Page 12 of Knot Our Mistake (Knot Ours #1)
CHAPTER
TWELVE
brAN
We were covered in mud and grime. Dirt was caked in places I dared not think about. And my hair? I was positive it was permanently stuck standing from all the sweat that soaked into it. But, we were done. We finished mending the fence, even if it did take nearly the whole damn day.
I wanted to get back to the house, though James naturally didn't seem to be in a hurry.
The faster I tried to move things along, the slower the big guy seemed to move.
He had no fucking care in the world. Meanwhile, my mind was going crazy wishing to be close to the omega.
I knew he felt it too; I could tell she was weighing on him by the angry tilt of his brow.
He wanted to go home, he wanted to see her, and he hated that he did.
"Today's Sophia's first day without her suppressant."
"I know," he growled out, his muscles straining as he yanked on a rope in the back of the truck.
"It will be fine," I assured him, though I didn't know if it would be. In fact, I didn't know how we were going to resist temptation when already she had smelled so divine my mouth watered.
"Who are you reassuring, beta, yourself or me?" He huffed out a breath of air as he lifted the weight of wood into the truck bed.
I followed his lead, taking planks and tossing them into the truck. "Both?"
He turned his head enough to glare at me, "You're not funny, beta."
"I'm not trying to be." I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I tried to center how I felt. "I have to believe that either way, it will be fine. Her heat can be weeks away."
"It could be tomorrow depending on how long she's tried to suppress it."
"That's true," I swallowed hard at the thought of the possibilities. "But I doubt that would be the case."
"I'm furious," the alpha opened and closed his fist.
"I know."
"How dare Leo do this to me. To us." He almost seemed broken when he looked up and asked, "Were we not enough? Was the family we created here on our little slice of this world not enough to make Leo happy?"
Did he truly think that was it? That Leo wasn't satisfied with the life we built together? That we didn't make him happy? He was crazy to let that thought cross his mind because no one loved us more than Leo had, and no one ever would, I suspected.
"You know that's not it," I huffed against the weight I was carrying. "Leo just has room in his heart for more to love, and that's not displacing you."
"We don't need her here. If we needed an omega, I would have gotten an omega."
This again. "I know you would have, if you could.
But the fact is, there was always something breaking, always a vet bill, always a reason you didn't want to bring an omega into our home, and so our mothers did it for you.
And fuck, James. Is it so bad? She fits in perfectly, but you wouldn't know since you're too busy pretending like she doesn't exist. How can she already feel like ours, when you deny her at every damn turn? But she does. She feels like ours, she smells like ours, and I bet if you just let go and accept, You would realize it, too.”
"But she isn't ours," he roared.
"She is. Denial isn't going to change that fact. You're too afraid to get hurt, and I get it. Our last female we let into our lives broke us. But fuck, James. What if you don't get hurt? What if that omega is the one you've been searching for all along and you are fucking it up."
"Don't lecture me on how I feel, beta. It's above your status." I bit back a smirk, knowing I must have hit something sensitive if he was mentioning his superiority.
I licked my lips. "What are you planning to do if she goes into heat?"
"I don't know."
"Maybe you should figure it out. Have you talked to her, asked her what she wanted?"
I knew the answer, so I wasn't shocked when he grumbled, "No."
"So what? We're winging it? Tying you up to stay away when her scent becomes too much to fight the call ?" Okay, that might have been a tad bit on the dramatic side, but he wasn't thinking clearly enough to figure this shit out ahead of time.
"I can hold back. No omega can simply control an alpha. An alpha controls an omega. That's how it goes, that's the rules of the life we live." I could laugh if he didn't look so serious. Did he really think an omega didn't have control over us?
"We could have a family," I pointed out.
"We. Are. A. Family," he roared, and I stepped back, the nature of my beta taking over as the alpha directed his anger at me. I bowed my head, trying not to shake.
"You're right. We are."
"I don't need an omega," he roared again. "I've got the only family I need. The only family I want."
Except even I knew that was a lie. There was a time long before a beta broke his heart where James wanted it all. A family. A house. Kids. We had the family. We had a home. Now all we needed were the kids he so desperately had craved, and everything would be complete.
I nodded once at him. "Okay."
"Okay," he agreed, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the omega had him wrapped around her finger, like she so easily had done with Leo and me.
"The sky is clouding up. We should head out before the storm hits." He effortlessly changed the subject. At this point, I was covered in so much mud that the rain could only aid me instead of hinder me, but I didn't speak a word of that, knowing he wanted to drop the subject of the omega.
I climbed into the passenger seat, ignoring how the vinyl squeaked against my damp clothing.
He followed a minute later, his face drawn in annoyance as he cranked the key in the ignition and backed the truck out from its spot between two trees.
The ride home was silent, and I was thankful for that because I was afraid that if given the chance to speak, I'd probably blurt out what a coward I thought he was being, and I knew that wouldn't have gone over well.
He parked on the side of the house, not saying a single word as he got out and slammed the door. I didn't need coddling. I was a man after all. But I hated when he stewed in silence, acting with anger instead of taking the time to understand what others wanted besides himself.
I followed him up the steps to the kitchen. Him taking two at a time, me slowly following, not bothering to skip a step because I wasn't in a hurry to spend more time with him while he brooded. He opened the door and stopped, causing me to nearly fall backwards as I ran into his broad back.
I peeked around him, seeing what got him frozen in place. "The omega has cleaned."
"I've never seen this kitchen so spotless," he gasped, as if a clean kitchen was reason to struggle to breathe.
"She got bored being home alone. Usually she helps out Leo and me." I pointed out as I pushed past him, suddenly feeling weak by the wall of cherry and lime that engulfed me. I kept going, acting like her scent didn't make my knees want to buckle with how intense it had suddenly grown.
She wasn't in heat, that I was sure. But without the suppressants, it amplified everything, and in this moment, I could see how a single omega could drive a unit of men mad with want.
Hell, I was ready to fall to my knees and give her anything just to keep the delicious lingering scent that is uniquely hers around.
"I- We need to get that suppressant," he paused as he inhaled. "Fast."
"Leo was working on it," I reminded him.
"Not fast enough."
"What do you want him to do, Alpha? Make it himself?"
"Bran," he warned, and I knew I was out of line. But everything about James was rubbing me wrong today, and I couldn't help but let my displeasure slip out. He gritted his teeth as he walked through the house. "The whole place is absolutely spotless. Where is the little omega?"
"I don't know." I looked around, stopping to listen for our girl but only came up with the sound of the washing machine, swishing away as the dryer tumbled a load dry.
James led the way down the hall, opening doors as he went, but we didn't see her. Our home wasn't big, but it was perfect for us. There weren't many places she could hide, unless...
"Did you check our room?"
"She's forbidden from going inside there," he reminded me. "It's an embarrassing mess which we need to really make time for."
"Forbidden or not, did you check?"
"Did you see me check?" He shot back, clearly still as grumpy as he was earlier.
"No," I sighed, before stepping past him and turning the knob.
The moment I pushed open the door, I knew things had changed.
It wasn't just her sweet and tart scent that drove me mad as it slammed into me that alerted me to our omega was not following orders.
It was the fact that nothing obstructed the door from opening.
Nothing was on the floor. The dresser, which normally was cluttered, was now neat and tidy, and I could only guess that if I entered the master bathroom, that too would be spotless.
And there, lying in the center of our bed, fast asleep with her orange kitten at her side, was our omega looking so damn perfect and innocent curled up on our bed.
I thought the mere sight of the omega in our space, on our sleeping pallet, would send our alpha into a fit of rage.
He resisted her so much, denied her very existence when it came to our unit, and now.
.. he looked upon her with such fondness, I didn't know what to think.
Why did he fight so hard against what he clearly wanted?
He turned to me, his voice soft when he spoke. "The omega cleaned until she passed out."
"Do you blame her? She'd worked hard in this place."
He put his hands on his hips, watching her. A million emotions crossed his face before a scowl finally appeared again. "She shouldn't have cleaned in here. It was our mess to take care of."
I wanted to ask him when? When would we have done it if we hadn't already? When would we have found time for doing all that laundry when there were always cattle hungry, vegetables to pick, fields to attend? We could say we'd do it, and maybe we would, but when?
"She did it of her own will," I reminded him.
He dropped his hands from his hips, letting them dangle at his side. "Let her sleep and we'll shower. We'll wake her after."
He didn't wait for a response; instead, he turned, storming into the adjacent bathroom, leaving me to follow.