Page 23

Propped up against a piece of wood that covered the window in the loft, she opened a book she’d found downstairs. She hadn’t really enjoyed reading anything but fantasy before the downfall, yet discovered recently she liked reading just about anything. Because of how things were, Renee didn’t have any complex preferences for the type of books she read, except that they were fiction, just not horror. She may not have learned anything practical from fiction, but it was one of the few escapes left to her.

Her previous favorites were always sweeping romances with magical creatures, but not scary ones. Beautiful ones, with fae or elves that existed in another realm. A realm that might have its own problems but had magic and beauty that Earth could never touch. Everyone in her stories wore elegant clothes in gorgeous colors and had elaborate hairdos. Even if the female characters were warriors, they were stunning like Brie, and also like Brie, usually had other talents. And there were always crucial, elaborate scenes in idyllic locations where everything was perfect, often including the female in their most luxurious clothing. Sometimes there would be parties or galas where the main male character would dance with the main female character, trying to hide his desire or occasionally flirt with her.

Her view strayed to the fantasy book Zane had gifted her, and she ran her teeth over her lip, reflecting on what the men would say to their potential mate, it reminded her of how Zane sometimes said things, like how he claimed ownership of her. He brooded a lot like the characters in her books. She shook her head to clear her mind, this wasn’t a fucking fairy tale. She shouldn’t compare him to her books, it was dangerous and would only confuse her more.

After he made her come again the other night. She finally understood what the big deal was about sex. Well, good sex. All she thought about was him returning, and it happening again and again. Zane refused to let her do anything to him, saying he only wanted to learn her body. They hadn’t even had sex, not real sex, but she couldn’t wait. It would be the best thing she ever experienced in her life.

She drank another bottle of water and tried to ignore her empty stomach. If she’d been allowed scavenge before when they were in a town, she probably would’ve found some dried goods to shove in her backpack. She’d looked in the kitchen downstairs, but it was barren.

The first guttural scream came about an hour later. Then another scream and another and another. She couldn’t keep reading after hearing that anymore. She slapped her hands over her ears. Sounds of fighting and agony surrounded the cabin. She tried to block it out, but it seemed like the melee was in the cabin with her. She hurried away from the window. Perhaps the sound was coming through the glass, so she climbed down the ladder and checked for a closet.

After searching the entire cabin, she found a utility closet with an old water heater, climbed in beside it, and covered her ears again. It muffled the sounds but didn’t block them entirely. It sounded like a pack of wild animals fighting, like vicious animals clashing until one cried out, and then there was silence. She hated it so much. Her stomach had been rumbling all this time with hunger. She was thirsty too, but wasn’t leaving the closet for any reason. Not until he returned.

The sounds got louder and louder. The volume of it all convinced her they were right outside the door. Zane really wanted his army to go through this to get rid of the weak? He was horrible. This was awful. Even worse, she’d been making out with him and wanted to do more of it. What was wrong with her? Weak. And he knew exactly what to say to her, how to touch her, and how to make her forget what he was. Who he was.

Her stomach protested and disrupted her self-degradation. Staring at the surrounding blackness, she thought about how committed she’d been to her plan. A traitor to her own kind, sitting in a closet, cowering because she didn’t want to be apart from him. Her heart squeezed, remembering his soft, full lips on hers. No. This time she wouldn’t let her heart make the choices.

“I told you, princess, it was my job to protect you. It’s okay. Let me go.”

Renee’s body shook as she tried to drive out the memory of her brother’s last words to her. How she had vowed to him not only that she would keep going, surviving for him, but also, destroy any zombie she could for taking the only person she’d ever loved. The only person who’d ever truly loved her in return.

Her fingers grabbed at her hair as she gasped for breath. She couldn’t do this. She wouldn’t survive the memory of losing him again. Liam had been everything to her, the one constant in her life. He’d always put her first. Forgave her when she was a brat. Always included and considered her thoughts and feelings, something her own parents couldn’t manage.

He’d been there for her entire recovery after she’d been attacked, stayed with her in the hospital until she was strong enough to go home. He drove her to all her doctor appointments and therapy sessions.

The day when everything fell apart, he’d raced home to protect her because he was her self-proclaimed knight commander and swore to protect her until his last breath. Renee’s breath hitched. He had kept his word. Traded his life for hers. So, she could go on. No one had ever loved her like that. No one would ever love her like that.

Liam was the kindest, most perfect person she’d ever known. He was honorable in a way people only were in books. Devoted in a way that didn’t exist anymore. Perhaps never existed. If she stayed, she wasn’t just betraying her own kind, she was betraying Liam’s memory, all the sacrifices he’d made for her.

She forced her fingers from her hair and smacked her head against the wooden wall to drive her flawless brother from her mind. With a deep breath, she let herself think, really think and remember a time before the end of the world. It hadn’t always been great, but it wasn’t a horror movie every day like it was now.

Renee opened the closet and crept out. Zane was right; that world was gone. It was in ashes now. She stood. But that didn’t mean it was over for all humans. She could keep her promise and give them all a chance against the creatures destroying what was left of the world.

Renee climbed up the loft’s ladder to retrieve her backpack, loading the last of the water into it along with her books. Light from a corner of the plywood against the window created a line on the wall. Daylight. The fighting continued. The time of day wouldn’t change anything, apparently. Her fingers traced the edge of the sheet of plywood and pulled it. The sheet of plywood easily separated from the wall. Owners probably thought they were safe in the loft and didn’t reinforce it. She tugged at it and smiled when it slipped off the window. The sun shone outside and made her feel hopeful.

Renee popped her shades on. She’d wanted to learn more, but that moment was an opportune chance to get free. Zane’s face flashed in her mind and almost made her put down her backpack as her breath hitched. But that was the exact reason she had to go. As impossible as it was, she liked him, and if she stayed, she was afraid of what it might mean.

The window opened and didn’t have a screen. It would be a tight squeeze, but she could manage. Thankfully, there was a tree close to the cabin Renee could shimmy down without falling. Her eyes flicked to the bed, and she hesitated. She’d promised. He wouldn’t trust her now. It didn’t matter, she wouldn’t see him again.

Renee climbed out the window and clambered into the tree. It was sturdy, but the branches were thin where she clung, so she moved lower until she saw it. Her eyes snapped shut. They were right outside, as she’d guessed - so many zombies. Peeking below, she blanched at the scattered pieces, and the quick zombies bent over, eating the others. Somehow, as she watched them devour their own kind, suddenly, what they did to the humans seemed less despicable.

She wasn’t able to see very far out due to the trees, but from the noise, it seemed like most of the action was taking place at the front of the cabin, not the back. She waited until the two undead feeding below the tree she was perched in heard something around the side of the cabin and took off. As quickly as she could, she lowered herself until she jumped the rest of the distance from the tree to the bloody ground.

Renee dashed as quietly as possible into the trees behind the cabin. Not sure where to go except away. She glanced behind her, even though she knew it wouldn’t do any good if the faster zombies came for her.

Shit. She shouldn’t have even been thinking about them. Their approach sounded like thunder. She didn’t bother to turn around to see how many chased her. She was going to die the way she thought she would weeks ago in the city.

The guttural, animalistic noises terrified her. She was fast, but nothing could outrun fast zombies because nothing stopped them. If one got hurt, the rest just kept coming, not worrying about their downed companion as they raced toward their target. Renee was slammed into the dirt and leaves on the ground. Her face pressed into the earth as something crashed onto her back.

“This her?” the creature grunted.

“Don’t care, need meat.” A different gurgling voice responded.

A terrible growl reverberated through her from the zombie on her back. A heartbeat later, she was driven further into the dirt when the zombie on her back used her to launch itself onto another zombie.

Renee put her hands into the soil to push up when suddenly her head was yanked up by her hair. A deformed face made noises at her before it bellowed. Behind her, a female responded with noises Renee recognized as communication. The one holding her hair bared its teeth and dove at her throat. She smacked at the zombie, trying to yank herself free. The zombie snapped at her face. Shit. Shit. Renee shoved, but it did nothing. Black blood exploded in her face.

She wiped her eyes and saw Brie’s icy ones glaring at her, ringed with blood and muck. Her clothes were covered in guts, but her bright red lips remained. Was it lipstick or blood?

Renee coughed and spat out the tarry blood. “Brie, you saved me.”

“Of course I did. You’re my friend, you idiot. Get up.” Brie’s eyes darted everywhere.

The two that attacked Renee ripped into one another a few feet from them. Brie grabbed her arm and dragged her to the side of the cabin. She yanked a piece of plywood near the ground and exposed a hole.

“Get in. Go forward five feet and reach up. There’s a trapdoor. Go now and don’t argue with me.”

“But-”

“Don’t. I’m this close to letting you die out here for lying to me.” Brie pushed Renee to the ground near the hole. “You can’t escape.”

Renee climbed down, under the cabin. It was really nasty, and she didn’t waste time searching for the trapdoor. It took a minute to get into the cabin with the wood of the trapdoor having warped over time, and it was tough to pry open. Once it was vertical, she wriggled into the kitchen and closed the door. She wanted to weep at her failed attempt but couldn’t.

Like everything else in her life, her attempt at running was another failure. She’d continually written off the missteps of her “normal” life before the world fell apart. Renee had tried so many different things in an effort to be helpful to humans’ survival and was never quite good enough at anything. Unable to keep anyone alive and lacking any real friends, she also never had any badass skills that made her wanted in any surviving human group.

She wanted to blame her disability because it was an easy out, but it was a lie. It’d made her shy and apprehensive as a kid, but once she mostly passed for normal, things could’ve been different. She could’ve done something .

Once the beginning of the end started, she could’ve stepped up and risen like a phoenix from the ashes. Been someone awesome or made herself into a fighter. Perhaps read more stuff that made her wiser, or learned an essential skill that would’ve helped rebuild society one day—hell, even being good at caring for others. She’d seen so many others do it.

Become awesome.

Not her. She just was .

She kept surviving, like a cockroach, even though she shouldn’t. How screwed up was it that the very things that killed everything were the only ones who truly saw her? Somehow, Brie and Zane had become convinced she was worth protecting. Even going as far as wanting her around. She put her face on her dirty knees. Except her intention was to kill them. Her friends? And all the others. Was it wrong that she felt guilty about it?