Page 7

Chapter Seven

H is assessing gaze was penetrating as I stood awkwardly waiting for him to say something. Anything .

“You better respond right now because I don’t know much about desire and love but I do know you don’t leave someone hanging after they’ve practically begged you to use them. And not just to drive you to the shops or something but-but in those kind of ways.”

“You’ve made it sound so romantic. How could I refuse?” When my mouth fell open at the unexpected retort, his resulting grin could have melted the panties off a nun.

His obvious ploy to tip the scales in his favour with sarcasm worked and I sighed openly in irritation.

“Okay, let’s say I agreed,” he said before hastily adding, “I too would have rules.”

“God, you saying rules is a turn on,” I joked, “Name them.” I tacked on with false bravado. If I wasn’t holding my toast I would be finger fidgeting like nobody’s business and as it was, he knew all my calling cards which meant I needed to play it cool.

“I guess I can be your sexual inspiration,” he said with air quotations around his final words, “The real-life sex-god behind your fictional male character.” He laughed and I couldn’t help but smirk. If you didn’t know him as well as I did, you would fall for the suave exterior he portrayed to the world. It was the same cool front he was serving right now, but he wasn’t as calm as he was trying to be. Like me, there was a tense undercurrent to the intentional movements of his body. He was off-kilter and I felt giddy at the thought that I could do this to him.

His tone softened when he next spoke causing me to give him my undivided attention, fidget-toast forgotten. “But I won’t do anything to risk what we have. You mean too much to me and I’m not sure I could live with myself if I did something to ruin our friendship. I just can’t, Win,” he paused, appearing uncertain. “Which means, we need a safe word. If I overstep, you use it.”

“A safe word? Christ. Why would we need a safe word?” I was genuinely baffled. “I’ve never even come close to doing anything which could possibly require a safe word. I mean, maybe I could get onboard with a little spanking but I’m not sure I’m your whips and chains kind of gal.” I added with candid honesty.

Jack’s husky laughter immediately parked the trajectory my thoughts were taking.

“You’ve been dabbling into your dark romance again, haven’t you?” His chair was loud against the floorboards as he stood and walked over to stand next to me.

I lifted my head to meet his gaze, my usual wit or quick retort uncharacteristically lost when I met his dark eyes.

“If this is going to work, we need to make sure we are on the same page at all times. And if we aren’t, we use the safe word. That doesn’t mean I will be spanking you though, unless you want me to.” He said with a wink, again chuckling, and I felt my cheeks flush crimson.

Would I want that?

I was asking for anticipation and lust not the red room of pain. Maybe I wasn’t equipped for all he had to offer. I’d definitely portrayed a false confidence over the years, perhaps alluding to a far more active social life to compensate for what I was certain he was doing in his free time. But the truth was I was the icicle everyone claimed me to be and no matter how many times I tried to defrost myself enough to enjoy someone different, I couldn’t.

I wasn’t totally na?ve though. Just inexperienced.

“Fine. What about infinity?”

“Done. Now what are your rules?”

I sat up straighter. This was the part I could manage because I’d spent hours after I finished a hefty chunk of writing, deliberating and knew exactly how it needed to work.

“One,” I said, raising my finger into the air, “You are here for a break and I’ve missed you so much. I want our days to be as they were going to be. I want to spend time with my friend . If I’m constantly anticipating you about to do something, I won’t be able to enjoy our time together and I don’t get enough of you as it is. So night time is for inspiration but our days are normal. Two,“ I added another finger to the one already pointed upwards, “I’m not asking for you to just strip me naked and F-U-C-K me. It doesn’t even need to be S-E-X. I mean, whatever happens happens, right? I’m just saying there are no parameters or expectations, you know?” I chewed the inside of my cheek at the way his pupils dilated over my final statement. It appeared this affected him as much as it did me.

“Anything else?” He asked after clearing his throat.

“Right. Yes. Three — no weird feelings. We love each other already so that’s obvious but if either of us feel anything else, anything new, we need to be honest because it will get messy. And messy is never something I want with you.”

Reaching for the jam he smeared some on his thumb before swiping it across my bottom lip. The pad of his thumb easily moved across my mouth as the rest of his hand cupped my chin. “Maybe messy is exactly what you need.” He’d moved in close, his breath a whisper on my skin.

When his throat bobbed, I sucked in a breath.

Suddenly, I was acutely aware of Jack Grant and what this was going to entail.

“And you’re sure? Like really sure, because I don’t want things to get awkward.” There was no hiding the way my chest was visibly rising and falling, from his touch or proximity – I couldn’t be sure.

“What could be awkward about doing things to you that I’ve only ever dreamed of?” The pulse in my neck started pounding, his words like warm syrup and I shivered. “Shit, this is going to be so fun.” He said, snapping me out of wherever the heck my mind had gone and back to a man who was clearly incredibly proud of himself for my blatant reaction.

“You can do the dishes. I’m going for a shower.” I said, needing some space before I scrapped my earlier assertions and begged for something I should not be begging for.

“Whatever you need, Win.” The boastful tease was clear in his words.

Maybe he was too good at this, I pondered as I raced upstairs in need of a cold shower, my body suddenly far too warm.

“It hasn’t changed, has it?” Jack said, his arm resting on the open window of my car as we headed for the store.

“The Bay? Never. You know how touchy people are around here. They despise change more than anything.” The sensation of the warm air was playful as my hand rolled through the wind, riding the invisible currents as I drove. I was also one of those people who hated change and it was partially why I never left. I was terrified of the unknown but he was fated for bigger things and always had been.

“Do you miss it when you’re away?”

“Sometimes. During the season not as much because I don’t actually get a lot of down time. But when we have a bye and most of the boys head home for the weekend…” He paused, watching the ocean as we skated down the adjacent road into town. It was only a fifteen minute drive from home and the view was beautiful, probably even more so when you didn’t see it everyday.

“It gets lonely sometimes, I suppose.”

I moved over to let another car pass.

“You know you can go just a little faster,” he said with a smile.

“The speed limit is there for a reason, Jacksby. What’s the rush?”

“You haven’t changed in all the years I’ve known you.” He said and I tapped the steering wheel, wondering if that was a good or bad thing. I’d never really fit in as a teenager. Other than Jack, I’d never had girlfriends or people who voluntarily wanted to spend time with me. Rather, I was more of a target for people in school. Someone to belittle or huff snide comments at as I passed. Cyborg , Robot Bitch and the Frosty Snowbitch some of the more docile terms. And consequently, I was a loner, preferring to spend most of my time in the library or with those I trusted wholeheartedly to avoid having to face it all.

Needing a change of subject, the focus away from me before I wallowed in those memories, I took an easy out.

“I remember the day you were drafted. You couldn’t pack your bags quick enough. Jackie gon’ be a football star ,” I sang loudly and off-key, remembering waiting for the news all day. He knew if he got a contract it would come with a call in the early evening, but we waited by that phone from lunchtime onwards. When he finally got the nod, Dean, Sharon, his older sister Darcy and I had swarmed him, unable to control our excitement.

“You always were destined for more.” I said wistfully because it was the truth. He was too big for Willow Bay and the success he had seen with the Hearts exemplified that.

“Remember how nervous I was when Andy and Coach knocked on the door to give me my jersey? I thought I was going to shit myself and you had no idea who either of them were and threw me shady looks when no one was looking because you were entirely miffed by my nerves.”

“They’re just people, Jack.” I repeated the same thing I’d said to him when I thought he wasn’t going to be able to even open the front door to let them in.

“It was a good day. There really is no place like home though,” he smiled, looking over at me. “When are you moving to Sydney with me?” He asked before singing just as loudly as I had, “ Well then, there , we oughta run off to the city …” and I laughed at his rendition of the John Mellencamp classic. Our song. We threw those lyrics in whenever we could but now, it seemed more realistic.

“Could you actually imagine me living in a big city like that? I would hyperventilate entering a cafe.”

“Of course I could. I’ve seen you push yourself out of your comfort zone so many times. You just doubt yourself. Although, I’m not sure Mike and Deb would like that too much.”

“Mum and Dad are hardly home these days anyway. Wait until I show you their latest pictures. They just got to Western Australia and you’d think they’d arrived in Las Vegas with their level of excitement.”

“How does Mason feel about them being there?” He asked, referring to my older brother who moved to the other side of the country because Willow Bay made him and his partner, Ethan feel claustrophobic. I was certain it was to avoid the meddling of our parents, but that was never something he would admit lest he hurt their feelings.

I laughed knowingly. “He is happy they will meet the baby once she is born, but he won’t let them stay at the house so I’m sure he will be happy once they leave too.”

“They mean well though.” Jack said, always looking for the positive.

“They do and that’s the only reason Mase is able to keep his cool. It’s the unsolicited advice which kills them. You know they told Ethan that he would need to have their cat rehoused in case it sucked the breath right out of the baby.” I flicked a side eye at Jack, my feelings around this old wives tale written all over my face.

“I can imagine Eth took that really well,” Jack retorted sarcastically.

“Mase said he chewed an ulcer into the inside of his cheek to stop himself from telling them to fuck off.”

Jack guffawed, slapping his thigh in the process. “How are they? I bet they’re excited to finally meet their daughter.”

“I have no idea. I’m actually the worst sister. I make no effort, which is understandable really given how busy my single life is,” I explained with a sarcastic wince. “But we keep each other updated on the important things. He sends me pictures of all things baby. Their house looks like a marshmallow threw up in it and honestly, it is my childhood dream.”

“Maybe you can send them those things you have hanging on your door.”

“Blasphemy. I will be keeping those forever. But I should definitely get her some of her own. Great idea.”

Ignoring his mockery I was already compiling a list of places I could find some. They were dual purpose. Girls loved them and my brother would hate them. Seemed like a no brainer. Inflicting irritation on your sibling was a rite of passage and it was something both Mason and I took very seriously, much to the distaste of our parents.

Mum and Dad had adopted us both at the same time and while Mase had some memories of the foster family he was with before he moved to the Bay, I did not. Which meant Mum, Dad, Mase and Willow Bay were all I ever remembered and unlike my older brother, I never had any inclination to find my biological family. I’d been one of the lucky ones who found my place with a loving family who raised me as their own. Fertility issues for Mum meant she couldn’t conceive and they’d been desperate for children which was why they wanted Mase and I. He didn’t find the transition as easy as I did and I loved him so much and was terrified of losing someone who finally felt like mine. So, in a desperate attempt to keep him out of trouble I would find new ways to gain his attention. Just not always in the most appropriate ways. This would now be something his soon-to-be born daughter would inherit and the anticipation was making me jittery, imagining the things I could do with a tiny little teammate. The possibilities were endless.

The local shops were small in stature but for the most part hosted everything we needed. The shop fronts were weathered from the salty breeze, bearing names that were more often than not synonymous with the family who owned them – Christerson’s Groceries, Billson’s Bakery and Cafe, Dickies Bar and Grill . Each unique in storefront and stock although all slightly faded from the coastal sun. Inside, they were purposefully brimming with personality and the staff were notorious for their ability to host a conversation lasting far longer than you ever needed, which meant you had to shop with intent.

Jack came around to where I was hunting through my purse for my phone and stretched sluggishly. Holiday mode already activated. I tried my best not to stare at the sliver of skin he was unknowingly showing as he lifted his arms over his head. Or the dark strip of hair which dipped below his waist band.

“What do we need?” He asked, shuttling me back to the sweltering parking lot. He was also aware if we didn’t have a set list, we would leave with thirty things we didn’t need and potentially be seconded to help fix, build or move something. None of which I wanted to do when it was at least 35 degrees Celsius today.

“I feel like pizza for dinner so you get the meat toppings and I will get the rest. Do you think you can avoid making eye contact because people know you’re back and will be vicious with their questions. Willow Bay is nothing if not lacking in tact.”

“Win, you know I can’t be rude. I’m as soft as a soggy tissue.”

“If you are not at the counter when I am, Jacky-Pie, you’re walking home and you’ll be stuck with the vultures. Your choice. Now let’s go.”

He looked partially terrified and I chuckled as we escaped the heaviness of the heat, pausing for the briefest moment while we greedily absorbed the chill inside the store. Pointing to the deli, I headed in the opposite direction, praying old lady Linda Christerson was busy and didn’t spot Jack. If she got her claws into him, we were going nowhere fast and he would be prodded with questions about the time he made the headlines for all the wrong reasons.