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Renee cried until there wasn’t anything left and then lain on the bathroom floor even longer. Months ago, her heart had stopped. She was dead, but not the way her body already was. It was worse because even the death of her brother hadn’t destroyed her like that revelation had. Tore out the only part of her that was worth a damn and made it useless.

Iris’ words crept into her mind. They found people often and never, ever left survivors. Sometimes they’d eat until there was nothing but bones. That group is more dangerous because they aren’t just zombies, not like the others. They have an intelligence about them.

Renee had tried to go back and get her brother’s body so she could bury it, except there was nothing left - only bones.

Bones. Just like Iris said. Just like she’d witnessed herself while traveling with them.

Perhaps it wasn’t Zane’s fault her brother died, but his horde had devoured him, taking away her opportunity for closure. And she’d slept with him. Idiot. The worst part was, even understanding that didn’t take away her agony. It didn’t remove the hole in her chest from her ripped-out heart because she had cared. Crap, maybe she still did, which made her the absolute worst person and sister ever.

“Renny, please don’t die. Don’t leave me with those assholes,” the voice of a ghost whispered in the silent bathroom.

Renee snapped her eyes shut. Damn it Liam. She bit her lip. She couldn’t handle a conversation with her brother. Balling up her fists and trying to ignore his nudges, she needed to get up and keep fighting. She’d promised him she wouldn’t give up, that she would survive for him. Keep fighting until her dying breath. The problem was, she was already dead – another failure.

I’m sorry, Liam.

She knew Liam was not mad at her. He was probably happy she had a friend and people, even if those people were undead. Hell, he probably wouldn’t have judged her for loving Zane, either. She laughed as tears rolled down her cheeks. He should have lived, not her. Granted, she wasn’t really living.

“I told you, princess, it was my job to protect you. It’s okay. Let me go.”

Renee sobbed until she dry-heaved. It’d been so long since she let herself remember her brother’s last moments. The misery of losing him was still fresh. He’d been gone for years, and it didn’t make any difference. Every time she was reminded of him, it was like the hole that had been left inside her from his absence grew, devouring more of who she was. She hit her head against the tiles.

Frustrated with everything but mostly herself, she clamored off the floor and stumbled out of the bathroom to the closet she had found earlier. She picked through the closet and dressers and got dressed, tucking a few extra outfits in her backpack since there wasn’t any water left. Did she even need water? She sat on the bed and studied her hands. How could she not have noticed how pale they were before? Stupid, always so stupid. Her brow wrinkled. Someone used to say that to her all the time, but she couldn’t place the voice.

The door opened, and Brie peered at her. Her wan, pretty face frowned. Quiet as a mouse, she sat beside her on the bed. Embarrassed for so many actions and words with Brie, she couldn’t look at her. When Brie’s arm wrapped around her shoulders, Renee leaned into her friend. Brie was the last person she’d ever expected to be kind to her about her recent realization. She indeed was her friend.

“You don’t have to hide here. He left with a scouting group to check the other settlement nearby.”

“He left?”

“Yeah, he was pretty pissed off, too. Not sure what you two argued about, but it must’ve been intense. I haven’t seen him like that in years. It was like the old him. Before all this, I mean.” Brie adjusted her lilac print dress.

Renee’s head snapped in Brie’s direction. “You knew him before?”

“Yeah, it was a long time ago. Doesn’t matter now.”

But it mattered. It mattered so much. She knew nothing about Zane, except he was king of the undead and claimed to care about her. He hinted he knew or understood her. It wasn’t fair, but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing had been real.

“So, you know… I mean about yourself. I don’t have to pretend anymore?” Brie asked.

Renee averted her burning eyes. “Yeah. Not sure if I’m crazy or just dumb. I don’t know how I could have not realized.”

“I was wondering the same thing. But he told me if I even hinted, he’d rip my arms off. I’ve seen him deal out punishments before. No way was I going to risk it.”

Renee turned to Brie. “Are you really afraid of him?”

“Yeah, and with good reason. He’s never acted like he has since you showed up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… it’s annoying. He’s supposed to lead us, not try to… protect you? Romance you?” Brie shrugged.

“So, all these years, you’ve gone from place-to-place and...”

“Ate every living thing, yes. And now you will too.”

Renee shook her head. “I won’t. I don’t want to.”

“Doesn’t matter. You don’t have a choice. Even if he didn’t make you, you’d do it, anyway. If you wait too long, it makes you crazy and breaks down your body. Some shamblers didn’t used to be shamblers.”

Once again, it occurred to Renee how her knowledge of the undead was still lacking. “What do you mean he makes you?”

Brie narrowed her eyes and studied her before she answered. “If he orders it, you do it.”

“They follow orders,” Renee whispered, recalling Zane’s words. “Because he owns you, all of you, and you have to do what he says.”

“As fucked up as that is, yeah. You understand why you can’t run now?”

“Because he’ll always come back for me?”

Brie jerked like she’d slapped her. “He would, wouldn’t he?” she asked in a nasty tone.

Renee shrugged. “That’s what he said.”

Brie averted her eyes, but not before Renee caught the distress and the torment lurking there.

“What did I say? I don’t want you to be upset. Brie, I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t be around him, but I can’t leave.”

Brie turned to Renee. “Because you argued?”

“Yes. No. I can’t - things are complicated. If I have to stay, I just want to be part of the horde. I don’t have to talk to him to get orders, right?”

Brie narrowed her eyes again. “No. They can come through me if needed, but you really don’t want to be around him?”

“No. I already packed my bag.” Renee pointed to her bag.

“He’s going to get angrier.”

Renee jutted her chin out. “Too bad.”

Brie raised her eyebrows. “Okay. Well, let’s head downstairs. Most of the chosen are there. Now that you understand things better, you can meet them.”

“The chosen? Really?” Renee perked up at the idea of finally meeting them.

“It’s not that big of a deal. You’re chosen too.” Brie shrugged as she stood.

“I am?” Renee bolted up.

“You’re talking to me, and you can talk to him, so yeah. Plus, look at you. Barely a scratch on you.”

“Wait. I’m confused. What makes a chosen, a chosen ?”

Brie huffed and drew a deep breath. “I was never great at this stuff. A chosen, is someone who was turned intentionally. Chosen versus some random attack. You can’t be chosen unless you’re turned by another chosen or him.”

“Does he tell the chosen who to turn?”

“Yeah, mostly. The chosen don’t get hurt as easily. We’re faster and stronger.” Brie walked ahead of her, out of the room.

The quick zombies, they must all be these “chosen” Brie referred to. Zane had brought her to a decent apartment. Clean and didn’t smell of rot like a lot of the others did. A tiny part of her didn’t want to leave. Her idiotic heart was pleading with her to stay, to hear him out. Shut up, you’re dead, Renee snapped at it.

“We can talk like this but also understand the others. We’re always the leaders because we can still think and plan. We’re dead but not.” She laughed.

Renee liked the more relaxed version of Brie. Maybe she was like this because she didn’t have to lie to her anymore, which had been Zane’s fault. They descended several flights of stairs.

“The chosen don’t have to eat as much or as frequently. We’re more connected to him and can understand what he wants better than the others.” Brie turned left into a large open lobby, where many of the horde milled around.

These undead seemed more like Brie, dead but not quite. They were all dressed and had less of a disheveled appearance. They were also all engaged in conversation. It was similar to what she’d witnessed when they were deep in the horde but this had to be next level. It was almost human.

Renee glanced at Brie. No matter how much Brie downplayed her looks, she was still more beautiful than most. She always looked like a movie star to Renee, with her willowy body, long, pale, blonde hair, flowy, floral clothes, and graceful movements.

“What?” Brie asked when she caught her looking.

Renee leaned closer to whisper. “You told me they were just as pretty as you, but they aren’t.”

Brie laughed, really laughed. When she smiled, it lit up her entire face, and for a second, Renee could see past the corpse-like coloring and see what she had been.

“You’re the silliest friend I have ever had,” she told her again. “Let’s go meet the crew.”