Page 3

Chapter Three

I f only people read the fine print on their paperwork, I wouldn’t need to spend what felt like eighteen hours every day answering questions about the insurance policy they selected.

No, your policy does not come with free car hire.

I appreciate the accident was no fault of your own, however, as per the Terms and Conditions, this is an additional option of which you selected not to include.

Yes, Ma’am, I understand this is a difficult time for you. No, Ma’am, you are unable to add this now, however, I can provide you with the names and numbers of local rental companies – and it was at this point I was usually called a number of not so friendly terms before being met with the end of call tone.

It wasn’t as if I didn’t agree with them. Despite working for one of the largest insurers in the country, I thought they were all greedy, manipulative worms, who rely on a very creative set of Terms and Conditions to be their safety net in any and every situation. A safety net I was paid a pretty pathetic sum to spruik and justify multiple times a day. Where I could find a loophole, I would, but it was rare. But I couldn’t deny the job allowed flexibility, which was why I stayed.

Finishing my final lap, I pushed my hair back from my face and rested my arms on the paved edge of the pool. The stone was still warm from the oppressive heat of a balmy day, despite the sun having set an hour ago, only now it was bearable to lean against. Being able to work from anywhere with a stable internet was convenient, and that included the next couple of months here at Mum and Dad’s while they rode their tandem bike around the country. Working from home had its benefits and escaping the blistering heat with a quick dip was another one.

I never understood their joy in riding the darn thing but it gave me their house, and gorgeous pool most summers which was not something I would complain about. The extra income from renting my place out while enjoying the nostalgia of all things I missed was also nice.

Jet’s, On My Mind was blasting through my portable speaker perfectly accompanying my swim tonight because my favourite person was going to be here soon. And I could hardly wait.

It had been over a year since I last saw Jack in person. An entire year of missing the way his smile lit up his entire face as well as my own. Twelve whole months since I’d seen those dimples that reminded me of the twelve year old boy who laughed until he cried when he tried to cartwheel and split his pants. Three hundred and sixty five days since I’d been able to completely relax, because six years ago when he left the Bay with a tiny little bag and a very big dream, he unknowingly took half of my soul with him.

Until then we were inseparable.

He was the other half of me and I always felt slightly off when he wasn’t close.

Because Jack was not only my best-friend but the only man I had ever trusted and the only person I’d ever loved. It had morphed over the years from childish infatuation to teenage lust to heartbreaking – wanting what you can’t have – love and it had been there before I even knew the term for it.

My feelings for Jack, while hidden, had always been different.

He grounded me in a way no one else could or ever would. While I tolerated many people in my world, Jack was the only one I truly wanted there.

Jack Grant with his smooth skin the colour of toffee and his ungodly smell.

Cologne and perfume often irritated me in a suffocating kind of way because they were unnecessary. I never understood the need to coat yourself in additional scents when you could be less intrusive to those around you by simply showering.

Contrastingly, I seemed to follow Jack’s trail like a bloodhound desperate for its next kill. When he was nearby it was all I could do not to spend all day glued to his side which proved difficult given he was unaware of my level of obsession with him.

I found it tough to articulate, even to myself, and it was part of the reason I began writing when I finished school. To voice my feelings through characters. Because how did you tell someone who had only ever looked at you as his friend, that he was your equilibrium.

It had been just over six weeks ago after I ended what was an abysmally disappointing physical arrangement with an ex-colleague, that my frustrations this time displayed themselves in a drastic hair change and a nose piercing. Neither of which I regretted.

Nor did I second guess my decision to tell Kyle I was no longer interested in having mediocre sex in his car once a month. But it was the main reason why I ended things, which haunted my nights. The same reason no relationship had ever worked for me – because my heart was never in it. How could it be when it was in Sydney with someone else.

Ascending the stairs and reaching for my towel, I dried my face and shook out my freshly cut hair. It was so much easier to manage since I’d chopped it to just below my shoulders. It was a spontaneous decision, which should have been the first indication something wasn't quite right, given I usually spent weeks overthinking before doing anything so drastic.

Shaking my hair again, I replied to a couple of messages before turning the music off. Jack would be here soon which meant I needed to shower and put any inappropriate thoughts back in their lockbox. I could spend my days with him and live through my characters at night – the very best of both worlds.

Loading the speaker, towel and my Frank Green water bottle into my arms, I turned towards the house and froze before dropping every item I just collected with a squeal.

Jack was leaning against the glass fence which lined the perimeter of the pool area, one leg crossed over the other, his arms folded across his chest, his hat slung backwards. When I began running towards him his face broke into his classic boyish smile, dimples large, and he opened his arms just in time to catch me as I launched myself into him.

“Hey,” he breathed, his chest shaking at my over the top greeting.

My arms were wrapped so firmly around his neck, my eyes full of tears.

“Jack, Jack, Jacky – you’re here.” I said with a sniffle.

“Do you greet all your friends like this?” He asked, mischief in his tone.

Loosening my grip, he released his own and I sank back to the floor, only then remembering I was in my very revealing, very wet bikini I reserved for swimming on my own.

“Oh my god!” Racing back to where my towel lay discarded in a heap I covered myself. “Sugar. I forgot I was wet. And now you’re wet,” I said, walking back over to where he was standing and patting his damp shirt.

Holy pectorals. When did Jack become such a beast?

“I’m just so happy to have you here.” I added honestly, ignoring how much I wanted to see that chest.

He smiled softly, bringing his hand up to touch the ends of my hair. “This looks good. You look different since the last time we video called.”

There was an underlying emotion to his words and he looked at me funny before tapping the side of my nose gently.

“New hair and a nose ring. Who are you and what have you done with my girl, ?”

Ugh. He spoke like that with ease, totally unaware of the things those words did to my lonely, unrequitedly desperate heart.

“Do you like it?” I asked nervously. While I would pretend I didn’t need his approval, deep down he was the only one I wanted to impress.

“I’m not sure ‘like’ is the right word.” He answered, tilting his head assessingly, and suddenly I felt clammy. Of course he didn’t like it. I was nothing like any of the girls he had ever dated given I enjoyed carbs more than any of the other food groups and wasn’t as polished as a trophy. Nope, Lennox was curvy, with two pimples courtesy of hormones on my chin and some extra layering on my thighs courtesy of a love for all things fried.

“You just look…different.” He sounded uncertain which was uncharacteristic of him, and did interesting things to my tummy.

Pushing the loose strands behind my ear, I openly studied his face. His complexion had always been deliciously golden and with the short dark stubble he somehow looked older. Wiser. And as handsome as I’d ever seen. Under my scrutiny his brows scrunched, his dark eyes narrowing.

“What?” He asked, his gaze darting over my own.

Putting my things on the floor, I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked him directly in the eyes – suddenly serious.

“Do you trust me?”

“Obviously.” He answered without hesitation.

I watched the way his teeth grazed his lower lip as he spoke, the way his throat dipped when he visibly swallowed.

“Good.” I answered before I moved my hands up to his face and pressed my lips against his own.

He stilled, entirely stiff other than his mouth which was unbelievably soft.

His lips opened ever so slightly in an invitation and with a little trepidation, I explored his mouth with my tongue. Apprehensively, in case I was overstepping and he pushed me away but instead, feather light, he met me with his own. I took the smallest of breaths, nearly moaning when the frosted notes of my Jack engulfed me before snapping back to reality and pulling away.

The soft sound of our lips parting was overshadowed by the intensity of our mingled breaths. Mindful of being half-naked and careful not to press myself against him, I took a step back and again studied him as he appeared shell-shocked. His face unreadable, his lips wet from our shared moment.

The first time I was ever impulsive with him and it was now.

Here. Like this. Oh my god. I just kissed Jack.

I was internally freaking out both in excitement and fear. And honestly, I was awash with need.

Bending down, I reached for my towel, using the two seconds to regroup.

When I stood back up his brows were raised questioningly. In a performance I would likely tell my grandchildren about, I masked my imminent freak out and giggled.

“That was exactly what I needed.” I said as a matter of explanation before linking his arm and trying to guide him to the house but he was glued to the spot.

He cleared his throat before speaking, “Care to elaborate, Win?” He said, slowly following my lead to walk towards the house.

“Well, Jackson and Summer just had their first kiss but I was struggling with the description. It felt as though it lacked the realism I was imagining. That helped though. Thanks.”

He halted which yanked my arm still linked through his, causing me to also stop.

“You kissed me for your book?”

“Correct. But you kinda kissed me back, soldier.” I retorted with feigned nonchalance. At this point, I could have been nominated for an Oscar with the level of acting I was exuding.

“Hardly,” he replied with an ease which based on his impossibly large eyes, was also most definitely forced.

“You definitely did, but it’s okay. It really helped.”

Helped by making every single one of my dreams come true and waking a part of me which had been asleep for a long time.

Even underneath the shadow of night, his dark eyes lit a fire deep in my belly, reminding me while my heart was full, other parts of my body were going to struggle over the next couple of months with wanting what they couldn’t have. Especially after the way the softest touch of his lips against my own sent a mating call to my entire reproductive system.

“Let’s go have a drink.” I said, trying desperately to keep the mood light.

He didn’t need to like my new look, he didn’t need to kiss me back, he didn’t even need to understand. He just needed to escort me inside before I ran upstairs and grabbed whatever I could to ease the throb which was pulsing like a steady drumbeat between my legs.