Page 7

Chapter seven

Knox

“W ell, well, well. I expected to have one of your grunts driving everything out to us, not the lieutenant of the Monaghan family,” I say, standing outside of the clubhouse as Cillian Doyle steps out of a Sprinter van and opens the door of the luxury sports car his fiancée came in.

“Nova wanted to visit with the girls and say hello to Ozzy,” Cillian replies as another car and two motorcycles pull in behind him.

Nova hops out of the car and waves in my direction before walking over to Charlie’s car, giving her—then Lucy—a long hug when they step out.

Cillian strides over to me, and we shake hands, but his attention is focused on the woman who stole his wallet, then his heart, in New Orleans several months back.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” I say.

We watch as Lucy grabs Nova’s left hand and whistles loudly as she takes in the huge diamond on her finger that I can see shining from here. “Good job, Cillian,” she yells to him.

He smiles and laughs. “Have her tell you about how she found it,” Cillian calls back and laughs.

“Now don’t go telling all my secrets,” Nova says in a sweet Southern accent I’ve never heard her use before.

The usually stalwart lieutenant shakes his head with a chuckle before turning back to me. “Figured you’d want to use a new van rather than that beater you’ve been driving since we’ve been doing business.”

I nod, examining the vehicle as Cillian leads me to the back and opens the doors. He lifts the floorboard, revealing the hidden compartments underneath with the guns nestled in safely. Then he opens the false side panels, another hiding spot for the merchandise we’re taking to Michigan.

“Liam had this lying around. Said if we wanted to use it for our business, we were more than welcome. It’s hooked up to GPS that only we have access to, just in case.”

No one is expecting any trouble on our little business trip, but we’ve all learned to play it safe the last couple years, especially between the Italians and the New York Russians. Not to mention the Bone Breakers—who are still without answers as to where three of their guys vanished to. They already tried to fuck with us once when we weren’t prepared, and there won’t be a second time.

“Hey, Cillian, good to see you,” Ozzy says, walking to meet us at the back of the van with Cash behind him.

Cillian shakes Ozzy’s hand, then Cash’s.

“Thanks for the phone call,” Cash says before looking over toward Nova. “She's happier than I’ve ever seen her.”

Before Cillian proposed to Nova, he called Cash to tell him. He grew up with Nova and her older brother, Cooper. After Cooper’s death, Cash hadn’t spoken to Nova for over a year. She held a grudge the size of Texas against the club. But when she needed protection a few months back, Ozzy took her and her best friend in. Then we assisted the Monaghans in making sure there were no loose ends that could come back and bite her. The two started talking again, and he was the closest thing she had to family. Well, we all are now. Nova may not have anticipated being taken into the fold, but if there’s one thing about the Black Roses, it’s that we take care of our own. Cooper was ours. Therefore, by extension, so is his sister.

“You’re the only family she has left. I’m not big on the tradition of asking permission, but I thought I should at least let you know,” Cillian says.

Cash’s lips tip up in a small grin. “What if I would have said over my dead body ?”

“Like I said, I wasn’t going to ask permission. Do you honestly think she would have let you tell me no?”

“I don’t think Nova has ever let anyone tell her what to do a day in her life.” Cash laughs and slaps Cillian on the back. “Good luck if you ever try.”

“Trust me, I’m well aware of my woman’s stubborn streak.”

“You haven’t even begun to understand a stubborn streak until you’ve lived with a young woman in the midst of her teenage rebellion years,” Jude says as he and Linc walk over.

“I’m assuming you aren’t talking about Lucy?” I ask.

“Jesus, I wish. At least I know how to handle her. Her sister, on the other hand? Haven’t the faintest, except to stay as far away from it as I can.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Ozzy says.

“I’m one door slam from taking the damn thing off the hinges,” Jude grumbles.

“She’s gone through a lot in her short life. I think she deserves a little patience, dickhead,” Cash says.

“Fuck off, arsehole. Me and Lucy have been nothing but. Something’s gotta give, and I’m afraid it may be my sanity before long.”

“I’ll see if my mom can rope her into some volunteer work. She has a way of getting people to open up and talk about their shit,” Linc offers.

“I’m more than happy to give it a try. Little Bit needs something to occupy her time,” Jude says, using the nickname that Liam, Jude’s brother, coined for her the first time they met.

My eyes stay on Cash, and I think about his reaction to what he perceives as Jude saying anything remotely critical of Cece. Lately, it seems he’s been at her beck and call. Jude doesn’t seem particularly concerned with the idea that our treasurer may be taking a more than brotherly interest in her, but it has alarm bells ringing in my head.

Before I have a chance to think any more on the subject, Ozzy says, “Alright. Let's get the bikes loaded in the back so you guys can hit the road.”

Cash and I cover the hidden panels and walk over to our bikes parked in the gravel lot. We’ll be putting them in the back and driving. None of us have ever been stopped by law enforcement on one of these runs. When traveling, we keep it at the speed limit and tend to take as many back roads as possible so as not to attract attention on the open highway where we can. But we always make sure to have some sort of cover story in case local cops see a bunch of bikes with a van and get a hair up their ass. Plus, it never hurts to have the van when we make trips, just in case something happens with one of the bikes.

Once we have everything loaded, we head back into the clubhouse, and I head to my room to pack a bag so we can get the hell out of here. I throw a couple changes of jeans that I keep here in a bag and start digging around in my closet for a few warmer shirts. I think back to the night I gave Mia a ride home on my bike, seeing her in my sweatshirt. Fuck, she looked good. And now that I think about it, she still has that sweatshirt. For all I know, it’s balled up in the back of her closet—and now I’m thinking about her bedroom and how honored I’d be if she let me see it firsthand.

A knock sounds at my door, and Braxton peaks his head in. “Ready?”

I zip up my bag and haul it over my shoulder. “Let’s go.”

It takes twelve hours to get to the Iron Disciples clubhouse outside of Detroit. And I was stuck in this fucking van the entire time with Cash skipping through every damn radio station on the drive. When he was bored with that, he connected his phone and started skipping through those songs. Drove me up the fucking wall. He’s lucky he’s one of my brothers. Had it been anyone else, I would have tossed the phone out the window, then threatened the asshole with a myriad of creative ways I would torture him if he touched the damn radio again.

I may be slightly irritated, but fuck, riding in a cage for twelve hours will do that to a man. I don’t care what I have to promise; someone else is riding back to Shine in the van with Cash. Ozzy will have my head if we’re short a treasurer when we get home.

Jude, Braxton, and Linc climb off their bikes slowly, bodies aching from so many hours riding. Strange as it may seem to any rational person, I envy every stiff muscle they’re stretching out. Long rides have a way of centering me, and I could use that right about now. When Linc was locked up, I would make the ride to the prison he was in states away every couple of months. It was a two-day ride there and back for a few hours with my brother, but there was no way in hell I was going to leave him to rot for six years. The Iron Disciples were always happy to have me spend the night when I made the trip.

“Knox,” a voice calls from the door of the clubhouse. I turn to see Silas, the Iron Disciples president, walking toward us, holding out his hand.

“Silas, good to see you.”

We met the president before he held the title years ago at a meet in Kentucky. Someone had pissed off Ozzy for who knows what. He had a bit of a temper for a few years after we joined the club. The guy swung, Ozzy ducked, and the asshole hit Silas. Without missing a beat, Silas punched the other guy in the face, and it was utter mayhem in that little bar until the bartender pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and blew a hole in the roof. Probably less damage than what was being torn apart in the bar. The local assholes who didn’t appreciate having bikers in their town ran off, and we went to another bar down the road and nursed our split lips and bruised ribs over beers and shots of whiskey. Been friends ever since, but this is the first time we’ve facilitated any sort of business between their club and the Irish. Truth be told, if it wasn’t for Finn expanding his gun business, we wouldn’t have brought this to them. At least Finn was smarter this time around and chose to do business with a club we already have a relationship with.

“Got rooms set up for you guys,” Silas says after saying hello to the others with me. “And Amber’s been looking forward to your visit.” Silas directs the last bit of information toward me.

“I’m pretty fucking wiped after the drive, but I could go for a beer,” I say.

Amber is a nice girl, and we’ve had our fun together the times I’ve been here for a night or two when I would come visit Linc, but I’m not interested in having a roll in the sheets with my old hookup. Not when the only woman who’s been running through my mind these last few weeks has been a cute-as-hell librarian who makes a mean tart.

“We have plenty of that, brother.” Silas waves his hand, and we follow him inside.

His clubhouse is similar to ours. Concrete floor, pool table, but no dart boards, which Jude has harassed him about nearly every time we’ve been here. A bar that’s well stocked, though it doesn’t have quite as much Irish whiskey as ours, but if all goes well, that will change sooner rather than later.

A few of the guys who have been members since we met all those years ago come over to say hello.

“Jude, it’s been a fucking minute. Heard you got yourself shacked up these days with a hot little thing with a penchant for firearms,” Vaughn says, giving the Englishman a back-slapping hug.

“And couldn’t be happier about it,” Jude replies. He used to make the trips out here with me when I’d ride through on my way to visit Linc.

“Why don’t you bring her around? Afraid she’ll take one look at me and leave your sorry ass?” Vaughn asks.

Jude shakes his head and grins. “I’m afraid you’ll say something stupid, and she’ll shoot you. But if you want to take the risk, I’ll be more than happy to bring her next time we’re in town.”

Vaughn lets out a boisterous laugh and grabs Jude around the shoulders. “I’ve missed you, asshole. Let’s get a drink.”

Vaughn, Jude, and Linc head over to the bar, followed by me and Silas. Before we have our beers in hand, an arm wraps around my middle. I look down to see fingernails painted bright red. A woman with bleached-blonde hair—that was a different color last time I was here—looks up at me with what I’m sure is supposed to be a sultry smile on her bright-pink lips.

“Hey, Knox. Good to see you,” Amber says, her finger traveling dangerously close to my belt buckle.

Carefully untangling myself from her touch while trying to make it look as natural as possible is no small feat. Amber’s a nice girl, and if the guys see that I’m not interested, it will raise the kinds of questions I don’t have the answers to right now. But having Amber’s hands on me is uncomfortable and feels wrong.

“Hey, Amber. How’ve you been?”

She looks slightly confused at my action, but like a good club bunny, she doesn’t question or get upset by my clear disinterest.

“Good. I was happy to hear you were going to be in town. Was hoping we could catch up.”

She looks at me with a coy smile that tells me her version of catching up is naked in a bed. Can’t blame the girl for giving it one last shot.

“It’s been a long drive. I’m pretty tired. Think I’ll be heading to bed here in a minute. Alone.” I don’t want to be a dick, but I want it perfectly clear that I’m not interested in having her there with me.

She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Got it. Have a good night, then.” She turns and heads toward a group of a couple other bunnies and a few brothers hanging out around the old pool table.

When I sit down at the bar, Cash casts his scrutinizing gaze in my direction.

“What?” I ask, nodding in thanks toward the prospect when he hands me my beer.

“What was that?” Cash asks, tilting his head toward Amber and the other group.

“Not sure what you mean.” I know exactly what he means, but like hell I’m going to talk about what—or rather who—has been playing through my head.

Cash nods a few times before turning and resting his forearm on the bar, then he picks up his bottle and brings it to his smirking lips. “Whatever you say, brother.”

Jude and Linc walk over with Vaughn behind them.

“Fancy a game of pool?” Jude asks me. Since the night of my party, he has been relentless in trying to get me to play again. Hell, before that night at my party, it had been a long-ass time since I'd picked up a pool stick. Which brings my thoughts back to the woman I was playing with.

Through the years of Jude being a brother, we’ve played a few times, but life got busy, and I moved into my own place, so the nights of staying up until sunrise, drinking, and shooting the shit with my brothers are few and far between. When Linc was in prison, I spent a lot of time at my mom and Trick’s place, helping with various projects or just enjoying a home-cooked meal. She told me it helped having me around, seeing that one of her boys was safe and sound. My mom knew the dangers of this life, and she accepted them long before Linc and I were in the club, but that didn’t mean she didn’t worry. If I could ease that by spending more time with her while Linc was locked up, I was happy to do it.

“Nah, I’m going to hit the sack. Being stuck in a van with this fucker”—I point my thumb at Cash—“was exhausting.”

“Fuck you, dick.” Cash rolls his eyes.

“No thanks.” I give him a wide smile which he returns by raising his middle finger in my direction.

When I stand from the bar, my hand clamps down on Linc’s shoulder. Being here with him when I spent so much time at this clubhouse without him is bringing up emotions that I spent years keeping under lock and key.

“We’re leaving early. Make sure you get your beauty sleep. Oh, and you’re riding with Cash on the way back,” I inform my brother.

Linc laughs and nods, not particularly upset that he won’t be riding back to Shine. He knows me well enough to know I hate being stuck in a cage and was probably expecting the driving arrangements to change. “Ok, brother.”

“Silas,” I call, turning toward the president, who’s sitting a couple seats down with a bunny attached to his side. “Same room?”

The man jerks his head toward the hallway. “You know the way. See you in the morning.”

I walk into one of the rooms the club leaves empty for guests who travel through and need a place to crash. I toe off my boots, strip out of my jeans, and rip my shirt over my head before falling into the queen bed. Grabbing my phone, I set my alarm, then open the photos. My mom sent a few pictures from my birthday party the other day. I pull up the one with Mia’s face, mid-laugh as she sits with Maizie and Colby. Fuck, she looks good with that smile. It’s rare that I see it from her in person, but my mom caught the perfect shot—and I’ve spent more time staring at it than any reasonably sane man should.

Originally, we were going to take two days getting back to give our bodies a break from the long ride, but I changed the plan at the last minute, which was fine with Jude and Linc. They have women to get back to. I, on the other hand, don’t, but I’m also done lying to myself and pretending I don’t wish I did. Being here is making me remember all the reasons this life can be painful for the people we love. Our freedom—shit, our lives—could be taken at any moment. I could run from this feeling I have every time I look at this picture or imagine Mia on the back of my bike like I’ve been doing since the night I gave her a ride home. I could ignore the tightness in my chest when I think about her finding a nice, respectable man to settle down with, watching her give him the smiles that should be mine. And maybe I should. No, I definitely should, but doing what I think is right and what I want are two completely different things.

I close the photo and set the phone back on the nightstand before turning off the light and rolling to my back with my hands behind my head.

I’m done. Done denying myself what I really want and think I can’t have. Done letting my past of never thinking I was good enough for someone like Mia dictate my life from here on out. I want to get back to Shine and prove I’m the exact kind of man who is worthy of the little librarian, and I’m done letting the bullshit in my head stop me from going after what I want.

My alarm goes off at seven in the morning. I have no idea what time everyone else went to bed, but I’m ready to hit the road. When I walk out into the main area of the clubhouse, it’s quiet. Heading into the kitchen, I go about making myself a pot of coffee when Cash strolls in, showered and looking ready to get on the road.

“Morning,” I say, leaning against the counter as he opens the fridge, probably hoping for at least a loaf of bread or something to put in his stomach.

“Gotta say I appreciate the hospitality here, but the lack of food is mildly concerning. What the fuck do these guys eat?” he asks, closing the refrigerator door.

“Yeah, they don’t have anyone who makes sure to keep the refrigerator stocked and shit like we do. Not every club has a Tanya who likes to make sure her boys are fed.” I nod over to the pizza box, and Cash lifts the lid, revealing a couple slices of what I’m pretty sure are at least a day old.

He curls his lip and looks at me. “Let’s go get some breakfast. By the time we’re back, the other three should be up. I’ll even be nice and bring something back for them.”

My eyes shift to the coffeepot—which is almost done brewing—and my stomach rumbles. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

We head into town and park the van on the side of the street. There's a little coffee shop next to a small mom-and-pop jewelry store. I smile at the older woman turning her closed sign to open , and my gaze falls to a pair of earrings in the window. They have a red center stone nestled in a silver design that’s similar to the necklace that Mia is always wearing.

“Hold up,” I say and turn to go into the store.

“What are you doing?” Cash asks as we step through the door.

“What does it look like?”

The woman has moved behind the counter and smiles when we approach.

“Can I help you find something today?”

“Yeah. I saw a pair of earrings in the window that I'd like to get.”

The woman and I walk over to the display in the window, and I point to the ones I saw. When we walk back to the counter, she hands me the earrings so I can take a closer look, I guess. I’ve never bought jewelry for a woman, so I’m not exactly sure what the protocol here is. I saw them, I liked them, and I’m going to buy them.

I nod and hand them back to the woman. As she’s ringing me up, Cash seems to be chomping at the bit to ask me a million questions. Questions that I haven’t had answers to. Hell, I may not have them all now, but I’m not afraid of him or anyone else asking anymore.

When I finish paying, we walk next door to the coffee shop and order a couple cups of coffee and a couple breakfast sandwiches for us to eat here, then a few more to bring back to the clubhouse with us.

Cash has been silent about the seemingly odd excursion we went on, but that changes as soon as we sit at the table with our coffee.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Drinking coffee,” I say, taking a sip from my cup and wincing a bit when the hot liquid burns my tongue.

“You know what the fuck I’m talking about. You’ve been a moody fuck and more in your head than usual. Last night, you brushed that bunny off, then went to bed, and this morning you're buying jewelry. Last I checked, you don’t have your ears pierced and these aren’t exactly your style,” he says, pointing to the small bag sitting on the table.

“Wow, I didn’t realize you paid such close attention. I don’t know whether I should be touched or scared that you're falling in love with me.”

“Fuck off. And don’t try to change the subject. Who are the earrings for, Knox?”

“Mia,” I answer simply.

Cash sits back and blows out a breath. “You sure that’s wise? She’s not exactly old lady material.”

My spine stiffens with his remark. “And Cece is?”

Cash’s eyes go wide, surprised that he’s being called out, before he quickly tempers his features. “What does she have to do with anything? We’re talking about you.”

“Yeah, and I don’t like where the conversation is going. Freya isn’t someone who you would call ‘old lady material,’ but she and Ozzy make it work just fine. Are you saying Mia’s too good for me? Because you’d be right, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m interested.”

“The girl barely talks to you. How could you possibly be interested?”

“The girl’s name is Mia ,” I say, giving Cash a stern look. “And I’ve known her for a long time. I don’t know, there’s something about her. Like when I see her laughing or smiling, I want to know what it would feel like to be the one she turns to with that smile. She’s good and sweet. I could use a little sweetness in my life.”

“She’s also friends with Lucy and Charlie. Are you sure you want to risk pissing that one off?” he asks, and we both know he isn’t referring to Charlie.

“I could ask you the same thing. You’re the one who’s at her sister’s beck and call.”

His gaze travels to a spot on the wall over my head as he considers his answer. “Cece needs someone on her side who she doesn’t have to hide her feelings from.”

“Is she hiding them from Lucy?”

Cash works his jaw back and forth before he responds. “Look, I’m not going to talk about what she confides in me.”

“I didn’t realize you were her big brother or something.”

“I’m just a person she feels comfortable around who isn’t always trying to get her to talk about her past. That’s all,” he says.

Now it’s my turn to shoot him a skeptical look. “That’s all?”

“Yup,” he replies. “Unlike you with your fucking interrogation.”

“That’s rich, considering how this conversation started.” I take a sip of the coffee that’s cooled down from the molten lava level of heat it was a few minutes ago. “Be careful there, brother. I don’t want to see either of you get into something you don’t know how to get out of. And I sure don't want to have to clean the brain matter if you hurt Lucy’s sister. I don’t think even Jude would have your back with that one.”

“I can say the same to you.”

We’re silent for a few minutes, each of us in our own heads, considering what the other said.

“Enough of this feelings bullshit. Let’s get back to the clubhouse and get on the road. If we’re driving all fucking day, I’d like to get to it,” Cash says.

Grabbing the extra sandwiches and the coffee, we step out into the bright Michigan morning. Cash is right to an extent; Mia isn’t a typical old lady. And that’s one of the reasons I want her and think she’s too good for me at the same time.

It’s about time to find out if she feels the same.