Page 17 of Knot Our Mistake (Knot Ours #1)

CHAPTER

SEVENTEEN

SOPHIA

I snuggled close to the clothing I had borrowed from the boys, the clothing that never made it to the washer because I kept them instead.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't part with the pieces of them that made me feel so at ease when I closed my eyes.

Instead, I stealthily snuck into their room and collected more.

Adding to my nest so that it was so comfortable with their blankets and clothing that I never wanted to leave.

When I heard the rest of the house start to stir, I forced myself to rise.

A feat that had become more challenging as the days went by.

I just wanted to stay in my cocoon of comfort and never leave.

I reached for the door handle, right as a sharp pain ran through my stomach.

I hunched over, hissing, but as quick as it came, it was gone.

With a deep breath, I opened the door and walked out, almost slamming into the three men. It was James who spoke first, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

His eyes were warm with concern, "You sure? It sounded like you were in pain."

"It was nothing."

Except the glances all three of them exchanged spoke of how little they believed me. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure," I promised as I brushed past them, leading the way down the hall.

"Are y'all ready to work?" Leo asked, looking well rested. It wasn't every day we got a midday nap, but it was Sunday, and we did brunch, so we decided to take it easy. It was needed. These men worked too hard and put in long hours, and I'm thankful that they got some rest.

"Omega," James's deep voice made me jump from where he was following from behind me.

"Yes, alpha." My gaze instantly lowered, wondering what it was I had done wrong.

The last few days he'd been acting different, kinder, more willing to interact with me, but I didn't want to push my luck, didn't want to get my hopes up that the alpha had changed his mind when he'd made it so clear he was willing to send me away at any moment.

"You're working with me today."

"I- I am?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "I need help with the feedings, and Leo and Bran need to check the fence lines for breaches."

I didn't know what to say. He'd never asked me for help before.

Hell, none of them had, only offered to let me tag along if I wished.

And I always wished. I loved spending time with them.

Loved Bran's easy-going nature and Leo's drive to always need to fill the silence with words, speaking nonstop.

And I genuinely loved the farm; it reminded me of my childhood and my family, and I wished to never leave.

"I can help with feedings," I offered, sounding ridiculous stating the obvious.

"I know," he smirked, and it was infuriatingly cute. "That's why I asked. You're better suited to feed animals than mend fences."

I could mend fences, though I didn't say that. I wanted to spend time with him, wanted to know our alpha. "Sounds perfect then."

"Perfect indeed." He leaned against the wall as he slid on his boots. I did the same to my own. The well-worn boots had followed me from my childhood home, and I never once realized I'd need them again. "Do you want to change first?"

I froze with a boot half on, "Excuse me?"

"I just thought because... well... your jeans look expensive, and feeding could ruin them."

"They are," I confirmed with a shrug before putting on the boot fully. "I don't mind ruining them. They're just jeans."

"If you're sure..."

"Alpha," I sighed, keeping my gaze low, but as soon as I did, his finger went to my chin, forcing my eyes up. "I have no use for fancy jeans. For fancy clothes. For heels. I never wanted these things. It was all gifts from my former alpha."

A darkness crept into his gaze, and I swore I heard him mumble, I should burn them . But instead, he nodded his understanding. "Then by all means, let's get dirty."

An hour later, dirty was an understatement.

Clouds moved in rapidly. The sky changed, and with it so did the animals' demeanor.

It had begun to drizzle, and though it didn't rain too hard, the mud it created made for a giant mess.

And through it all, James didn't look phased.

In fact, the spatter of mud on his clothing and the line of dirt on his cheek only seemed to add to the appeal.

Mine. Ours. Take him. Claim him.

With each passing moment spent with the alpha, my omega's insistence on ownership grew, along with that pain and ache in my abdomen. I wasn't planning to mention it though. It was probably just a pulled muscle, not uncommon out here with all the manual labor.

"Thanks for helping this evening. I doubt I'd ever gotten it done on my own."

I startled at the sound of the normally quiet alpha's voice. I knew that he could do this on his own. Hell, he does it nearly daily on his own. Still, I appreciated the effort he put forth to make me feel needed. "I liked helping. Especially when it comes to those cute little goats."

"They've taken a liking to you." His steel eyes were bright and mesmerizing against his grime-covered face.

I reached up, brushing some of the dirt the animals had kicked up off his face, before wiping my dirty hands on my jeans. "I'll admit, I might have been sneaking them table scraps for the last few weeks."

"Oh?" Where I thought he might be angry at me, he wasn't. Instead, he flipped his pant pockets inside out, letting tiny carrot pieces fall free.

"The plot thickens," I fake gasped.

"It does. I always like to have treats on hand for when those ol' gals are feeling feisty." He pointed to the chickens in the pen.

I looked at the chaotic chickens, who ran around like they were melting at the first hint of rain instead of seeking the readily available shelter. "Well, those ol' gals are always feisty."

He rubbed his shin where he got pecked earlier while we collected eggs. "Truer words have never been spoken."

We entered the barn where he hung up his feed bucket and sealed off the food containers.

Then he reached into a plastic tub and removed a few cups of cat food before tossing it toward the cats under the farm equipment.

I smiled to myself, loving that he secretly had a soft spot for these cats, even though he initially claimed to dislike the one that I had brought inside.

After the barn was in order and all animals fed, he locked the door before we began the walk back to the house. Raindrops, though light, still hit against our skin, and I enjoyed watching them as they trailed a line down his cheeks.

"Can we talk, omega?"

I stumbled; his hand shot out to catch me. He had caught me off guard, but I'd never deny a request from my alpha. "Yes, alpha."

His head turned to me, the liquid pools of his eyes becoming darker for a moment before he cleared his throat. "Your scent is becoming nearly unbearable."

I paused, before stepping to the side, putting distance between us. I was mortified. Embarrassed that my scent smelled so awful to him when this whole time I thought he smelled so damn good that all I wanted to do was curl up with his clothing and close my eyes in comfort.

He reached out and grabbed my arm before I could move further. "That isn't bad, little omega. Your scent is intoxicating, and without the suppressant, it's growing stronger each day. And I think, well..." he was looking uncomfortable. "I think that soon it will come."

"If you're referring to my heat, I think I have a few weeks, maybe months still," I explained. I'd never had my heat before, but I'd know if it was coming, surely.

"You don't." He stopped next to me in the rain, his gaze intense, and given the subject, I should be squirming.

I knew it was our nature, and uncontrollable, but the heat was still part of my body, still made me vulnerable.

"I want to know, no..." He shook his head as he tried to correct himself.

"I need to know if you'll stay. We don't have anything to offer you, omega.

We aren't rich, but we get by. We'll never have all the things that you deserve, no matter how much I wish we did.

But despite that, even knowing I shouldn't and it's unfair, my alpha longs to keep you. "

I tilted my head to the side. "And you?"

He swallowed hard. "I am struggling."

His honesty hurt. He didn't want me, not like his alpha did. I looked down. "I'm sorry, alpha."

He pushed my gaze back up. "I am struggling because I want you when I shouldn't. Is it a crime, omega? Is it a crime to have you when I so clearly don't deserve you?"

He looked so sad, broken, when he spoke that I couldn't help but step closer. I let my fingers toy with the wet hem of his flannel shirt, but I dared not look at him when I spoke. "I don't know you, alpha."

"That's my fault."

"I know Leo's favorite color, and Bran's favorite food. I know Leo hates going to town but does it because neither Bran nor you are the greatest with people. Bran isn't a fan of the thunderstorms, but Leo could stand in the rain for hours and be happy."

His hands touched mine where I was toying with his shirt, halting my movements.

"I know. It's unfair of me to ask you to stay, but they've already grown attached, and I'd do anything for them.

Anything they asked. No vote because I know that if you leave, if you aren't here anymore.

.." He swallowed hard. "Losing our beta hurt them, but losing you, omega, might shatter them. "

"Them," I sighed. I cared about them, I truly did. But at this moment, they weren't my concern. "And what about you? Who worries about how you feel and what you think?"

"I do."

His fingers were so warm where they encased my hand that I was finding it hard to think. "That's unfair."

"I'm the alpha."

"No excuse," I bit my lip. "What is it you want, alpha? I can leave, blame it on my own wants, my own needs, if it helps. They won't hate you for it, won't know you sent me away."

But I'd know, and as much as I wanted him to have a choice, I wanted the choice to be me.

I'd hate him for sending me away. Despise him from the depths of my soul for giving me a place I felt at home in, only to tear it away.

From giving me people and a family that could be mine, only for me to walk away and hurt them.

He took a deep breath, exhaling it shakily. "I want you to stay."

"Truly?"

"Yes," he huffed, "Truly, omega."

I couldn't help the smile that broke free; I was nearly bouncing on my toes, unable to contain my excitement, until finally, I caved, and bounced up, wrapping my arms around the alpha's neck before I kissed him.

His body was stiff against mine at first, but soon his hands wrapped around my back, and his lips, the pillowy soft lips I'd dreamt about, moved against mine.

It wasn't a long kiss, the moment interrupted by a catcall whistle from the porch, but it still was everything I wanted, needed, and didn't realize I'd been missing.

Ours , my omega purred. Ours , I agreed.

"Are you two going to stay out in the rain forever?" Leo called from the porch.

"They didn't even realize it was raining with all the making out they were doing," Bran chimed in.

My face heated from embarrassment, but before I could say anything, the alpha only held tighter while he yelled back, "Jealous?"

"Hell yeah!" Leo laughed, before they both turned and went inside.

I turned, ready to go back to the house, but the alpha's hand stopped me on my arm. When I looked back, he looked nervous. "One more thing."

"Yes, alpha?"

Every time I spoke that word, I swear something pooled in his eyes. Want. Longing. Desire. He liked being in command, that was sure. And I was willing for him to control me any way that pleased him.

"When your heat hits..." He swallowed so hard that his Adam's apple bobbed. "When it comes, and it is coming soon, I promise you that. How would you like us to proceed?"

"I-I don't know," I'd never had a heat before.

I didn't really know what it entailed past what the Omega Institute had taught us.

The way they taught us about the subject was fearful, but I couldn't imagine these men hurting me.

"The Omega Institute taught that we don't have a choice.

As an omega, we take what the alpha offers. "

His face pulled in disgust. "Well, omega. I'm giving you a choice. We can take care of you, without giving you my knot, or we can proceed naturally and see if you catch."

Yes. Mine.

My omega purred in pleasure at the thought of his knot.

The hussy had no shame. But me, the thought of taking his knot terrified me.

But the thought of catching and carrying his child, well.

.. my stomach warmed at the image. Plus, I may not know much about the process, but I did know that an alpha who doesn't knot his omega in her heat feels just as much physical pain as she does.

Take his knot. Take his pleasure.

I ignored my omega's chants. "Is- do... do you want children, alpha?"

He's grouchy on a good day. Damn right surly on others. But I watched the way he treated animals, cuddling with my kitten when he thought no one was watching, and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to replace that image with a child, but I'd never force him into it.

He leaned in, his forehead touching mine, "Omega, children are a blessing. We've longed for the sound of little feet in our farmhouse, but we'll not pressure you. We've got time. A lifetime."

I pushed past the fear as I spoke again. "When the time comes, I'll take your knot, alpha."

He growled before slamming his mouth to mine, giving me only a moment to enjoy the contact before a clap of thunder rumbled the sky and rain poured down onto us.