Page 8 of Knox (The Black Roses MC #4)

Chapter eight

Mia

“Y ou want another?” Lucy asks, pointing to the glass in front of me. Charlie and I decided to have a little date over at Thorn and Thistle since Linc and Jude are on a run. I have to admit, I like the idea of being able to hang out with two of my friends without the chance of Knox showing up with their men. But on the other hand, there’s a part of me that’s a little sad that there’s no chance of seeing Knox tonight. It’s seriously a total mindfuck.

“Sure, why not? I’m celebrating.”

I finally finished the proposal to the school board for the improvements that the library needs, and it’s absolute perfection if I do say so myself.

Which I do .

It’s been years since anything has been updated in the library. The former librarian was not in favor of changing anything, happy with the status quo. When I came in, I would inquire about things here and there but was constantly told it wasn’t in the budget. But this year, with the donation we’re expecting to come in from the spring festival, there’s no way they’re going to say no to me. Plus, Charlie already told me she’ll drive me home so I can get up to any trouble I care to. Not that there’s much trouble to get into in Shine on a Friday night, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same.

The bar is on the busy side considering no one has to work tomorrow. There’s a lull in the music, so I grab my purse and rummage through it, finding a few dollar bills.

“I’m going to put some music on. Anyone have any requests?”

“None of that girly pop you ladies seem so fond of these days,” one of the regulars says from the other side of me.

“Shut up, Will. Don’t act like I don’t hear you humming along to those songs,” Lucy replies, then looks at me. “Play the poppiest of pop songs your little heart desires. Will loves that shit.”

The man groans, and Lucy sticks her tongue out at him.

“Be careful with that tongue, Lucifer. I have plans for it later.”

A wide smile stretches across her face, and Lucy walks around the bar to Jude. She jumps in his arms and wraps her legs around his waist, kissing him as though there’s no one else in the room.

Inappropriate? Yes.

But damn, I wish there was someone I could climb like a tree anytime the mood struck.

These vodka sodas may be getting to my head.

“I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow,” she says as he walks her back toward the bar and sets her down.

“Knox wanted to get back, and I wasn’t going to argue.”

I look over and see Charlie giving Linc a welcome as though he just got back from war.

Laughing, I shake my head and head over to the jukebox. As I’m putting in my song selections, I feel a presence behind me and a hand reaches for the number pad on the old machine.

“Do you mind?” a deep voice asks from behind me.

“Um…no, go ahead,” I say to Knox, whose soft breath tickles the side of my face as he presses a few numbers, making a selection of his own.

The air has stalled in my lungs at his nearness, and I’m struck motionless with his heat at my back and that scent of cedar with a hint of motor oil surrounding me.

“Breathe, sweetheart,” he whispers, and I swear to God my knees feel like jelly, but I do as he says.

He stands straight, adding only a couple inches between our bodies. When I turn, there’s a certain heat in his eyes that I’m not used to seeing, though I suppose that could be wishful thinking.

This is all so confusing. It wasn’t that long ago he barely talked to me and kept his distance. Now, whenever we’re in a room together, he’s near enough to hear when my breath stutters. It’s as though all my girlhood fantasies are coming to life, and honestly, it’s kind of scaring the crap out of me. I know how to appreciate him from afar, but I’m wholly unprepared to have him so close and in my space.

“Hi,” I say dumbly as I stare into his blue eyes. “You guys decided to come back early, I see.”

Smooth, Mia. Real fucking smooth.

His lip tips up at the corner, and goddamn if that half smile doesn’t send tingles racing down my spine.

“We did. Didn’t feel like being on the road longer than I had to.” A look of uncertainty crosses his face, but it’s gone only a moment later. “The guys didn’t at least. I figured they wanted to get home to their women.”

“Glad you made it back safely,” I say, then slide out from where I’m standing between Knox and the jukebox. Being this close to him is doing things to my body that I wasn’t prepared for. I wasn’t expecting to see him, and I have no defense against letting him see how his mere presence affects me. Usually, if I know he’s going to be around, I can mentally prepare, so I don’t make an ass out of myself. Well, not every time, seeing as I practically attacked him with a dessert a few nights ago. It’s a work in progress.

I walk back over to the bar and grab my drink, taking several long pulls from the straw, nearly finishing it in one go. Lucy looks at me with concern in her gaze, but I give her a wide smile. She knows what Knox does to me and how out of sorts I am when he’s around. Of course, she also thinks it’s ridiculous and I should just pull up my big girl panties and flirt with him to see where that takes me.

God, I want to. I wish I had her confidence. I want to be the one who gets the hello kisses Charlie and Lucy get from their men. I want to be the one who has a man who looks at me the way theirs do with them. But that’s never been my story. I’ve always been the one with sensible sweater sets. The nice girl, the reliable friend. Sometimes I wish I had it in me to be bad.

Jesus, the vodka is definitely going to my brain.

Nothing to do but order another.

It’s a nice dream, but this is Knox I’m talking about. If he were interested, I’m sure he'd have made it known. Not that I would have the faintest idea what to do or what it would look like if he did.

“How about a round of shots?” Jude suggests.

“Yes,” I reply, probably a little louder than necessary.

Lucy smiles and goes about pouring the guys their customary whiskey. Though that’s my usual drink of choice, I opt for something a little smoother.

“Can I buy you another drink since apparently I insulted your music tastes earlier?” Will asks next to me.

“No,” Knox responds, shoving his way between Will and me.

Well, okay then.

I lean around the behemoth of a man and smile sweetly at the perfectly nice one sitting on the other side. “You didn’t insult me, Will. I played something special just for you.” When the latest Top 40 hit comes on, I smile even wider, and Will laughs before turning to his friends.

“That was a little rude,” I whisper to Knox.

The man shrugs as though he couldn’t care less and says nothing else. Okay, guess we’re back to silence with the occasional grunt to break up the quiet.

Lucy hands us our shots, and I immediately take mine.

“Uh, I think you're supposed to wait,” Charlie says with a giggle.

Lucy chuckles along with her and pours me another. “Am I going to be cutting you off tonight, my friend?”

“I have a driver, and I’m celebrating. I think I’m allowed a night to get a little wild.”

Lucy raises her brows and looks at Knox, then back to me. “Sister, you can be as crazy as you want. In fact, I fully support this side of you.” She gives me a pointed look with a not-so-subtle nod toward the man next to me before handing me the glass.

“How about a toast, Lucifer?” Jude says as Lucy raises her glass.

She thinks on it for a minute, then a broad smile stretches across her face. “Here’s to the top and here’s to the middle. Hopefully tonight, we all get a little.”

Jude barks out a loud laugh before we all take the shot and slams his glass on the bar. He grabs Lucy by the back of her neck and smashes his mouth to hers. “You’ll be getting more than a little, love.”

“Promises, promises,” she teases as she collects the glasses and checks on her other customers.

Two hours pass and several shots are poured and toasted. I’m feeling light and happy even with the man sitting next to me. Maybe that’s what it takes to feel less awkward. I just need to drink copious amounts of vodka around Knox, and all my worries simply disappear. I laugh at my silly thought and Charlie gives me a dopey smile while tangled with Linc on the other side of me.

“What are you giggling at?” she asks with a slight slur to her words.

“I like vodka. I should drink it all the time,” I reply, throwing my arms out wide, nearly knocking over the beer bottle sitting in front of Knox. He grabs it in the nick of time.

“You have really good reflexes,” I tell him. “Like a cat. Are you part cat?”

I look around his head as though little ears are going to suddenly sprout out of his hair.

“No, sweetheart. Just a man,” he says, his lips tilting in an almost smile.

“That’s a good look on you. When you smile.” I point my finger at his mouth. “Not that you smile much. You’re very serious all the time.”

I make a stern face and growl at him. When his eyebrows raise, I laugh again.

“Yeah, that’s the face all the girls made when I did my impression of you. I think it’s pretty good though.” I turn toward where Linc and Jude are sitting and make the same face. “See, it’s good, right?”

“She looks just like you, brother,” Jude says, not trying to contain his laughter in the slightest.

“Stop egging her on,” Lucy says, looking at Jude.

I’m giggling as I turn back to Knox who is wearing a glare pointed directly at Jude.

“There it is.” I lean forward and bop Knox on the nose, and the look of surprise on his face has me throwing my head back in hysterical laughter.

“Oh, I love this song. Come on, Charlie, let’s dance.” I hop off my seat, a little wobbly on my feet, but who cares? This song is everything, and I can’t fight the need to shake my ass to it.

Charlie laughs as I spin her, then I start shaking my hips from side to side with my hands in the air, belting out my very own perfect rendition of the song. I start jumping up and down, tossing my head back and forth before I grab an empty beer bottle from one of the tables to use as a microphone.

“You guys should really have karaoke in this place. It would be so fun,” I call out before I start singing again, twirling around and around before I feel myself going down. Before my face meets the ground, a pair of strong arms grab me and pull me back upright.

“You okay?” Knox asks with a look of amusement on his face.

“Uh-huh,” I reply, breathless from my dancing and stellar vocal performance.

He begins to walk me back over to the table, and I stumble over my feet, nearly falling flat on my ass.

“I think it’s time to go, sweetheart,” he says, steadying me once again.

My lips purse, and I blow out a raspberry and scrunch my nose, thinking about his suggestion. Considering I’m seeing two of him at the moment, he may have a point. “Okay,” I concede.

I hold his very strong, very tight arm as we continue the laborious journey of seven steps back to my seat at the bar and grab my purse, digging for my keys.

“Why do I have so much crap in here?” I ask out loud, sifting through my bag. Receipts and loose cash from when I got change for the jukebox tumble around the cavernous bag, along with a few pens and an inordinate amount of lip balm.

“Ah-ha.” I hold my keys above my head in a triumphant flourish, waving them around until someone grabs them from my hand.

“You aren’t driving,” Knox says, giving me a stern look.

“Of course not. I was going to give them to Charlie.”

I look over at my friend, who is sloppily making out with her boyfriend.

She lifts her head and looks at me. “I’m not driving, either. Linc can give us a ride home.”

“I’ve got it,” Knox says.

He slides the strap of my purse over my shoulder and grabs my hand. “Come on, trouble. Time to go home and sleep it off,” he says and starts heading for the door.

“Wait, I have to pay,” I argue before we get to the door.

“I already did,” Knox tells me without slowing down as he walks outside with my hand still clasped in his.

He unlocks my door and helps me in the car.

“Thank you, Jeeves,” I say, then burst into a fit of giggles.

Knox arches his eyebrow in question.

Fuck, that’s sexy.

“What is?” Now the eyebrow is coupled with a smirk.

“Huh?” I ask.

“Something about something being sexy…”

Double fuck, I said that out loud.

“I don’t know what you're talking about. Do you hear voices? You may want to talk to someone about that.”

Knox laughs and shuts the door. I’m pretty sure I got out of that one.

As he drives my car back to my grandmother’s property, I flip through the stations on the radio until I land on a song that was popular in high school.

“I used to love this song,” I say, swaying in my seat.

“You gonna sing this one, too?” he asks with a little snicker.

“Hey buddy, my singing is spot on. I have the voice of an angel.” I hold my nose in the air with a huff of offense. It doesn’t last long before he’s chuckling next to me, and I smile, unable to hold my anger.

“God, I had such a crush on you in high school.” My heavy head rests against the back of the seat as I allow myself the rare indulgence of unabashedly staring at him.

Knox’s head tilts to the side slightly, but he keeps his eyes on the road.

“If I were sober, I probably wouldn’t be saying this, but I don’t care. I thought you were the most handsome boy I’d ever seen. Shit, you looked more like a man than any other boys I had in my class,” I tell him.

“You never talked to me. Pretty sure I was at your house a few times, too.”

I laugh as though he said the most ridiculous thing. “Please, you had so many girls hanging all over you. I was just Nolan’s little sister who was around to make sure no one broke my mom’s vases or set the house on fire or something. I was never really at those parties, just kind of there, taking care of things, as usual.”

“I don’t remember who you hung out with. Actually, I don’t remember seeing you much in high school other than when you played in band at the football games.”

I groan, wishing I had another shot in front of me. “Be honest—you probably couldn’t pick me out of a lineup. You were too busy making eyes at the cheerleaders.”

Knox lets out a light chuckle and looks at me, then back to the road. “First of all, I never looked at the cheerleaders when I was in the middle of a game. Second, you’re wrong. If I had a photo of you with the rest of the band, I would definitely be able to pick you out.”

“Oh, please. There were plenty of times I saw you leave my brother’s party with one of those cheerleaders.”

“Yeah, I’d leave with them, then they’d act like they had no idea who I was at school.”

My brows draw down, not quite comprehending what he’s saying. “This could be the vodka, but I’m confused. Any of those girls would've been lucky to have a star player as a boyfriend. What do you mean they would act like they didn’t know you?”

“I guess it sounds worse than it was. I was the kid from the other side of the tracks, and those cheerleaders were from opposite worlds. I may have been a star player, but it didn’t change where I came from. I didn’t have money, and their parents considered us biker trash. It was different back then than it is now.”

“Ugh, that makes me so mad for you.” I huff out my annoyance and cross my arms over my chest while Knox chuckles at my irritation.

“It was what it was.” He shrugs as he turns into my grandmother’s estate and down the dirt drive that leads to my little house.

When he parks, he turns the engine off and I open the car door, stumbling up the small walk to my front door. Knox is next to me in an instant.

“Want to come in? I never got to thank you for taking care of everything with my car. I think I have beer in the fridge.” Did I just ask Knox Turner to come into my house for a drink?

“Sure.”

Oh my God. Knox Turner is going to come in.

He unlocks my front door since he still has my keys, and I flip on the lights once we’re inside.

“Living room is through there,” I say, pointing to the right. “I’ll grab you that beer.”

He nods, making his way into the living room, and I watch him for a brief moment. It’s so fucking crazy to see him in my space. He walks over to the small bookcase I have and peruses the titles, smirking at my romance selection.

“The remote is on the coffee table if you want to put something on.”

Jesus, am I going to actually watch TV with the man?

“I’m not much for TV,” he answers and takes a seat on my beige couch.

I head into the kitchen and open the fridge, pushing everything aside until I find the two bottles of beer shoved in the back. Then I open my freezer and pull out a bottle of vodka. Taking a healthy swig, I set the bottle on the counter. What is actually happening right now? What possessed me to invite this man in here? I don’t have men over to my place. I grab the bottle and take another long swig.

Fuck it.

I want to be that girl. Tonight, I am that girl . I put the vodka away and take the two beers back into the living room, handing him one. He nods in thanks, and I have a seat next to him.

“How about some music?” I ask, not knowing what the hell to do with myself.

“Sure.”

I stand and head over to the dock and set my phone in the holder, connecting it to the speakers before I put the music app on shuffle.

“I really like this band,” Knox says.

I turn around to walk back over to the couch, trying to put a little sway in my step because that just kind of feels like something someone would do when they’re trying to seduce the hot biker on their couch. But my shin knocks into the corner of the damn coffee table.

“Ow, shit!” When I bend down to rub my sore bone, I lose my footing and fall over.

“Fuck,” Knox says and rushes over to me.

He kneels beside me before running his hand over my leg, and I burst out laughing.

“It would hurt a lot more if I didn’t have so much alcohol running through me.”

Knox shakes his head, but he’s wearing a smile. “It probably wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t drinking in the first place. May I?” he asks when his hand finds the hem of my pants.

I nod dumbly, feeling a rush of heat where his hand is touching my ankle. “S-sure,” I stutter out.

He lifts my pant leg, and though there’s a red line where my shin made contact with the wood, there’s no blood.

“I think you’ll survive,” he says, standing, then holds out his hand.

Grabbing the hand that was just touching my leg, I let him haul me off the floor. We’re so close, standing in the middle of my living room. This isn’t the first time I’ve been this close to him, but it is the first time we’ve been alone like this.

Now or never, Mia.

I anchor myself by grabbing his waist and lift on my tiptoes so I can reach his mouth.

And to my absolute horror, the man puts his hands on my shoulders and gently pushes himself away.

“Oh my God,” I say, jumping away from him. “I can’t believe I just did that.” Warmth creeps up my neck and into my face, which I’m sure looks like a fucking tomato from embarrassment right about now. “I’m so sorry. You came in for a thank-you beer, and I practically tried to eat your face.”

“That’s a little exaggerated. Look, Mia—”

Before he can get a word out, my hand clamps over my mouth. The warm feeling that I thought was from humiliation has turned into what feels like a tsunami in my stomach.

“Oh shit,” I say before running to the bathroom in my room, flipping the toilet seat up and emptying the contents of my stomach—a.k.a. all the vodka I’ve consumed—into the toilet.

Moments later, the light in the bathroom switches on. If my eyes weren’t already closed, I would be squeezing them shut, wishing like hell the man who turned on the lights was not, in fact, standing in my bathroom watching me heave. Well, he came after I was finished—oh wait, thought that too soon.

I begin retching again, but this time, a soothing hand caresses my back. Another hand gathers the hair I was desperately trying to keep out of my face into a ponytail as all the liquor I’ve ever consumed in my entire life is trying to reappear and be purged from my body.

When the rolling of my stomach ceases, I nearly collapse onto the floor, exhausted from the exorcism of alcohol.

“Do you think you’re done?” Knox asks in a gentle voice.

“Yeah,” I croak out, too mortified to meet his eyes.

His boots move from where he’s perched himself on the edge of my bathtub while helping me. He walks to the sink, and I hear water running before he comes back with a cool washcloth.

“Tilt your head up, sweetheart.”

I do as he asks, and he wipes the damp cloth over my face.

“Not exactly how I pictured the first time you coming over would turn out,” I say sullenly as he walks back over to my vanity. He grabs my pink toothbrush from the holder and squeezes toothpaste over the bristles before handing it to me.

“Help me up? I’d rather not brush my teeth over my toilet.”

He reaches down and pulls me so I can stand in front of my sink. When I rinse my mouth, he hands me some mouthwash, too.

“You give really good puking-after-consuming-too-much-alcohol care.”

Knox chuckles and leans against the wall. “I used to live in a clubhouse full of bikers. I had to help all my brothers to bed at least once. And usually, they didn’t make it to the toilet.”

I scrunch my nose in disgust. “Let’s not talk about that.” Then something he said strikes me. “What do you mean used to ?”

“I got my own place a while ago. I still spend some nights at the clubhouse, like if there’s a party and I don’t want to ride home. But once my brother moved in with Charlie, I got my own place, too.”

“I had no idea,” I say as I walk over to my bed.

Knox disappears again and comes back with a glass of water and sets it on my nightstand. Then he goes back to my bathroom, and I hear him rummaging around in my medicine cabinet. He returns with two pills, placing them next to the water.

“Think you can get yourself changed?” he asks, handing me the pair of pajamas I have sitting on the chair in the corner of my room.

I grab them from him and begin pulling my pants down my legs. Knox clears his throat and turns as I make quick work of my pants and top.

“I’m decent,” I say, and he walks over to my bed and pulls the covers back.

“Okay, trouble. Time for you to pass out.”

Climbing into bed, Knox turns off the light, but his outline is still illuminated with the moonlight from my window in the otherwise dark room.

“Sorry I’m such a disaster. Thank you for taking care of me,” I say as my eyes close.

I swear I feel his finger brush across my cheek as he whispers, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Then sleep overtakes me.