right or wrong way to survive this as long as you survive,” she said softly.

And wasn’t that what he was doing? Simply surviving at this point? It didn’t seem like it was enough. It seemed like he should be doing more. He was supposedly a king. He was responsible for his little sister now. He had so many godsdamn responsibilities. He’d thought he’d have more time before he would ?nd himself in the position of ruling.

And yet every day since that throne room, it was all he could do to get out of bed in the morning. To put one foot in front of the other. He could hardly focus on the next hours, next minutes, let alone days to come.

Scarlett bumped her knee against his. “Don’t push the grief and anger and sorrow down, Callan. Don’t let it grow and fester and draw you into the darkness. It is harder for people to ?nd you there. And the longer you stay, the more you forget that there are stars worth ?ghting for. Don’t...” She turned, looking out over the endless waves around them for a long moment. “Don’t shut people out. It takes longer to heal when you don’t let people in.”

“Do you ever really heal?” he asked, stretching his legs out before him.

“No,” she said quietly. “But the days become bearable. They slowly become brighter. Then you have a good day amidst a mess of bad ones, and you think maybe it is worth it. To ?ght for the good days. It doesn’t hurt any less. It just hurts differently, and the pain isn’t quite so staggering when you have people to keep you from drowning.” Her head turned, silver eyes settling on him. “Fight for the good days, Callan. Even if they are few and far between right now, ?ght for the good days. And if good days seem too impossible right now, ?ght for the good moments that manage to appear amidst the hell you’re enduring. The glimpses of light. Fight for those.”

“I can’t...” His throat bobbed, eyes darting to the sea. “I do not sleep at night, Scarlett,” he ?nally managed. “I can’t... When I do manage to sleep, I wake up in a cold sweat because all I see is...”

Scarlett was silent, letting him try and get his thoughts together, try to put some sort of voice to them. But when he didn’t continue for several minutes, she said, “I wish I had a map to give you to guide you through this, Callan. I wish I had some great secret that would make this even slightly easier. But you have to walk through it. You have to face the storms that will come for you over and over, the memories that threaten to keep you locked in this nightmare. You will be different on the other side. You may not even fully recognize yourself. But you will make it to the other side, Callan. And on the days you think you won’t, I’m here to sit in your darkness until you’re ready to ?nd your light.”

Callan swallowed thickly against the burn in his throat. He might hate how the last year had been between them, but what had Tava said? That she believed he and Scarlett were meant to be in each other’s lives? Scarlett might not believe in the Fates, but he was starting to believe their meeting was not by chance, if only so she could be here, at this exact moment in time with him, giving him hope that he would indeed make it through this.

She leaned over then, wrapping her arms around him, and he found himself gripping her tightly back. “Don’t let them steal your light, Callan,” Scarlett whispered. “This world needs it.”

“If I did not have so many responsibilities before me right now, I would question if the glimpses of light are even worth it at this point,” he ?nally managed, his voice barely a whisper. He turned to look at the queen. “What does that say about me? As a person? To say something like that? To even think it?”

“That you are human, Callan,” she replied. “It says that you are a normal person. Despite the titles you bear, at the end of the day, you are just like everyone else. A normal person with perfectly normal feelings.”

“And what does it say about me as a king?” he pressed on, ignoring her comment. “You call me Majesty, but have I earned such a title? I fail to see how, Scarlett. I have done nothing to earn anything I have. I have only lost everything that ever mattered.”

“Not everything, Callan,” she said, her tone as soft as before. “But when you are drowning, it is hard to see beyond the waves keeping you under.”

“You did not disagree with me. That I have not earned such a title.”

She shrugged slightly. “I hated it when people would say things to try to make me feel better or downplay what I was feeling. Is it my place to say if you have earned it or not? That is up to you to decide. You and your people, not me. But if you feel you have not yet earned it, if you feel your people do not believe you have earned it, there is nothing stopping you from starting the work to earn it now. If you think more is needed to be worthy of that crown when it is placed upon your head—because it will be, Callan. I will restore your kingdom to you—then you have between now and then to become worthy of it.”

He scoffed. “You make it sound so simple.”

“It will not be,” she said, taking another pull from the bottle. “In fact, it will be grueling and hard, and you will often wonder if it is truly worth it.”

“Thanks for that,” he muttered, taking the bottle she held out to him. She shrugged again and then sighed, as if in pain. “I cannot believe I am going to say this, but if the Fates do exist, and that is a very strong if , then I would have to believe that you were made for such a time as this, Callan. You were destined for your throne, as I was for mine, but if you do not want that path, then you do not have to take it.”

“And what happens then? To my people?”

“They would no longer be your people. It would no longer be your concern,” she said simply.

“I cannot simply... walk away from them.”

“Then I guess you have your answer. So get up... your Majesty.”

She took the liquor bottle back from him and got to her feet. Then she was sauntering down the stairs towards those sparring. “Okay, assholes,” she called out as she neared. “Who’s sparring with me?”

Cyrus glanced at her. “We already told you: no one wants to spar with a cranky queen who hasn’t eaten. Did you eat breakfast?”

She glanced at the bottle in her hand. “I drank it?”

Cyrus snorted as Sorin said, “You have been drinking this morning?”

She slid the bottle behind her back. “Of course not. Tea . I drank tea.”

“Scarlett.”

“Sorin,” she mocked. “Spar with me.”

“Not if you have been drinking. I thought you were taking a day off?”

“Winner gets to pick the position tonight,” she taunted.

For a split second, confusion clouded his features. Then Callan could see the heated look he gave her even from where he still sat on the steps.

“Such a dirty tongue this morning, Princess,” Sorin crooned, his voice dropping low and predatory.

“Still a queen, you know,” she said airily.

“I am well aware,” he replied, prowling towards her.

“I guess if you’re not going to spar with me, I’ll go to Briar’s ship. It’s bigger anyway.” Then she was squealing around laughter as Sorin hoisted her over his shoulder. “Sorin! Put me down!”

Callan couldn’t hear what he said to her as he made his way to the prince’s cabin, but he found himself smiling as he watched them. If she could ?nd something to laugh about after everything she had faced, he could do the same. He could focus on one moment at a time. He could ?ght for the glimpses of light.

He pushed to his feet, jogging lightly down the steps and making his way to the Fae warriors.

The Fae. A race of people he’d become so embittered towards because of what they had represented to him, of what he had thought they were taking from him.

How foolish he’d been. Wrapped up in his own little world of royalty and propriety. Raised to ?nd value in what others could give him rather than in what he could provide to those who had nothing to offer in return. He’d often contemplated lately how silly it was to shelter a Crown Prince when he was one day expected to rule over a kingdom.

Now he contemplated how idiotic he’d been to allow himself to be so sheltered.

“Cyrus,” he called out as the Fire Second turned to speak to Cassius.

He looked back over his shoulder. “Callan?”

“Will you train me? You and Eliza and Rayner,” he clari?ed.

“You want us to train you?” Eliza asked, her head tilting and copper braid slipping over a shoulder.

“You know how to handle a sword,” Cyrus said, his arms folding across his chest. “I’ve seen you spar.”

“Yes, but not as well as I could. When we go into battle again, I want to be able to ?ght,” Callan said, lifting his chin. “I want to be able to defend my family, my— The people I care about.”

“You are still just a mortal,” Eliza said, eyeing him thoughtfully now.

“So were Sorin’s High Force,” he countered.

“But they were soldiers. They’d been training for the king’s army nearly their entire lives,” Cyrus cut in.

“I don’t want to be like my father,” Callan said, his tone shifting. “A king should not constantly be behind closed doors in council rooms, making laws and decisions that affect people he knows nothing about. If I cannot walk among my kingdom, my people, without fearing for my life, then I should not be a king. If I am not willing to ?ght for my people, willing to pick up my own sword and go ?ght beside them, then I should not be their king. If I am not willing to do whatever possible to better myself for my people, even those who would rather see me dead right now, then I should not be their king.”

The others were staring back at him when he fell silent. For the ?rst time since he had met the Fae, some type of respect looked back at him. He’d been bitter in the Fire Court—ridiculously self-pitying, if he were being honest—with how they’d treated him. But he’d never acted in any way to earn their respect either. He’d never had to earn respect before. Another thing that had always simply been given to him because of his title.

“If he wants it badly enough, he can obtain that level of skill. I did,” Eliza ?nally said. “I did that and then some. I surpassed all my teachers.”

“So you will do it? You will train me?” Callan asked, glancing around at the Fae.

“We can’t really do much on a ship,” Eliza mused in contemplation. “But we can do what we can until we reach Avonleya.”

“And then?”

She ?ashed him a wicked grin. “And then the real fun begins.”