Page 40 of Kill Shot

New Beginnings

Seb

Months passed before Seb felt comfortable leaving the confines of his room. Meals were delivered to him, and his father knocked on his door several times a day to make sure that he was alright.

He wasn’t, of course, but he always reassured his father that everything was alright.

How could his father ever understand what had happened? How could he ever smile again if he knew the truth about what exactly Seb had suffered at the hands of Bolero?

And so he kept the details to himself. Maybe he would tell a therapist one day, maybe not, but for now, he kept his secrets and tried to build a routine for himself.

But no matter how much he tried to busy himself with reading and writing, he still found his thoughts drawn back to Nico.

Nico…

The man had betrayed him. In many ways, he was responsible for everything that had happened to Seb at Bolero’s hands. He was the reason why Seb awoke with night terrors and suddenly froze in shivering terror at random throughout the day.

But even so, Seb still wanted to see him again. He didn’t know if it would turn into a shouting match or a tearful embrace, but he still wanted to see the man. He needed closure if nothing else, but his father said that he hadn’t heard a word from Nico since they’d left Mexico.

Eventually, Seb did decide to leave his room. However, he didn’t want to spend any time in the house or even with his father. He knew it was selfish and demanding, but he had to get out. He had to go somewhere that wouldn’t be quite so suffocating.

Seb opened his door, startling the guard standing watch outside. The man watched him cautiously, as if he was a wounded animal that might behave unpredictably.

Not entirely inaccurate, Seb decided.

“I-I want to go out.”

The guard nodded. He had clearly been given instructions from his father to do anything that Seb wanted, or at least anything within reason.

“Where to, sir?”

“Caroline’s,” Seb answered without a second thought.

He hadn’t known that’s what he would say, but he instantly realized that he wanted to see her more than anyone else.

He wanted to reclaim some of that normalcy, and he wanted to hear her reassuring advice.

In fact, the itch to see Caroline had been on his mind for a while now.

No wonder that was the first thing to come out when he finally decided to step out.

The guard nodded, then followed Seb as he hurried through his house, trying to escape as quickly as possible without actually resorting to running.

In a matter of minutes, he was sitting in the backseat, with a recovered Frederick in the driver’s seat, and being driven to a place that he thought he would never see again.

As absurd as it sounded, that had been one of the fears that had filled his fevered mind when he was in Bolero’s clutches.

He’d cried at the thought that he’d never be able to accomplish what he’d set out to do with his life.

He’d never be able to help people less fortunate again, never be able to talk to Caroline and help her tell her story.

But as he drew nearer to her apartment, he couldn’t help but remember how he’d first met Nico. God, how naive had he been back then? He’d thought that Nico’s absolute confidence and skill with his fists had been something to be admired. He’d thought it exciting and dangerous.

Well, it had certainly been dangerous. He should have listened to his father back then and never gotten involved with anyone like Nico. He should have just lived his life quietly, protected by his guards and never risking himself.

He’d started crying without realizing it. Frederick and the other guards in the car must have noticed, but no one said anything. They just stared straight ahead and did their jobs.

Why did he feel so distraught when he imagined never meeting Nico? Wouldn’t things have been better that way? Wouldn’t he have been spared so much pain?

But at the same time, he would have missed out on all the time they’d spent together. He would have missed out on all those firsts, and all those emotions would never have filled him.

Seb dried his eyes when they pulled up beside Caroline’s place.

He let his bodyguards get out and secure the area, just like they always wanted to do, and just like he’d always impatiently protested against. But not this time.

This time, he was a good little fragile object, allowing himself to be protected from any and all harm.

When it was safe, he got out, and the first thing he did was cast a glance on the opposite side, at the window of what used to be Nico’s apartment.

A part of him wondered if he still used the place.

His father would’ve known if Nico was back in the country, but there’d been no word.

Or maybe his father didn’t want to worsen Seb’s pain and so chose to say nothing.

With a sigh, Seb shook his head, holding back tears that threatened to fall, and made his way up the stairs to Caroline’s floor.

He didn’t have a clue if she was home or able to see him.

For all he knew, he was intruding at an incredibly inopportune time, but he needed this.

If necessary, he could apologize for his poor timing, but he couldn’t stay home and wither away into nothingness.

Seb knocked on her door, his heart pounding in his chest. His father’s guards stood close enough that they could intervene if something went amiss. It was a small miracle in and of itself that they even allowed him to be the one in front of the door.

“Coming!” a painfully familiar voice called out, and Seb felt a yearning so potent that it physically ached.

The door opened, and there she was, leaning on her cane just a little more heavily than he remembered. Her lined face broke out into a broad smile at the sight of him, and she reached out to pat his arm.

“Oh, good, I wasn’t sure when to expect you back. Come in, come in,” she said as she guided him inside.

From her perspective, this had probably been nothing more than a few weeks without seeing him. To her, this probably looked like any other visit.

Seb allowed himself to be guided to a chair, one he had last sat in with Nico present. Caroline sat across from him, but as she settled in, he saw a look in her eyes that made him realize just how perceptive she really was.

“He’s been getting quite anxious, you know,” she said with a thoughtful nod.

Seb smiled politely, unsure of exactly how to interpret that. Was she talking about one of her kids or grandkids? Her mind wasn’t going, was it?

But then she looked past him, over his shoulder, and Seb felt a prickling sense of foreboding. He already knew what he was going to see even before he turned around.

It couldn’t be.

And yet it was. In the doorway leading to Caroline’s kitchen, there stood Nicolas Frederico Lopez Gutierrez, his entire body taut with tension, his dark eyes boring into Seb.

He was searching for something, desperate to find it, and Seb prayed with every fiber of his being that he could give whatever that was.

“You’re back.” It was the only thing that Seb could think to say, no matter how lame it sounded.

Nico nodded. “Caroline has been kind enough to let me keep her company.”

Seb turned back to the wily old woman, a million questions on his mind.

“I told him I would kick him out if there was any trouble,” she said with a shrug. “But there wasn’t any trouble, and he’s not a bad cook. Now, if I was a few years younger, then I’d get up and leave to give you two a minute alone, but these old bones won’t let me be quite that considerate.”

Seb didn’t think that his legs could support him, but he still rose unsteadily to his feet. The instant that he wobbled, there was a reassuring hand on his arm, and Nico was beside him.

In a single instant, he was hit by a wave of familiar scent, a raw and overpowering masculinity beneath a spicy cologne that pleasantly burned his nostrils. His body leaned into Nico by reflex, allowing him to be supported.

Together, they went into the kitchen. There was only the facade of privacy, and his guards and Caroline could both hear anything they said that was louder than a whisper, but Seb didn’t care.

All he cared about was the man beside him. And then, a moment later, that became the man in front of him.

They embraced like they’d never embraced before, and a million unsaid things passed between them.

Grief, pain, exhaustion, heartbreak, betrayal, they’d endured it all, and neither wanted to talk about it.

They didn’t know what they wanted, but their bodies yearned to hold one another, and that was good enough for now.

“I’m sorry,” Nico croaked. He’d never sounded like that before, and Seb instinctively understood that Nico was on the verge of tears. It couldn’t have been a voice that anyone in the world had heard before, not from Nico, but Seb still recognized it.

“It… it wasn’t your fault,” Seb said unsteadily. He didn’t know if he believed those words, not yet, but he wanted them to be true. Wasn’t that enough?

“I’m sorry for…”

Seb held his breath, praying that Nico would say nothing further, that he wouldn’t go into detail about what had happened.

The last thing Seb wanted was to relive any of it, especially not here.

A part of him wanted to turn away from Nico.

This was the man that absolutely used and manipulated him.

Granted, he’d asked Nico to be his pretend boyfriend, but then he’d thought they did have something real.

There’d been no pretense in those kisses they shared or their endless lovemaking when their bodies entangled in the heat of passion.

He should leave and forget this man for good. God, he wanted to.

But seeing Nico here, alive, after they’d both come so close to death…

None of that mattered to him anymore. There was no need for endless drama when only the truth remained. Seb could feel nothing but his love for the man who put him through hell and back.

“I’m so sorry for dragging you into my mess,” Nico finished, his voice lowered to a fierce whisper. “I thought that I could leave you alone to live your life and forget all about me, but I’m a selfish man, carino . I couldn’t bear being apart from you.”

Seb swallowed past the lump in his throat, but didn’t say anything. He wanted to hear all that Nico had to say.

“I’m sorry for coming back here and forcing you to face me like this.

I knew how much Caroline meant to you, and I was hoping you’d come see her, so I came by to visit her everyday.

I just wanted to be close to something that reminded me of you…

and I was hoping you’d stop by one day and I’d have the chance to…

so we could…” Nico trailed off, swallowing hard.

“I’m sorry that I have invaded your life once more.

If you don’t want to see me anymore, I’ll understand.

Though I cannot promise I won’t keep trying to win you back. ”

“How long have you been around?” Seb asked after a long pause.

“Since five days ago.”

Five days? That was how far back Seb had been having the itch to visit Caroline, but had been putting it off till today, when the feeling had gotten too strong to ignore. Five freaking days!

Neither knew who moved first. They clutched one another harder again, gasping for air even as they hugged so tightly that the pressure squeezed their lungs.

But the embrace did eventually end, and they reluctantly parted, joined only by their hands.

Seb looked up, his heart thudding hard in his chest as their eyes met. He almost looked away, but didn’t. And Nico didn’t either.

Whatever was in Nico’s gaze, whether it was pain, longing, or maybe even regret, Seb let it hit him full force.

God, he really did love Nico.

“But my father—”

“I spoke to your father,” Nico interrupted. “I contacted him as soon as I was back in the country, informing him of my progress in dealing with the remnants of the Black Cobra. I thought he would want to know that nobody was going to come after him… or you.”

Seb searched his face, but nothing about Nico’s face said that he was lying or holding anything back. If anything, it felt like he was being fully, completely honest for the first time.

“They’re gone then? They’re not going to come after us again?”

Nico shook his head, squeezing Seb’s hands even tighter. “No, I made sure of it. And Pablo—your father—actually asked me if I wanted to work for him. I won’t take the job if you’re against it, but…”

Seb could barely believe what he was hearing. His father had accepted Nico? After all this, his father was willing to forgive?

It took Seb a moment to understand what his dizziness really meant. There was nothing standing between him and Nico anymore. There were no barriers between them now. Nothing that could stop them from being together. For real this time.

There were only his own feelings and the question of whether he wanted to be with the man he loved.

“I love you,” Seb whispered, feeling new wet streaks on his cheeks. “I love you so much. I just don’t know how long it will take me to be normal. And I’m not sure if any of it… if us … meant anything to you.”

Nico’s expression broke something in Seb’s heart.

“Oh, Sebby. It meant the world to me— us . I love you. So, so much. No matter how long it takes, I’ll be there for you, you hear me?

Whatever you need, mi amor , I’ll give it to you.

As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be by your side forever, and whether you need me to protect you or just listen, I’ll be there. ”

Maybe Seb needed Nico to show him exactly that and not just tell him. Maybe he was letting Nico off too easily after everything he did. Maybe Seb needed to take time to do more healing, but there was a strong tugging in his heart that wouldn’t stop telling Seb that this was right.

His eyes watered again, and he could no longer hold himself back.

He closed the space, leaning into Nico, capturing his lips for a kiss, more tentative than they’d ever shared before.

There was a fear there, and Seb was terrified that it might not be just as magical as he remembered.

Hadn’t too much happened? Had everything been ruined?

And he was right.

The kiss was nothing like it had been before. It was no longer brimming with lust and forbidden desire.

Now it was a generous exchange of love and intimacy, a promise between two people who had endured more than anyone should have to bear. It was a guarantee that they would be there for one another, that nothing could shake the bond they were forging.

It was perfect.